In preparation for her July 30 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee in support of Sen. Amy Klobuchar’s ill-named Protecting Domestic Violence and Stalking Victims Act, women’s boxing champion Christy Martin penned a commentary explaining why guns are bad. Titled My Gun Didn’t Protect Me, she explains how her former husband almost murdered her. My normal modus operandi is to break gun grabbers’ pieces into small bits, the better to demolish them. In this instance, though, I want you to get the full story of the attack . . .
For 20 years, my ex-husband Jim said he would kill me if I ever tried to leave him. On November 23, 2010 — the day I told him that I wanted a divorce — he tried his best to stay true to his word. That night, Jim came into my room and said he had to show me something. I could see the knife sticking out of his shorts. I couldn’t see the gun in his pocket.
Before I could react, he assaulted me, stabbing me and leaving me bleeding on the ground, despite my best attempts to fight back. He then stood at my feet, pulled out the gun, aimed at my chest and shot. The weapon was my own pink 9 mm Glock.
The bullet missed my heart by 4 inches. Jim, thinking I was dead, left the room to shower the blood off. I used the opportunity to escape …
I’m a woman who knows how to defend herself. As one of the most successful female boxers of all time, I made a career of dispatching would-be assailants. But all my years of training proved useless when my abusive husband decided he would murder me with my own weapon.
I don’t want to be a cold-hearted bastard and I truly do feel sorry for anyone who has endured a horrific assault like this. But I must say. my first thought on reading her story was. what an epic fail on so many levels.
First, according to her own testimony at his trial, her husband had a history of physically abusing her and had, for twenty years promised that he would kill her if she left him. So the night she told him she was leaving, why was she still in the house? Why was she alone with him? Why the hell didn’t she have her gun with her instead of leaving it where he could get his hands on it?
Finally, her training wasn’t useless when her husband tried to murder her with a gun, it was useless when he tried to murder her with a knife.
But there is more fail to come:
It was, in the end, pure luck that saved me from becoming one of the 48 women shot to death by a current or former boyfriend or spouse every month.
I am still a gun owner and a proud supporter of the Second Amendment. That said, my experience serves to illustrate how deadly guns can be in the hands of deranged domestic abusers like Jim…
Christy’s stated goal, to keep guns out of the hands of “deranged domestic abusers,” sounds great on the surface. Who can argue against that? But like so many apparently laudable goals, the devil is in the details. For example, the Domestic Violence Offender Gun Ban (often referred to as the Lautenberg Amendment) passed in 1997 and was touted as having a similar goal; keeping “deranged domestic abusers” from murdering an intimate partner. Unfortunately we ended up with men (primarily) discovering that a 20- or 30-year-old misdemeanor DV charge that they pled to (“it’s no worse than a traffic ticket; it won’t even show up on your record; it’s cheaper than paying a lawyer” etc.) has resulted in a lifetime ban on firearms for them.
Furthermore Martin even admits that she prefers that no one have a gun:
Some argue that removing guns from abusive situations takes away women’s best means of protecting themselves. Before my husband used my own gun against me, I may have agreed.
So because Christy was carless and unprepared, she thinks all women must be rendered helpless in the face of larger attackers? Wait, there’s more information (and another level of fail) to be gleaned from Christy’s story. In an interview with MSNBC she gave more detail about the attack:
“As I lay there, I could hear the gurgling. I knew my lung had been ruptured, but I wasn’t dying fast enough,” Martin told MSNBC on Wednesday. “So he came back 30 minutes later and shot me with my own 9mm.”
So even though her husband completely surprised her and stabbed her repeatedly, if she’d had her gun on her, she would have had 30 minutes in which she might have been able to shoot her husband and prevent any further attack.
But let us, for a moment, play “What if?” What if she hadn’t had a gun? What if her husband hadn’t found it and used it to try to kill her more quickly? How might Christy’s story have differed if all he’d had was a knife? It might have gone something like this:
The assailant entered the room, apparently surprising the victim and assaulted her, stabbing her and leaving her bleeding on the ground, despite her best attempts to fight back. He then stood at her feet, pulled out the knife again, knelt on her chest and slit her throat.
Not really a happier ending, is it? But Martin seems oblivious to what might have happened had her husband not found her gun. She writes:
Women in domestic conflicts are nearly 10 times more likely to be threatened or shot with a gun than to use the gun in self-defense.
Really? Tell me Christy, how did you go about collecting your data? What are your sources?
As a result, the very presence of a gun in a domestic conflict makes it five times more likely that the woman will be killed.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; abusive scumbags aren’t going to shoot their partner for burning the pot roast or to “teach them to mind”, they typically pull a gun in order to kill said partner. This isn’t a function of the evil Svengali-like mind-warping powers of firearms, it’s a result of the evil warped minds of abusive scumbags.
