Ok, so to start, I get that the article in question appeared in the New York Post, published in, of course New York City, where all things “guns” are strictly verboten, so a New Yorker is naturally going to get creative. But therein lies the problem: When trying to determine or write an article about the best self-defense tools available, there is clearly, one option that trumps all others. The others are nice, maybe even kinda cool. But none of them are a gun. A firearm in virtually any of its many designs and configurations is the best self-defense tool ever created by man and, some bumper sticker enthusiasts might argue, perfected by Samual Colt. In the game of rock, paper, scissors, if you added nuke, which would beat all the others combined, the gun plays that same role in a discussion of self-defense tools.
But, for shits and giggles, let’s play along for a minute.
So the Post article, “How to stay safe with some of the best self-defense tools on the market,” was a nice New York-safe (sort of, more on that in a minute) article by Emma Sutton-Williams. A quick look at Ms. Sutton-Williams’ bio reveals she is an ardent electric scooter rider, a proud dog mom to a designer breed of Mini Sheepadoodle (not sure what that really is though speculating it’s a super ineffective version of a tiny sheep dog mixed with some version of poodle and is likely infinitely cute and hypoallergenic) and is a Julliard-trained violinist (impressive). She is no doubt quite talented, rather smart, exceptionally cultured, fashionably attractive, a solid writer and likely has zero familiarity or knowledge of firearms.
So, she got creative and looked at the typical non-gun items that can be used to knock an attacker senseless or simply attack his (or her) senses. Here was the author’s premise:
“In a world where chaos has taken root, propelled by social media and broadcasted entertainment, we constantly feel its toll on our society. The atmosphere is charged with a fearful undertone, robbing us of tranquility, even joy, if we let it. The world has stopped listening to one another, causing a wake of public shaming, name-calling, and acts of violence.
“In an effort to make our readers feel as safe as possible, we researched the best self-defense tools and techniques to feel protected and empowered. Knowing how to shield yourself is crucial whether you’re walking alone at night or navigating crowded public spaces.”
The Post is doing a little what The Truth About Guns is doing. We want our readers to feel safer, too. We just take a more direct, reliable approach to promoting that safety.
Ms. Sutton-Williams encourages readers to “always run away or hide from threats where possible.” That’s an understandably New York approach where everyone today is taught to acquiesce to threats because their attacker has probably been harmed by some injustice that has made them that way.
And in all honesty, retreat or possibly hiding (though I really don’t like that option because that can go bad on you in an instant if found) are the smarter legal options and certainly retreating is the one that gives you the best odds of living to fight another day. But I read the comments section of this site, and I know, nobody here is going to admit to ever planning on retreating. Most of us are adherents to the Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground principles of law and we believe if someone bad wants to bring it, then we’ll give it to them. We are generous in that respect and for the most point, committed to legally and responsibly protecting ourselves when necessary.
“(B)ut if you have no choice but to face your attacker,” she writes. “We’ve provided a few self-defense tools to keep you alive.” Let’s look at these tools and what the Post has to say about the benefits of each.
Best Taser for Self-Defense – Taser Pulse 2
So, just below the firearm in the use of force continuum is the taser. With this choice, the article is close, but no cigar on top effective self-defense tool. And, it is still not clearly, any more legal than a gun is in that great Metropolis. The city had banned them (legal language that still exists) but a judge in 2019 ruled it unconstitutional for the city to ban them. So, now it appears, the city is not enforcing the rule and New Yorkers can carry them as long as they don’t engage in criminal activities. That’s legal quicksand in that area as what could be determined to be a “criminal activity” is up to the city. Outside of NYC, the Taser Pulse 2, with a price tag right at $400 is just as expensive, if not more expensive, than a number of quality handguns, and still not quite as effective at stopping a serious attack.
We will say, we do still love stun guns, too. They can actually turn a defended attack into a TikTok-worthy video clip as an attacker goes rigid and craps his pants before lying on the ground twitching in anticipation of the police’s arrival.
