“Pretty much every book, movie, or TV show that has imagined the existence of time machines has come to the conclusion that they’re a bad idea: tools for the very highly trained at best, catastrophic mistakes at worst,” gizmodo.com‘s Joe Brown [above] writes. “Time machines are a technology that the greater public is simply not mature enough to use properly. Tell me why guns are any different.” Because they’re safe? In fact, I just pulled this dusty little ditty off the NRA-ILA website using something called the Internet (now available to the average Joe) Google searching the term “firearm safety statistics” . . .

The firearm accident death rate is at an all-time annual low, 0.2 per 100,000 population, down 94% since the all-time high in 1904. Since 1930, the annual number of such deaths has decreased 80%, to an all-time low, while the U.S. population has more than doubled and the number of firearms has quintupled. Among children, such deaths have decreased 90% since 1975. Today, the odds are more than a million to one, against a child in the U.S. dying in a firearm accident.

Firearms are involved in 0.5% of accidental deaths nationally, compared to motor vehicles (37%), poisoning (22%), falls (17%), suffocation (5%), drowning (2.9%), fires (2.5%), medical mistakes (1.7%), environmental factors (1.3%), and pedal cycles (0.7%). Among children: motor vehicles (41%), suffocation (21%), drowning (15%), fires (8%), pedal cycles (2%), poisoning (2%), falls (1.9%), environmental factors (1.5%), firearms (1.1%) and medical mistakes (1%).

The net offers plenty of raw and crunchy data establishing firearms’ absolute and relative safety. But never mind facts. Joe reckons . . .

Too many people are dying. Colorado. 34th Street. What’s next? How many people have to literally bleed to death in our streets before we realize that easy access to a tool that any unskilled person can use to snatch a life out of existence is too much responsibility for humans?

Would you sell a death ray at Walmart, requiring only a driver’s license and a cursory background check that only checks to see if someone’s gotten caught doing something terrible? No, that’d be crazy. Would you give a 16 year-old a time machine? Of course not. Fortunately, we don’t have to deal with these decisions (yet?), because those technologies are science fiction. Unfortunately, guns are real. And for some reason, we’re not willing to admit that, even though they’ve been around a while, they are too advanced for humans to use safely.

In the comments below the Mother of All Condescending Anti-Liberty Anti-Gun Rants Joe Brown reveals that he has touched an actual gun. Owned one too.

Yes, I have owned a firearm. I owned a Bersa Thunder .45 and it was totally awesome to shoot at the range. I got rid of it when I moved to NYC because they are illegal as all getout here. I shot rifles growing up. I go trap shooting on my birthday sometimes. Here’s the thing: I *like* guns. They’re fun and seductive. But they’re just too dangerous for some people, and that puts the rest of us in a really bad position.

By the same token, as a Holocaust survivor’s son and a strict Constitutionalist (just ask my kids), I think writing that guns are bad poses a danger to society. And that puts me in a really bad position. Oh wait. No it doesn’t. Never mind.

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39 COMMENTS

  1. Tell me why guns are any different.

    Because they’re the 19th century version of a rock tied to a stick, you blithering idiot.

    Guns are tools. Very useful tools to do certain things. See also: Hammers, torque wrenches, both capable of killing someone as well.

  2. i want a wal mart ray gun. sarcasm off. just another tool knocking my tools. we all know what opinions are like, don’t we boys and girls.

  3. To point out the obvious, time machines are fictional and for a variety reasons both physical and geeky it will likely remain so.

    Time machines in stories are given characteristics by their author to create drama. So if a time travel story makes you ponder free well, good.

    But guns are real, and constrained by the limits of the real world (except in movies). They model each other poorly.

  4. Typical argument of “I’m start but everybody else is an idiot that can’t be trusted”

  5. Another day, another anti projecting his own subconscious realization that he can’t be trusted with an object that demands responsibility, so neither can anyone else.

    I wonder, statistically, how many people die just from handling these “incredibly advanced” objects as opposed to, say, cars. Which are even more advanced.

    Fvck him and his projection. Too bad this pit stain on the dignity of humanity didn’t look down the barrel of these guns he supposedly owned and pulled the trigger.

  6. What a hypocrite.

    ” I have owned a firearm. I owned a Bersa Thunder .45 and it was totally awesome to shoot at the range. I got rid of it when I moved to NYC because they are illegal as all getout here. I shot rifles growing up. I go trap shooting on my birthday sometimes. Here’s the thing: I *like* guns. They’re fun and seductive. But they’re just too dangerous for some people, and that puts the rest of us in a really bad position.”

    He’d still have his cannon if he hadn’t moved to Bloomerlland. It’s those “some people,” less enlightened, bitter clingers probably, that shouldn’t have them.

    I just checked out this “gizmo” site. Looks to be about as deep as a cookie pan. I’m sure they’re able to hire the best of the best to do whatever the hell it is they’re doing.

  8. Mr. Brown was close … and as they say “close only counts in horse shoes and grenades”. People are dangerous. People have used all manner off objects to kill people — both intentionally and accidentally — throughout history. A firearm is just one of a long list of objects.

    Let us not forget that the overwhelming majority of citizens who own firearms are safe. Of the 80 million or so citizens who own firearms, how many in a given year accidentally shoot someone? The answer is a tiny fraction of a percent … in the 0.00001% range. My conclusion, based on those facts, are that citizens who firearms are quite safe.