Finally Christy lets fly with just a flat out lie:
Federal law, however, still allows large numbers of convicted domestic abusers to own guns.
Sorry hon, 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(9) specifically states:
(g) It shall be unlawful for any person …
(9) who has been convicted in any court of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence, to ship or transport in interstate or foreign commerce, or possess in or affecting commerce, any firearm or ammunition; or to receive any firearm or ammunition which has been shipped or transported in interstate or foreign commerce.
So unless you’re stretching the definition of “domestic abuser” all out of shape, that just ain’t so.
No, what we have here is a woman who, despite her training and mindset, didn’t protect herself from an abusive spouse and is in serious denial about the root causes of her injuries. She blames them on the firearm she failed to use properly, and is pushing for a law which, had it been in effect before her husband attacked her, would not have affected the outcome of her ordeal in the slightest.
Women are more likely to be shot by guns than defend themselves with guns because most women are scared to death of firearms, won’t own or train with one and won’t take responsibility for their own safety. They would rather be the victim.
Sorry, but there it is. Sometimes the truth hurts.
Wife is sort of as you described. Daughters are not. Overall, I agree with you.
This, a thousand times over.
And how many times more likely is the woman to be killed than the man in domestic violence situations not involving guns? I’d bet the ratio is the same if not higher.
Spoiler alert: men are better at violence.
Genetics don’t favor women.
A beefy wife-beater husband with a knife against an average sized wife is not going to end well for the wife.
If they both have firearms (even though she should be long gone from his reach), the chances are about 50-50.
FYI, stab wounds take a long time to kill if they don’t hit a vital organ or artery. Who do you think is going to be able to take more hits with a knife without being able to continue?
Exactly, which is why I choose to not only have a gun but know how to use it, have it in close proxmity and highly determined to use if needed for protection.
“For 20 years, my ex-husband Jim said he would kill me if I ever tried to leave him”
Epic fail – if someone hits you, they do not love you, they will do it again, 20 years was enough time to prepare to leave. Hope she does not have children, set a poor example for them if she does, likely someone set a poor example for her.
Yeah, TexGal, and one has to wonder how many times this professional fighter *kicked his ass* after he threatened her. When she saw the knife, she should have shot him, at least twice, then called 911. Instead she left her gun in his room? And did not leave? Judge me finds attempted suicide.
If a home invader ever kicks down my door at 3AM he had better hope the dog or I get to him before my wife does.
She can get all the rounds on the paper, but she has a WICKED flinch. And because “what does hubby, who has trained hundreds of soldiers how to shoot, know?” she won’t listen to me about how to fix it.
I swear, it’s like training an orangutan how to solve a Rubik’s cube. I’ll take PVT Scruffy any day.
Result > 90% chance of a crotch shot. (which, actually has a pretty good chance of immediate incapacitation (femoral artery/pelvic girdle))
Potential home invaders – you were warned.
Sounds like my wife when I take her to the range too 😀 Trying out a DA/SA pistol just made it more pronounced
Dry fire is the answer. And keeping the same sight picture all the way through the trigger squeeze. Hope yours listens.
DA/SA makes it worse because the trigger pull is inconsistent. She flinches on the heavy DA pull, then the lighter SA pull doesn’t matter.
Someone with a pronounced flinch usually shoots round 1 center mass then rounds 2+ 6-8 inches low.
Best way to help her see what she’s doing – put a laser on the firearm. She’ll see the dot move low every time she shoots.
Sounds like you need to get her some training from a professional trainer. That’s usually the solution when people don’t/won’t listen to an experienced family member.
I’m with Ralph on this one. She’s incompetent with a firearm, so she believes that no women should be able to use a firearm to protect themselves. I’ll leave it at that because I’d get banned for life for flaming this %&$#@. I guess 911 really must have worked for her, and the good guys arrived just in time to save the day.
In general, I agree. Then there are stories like my 60 year old housewife neighbor, who shot and killed a home invader as her husband was trying to talk him into leaving. “Son, you better get out of h–“BANG.
One of my mother’s friends took a shotgun to a neighbor’s dog that had killed her dog.
This is Texas.
Our nation’s domestic violence laws seem to operate on the belief that even minor cases of partner conflict should be brought to the attention of law enforcement personnel, claiming that reporting such incidents will prevent escalation of the conflict. (Note that overly-intrusive actions of law enforcement may have the opposite effect, contributing to a worsening of partner conflict.)