Best Pepper Spray for Self-Defense – Sabre Pepper Spray, Quick Release Keychain
Pepper spray is also a worthwhile, nonlethal defense tool that can certainly work in a pinch, doesn’t require much training to deploy and isn’t as wrapped up in the legal pitfalls firearm use may be when discharged in a defensive action. It can leave your attacker writhing in absolute agony if he’s not overly hyped on PCP or meth, and unless he has some bizarre allergic reaction, he gets the chance to live until his court date, where in NYC, he may then be seen as the victim and released only to be pepper sprayed again at a later date.
Just watch the winds on those city streets. They can cut through those buildings like canyons and blow back if spraying the wrong direction, which can render you incapacitated instead of your attacker and make you easier pickings than you were when you simply woke up this morning looking to catch the 4 train over to 51st and Lex.
It’s here where the author’s creativity kicked in and things got, well, interesting:
Best Self-Defense Keychain – She’s Birdie
Assuming a piercingly loud noise will be enough to dissuade your attacker, I guess a keychain alarm is better than simply screaming. But my money is on it will just make it easier for them to find your unconscious body after the attacker has finished up. But hey, as the article points out, it does at least come “in stylish, fun shades.” But then so does an SKS Guns Santa Muerte, a tricked-out Colt 1911 in .38 Super that commemorates Mexico’s “Day of the Dead” and can even inspire some felonious attacker to join the celebration as a vaunted honoree if he decides your keychain alarm isn’t enough to change his plans.
Best Concealed Self-Defense Article – CRKT Williams Defense Key
Here’s a name many EDC folks might recognize as CRKT makes cool knives, tools and apparently defensive keys. The Williams Defense Key is like a house key but has a wider grip that fits nicely in your fist and extends between the fingers with a more jagged edge than a standard key. It’s perfect for punching a fresh sucking wound into the esophagus of an attacker or shredding a cornea so eye juice oozes where sight once flowed. Drive it hard enough into the eye with the force of a Katie Taylor headbutt in a Tyson-Paul prelim bout and it’s long enough you might even scrape frontal brain lobe.
It’s a nifty tool, but still forces me to get closer to my attacker than I care to. I want to avoid hands on with my mugger (actually keep him from going hands on) at all costs and keep the distance at least a car length between us and bridgeable by only 600 ft-lbs of launched energy from Grand pap’s Nam-era .45.
More Self-Defense Tools
Additional tools listed in the affiliate-intended article include items from the intriguing to the “hmmm, okay.”
Defender Rings were the intriguing. The company offering rings that would rival a fistful of Tom Brady’s Super Bowl Rings worn at the same time. Made of stainless steel and available in a variety of gold plating, the rings have features that allow you to dig into skin like a short ice pick and potentially fracture nose and cheek bones when the proper force is applied. Again, too hands on.
The article also mentioned a self-defense cane, the use of which has been taught in executive security and defensive classes; a tire thumper, which looks more like a vintage police night stick carried by the late, great Sean Connery in The Untouchables and an odd item to tote around the city unless you want to look like the attacker; an old-school Heavy-Duty 3 D-Cell Maglite that used to be carried by police until they realized more lumens and compact size were a better benefit than a model that served as a secondary baton (Though I do know one retired officer who once used one to successfully subdue a drugged out naked dude. He said it worked quite well putting a crease into a skull like a dry cleaner working on a pair of khakis.); and lastly, with the younger generation’s penchant for hydrating ad nauseam, a BruMate Era 30-ounce tumbler with a handle and straw was recommended as an everyday tool that could be used in a last-ditch effort to bash an attacker in the head. Sure, if you must.
What About a Gun?
So, lots of nifty little self-defense items, but what about the most effective, purpose-built, superiorly designed, reliably performing firearm. When it comes to self-defense, there really is only one choice. It does indeed come with the need for more responsibility and judiciousness in its possible use, but when defending your life or protecting the life of someone you love really matters, there is one item that makes every person alive equal in lethality, is easy for anyone to physically use and can most dependably stop an attacker in his tracks, and that my friends, is the good old basic gun—defending Americans since, well, before we were even called Americans.
More like chaos propelled by the mainstream media. She blamed social media
When attacked the religious momma skunk told her kits “Let us spray.”
