Who needs to defend their home and family with firearms when you can pick up a badass Bic Round Stic in any corner Walgreens?

[h/t Frank W.]

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70 COMMENTS

  1. So take cover, wait for the reload allowing the bad guy to kill or wound as many as he can, then attack? Got it.

    *Sarcasm Off**

    ETA: If in a school will any pen or pencil do or does it have to be a #2?

      • If I can take a standardized test AND fight a bad guy at the same then Im going to keep my dreams of becoming Batman

        • Does anyone else see something flawed in the notion that guns are evil but stabbing someone to death with a pen is A-OK?

        • That reminds me, didnt the Joker take out a dude with a pencil in the 2nd flick (wait, that would be Feinsteins dream…at least appearance wise)?

      • HB is the most common pencil hardness, however the government won’t allow civilians to purchase 4H or higher hardness graphite as it’s been shown to defeat level IIIA pencil-resistant vests and are therefore only useful as “cop killer” pencils.

        Also, we must ban mechanical pencils. No one needs that much pencil lead available without having to stop to refill. A standard yellow pencil with a tabletop sharpener is all anyone “needs”.

        …and I just had the mental image of a freelance artist’s house being raided by the ATF as they parade out 1000 unit cases of pencils that the guy bought just to get a bulk discount but that obviously makes him a nutjob to the media.

        When do Hornady Z-Max pencils come out? I don’t think the “zombie fad” pencil market has been saturated yet.

    • Good point, but you really only needed those last two letters to describe his theory…….#2. Nieve turds they be.

  2. I guess a rubber band attached to a pen tube w/ the ink cartridge as a missile is about the same thing as a gun really.

  4. A-holes like this are the reason Colorado’s gone WAY beyond any hope of redemption. Thinking of moving to Colorado for the legal marijuana, like someone dear to me? DON’T DO IT. Give it the WIDEST berth possible.

    It’s GONE. DEAD. FINIS. How truly sad and depressing.

      • Screw that. There’s a much more effective and final location, but I’m not going to mention it publicly. Those who know, already know, and those who do not, will not.

  6. I think he should lead by example, all his security where he is spewing this crap should be armed with pens and not guns.

  8. So when a couple thugs break into my house I should wait until they empty their magazines at me and my family and then charge them with a ball point pen?

    • You wait until he murders your children, then when he reloads, you commence the pen assault. I can see why they want to limit magazine capacities to 10 and below, just think about it. The more reloads give you more opportunities to charge with your pen! My pen doesn’t even need to reload! Thanks government

  10. There was no pen, three people who decided to act versus run like sheep stopped the shooter. If it was as easy as a pen, I am sure those school shootings could have all pretty easily been stopped, since if there is at least one place that will have a pen, it will be a school.

    This is just typical of the mindset. So devoid of logic I am amazed they can brush their teeth in the morning

    • Correct. There were no pens, but he was hit in the back of the head with a folding chair. Perhaps we should all be carrying those. The only reason they were able to stop him is due to the fact that he DROPPED his second mag when he tried to reload and someone picked it up.

    • > he was hit in the back of the head with a folding chair.
      > Perhaps we should all be carrying those.

      A folding chair is an assault chair.

      People should be restricted to regular chairs.

  11. Maybe someone could find this old gem? I remember quite a few years ago Bic ran a TV ad where they loaded a Bic stick pen into a rifle and fired it through a one-inch pine board, then showed that the pen would still write while still sticking through the board.
    Does this prove that the pen is in fact mightier than the sword?

  12. Good god. Didn’t “Raiders of the Lost Ark” teach this moron ANYthing? You don’t bring a knife (or ball point pen) to a gun fight!

    • I would be willing to place a very large bet that the number of bystanders killed or wounded by a CCW holder attempting to stop any mass shooting you can find would be significantly less than the number of people killed or wounded by the active shooter if no one attempted to stop him at all or if everyone just waited for the police to show up, set up their TOC, evaluate the situation, and come up with a plan to take down the shooter after they negotiate with him for an hour or two to release his hostages.
      Every person shot after an armed citizen fails to take action is collateral damage that could have been prevented.

    • It’s ironic that the gun grabbers are more than willing to state that CCW folks are delusional and “dream” about getting into a shootout in a theater or mall in order to engage an active shooter, yet at the same time they delusionally think of scenarios where CCW holders “shoot up” a place and kill lots of innocents in a crossfire. If imagination is the fuel for political agendas, the gun grabbers are epic visionaries…..