This belief gives rise to a number of policies and practices that promote false accusations:
Broad definitions of domestic “violence” – Civil definitions of domestic violence include ill-defined and non-violent actions such as causing “annoyance,” making your partner “afraid,” and engaging in “harassment.”
No need for evidence – Domestic violence service providers, law enforcement personnel, and prosecutors are all instructed to “always believe the victim,” even though the accuser has no evidence or proof of violence.
Victim advocates – Domestic violence programs hire “victim advocates” who coach persons with minor problems how to present and embellish their complaints to enhance their chances of getting a restraining order.
Incentives to make false allegations – Persons who are identified as “victims” are entitled to a broad range of services and legal benefits:
Sole use and possession of the residence
Child custody
Reimbursement for counseling, medical care, and even attorney’s fees
Priority in receiving Title VIII low-cost housing and eligibility for other welfare services
Biased training – Domestic violence laws fund the training of judges, prosecutors, and others. Such training programs openly encourage judges to “err on the side of caution,” rather than assure due process protections are met. Judicial seminars often promote misleading statistics that stereotype men as abusers and women as victims.
No-drop prosecution – When false accusers see the effects of their claim, they sometimes recant (disavow) their previous accusation. But prosecutors often reject accusers’ disavowal and pursue the case.
Prosecutor reluctance – Prosecutors are known to be resistant to charge perjurers with a criminal offense. So persons know they can make false accusations without fear of consequence.
In short, the system is so corrupted that false accusations of domestic violence are common place and probably greatly outnumber real cases of domestic violence. Gun control laws are bad laws designed to get votes, domestic violence laws are broken laws that promotes false accusations and designed to get votes, combine them and you have the anti’s wet dream come true. Any person can easily lie about you abusing them and your rights are pulled forever without any legal risk to the false accuser.
Yep; then many women complain that men don’t want to commit or get into a relationship. There might be a correlation.
The environment is so hostile to men with very little recourse if the woman is being mean or vindictive.
I’ve never had a bad break up; I’ve been able to be cordial with my ex’s; but there wasn’t kids involved or a lot of money tied up in a house or property. That can make things ugly; money does strange things to peoples ability to rationalize some very heinous behavior.
I’m not sure why anyone would listen to someone who’s only apparent skill is to beat up other women and who makes bad personal decisions in who she associates with.
Before I could react, he assaulted me, stabbing me and leaving me bleeding on the ground, despite my best attempts to fight back. He then stood at my feet, The gun seemed to be used just for the coup de grace. The main action work was with the knife. The gun was mostly irrelevant.
This comment from Ms. Martin is much better,
“I’m a woman who knows how to defend herself.”
Living (which includes sleeping) in a home with a person who has promised to kill you is not the choice of a person who knows how to defend oneself. In that environment the aggressor has a myriad of opportunities to poison, bludgeon, stab, or shoot the victim while sleeping or awake … all easy to accomplish with fatal consequences.
A person who knows how to defend themselves always ALWAYS keeps as much distance as possible between themselves and their attacker. Living (which includes sleeping) in the same home with the attacker is the exact opposite of keeping as much distance as possible. This woman’s experience is an epic failure of defending oneself.
her husband had a history of physically abusing her and had, for twenty years promised that he would kill her if she left him. So the night she told him she was leaving, why was she still in the house? Why was she alone with him? Stupid people in stupid places at stupid times.
It’s a sad fact that many, many domestic violence victims just refuse to face the facts until it’s too late, or nearly so.
Now she’s trying to shift blame, and the antis are trying to capitalize on it. I can’t help but wonder who initiated contact with her on this issue.
Most of the time, the so called victims are themselves violent persons seek abusive relationships over and over like addicts. Violent people like to shack up with other violent people. It is rare in domestic violence cases where the victim is completely innocent and that most DV cases are reciprocal violence between both partners in equal amounts. However the antis are pushing a false image of domestic violence of a helpless woman at the mercy of a violent man who is the sole perptrator of violence, but then they push false images of lots of things to get their way.
Or even years after, it seems.
Indiana Tom, just look at the title of her “commentary” — My Gun Didn’t Protect Me. What a twit. The gun doesn’t do the protecting. It’s the tool that we use to protect ourselves. She doesn’t get it and never will.
Yep – seems like a registered letter, sent from her lawyer’s office, would have been the way to go.
Anyway, her husband clearly had all the tools he needed to kill her without the gun. It was just used for sadistic effect.
“I told him I’d call the cops. After that he wouldn’t dare try to hurt me.” True, but it will have no effect at all on his trying to KILL you, since he would kinda figure the cops would get involved and doesn’t care.
Liberal Women are more likely to be shot by guns than defend themselves with guns because most liberal women are scared to death of firearms, won’t own or train with one and won’t take responsibility for their own safety. They would rather be the victim.
