FL Woman Arrested For Squirt Gun “Assault”

1. Yeah, but the makeup sex. I married crazy the first time. The sex with crazy is outstanding. But sooner or later you have to sleep. Anybody remember “Play Misty For Me.”?

   • So you married a bunny-boiler? You have my sympathies, man. My last one was a thief, but at least she didn’t try to cook my cats.

     • I had an chick 12 yrs my senior for several months. She would wake me up on the hour for head, let me nut and go back to sleep. 12x in 12 hrs once on a saturday. this was her sadistic way of having control . . . . I was just sore. But she would screw anywhere (even her office at a major company during lunch) and anytime (read the 12 hr comment). When we fought, she would come over with a bottle of wine, a gift for me (like cufflinks or cigars), and we would screw repeatedly. yeah, psycho is fun but . . . .

2. Was it an ordinary water pistol or a fully automatic water assault weapon?

   • I heard it was one of those awful “supper soakers”. I can’t believe they haven’t banned those. Hasbro is a den of monsters.

     • Seriously, 2 and even 3 liter make for some pretty big
       magazine assault clips. And what about hoses? They’d
       be like belt fed horrors of mass wetting.

   • Maybe it was an oozinator/squritgun over/under?
     

     • Holy crap, that is actually real super soaker! What the hell was Hasbro thinking? Who the hell approved that?

   • This was Florida, ocean all around. It was most likely semi-automatic, a salt-water weapon.

     • Heh. 🙂

3. Was there a “thing that goes up?”

   • Please, leave me out of it.

4. Was it a high capacity assault water pistol with the thing that goes up?

5. Wasn’t the first actual ‘assault’ him hitting her with the pillow? Why didn’t they give her a towel and a ride to the hospital to get checked out and throw his ass in jail. If she squirted him with bodily fluids, and it wasn’t time for a golden shower then maybe she assaulted him. But water? Really?

   • Maybe it was hard water.

     • aaaaannnnd there it is…!!

       • Get the hook!

6. Maybe the “squirt gun” was actually her penis.

7. Since this is misdemeanor domestic violence, will the Lautensquirt amendment keep her from ever owning another squirt gun?

   • She’s restricted to water ballons for the rest of her life.

     • That would be a wet destructive devise and her pussy boyfriend could not stand such brutality.

8. This may be a misdemeanor but it could get her on the NICS prohibited list at the Fed level and at the very least put her at odds on the Form 4473.

   Here is the local story.

   http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/region_st_lucie_county/port_st_lucie/giovanna-borge-woman-jailed-in-squirt-gun-attack-in-port-st-lucie

9. Shannon in a wet t-shirt. I think I just got a chubby.

   • Holy crap
     Fer Pete’s sake. I’m laughing my arse off!

   • Dirk, I think that Rosie O’Donnell in a wet t-shirt would give you a chubby.

     • Even pigs have standards. I like smug looking rich milfs with wimpy older hubbies at home (read: cuckold)

       • Then why aren’t you chasing Maddow too??

   • Thank you so much for riding this into the ground, resurrecting it, and then riding it into the ground again. You have no idea how much it makes me laugh! (No sarcasm. I’m completely serious. Thank you.)

10. Maybe the police know something we don’t? in which case it might be justice served after all? Either that or they’re just a bunch of sexist pigs, eh?

    I dated a crazy chick once. Crazy and Vietnamese, in fact. She just might have been VC in another life. Just because they don’t always wear black pajamas doesn’t mean you might not wake up with your Ka-Bar sticking out of your chest.

    Tom

    • “He woke up dead!”

      “How can a man wake up dead?”

      “When he went to sleep, he was alive. When he woke up, he was dead!”

    • wanna share her phone #?

      • Hell no, Dirk.

        Because, in what had to be the ultimate in irony, Sprint gave me HER old number when I changed it. Fortunately she never got the idea of dialing it. (btw, I’ve since dumped Sprint and gone StraightTalk – not ever looking back)

        And more to the point – last I heard, she lives in metro St. Louis.

        I think that’s close enough, don’t you?

        Tom

        • Ok give me a name. I can look her up. 🙂 I will just use your name as an introduction.

11. “Domestic violence is a serious business even when it involves pillows and a squirt gun. And a paper bag. ”

    NO IT ISN’T, because there was no violence. This was a minor domestic ARGUMENT. Maybe even a major argument, but there was no assault.

    If I want to get violent, I’m not going to pick up a PILLOW, or squirt water on someone with a squirt gun. Get real.

    • Slow day at the cop house. No other shootings, so they make do.

12. Over a water pistol and a gallon of water!?

13. This is by far the easiest step to take, but for some reason it is the hardest for a lot of guys. Let’s face it, we’re men, and most of us have way too much pride. You definitely have to check your ego at the door when you have that conversation with your girl which starts out, Hey baby, I know when we’re in bed together, I’m not satisfying you the way I should be. Tell me what I’m doing wrong and what you would like me to do to make the experience more pleasurable for you. That is not an easy thing for most guys to look a woman in the eye and say, but you should. Why? Because more often than you would think, she’ll give you a very cut and dry answer that is easy to put into practice. She could say something as simple as it would turn her on more if you talked dirty to her. There you go. Problem solved! Or maybe there’s a position she wants to try because she knows it would set her off, she’s just been too shy to ask you. Whatever it is, give her the chance to tell you!

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