  15. Great idea. Think of all the money they can save in Colorado. Just issue ball point pens to the police. No more need for any of that expensive ammo stuff.

    • On an article about a police department pleading for more money to rearm with a higher caliber than 9mm I said if taxpayers really wanted to fund the day-to-day activities of police they should look at buying new pens because the police are there to fill out the paperwork after the incident and not to actually protect them. That takes it literally. But I don’t think that’s really the point here, the Senator just wanted to establish that the most a civilian should be armed with is a pen because after the Second Amendment is destroyed they’ll move on to the First.

  18. Interesting that it takes a 100+ cops – many with full-auto “assault” weapons with those evil “large cap mags”- to deal with one nut but I’m supposed to deal with any number of bad guys with a bic.

  19. In all fairness, I think that the senator was trying to make a point. No, not a pen point, you smart@sses. The point that he was trying to make is that he’s a wingnut and his voters are squib loads, and I think he made his point very well.

    • I’d say the point he was making is that he watches too many movies. This idiot think he’s Batman and can attack half a dozen armed men with his bare hands and win.

  20. Shows that poor Colorado is being Kaliforianised. Never let Hollywood scum live in your state. Shows to that liberal new CO Dems have to be the dumbest group of morons ever!!!

  21. Next on their list to ban will be assault pens. We wouldnt want those in the schools now would we, they promote violence.

  22. One little fact he left out: in the Gifford shooting, the gun malfunctioned during the reload and the idiot didn’t know how to fix it fast. That gave people time to jump him.

  23. In before a BAN on assault pens.

    And the SEALs are now using ball point pens, I’ll sell you a HK Ballpoint for $799.

    Wow, is anyone really following these fools?

  24. Now go ask those folks with the pens if they would have felt better equipped to handle the situation if they were armed with a firearm.

    • I especially like this part he wrote.

      I voted against this measure because I believe that the 2nd Amendment does not supersede our constitutional guarantee of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We need common sense gun safety laws that honor our core values and do not cater to the extreme gun agenda.

      What an idiot!

      • He is more of an idiot than even we suspect. He does not know the difference between the Consitution of the United States, which he has sworn an oath to defend, and the preamble to the Declaration of Independence!

        “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

        And then claims that the preamble of the Declaration of Independence takes precedence over the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights in the Consitution.

        Did this guy ever take a civics class? Shouldn’t some sort of minimum intelligence level be required to run for public office – it sure isn’t required to vote for these morons.

  26. Hel if you want to put the hurt on someone just do like we used to do. Open chambe of weapon, insert blank firing round, close chamber. Next insert 1 section of appropriately sized cleaning rod into the muzzle end of the barrel, take aim and fire!!!
    You would be surprised how deep in a tree you can bury a cleaning rod!! LOL!!
    Especially out of an M60 MG!

  28. Wait so I should have been using a pen for protection this whole time? Well iv got like 50 of them! Ill just wait until the bad guy has shot me 10 times then ill run and attack him in the second I have until he starts firing again and ill stab him. But wait… then I just killed a misunderstood criminal in the name of self defense… making me a criminal worthy of prison too.
    So no matter what you do you cant really win.
    Maybe we should arm the police with pens, that way if they cant reach the bad guy they can at least write his description before getting shot.

  29. Acting on the senator’s advice, I went to the range today, signed in with an Uzi and threw my pen at a Dirty Bird target. The results were not gratifying. I splattered ink everywhere, my membership was revoked and I blame it all on Sen. Babalage or whatever his name is.

    I guess it’s true. There is less oxygen at higher elevations.

  30. If you live around Denver, you know that you always have to roll up your car windows and set the A/C to ‘recirculate’ whenever you drive through Senator Ulabarri’s district of Commerce City. (We used to call it ‘Commerce Sh!tty.’)The stench is enough to make your eyes water on a warm day, and now we know where it comes from.

    Here’s his contact information:
    Colorado Senator Jesse Ulabarri
    200 E Colfax Room 339, Denver, CO 80203
    (303) 866-4857
    [email protected]

  31. My $0.02.

    Senator Ulbarri,

    I writing you regarding your blog comments regarding SB 13-009 and 13-062. I am disappointed that you voted against both measures. I reviewed your websites comments regarding these measures and endeavored to take from your website some better understanding of your position. To be honest, I like what I read regarding your personal journey, values, and commitment to representing your constituents.