FIFY Ralph: I have met a great many women that are comfortable with guns and handle them better than some guys I know.
Jay1987, I agree with you about some women. Less than 25% of women own guns. Almost half of men do. So my statement stands about most women.
Hey, Ralph, what makes you think so? I have bought every gun in the house. Some are now my son’s, several are my wife’s. Where do you get your figures?
But… but… it was only in his hands because she allowed him to have it! I guess this is what they mean by your gun being more likely to be used against you in your home.
Sorry lady, don’t blame the gun, it still hasn’t achieved agency to help or hinder you of its own free will. If you had used it to stop the jackass it would have been helpful. If you had hidden it where jackass couldn’t find it you would have found it was neutral.
I swear some of these people think guns are like Sauron’s rings…
“For 20 years, my ex-husband Jim said he would kill me if I ever tried to leave him. On November 23, 2010 — the day I told him that I wanted a divorce —”
There’s your huge tactical mistake right there, lady. You don’t TELL him until the paperwork is filed and the restraining order is in place, and you “TELL” him by having your lawyer serve him with papers after you’ve skipped town while he was conveniently out of the house.
And Christy, with all due respect, if he hadn’t shot you and walked away, if he had decided to finish you off with the knife, you would have died that day. That gun saved your life in a sick, roundabout way.
What a looser.
And now, to feel better, Martin’s drinking and regurgitating the antis’ Kool Aid.
Harsh as it sounds, I think you may be on to something there. And oddly enough, she should be thanking whatever entity she cares to thank for such things that he had a gun. Otherwise, he would have continued with that knife, and there wouldn’t have been a mistake, she would be graveyard dead.
Absolutely; the later tidbit about the gunshot occurring 30 minutes later meant he was milling about making sure she stayed there and bled out. When he got the gun (or decided to try to finish her off), he shot her, and sure she was dead so he walked away to go clean up. That’s when she got the chance to bolt.
If it weren’t for him shooting her with that gun she most certainly would have just slowly drowned in her own blood. Her gun saved her life, ironically enough. She would have been a non-gun homicide victim instead.
It isn’t callous or cold-hearted. The truth never is.
What we have here is nothing but the truth, pure and distilled down to its very essence.
What she is is anti-woman, and she has only professionally fought other women. She is an out-and-out sexist; and a liar to boot. All else being equal (skill sets especially), she would still lose to a man in any straight-up fist fight. Her best bet was, and still is, the gun that she first of all failed to secure and second of all failed to have ready when she needed it.
That’s her fault, not ours.
Nothing that she or anyone else has ever experienced gives her any right to disempower her fellow women.
She is also anti-male since she supports sexist laws and wants to give women the right to arbitrarily take away 2A rights of any man they want. As most DV laws are written, the burden of proof is being thrown out and the simple word of the acuser is being taken without question, many times without the accused even being allowed to speak. True victims of domestic violence, find this to be deplorable as we all should. However you can see why the anti’s want to megre gun control with domestic violence laws to make it easier to disarm everyone.
This is my surprised face.
Just goes to show you that it’s actually these self-anointed, militant “Progressives” (READ: Regressives) on the left that are in fact the least tolerant, accepting, understanding, and educated among us; and the most ignorant, arrogant, haughty, and condescending. That’s always been the case, and there is not any incentive on their part to change that. Sexist, racist, anti-rights, anti-Humanist hoplophobes ALL.
+1, the Cretin pictured above is an essentially irresponsible and infantile person who needs to be locked up for her own protection.
Can we build a rubber room big enough to house all these Ninny Nincompoop’s? Hows about encasing the shoreline from Boston to DC, then flying in the ones from Chicago, Denver and the Left Coast?
I’m not trying to be rude and I don’t want to detract from what you’ve said as I agree with it, but why do you always type like this? I understand using italics or bold print to emphasize the importance of certain words, but reading your posts makes my eyes and brain hurt.
You know what, I just realized you’re William Shatner and you’re simply typing the way you talk. It all makes sense now.
Well, I had another anti spring that “women here are 11 times more likely to be shot” statistic on me the other day, I was caught a bit flat-footed. Then I started wondering where that number came from. Now I see it comes from another “Everytown” study–the same bunch makes a “school shooting” out of a drug deal gone bad at 2 AM a couple of blocks away from an empty community college campus. I don’t think they will ever learn, that crap catches up with them eventually.
It’s not really here nor there, but being a boxer, or any type of competitive fighter, often leaves a person very ill-prepared for a defensive situation. There are rules in the ring that don’t exist on the outside. I’ve seen amateur boxers (pretty good ones) temporarily crippled in bar fights, and all they can do is gasp that it was an illegal hit.