That’s shocking” said the Eel.
OMG I’m outta here” said the Pronghorn.
“dass raysis,” said the debdub.
wth… possum, is that you?
Why are these people always so narcissistic and believe what everyone else needs in every situation?
I see all kinds of problems, both practical and legal, with the suggestions. Some were pointed out in this article, such as pepper spray. For some people, such as myself, it has no effect. Tazers don’t work like in the movies. They hurt and can cause a nasty cramp, but that’s about it unless it’s the projectile style, which you can keep zapping them with. Knives are still lethal weapons and can land you in legal hot water. But my biggest issue legally is hitting your attacker in the head with anything; that’s legal hot water because it falls into lethal/significant harm actions.
Lastly, as noted by this author, hands-on is your LAST line of defense and should be avoided whenever possible. Using a firearm in defense of your person does NOT require the discharge of that firearm; simply displaying it may be enough.
At the end of the day, no one, and I do mean no one, has the right to tell another person how they should or should not defend themselves. Have at it if you want to run away or pee your pants. Me? I’m drawing my firearm if I feel the situation requires it.
This was a fun read! Of course no mention was made of the ‘non-lethal’ tools commonly available (and often carried) in fly-over country. Things like chainsaws, axes, etc. in addition to various firearms that would make Ms. Sutton-Williams crap her panties at the mere mention of such destructive power in the hands of Randy Redneck and his family. 🙂
ok, her first mistake was this…”In an effort to make our readers feel as safe as possible…”
there is no ‘feel safe’ when it comes to self defense…there is only ‘having the best chance of making you or your loved ones actually safe when the threat shows up.
for example, one can barricade their self in a room and ‘feel safe’ until they start to consider the average room door in a home can be breeched by an attacker brute force in less than 10 seconds.
and all of her ‘selections’ while maybe making one ‘feel’ safe, and rarely in some very isolated incidents might possibly deter an attacker, they do not actually ‘make’ one safer.
Although part of her reasoning may have been somewhat a genuine ‘trying to help’ rather than completly a sales pitch advertisement from which she probably got ‘paid’…. her main audience is gullible people like her who substitute ‘i feelz’ … research shows us that over 89% of people not armed with a firearm and using it for defense, and even if using other things like this author outlines, when subjected to violent attack will suffer serious injury and possibly death.
research also shows us that persons armed with a firearm and using it for defense are ~97% likely to escape any injury or death if violently attacked.
there is a big difference between ‘feel safe’ and actually being safe.
ignore this author, not to slam her but she has no idea about which she writes.
correction for: “research shows us that over 89% of people not armed with a firearm and using it for defense,”
should have been…
research shows us that over 89% of people not armed with a firearm for defense,
paracord padlok.
Remarkably effective for how unassuming it is. Bike locks have been used similarly but will always have a preference for the old mag lights. In the end NYC effective self defense starts with move and get a new job. The ones that can afford security are not effected and the ones that can afford a gun often can’t afford the inevitable lawsuit. There are other cities like this of course but NYC is particularly nasty about it.
…. ” bridgeable only by 600 ft-lbs launched from granpappy’s ‘Nam era .45″
Maybe if stoked with 45Supers, as the average “Nam’ era” 45 ACP runs about 350 ft lbs or less. Or, maybe he meant granpappy’s ‘Nam era 1911 with a new 10mm top end on it.
That’s a very nice looking 1911. Why It’d be just a pleasure to be shot with that.
Purdy.
The only viable method of self-defense available to New Yorkers is to move out of the city. I was born and raised in a blue state hellhole. That is your only alternative if you want to stay out of jail.
“…nobody here is going to admit to ever planning on retreating.”
I had to run from a small crowd near downtown one summer night. I was able to outrun them. I was 12 btw and in good shape. I didn’t recognize any of them. They were much older. They spoke to me as I was entering a convenience store, asking to see my skateboard. They came after me as I left.
From the article:
“While many people rely on pepper spray, keys, knives, or phone apps for defense…”
Phone apps? Lol what?
At least she did not mention that POS thing that Sean Hannity promotes with such (well paid, I assume) vigor.