    However I take issue with how your views expressed in your blog contradict your stated commitment to equal opportunity in the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. Senator Ulbarri I believe voting against these two measures undermines your constituents right to safety. The ability to protect oneself is a fundamental and primary right and value necessary to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. SB 13-009 would have further protected your constituents’ children by providing additional tools for our schools to utilize to provide a safe and secure environment. Why are the children of state senate district 21 not entitled to the greater equality of opportunity afforded by accessing a quality education enhanced by having additional armed school staff and teachers to protect them? Do you not see that the inequity in educational opportunities only grows greater when those that can afford to further protect their children do so while those that cannot become only a more apparent target of evil doers? If I had children attending school in your district, I would expect both of us to do everything in our powers to protect them. Where do your children go to school Senator Ulbarri? Are they not worth the additional protection.

    Your blog noted a fear of armed crowds engaging in uncontrolled gunfire and the consequences of friendly fire. Let’s be fair and acknowledge that while Congresswoman Gifford’s attacker (referencing you Senate committee comments in Jan ‘13) was tackled, it was because a concealed carrying citizen exercised judgment and constraint. As the ranks of concealed carrying citizens grows, please share with me the data that supports a causational relationship in the outbreak of reckless citizen shootouts? Given the low probability of such an occurrence, isn’t it worth it to place an additional armed adults between our children and evil doers if it will save even one more child? If not your child’s life, then the life of my child would definitely be worth it!

    You make the case on your blog that SB13-062 would be too onerous for businesses, but then paint the picture that Black Friday masses would result in more shootings and consequently you were compelled to not support SB13-062 because 2nd amendment rights do not trump a constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Senator Ulbarri, 2nd amendment rights are all that stands between a civil society and the ability to defend these rights from the evils of a tyrannical government, person, or body of people. Your approach to common sense gun control (in which you assume an unproven direct correlation between more control and an enhanced attainment of these constitutional rights) only serves to further deny myself and those for which I care fairness and an equal opportunity in protecting my life and the lives of others. You stately clearly in your personal statement that you believe this economy does not provide an equal footing for all. I’d challenge you Senator Ulbarri to explain how you would allow private enterprise to compel me to trade off my own right to self defense in order to engage in private commerce. The necessity of private citizens to engage in private commercial transactions is warranted by the simple economics a modern day division of labor. Consequently, I must engage private enterprise to earn both a living and acquire the daily necessities of life. Your opposition to SB13-062 subjects my life and safety to a profit optimizing model that cannot value my life as dearly as I do. If an enterprises chooses to not allow me to exercise my 2nd amendment right, then why should they be allowed to lower the bar for citizen safety? I may choose to vote the value of my safety and 2nd amendment rights, by conducting commerce elsewhere, but what of those less empowered? Is their only recourse then to forgo their rights and engage in necessary commerce at a higher risk of losing their life, liberty, property, and happiness? How is this most equitable for all? While I applaud our civil servants (both police, fire, and ems), their role is always to act secondarily. In any case of emergency or disturbance, the individuals involved are always the first responders. If private establishments will not allow me to be a responsible and prepared first responder, then why should they be allow to jeopardize my life and the lives of others by providing a minimum level of armed security economically profitable? The more equitable and fair shot at safety is to allow your constituents the power of choice: either conduct commerce where one can be responsible for herself or ensure that an enhanced level of safety is being provided. I for one always vote with my dollars, but not all in my family can do so? How is that fair for them?

    Senator Ulbarri, I believe we share a common experience of a challenged up-bringing, working hard to put oneself through school, and working hard to improve both our lives and the lives of others. However, I believe you can do the most good by first doing no harm. Please respect your constituents’ right to choose how to best protect their lives and the lives of their families.
    I hope your constituents hold you to your values of fairness and equal opportunity. In voting against CO SB13-009 and SB13-062, you’ve chosen to provide neither fairness nor opportunity to the citizens of Colorado State Senate district 21.

    Kind regards,

    John Z. M.

    Sent from Windows Mail

    • Well written, and well stated, sir. However, there was aposting here a few days ago to the to the effect that it was of no use “…to try to convince with a logical argument someone who has reached their conclusion illogically…”
      So an A+ for effort, but I’m afraid that it will have entertainment value only.

      • I’ll take the A for effort. I should be writing more. Probably true for many, but not necessarily most on here.

        J.M.

  34. The teachers at Sandy probably had pens./// At the first sign of trouble that asshat will go crying to the police for protection, Randy

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