That’s not to discourage anyone from martial arts training or competitive fighting, but a person should know their limitations.
Oh, and Ms. Martin, to dispatch a person means kill. You were not an assassin, or else you’d probably be more fond of your firearms than to leave them where a known bad actor could access them before you. Or buy a pink one.
HEY! I’m thinking of a pink one, and the other day I saw a Sig looked like the slide was a purple mirror. Astonishing. Watch your denigration of future style, if it shoots straight it is good!
It’s a sad story that she relates about her continued abuse and attempted murder. This doesn’t negate the fact, however, that despite being a successful athlete in a martial art, competition doesn’t necessarily equate to reality. As a boxer, she only needs to be alert to her opponents signals inside the ring. She clearly missed all the telltale signs that were telegraphing an attack – including the fact that she was about to trigger one by her presence in the room with the message she was about to deliver.
There are a lot of “what if’s” here. What if she’d had the gun on her? What if (barring that) she’d had it locked up? As many of the commentators have noted, without the gun available, she more than likely would have just been stabbed some more – her husband had showed no hesitation in getting personal with his attack.
The other question is – if she had 30 minutes to lie there and gurgle before her husband came back and decided to shoot her, and THEN she made her escape after being shot, why didn’t she escape earlier?
That is a REALLY big detail IMO. I shook my head when I read that he abused her for 20 years and she stayed. I was frustrated that she seemed to think it was just fine to tell the man who threatened her with death if she left him that she was leaving while alone and unarmed. But, my jaw absolutely dropped when I read that when he stabbed her and walked away for 30 mins, that she just lay there instead of getting her gun and ventilating his ass…. I just don’t get it, I’ve been seriously hurt before and each time I fought like hell to survive. I all but ripped Death’s nipples off in the ICU after being hit by a semi. Does she just not care about her life?
Then she “escaped” while he was in the shower? What if he’d caught her? I would have at least attempted to empty that gun into his bloody ass before leaving. Not threatening, just blasting. Then there would be no more bullets, almost as good as no gun, huh?
Hey, a 46 year old boxer has to make a living. Maybe she can get some of Bloomberg’s 50 mill if she hones her story and goes on the circuit. Personally if I were her I’d keep quiet and work on survival instincts.
Always follow the money. How does she pay her bills/where in 2014 is she getting her income.
From Wikipedia without comment – Christy now resides with her partner Sherry Lusk and is continuing to train.
The sad part is that they needed testimony from a 46 year old woman who makes a living by being concussed and battered about the head repeatedly. Not exactly the most reliable witness, if you know what I mean.
Then, she says “I am still a gun owner…” and conveniently drops the hypocrite part. So what will she do if SHE ever gangs up on her current companion and HE takes out a TRO on HER? I could sell tickets to that.
Equality before the law can be painful.
20 years with the attempted murderer you say? AND a pro boxer? She may be THE most clueless women who ever lived. How on earth could she get a hearing from anyone?
“I made a career of dispatching would-be assailants.”
no you did not. you engaged in competitive sport.
With lots of rules and someone to stop the fight if it gets too crazy.
In a ring with four corners.
Exactly! Competitive fighters often know very little about real violence. It’s a lot different when there is no referee. I would get my ass kicked in an MMA match. But if some douche tried to MMA me into submission on the street, I would probably send him to a trauma room (and no, I don’t carry). At that point, he’s a threat to be neutralized, not a challenger. Perhaps the sports fighting, tough gal mentality interfered with Ms. Martin’s ability to choose a realistic survival plan.
With nowhere to hide a gun.
I think she might have been hit in the head a few times too many as well.
I had a former professional boxer in my last pistol class. He was big back in the 50s and early 60s.
That guy wasn’t right.
Super nice guy. But he wasn’t right.
John
I know whatcha mean. “Nobody ever laid a glove on me. Somebody answer da phone! SNAKES! SNAKES!”
The title gives away their entire mindset, “My Gun Didn’t Protect Me”. Um, no, no it didn’t. Guns are tools. YOU PROTECT YOURSELF using your tool. And the most important tool you possess is your mind. Which unfortunately, also, did not protect her. Very sad. She could also say that the police didn’t protect her. Neither did the federal or state government. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own protection. I agree with so many that said, “Why was she still there, if he told her for 20 years that he would kill her?” Did she think we wouldn’t go through with it? This could also be logged under “Inside the twisted mind of a gun grabber” She can’t accept that she made several very bad choices that nearly cost her her life.
Denial? Check
Delusional? Check
Victim Mentality? Check
Transference? Check
Pretty much the description of every anti-gun person, Male of female that I’ve encountered, most of which are liberal/progressive.
