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Ban Alligators!

February 10, 2016

“Joshua James, 24, was arrested Monday and charged with assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation officials say he threw a 3 1/2-foot-long alligator through a Wendy’s drive-through window in Palm Beach County in October,” latimes.com reports. “He’s also charged with illegally possessing an alligator and petty theft. Bail was set Tuesday at $6,000, and James was ordered to have no contact with animals . . . James mother, Linda James, told WPTV that her son’s actions were a ‘stupid prank.'”

43 COMMENTS

Marc February 10, 2016 At 20:03

“Where’s my F-ing chicken nuggets!”
- Flat Rascal February 10, 2016 At 20:26
  
  mmmm. tastes like chicken.
  - Mk10108 February 10, 2016 At 21:18
    
    Nope. Taste like the bottom of a pond.
    - Splitlip February 11, 2016 At 08:16
      
      Nope. That would be catfish.
jwm February 10, 2016 At 20:04

I’d say stupid prank was a good choice of words. If the gator had had a gun it wouldn’t have been subjected to a kidnapping and assualt.

#gatorlivesmatter
- SteveInCO February 11, 2016 At 07:31
  
  We need to help out those poor forbidden possessor gators.
  
  #gatoraid
The Phantom February 10, 2016 At 20:07

Florida. Some come to escape the cold. Others come to escape reality.
- jwm February 10, 2016 At 20:09
  
  Floriduh Man.
  - BDub February 10, 2016 At 20:14
    
    When I’m bored, I just google-image-search “Florida Man” or browse #FloridaMan. It never fails to entertain.
  - Geoff PR February 10, 2016 At 21:50
    
    “Floriduh Man.”
    
    It’s spelled ‘Flori-Duh’…
    
    🙂
    - LordGopu February 15, 2016 At 22:29
      
      The alligator was your first clue this took place in Florida but the fact that he threw it through a drive thru window removed all doubt. Well done Florida Man.
TXGal February 10, 2016 At 20:12

24 yr. MAN, not a kid! His mom might need some growing up! Son way too old to be doing pranks. Let him sit in jail until he can come up with bale bond money on his own
BDub February 10, 2016 At 20:12

Assault with deadly weapon is a bullshit charge for that. If he’d have thrown it into a toddlers playpen, like it was flash-bang or something, then I could see that charge applying.
Mr. Woodcock February 10, 2016 At 20:15

Illegally possessing an alligator? Are they on the NFA list now as well? Or is this only alligators shorter than 16 inches.
- Jon in CO February 10, 2016 At 22:53
  
  Gator mouth was 16″, just didn’t meet the 26″ OAL requirement.
  - Mark Lloyd February 11, 2016 At 01:14
    
    I’d venture a guess on them considering the number of teeth as being high capacity!
Priest of the center mass February 10, 2016 At 20:36

We fired our cannons till the barrel melted down so we grabbed an alligator and fired another round,we filled his mouth with cannon balls and powdered his behind and when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.
Always loved the use use of alligators as weapons!
Being from R.I. its a treat to see them now that i live in FL….flol
- Timmy! February 10, 2016 At 21:48
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL7XS_8qgXM
  
  Good Old Johnny Horton. I loved that song as a kid.
JT February 10, 2016 At 20:40

Good thing this wasn’t an assault alligator. That is like a WMD.
Model 31 February 10, 2016 At 20:49

Let the gator take orders in the drive thru…can’t do any worse than some places I’ve been.
Priest of the center mass February 10, 2016 At 20:51

SBR = snout barreled reptile
PPGMD February 10, 2016 At 20:56

Florida residents while reading a strange news story: “Please don’t be Florida, please don’t be Florida, please don’t be DAMN IT it is Florida.”
- SouthernPhantom February 10, 2016 At 21:23
  
  This sums it up precisely. We always know deep down.
  - Von Schmitto February 11, 2016 At 03:41
    
    We do. For me anymore it’s “please don’t be Tampa, please don’t be Tampa”.
    - SteveInCO February 11, 2016 At 07:34
      
      I’ve had similar feeling when reading about wildfires…only it’s “please don’t let it be Colorado Springs…”
- Doesky2 February 11, 2016 At 06:11
  
  A lot of the crap of the US just settles down to the lowest point of the country which is Florida. A bunch of scumbags one step in front of the repo men and general losers in life just keep floating their way towards the most remote place they cann flee and that’s Florida. Mix in the retired cotton heads, the fantasy world of Disney, the transient nature of a large segment of folks and you got a real toxic brew.
  
  Moved thete for the first 4 years of my career a and pretty much spent most of my time figuring on a way to get the heck out.
  - Wiregrass February 11, 2016 At 07:47
    
    Born there. I left and moved to Pennsylvania to get away from the Yankees.
Rokurota February 10, 2016 At 21:12

Too bad he didn’t Mexican Carry it.
- A Hill February 11, 2016 At 03:13
  
  I wanna know is was the gator loaded, or was he Israeli carrying it?
Jjimmyjonga February 10, 2016 At 21:56

I feel bad for the gator…we was just being a gator
Hannibal February 10, 2016 At 22:39

If you’re going to be arrested, might as well go all-in for it. At least he has something interesting to say in response to the “what are you in for?” question.
Daily Beatings February 10, 2016 At 23:13

Watching too much Adult Swim?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZqaIuyvTHU
col potter February 11, 2016 At 05:57

So, the Pennsylvania game warden called the West Virginia game warden and told him “we have a WV possum up here in Pa.” The WV game warden asked “How do you know it is a WV possum.” The Pa warden tells the WV warden “Because it got caught in a trap chewed off three of its legs and it’s still caught.”
- neiowa February 11, 2016 At 08:25
  
  I thought it was ALWAYS “West By God Virginy”
SteveInCO February 11, 2016 At 07:35

That gator was just turning its life around…
Wiregrass February 11, 2016 At 07:44

I’m just imagining the commercial with the redhead about to chomp down on a flat drippy Wendy burger when out of nowhere this freaked out gator starts tearing through the dining area and panic ensues.

Then the old slogan appears, ” You know when it’s real”.
neiowa February 11, 2016 At 08:56

Open carry or concealed?
James69 February 11, 2016 At 09:00

Actually this should have been a DGU of the day! I read it and thought, Thank god it’s not Alabama! At least they did not charge him with Terrorist threat – bio-weapon. If the cop only had a koran to throw down!
jwtaylor February 11, 2016 At 10:07

First, dang…all the nuts roll down hill.

But really, it’s a BS charge. A 3 1/2 foot gator is mean as hell, but not deadly. I caught a 5 /2 footer in the water, alive and he threw the hook about 20 seconds after I grabbed him. He was very, very angry with me, and very very bitey. I pulled him to the shore and shot him. (I have nuisance tags.) I live mounted the little guy and now he proudly guards my game meat freezer.
Jimmyjames February 11, 2016 At 11:54

I SAID NO ONIONS…couldn’t resist as that is my pet peeve with Wendy’s.
Ralph February 11, 2016 At 13:31

Do not Ban alligators! Mennen Speed Stick works faster and leaves alligators smelling as fresh as a daisy.
- jwtaylor February 11, 2016 At 16:40
  
  Horrible. Just horrible.
Hackapotamus February 11, 2016 At 18:58

At least it wasn’t California. Your gator can’t have more than 10 teeth, and must not have certain features such as legs, a tail, or jaws that can be opened without a tool.

God forbid a ghost gator. Far too dangerous.