From wect.com, we get word of some weekend Tar Heel tomfoolery: “Some quick thinking got a Wilmington man out of a tough situation early Saturday morning. Around 3 a.m. Saturday morning, the victim came home and noticed his front door was open. When he entered his home — ” Wait, what? The un-named dood rolls in at zero dark thirty, finds his front door open and…strolls in anyway? Hold on, it gets better . . .

Once inside, he found two intruders looking for easily pawnable property. Thinking fast, he did a little soft shoe.

The man pretended to be drunk long enough to get to his safe and pull out a gun. One suspect ran away and the victim held the other suspect at gunpoint outside his apartment. He then told the suspect to leave.

We’re not sure what Cape Fear Public Utility Authority is using to treat their water these days, but it appears be hampering the general level of cognition in the area. Locals may want to stock up on the bottled stuff for now.

[h/t Tim E.]

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25 COMMENTS

  2. this dgu reminds me of one of the stories in the most recent NRA magazine where the homeowner pretended to be blind until he was able to gain control of one of his firearms.

    • If you think that all California attorneys are scum sucking dirt bags, imagine what it takes to be refused admittance to the bar.

      • There’s a certain scumminess expected, but wholesale fabrication is frowned upon. You’re supposed to imply and elicit lies, not actually author them

        • So they apply a different level of scrutiny to the question “If you have to ask if it’s technicallya lie…?”

    • I knew Steve in college thru some friends. He was a cub reporter for the paper and wanted to see the seedy side of life so I drove him to N. Philly to watch cash only pharmacy sales. We called him “Mookie” since he wanted a street name. Sad what happened to him.

  7. Wilmington NC (New Hanover county NC) is a liberal controlled hotbed. Its nickname is “Wilmywood” because of the movie industry there, and its also a big college town. Throw in a huge gang problem because of the public housing the liberals created, an overpowering NAACP prescence that has neutered the police, tons of drugs on the streets, and you have the makings of Chicago on a small scale. The crime levels in Wilmington are so bad the police chief is playing games with the “definition” of crime, so they can pretend its getting better when its off the charts. When the police recently shot a gangbanger in the projects who was shooting at them, the entire “minority” neighborhood complained about “police brutality.”

    Google “Brian Berger NC” if you want to see how liberal Wilmington city politics works.

  9. I know you aren’t supposed to enter your recently violated house until the Po Po get there, but I feel like I would. I have a lot of stuff I like in my house, and I’m not all about giving it away.

    • If there’s anybody still inside your house, they have to come out. Post up and wait. Ambush them instead of the other way.

      • True enough, but that assumes that you know for a fact someone is inside. I’d rather not be waiting around for the cops to clear my own house.

        • Then clear your own house. I’ll stop by to console the grieving widow and help her make wise choices on how to spend the life insurance money.

    • Good luck getting to your optimized battle rifle, bro. I’d wait until they exited my house and hit them with my car instead. I told you I hit two deer in one go with my car. I’m lethal.

  10. An idiot.

    Even if he was already armed, going into an unknown situation, with an unknown number of actors, whose armed status is also unknown, is plainly stupid.

    To do so with the hopes of making it to your gun, which is locked in a safe, opening the safe, retrieving your gat and then subduing the unknown number of possibly armed assailants is unimaginably hopeful.
    By which I mean unimaginably brainless.

    EDIT: And NC is a generally free state, why the hell wasn’t he carrying when out and about at 3AM?

  11. Probably because he was actually drinking….

    Bad form to enter especially if you think the house may be occupied by someone who shouldn’t be there…..

    I shudder when I think about the risk I took the one time I accidentally left my back door open and went in to check it out. This was before i was a fire arm owner. i was young and dumb then but I still like to think there would be some evidence that people would are inside. Noise light etc.

  12. I remember one night when I worked at a small sheet metal plant. I was home and I got a call from the owner, who lived some distance away from the plant. He said that since I lived so close to the plant, that would I mind meeting the police down there, that the burglar alarm had gone off. I said sure, and grabbed my pistol.
    The police asked If I would accompany then as they went inside, to show them around, since I knew the place so well. I un-holstered my pistol, which the police had not yet noticed, and said lets go in. They at once told me to put the gun back in my car! I said fine, but you guys can go it alone, I’m going to stay where my gun is at. Turned out to be a false alarm.

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