One or two in an insane asylum I could understand; but we are talking tens of millions of people; many that by any estimation are very intelligent and well educated.
Tens of millions that are by any estimation; severely out of touch with reality; maybe not clinically insane; but very dysfunctional. This would explain their dependence on big government; they know at some deep level they truly are unable to effectively manage their own lives; they truly do need some father/mother figure; the Nanny state to protect them, feed them, keep them safe.
Never Never land; a land filled with lost boys and girls where they never need to grow up.
I wish it were that easy. Generations of government propaganda slowly but surely moving the culture farther and farther into the arms of controlling tyrants in the name of “common sense” have removed any common sense on the subject of personal defense.
If women are more likely to be killed by guns because they aren’t aggressive with their use, why does Obama want all combat positions in our military open to women? Do guns kill women or are women just not killers themselves? We all know the answer. Most of us anyway.
Just a thought, why was she in the house when she dropped the big D word?
The “I will kill you if you leave me” comments could be considered a good indicator that he may try to, you know, kill you if you leave.
I have seen lots of glocks over the years, and have owned several, but can somebody tell me when they made pink ones? I see some now that are desert brown and seaweed green, but pink?
Gaston, tell me its not true.
A product called Duracoat.
http://www.glockforum.com/So-you-want-a-Pink-Glock.html
Probably a Ruger brand Glock.
People with the liberal pipe dream of no-one being allowed to have guns (except the most dangerous people: cops and government) don’t think that if that scenario actually happens, then everyone who is physically weaker than their assailant is automatically going to be victimized with no means of self defense.
They never think of this. But of course, the never think.
Just like a lot of other athletes… All muscle and no brains.
“As one of the most successful female boxers of all time, I made a career of dispatching would-be assailants.” – No, those aren’t actually assailants, those are your opponents in the game you’re both playing. None of them are going to kick you in the crotch and stick a thumb in your eye or hit you while your back is turned.
Or stab you, as in this case.
An anti gunner lies and exaggerates to push an anti gun agenda?!? WOW….. Mark your calendar because their streak continues.
She states her husband said if she ever tried to leave him, he would kill her. She tells him she’s leaving him, wants a divorce, then goes to sleep in the same house as a man who now wants to kill her, and somehow it’s the guns’ fault? Too many boxing matches made her stupid. Like so many domestic abuse cases, when were you gonna leave girl? When he kills you (or tries to..).
We had a friend who’s husband beat her and we helped her and helped her, and she went back and he beat her. We called the police, drove her to the station, she went back and is still back with him. We aren’t friends anymore. What will it take for some women to leave these idiot men, I will never know.
In my case the domestic abuser decided to leave because she was unhappy.
Now I’m stuck in limbo waiting for the inevitable divorce papers which will result in me getting well and truly financially gouged. 20 years of effort ending up with me moving back to parents.
Get a good lawyer.
Don’t know if you were actually abused or if it was sarcastic, but if so, you can probably settle and keep much more of your stuff.
I am beginning to understand why many married couples are still keeping their bank accounts and finances separate…
It may not have been physical abuse but there was definite psychological abuse. The only chore I didn’t do was some of the cooking. I did all the housework, outside work, took care of the dog, took our son to sport, did the washing which often took most of the weekend (and there was hell to pay if something wasn’t washed right AND ready for the next day), provided money for her spending, and took debt for her friends. She would tell her friends what a lazy a$$ I was, and her friends would berate me over this.
Nothing could be discussed like mature adults. Once I asked for help with the chores and her response was to grab our son, get in the car, and drive to her mother’s to say what an a$$hole I was. After this, any discussion of chores was a strict non-topic. As our son got older, even he noticed the imbalance in who did the work.
Anything fun was BANNED. Television was her show or no show. If I did anything remotely fun, there was punishment afterwards. Computer and video games, BANNED! Yard work was a grueling exercise of 6+ hours of work and I couldn’t come inside for a drink. If I dared to sit down to catch my breath, the yelling really started. It was safer to risk heatstroke than face the wrath. Guess who was inside in the air conditioning watching TV all day? And if shopping or buying take-away I didn’t get everything right, her response on a 1-10 scale was typically 13-15. Her only reaction was over-reaction.
She admitted she was trying to provoke an incident so I would assault her to give her the excuse to leave. I think through me she was punishing her father over what he did to her mother. Don’t try to make someone happy who doesn’t want to be happy. Being unhappy made her feel entitled to be a bully.
Your attorney should have warned you to not talk about this stuff until your divorce is settled. Posts like these can bite you in the ass, bud.
