(courtesy firegild.com)

Our salacious friends at Because Guns turned us on to Firegild Exclusive Firearms. In case the image above and the ones over at BG’s gallery [click here to view] aren’t self-explanatory, and I think they are, the company’s website tells us that their work is “Inspired by laissez-faire freedoms and the reckless pursuit of seeing beauty in the blending of forces, this boutique venue brings a celebration of blissful furor to firearms, from simple or sublime elegance, to dazzling brilliance.” So now you know: Firegild’s marketing prose is just as overwrought as their jewel-encrusted guns. Still, Polly Davis Ditch’s passion for obscure objects of bedazzled desire seems clear enough. As is her distaste for corporate America . . .

Firegild is not a corporation with rules and policies and politics and those sorts of things . . .

Firegild is a free spirit . . . an extension of myself. It is the bringing together of so many things that I love and the creation of a niche that allows me the freedom to love what I do, to express to the world well-deserved respect and appreciation for firearms, that so many of us have, and to create the ability to give back.

Firegild is a Celebration.

Firegild is my pursuit of the American Dream. A pursuit that I hope instills dreams of endless possibilities in my young adult children   . . . and all those who dare to dream.

I’m not sure if that niche includes Mexican drug lords. On one hand, “Firegild incorporates precious and semi-precious gems such as sapphires, garnets, rubies, emeralds and even diamonds to create one-of-a-kind works of art that reflect the owner’s personal style.” On the other hand, their firearms lack the gold incrustation and religious iconography that floats the drug lords’ ballistic boat.

I’m thinking the Robb Report reader is Firegild’s target market. I’ll call Robb next week and see what they make of this. Watch this space.

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43 COMMENTS

  2. Those sounds you hear in the distance are Dyspeptic Gunsmith’s screams of rage.

    Ugh… this is a level of fruity gaudiness that only Liberace would aspire to.

    • Well, not on these particular guns, actually.

      I’m not a fan of this, uh, particular artistic interpretation of firearms decoration… but I’m not going to scream about it.

      Now, if they did this to a gun that is irreplaceable (ie, no longer in production) and was a Nice Gun[tm] to begin with, then you would hear me howl.

      That said… the firearms shown look like the fell out of Liberace’s closet.

  4. “Inspired by laissez-faire freedoms and the reckless pursuit of seeing beauty in the blending of forces, this boutique venue brings a celebration of blissful furor to firearms, from simple or sublime elegance, to dazzling brilliance.”

    Has anyone considered burning the author at the stake?

    • It sounds like something that could have been said during the French Revolution so it might be more appropriate to say “Off with his head!”

      That said, whatever floats his boat. I have neither the tastes nor the funds for such…..”items” so thanks but no thanks.

  5. I see the “formula”

    Make the gun an ugly color, make sure it’s glossy then bedazzle the grip

  8. Customized pickup truck = ” ‘Murrica!”
    Customized handgun = “OMG, sacrilege! ”

    So checks my dose of group hypocrisy for the day. Why is it so bad that someone might wish to carry or own a gun that’s NOT a square , dark brick?

    • There are plenty of options for pretty guns. Chrome, case hardened bluing, satin/gloss nickel and SS, gold/silver inlays and engravings, polished brass, ivory/pearl/exotic-wood/etc grips. The list just goes on. These look like cans of spray paint were take to them before being attacked by a tween with a bedazzler. Like a pickup, spray paint finishes work a bit better with camo or “tactical” finishes, but look rediculous when trying to make a show truck.

    • Umm…what? I’m not sure people saying that something is hideous means that they’re saying it’s wrong for someone to do it. I think lots of things people have done to trucks, cars, houses, their bodies, etc are things I would have said “Maybe you should reconsider…” had they asked, but if that’s what floats their boat more power to them…as I’m sure there are things I like that others think I’m a moron for liking 🙂

    • That actually makes sense to me. Firearms last a long time, and can certainly be passed down for generations with proper care. Adding a new finish is certainly a well-travelled road. Some like FDE, some like Kryptic, some like white and gold. As long as the guns are responsibly used, I feel no need to judge someone for putting gems in the grip of a Beretta.

      • Good to see some common sense here on this subject. I like my tacit-cool guns and I like firearms that double as works of art. I would love to live in a land and time where we all wear our gorgeously kept customized side arms to neighborly and official functions.

  9. I have the same reaction to this I had when they started making pink guns. They obviously aren’t made for me, but maybe my 15 year old daughter would like one.

  10. I think this image really puts all the whining about special editions like the Blue Piranha Sig P229 in perspective.

  11. There was one comment when I went to check out the site. I think he sums up the general consensus here when he says, “What heterosexual male would carry one of these? These are almost too girly to be a girl gun?

    Eeek.”

    Of course, to each their own, I suppose.

  13. Love me some ‘MURICA!

    This is a good thing because of choice. Is it a viable business? Let Americans vote with their dollars.

    • “Is it a viable business? Let Americans vote with their dollars.”

      Something tells me countries south of the US is the target market.

  14. After stepping away for a minute or two I decided I really like them. I don’t mean I would like to have one I mean I like the idea of them. Like the pink guns I mentioned earlier they aren’t made for me they are made for people who look the Cabot 1911 or a browning citori and say “dear god that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen”. There’s no way we’re ever going to change that, but a gun like this might actually find its way into their possession. Result = pro gun person with bad taste rather than an anti with bad taste. I would take a gun owner with godawful taste over any anti any day.

  17. Because apparently throwing some paint and bedazzling on an LCR makes a markup of 200% “worth it”.

  18. I wonder if the death of Uday Hussein* had a significant effect on their bottom line.

    *For those who have forgotten, he had several gold plated guns.

    • Doubtful.

      The high turnover rate of the Mexican, Central and South American Narcos ensures a steady stream of new customers.

  20. You could probably walk one of these past the TSA because it just doesn’t look like a gun anymore.

    • All the TSA in my area are 250iddy pound Sha-nay-nay’s that would squeel like 7 yo girls if they saw that and take it as a bra gun.

      • JWM, can you translate ? What is an 250iddy and a Sha-nay-nay ? Figured out the 7 yo but not the rest. Not sure what language your are typing but don’t think it is common English.

        • He may be suffering from ‘Recent Grandchildren Exposure’, a debilitating syndrome.

          And brutally expensive when those cute little eyes look up and their voice quivers just a bit…

        • Two Fiddy is a weight class. Sha-nay-nay is a low speed, high drag female. Bra gun needs no translation.

          Geoff, I suffer from rge and puppy dog eyes every frickin’ day. Love it.

  21. Don’t see anything I would care to purchase except maybe the monogrammed grips. Other than that I don’t see the point. But, I am a Utilitarian. If it does not serve a specific purpose I probably won’t buy it. Don’t go in for bling on my guns. So, guessing, I am NOT their target market. LIke someone else commented: Time and the market will tell if this is a good idea or not.

  23. At $2,850, the folks that gun will appeal to probably can’t afford it. As an alternative, I’m purchasing 100 (slightly used) Lorcin’s, spray painting them gold and sprinkling them with glitter. I’m gonna be rich.

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