Play it safe and don’t potentially give her and her attorneys anything that can be used against you.
Be careful she doesn’t falsly accuse you of abuse. Women do that all too often to get a edge in divorce court or just to be vindictive. She doesn’t need proof either, just being a woman and her word is enough for the law to come down on you hard and nail you to the wall.
Domestic violence laws are as big of a sham as gun control laws, but they fool the sheeple enough to get votes.
I actually think it depends on where you live. Being in to gun rights, I have read and always believed DV laws were scary and prone to abuse.
I have a friend that really does have an asshole abuser of an ex. She’s gotten a restraining order, called the police and every other alphabet agency on this douche and nothing has happened to him. He breaks the restraining order everyday. The police won’t do anything about it. DV laws are a sham in more ways than you might think.
Something just doesn’t add up with her story…
She was stabbed, lay there dying for 30-minutes and only got up to flee after he shot her? What was she waiting for? Why didn’t she run away before he inflicted another injury – her body was obviously in better health before the bullet wound in her chest.
Was she trying to be a martyr and prove a point? (That her husband was a killer).
A lot of people who get stabbed or shot think “oooh… he got me” and just lay there waiting to die, assuming that’s all there is to do.
Perhaps her life flashed before her eyes, and then dollar signs appeared in them when she was provided with the vision that she, like Shannon, could be a destined recipient of Bloombucks?
In all seriousness, it was more than likely denial and a strong sense of being the helpless victim that kept her there, merely wishing it would end. When fight or flight kicks in and you have zero survival training, especially after being abused for 20 years, you sort of just take it. It was very likely a trained reaction; it wasn’t the first time she’d been abused, so “this too will pass.”
He inability to be an ACTUAL strong, independent woman is now the fault of men.
Yeah, yeah, why all the fabrication of imaginary reasons, as opposed to the obvious? After 40 years of Dem nonsense and TV imagination, she assumed that since she had been stabbed and was helpless and injured, the police and EMS were automagically on the way at top speed, sirens blaring, be there in just a second. “That’ll teach him!”. After a half-hour, he came back and shot her, probably giggling, and it struck her that if SHE did not do something to help herself, she was sure enough going to die.
I really hope somebody on the Senate Committee gets to read this post. (Asking they all read it is a pipe dream.)
So she wants more legislation barring domestic abusers from owning guns, which they already are, and to justify that she relates a story about the time her abuser used a gun against her which he did not own .
Did I miss something? Was this actually for a bill meant to disarm domestic violence victims?
She is an intentional victim with intentional victim mentality.
Twenty years of abuse and death threats. When she decides to tell him divorce, she is alone at her house unarmed with her own firearm unsecured. This is an epic fail based on entrained victimhood mentality.
She is an entrained victim using victim tactics. She refuses to take personal responsibility for her safety and her failed actions in the encounter with her husband. Now she spouts bulls*hit about the use of a gun being useless. Her tactics and victim psychology allowed all of it to happen that way.
Two different ways she could have handled this as a fighter versus victim: Cop present, lawyer serves him with divorce and restraining order (she has gotten her CHL prior) or she tells him alone with her gun in the living room armed where she can put a large table between him and her….when he presents the lethal threat, she burst fires him into the carpet, tile or hardwood floors. Hopefully he expires so his threat is permanently gone.
She is a victim still spouting victimhood tactics that help her avoid her own pain at being a victim for twenty years and failing to protect her own life correctly.
Not asking much, here, if she just shot him 2 or maybe 3 times, and then told me that it did not help her situation, I would be paying a whole lot more attention. Otherwise, she is an airhead who was asking for it.
Hmmm, this doesn’t change the epic fail(s) of the incident but does put a different spin on it if below is true:
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/12/pugilist_great_christy_martin.php
Man is a sick mofo. Doesn’t change MY attitude. I am nothing but healthy, if the bride had wanted to go that way, I’da asked to watch, not stabbed and shot.
I’d like to see Christy and my mother debate this. I posted this for her consideration:
“Sorry for your troubles, Christy, but guns do save lives when used properly and at the right time. I’m almost getting tired of trotting this old war story out to the anti-gunners, but I stopped my step-father from killing my mother when I was 12.
He was 6′-3″ and a lean, mean, psycho machine. She’s 5′-2″ and I was maybe 4′ tall. My single-shot 12 gauge shotgun poked in his back was enough to get him off her before he choked her out. It was also enough to keep him cornered so mom could grab a few things and get herself, my little brother and I out of the house.
He was later diagnosed as schizophrenic and admitted that he had plans to kill all 3 of us. Good times.
Make better choices, ladies, and teach your kids to do the same.”
Even if he had been prohibited from owning a firearm, she still would have been stabbed and the only thing that would have changed is that by a prohibited person living with her, she is now also barred from having a gun in the home.
Instead of going after a tool (no different than the kitchen knife he stabbed her with), what about going after the root cause of a culture that tolerates (read: silently condones) violence against women.
The toleration comes from the women. They refuse to prosecute, they refuse to leave, they refuse to shoot the asshole. Who is supposed to intervene, to protect those poor babies? There’s plenty of us willing, except for the fact we will be condemned by those very people we rescued. Result: don’t bother me, I don’t see you.
This is exactly how it works for the unthinking sheeple. They have one scenario play out that is an epic fail (no doubt through their own faults), and all of a sudden, its wrong for every scenario.
This woman had FAIL on almost every possible level, except maybe the fact that she actually owned a gun. Her written piece is obviously intended to play to other women who have the same level of FAIL plus not even owing a gun. This is the fear monger deliberately playing to the frightened sheep with the assistance of an editor who was smart enough to see the propaganda value of this twisted writing and publish it.
I don’t understand why she stayed with him so long once he threatened to kill her in the first place. Analytically, you hear that women stick with abusive men because of “self-esteem issues”, fear and denial (“he promised not to do it again”). Women want to be strong and assertive, but fall for the “sucker plays” of abusive men time and again. Obviously, Ms. Martin fits that mold perfectly and is all too willing to share her malaise with others who can relate and empathize. My Wife would call “BS” on Ms. Martin’s whole charade. One of the many reasons I love her so dearly.
Why stay for 20 years? From the above linked article:
“Martin, who worked as Christy’s publicist and trainer…”
Oh…well that makes living with someone who’s threatening to kill you if you leave perfectly acceptable then….or is that just a really sorry-ass excuse?
Followed the link to the story. 95% of the comments are in line with what’s being written here. maybe there is hope.
Like most DV cases, YEARS of abuse preceded the murder attempt.
Perhaps leaving your abuser, and I do mean leaving not telling them you intend to leave, might be a smarter plan?
Obviously it was the gun, not her shitty, self-destructive taste in men. This is just another chapter in a book entitled, “I Make Horrible Choices, So you Can’t Have Any Rights”.
Her whole story sounds off. At first she said that he stabbed her and had the gun in his pocket, then shot her. Later she says he stabbed her, then came back 30 min. later to shoot her? I would like to hear his side?
“My gun didn’t protect me”
I’ve taken her story as a invaluable lesson. I have formed little legs and arms out of pipe cleaners and taped them to the grips of my pistols. I also installed hearing aides and gave each gun a name (in German, to prevent unauthorized use) so that if I fail to have my gun on my person in a dire situation such as Christie’s I can call them to my side in an instant. If it proves viable I may sell s&w or glock my blueprints. I’ll donate some proceeds to victims of improper firearm training.
Sone peopme know how to fight in a bar, some people know how to fight in a competitive sport, some people know how to kill evil people. Make sure you train yourself to be the latter.
Not to shift gears too much, but has anyone considered that the “Lautenberg Act”, as applied to PRIOR CONVICTIONS, is in DIRECT VIOLATION of Article 1,Section 9, of the Constitution of the United States of America, which named section prohibits congress from passing “ex post facto”, or RETROACTIVE LAW? As such, Constitutionally, one cannot be penalized today for an offense enacted TODAY, which was legal YESTERDAY.
That is just your opinion. Osama, who is a constitutional scholar or something, has a pen and a phone. And no shame.
So, how did he get her gun? Sexy pink to boot!
Seems if you’re in an abusive relationship, getting a gun will help protect you. If follows that you don’t tell, don’t show, and in no way disclose to the abuser that you’re armed.
That he found her gun means it wasn’t secured (gasp! It could have jumped up and shot someone!)
To echo what others have pointed out, you’ve been abused for 20 years and tell hubby you’re divorcing him. Then you go to bed!?!?! Wouldn’t the smart thing be to call any of the well funded abused women groups and have them hide you? Better, clear out the bank account, grab the car, and move your close all before you tell him?
I’d bet, sometime before, she had waved that pink gun around, threatening HIM! So he knew to look for it.
“Since my gun didn’t protect me from almost being killed because I left it the room of the man who repeatedly said he’d kill me guns are useless for self-defense & should be prohibited”
“Since condoms didn’t protect me from being infected with a drug-resistant STD because I repeatedly didn’t use them condoms are useless for disease prevention & should be prohibited”
Funny how a simple change of object can reveal an apparently ‘reasonable’ position to be obvious idiocy.
627009 5926An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you need to write more on this matter, it may not be a taboo subject but usually individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers 325032
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