    By definition violent criminals are not safe. I sure wish people like Mr. Brown would focus their attention on to handle violent criminals.

  9. I do believe that if one were to walk down the street, see someone they wanted to kill, got as close as they needed to be, and shot them dead, they had the skills necessary to do what they intended. The problem isn’t untrained masses, it’s evil people doing evil things.

    Pick your favorite derogatory term, call this guy one, and then apologize to all the people who actually are one because this guy is a disgrace to them, too.

  10. There is this type of liquid, it comes in various forms that people like to imbibe. Unfortunately, it can have many negative effects. True, it can have positive effects in the short term but they often lead to negative effects in the end. One such situation has been termed, “Beer goggles”. Bless their hearts, some people just aren’t capable of handling their liquor. To be safe for all, we should ban alcohol. As a species we just haven’t evolved enough to make wise decisions regarding this substance.

    Perhaps Joe would like to come to Oregon where the Federal ID check/purchase limits just wasn’t enough for sudafed cold meds, the legislature thought we needed a doc’s permission slip. Oh, they supposedly have cut down on the local meth labs but meth is still out there and the price is apparently quite affordable. It costs me double the cash and extra time to get cold medicine now.

    • Actually making medicines like sudafed illegal has caused the Mexican cartels to get involved in Meth, making it cheaper and easier to get, causing more problems than some scumbag making drugs in his kitchen for personal use and causing a more widespread use!

  11. I’ll tell you what, dumba$$, you show me a time machine. Go on, I’ll wait. That’s right, I didn’t think so. If you’re going to argue that time machines and guns are the same thing, even in regards to danger and personal responsibility, then you’re too stupid to understand my logic anyways.

    On an unrelated note, I had to get rid of my collection of canned albino unicorn farts because they were too dangerous to keep, and served no legitimate purchase….

  12. If that’s a picture of Joe, I can understand how a gun might be “too advanced” for him to use safety, but normal humans can use them quite safety with a few minutes of instructions. How complicated are the Four Rules, anyway? It’s pretty plain language, and the concepts are not difficult.

  14. “Too many people are dying. Colorado. 34th Street. What’s next? How many people have to literally bleed to death in our streets before we realize that easy access to a tool that any unskilled person can use to snatch a life out of existence is too much responsibility for humans?”

    Im preaching to the choir here…

    What about car accidents? Drugs? Some diseases? The easiest tools to list would be a car, needle (too many other ways to list), fork, cigarette, any alcohol,etc…

    “Would you sell a death ray at Walmart, requiring only a driver’s license and a cursory background check that only checks to see if someone’s gotten caught doing something terrible? No, that’d be crazy. Would you give a 16 year-old a time machine? Of course not. Fortunately, we don’t have to deal with these decisions (yet?), because those technologies are science fiction. Unfortunately, guns are real. And for some reason, we’re not willing to admit that, even though they’ve been around a while, they are too advanced for humans to use safely.”

    But yet we issue driver licenses to 16 year olds by answering 25 questions and parallel park…easier to get this tool to unwillingly kill more than guns do.. douche

  15. What a tissue of foolishness. Let’s compare time machines to guns:

    Time machines: Current speculation suggests that if time machines exist, they would end up dropping the user into another universe. But what if they allowed movement back and forth in our universe and timeline? Such a device would play havoc with the fabric of causality. In levels of technology, they’re far above nuclear weapons in their potential for harm.

    Guns: These devices don’t threaten the structure of reality. For the most part, they work one-on-one, and even an honest-to-Odin machine gun is limited in what it can do. There are also many ways to use a firearm that harms no one.

    What we see here is a probable case of jealousy. This knucklehead can’t trust himself with something, so he believes that all of us must give that thing up too. That’s basic psychology. What I don’t understand is why magazines are hiring idiots these days. But just because he can’t be trusted with freedom of expression doesn’t mean that I want to ban the same.

  16. I’d love a phaser (it’s not a death ray , you need to watch more star trek). I could save a ton of money on ammo and hopefully it wouldn’t blow a hole in the back stop at the range (they make us pay if we damage the range).

  19. That’s the best example of fantastically combined False Equivalency and Slippery Slope logical fallacies ever.

  22. Earlier today I deleted that website because of this article. I read it everyday but now that I have seen two anti-gun article’s no more. I’m not happy about it because it was a great website.

  23. Cars kill more people than guns… Ban. Alcohol kills more… Ban. Cigarettes kill more… Ban. When will these people see the lunacy of their arguments? Gun free zones kill more people… Ouch

  24. Whats dangerous is the Internet not guns. How many impressionable young teenagers, boys and girls, have lost they’re lives or a very big piece of they’re mental status getting persuaded to meet some creep they talked to on the internet. Whats dangerous is cell phones, how many families have lost they’re loved ones cause some idiot was reading or sending a text while they were driving. Whats dangerous is alcohol and drugs, how many people lost they’re lives to a drunk or high driver. And by the way, if some idiot has it in they’re mindset to harm, maim, or kill, they’re going to do it anyway, with what ever they can get a hold of whether it be a knife, hatchet, machete, baseball bat, poison, rock, or any other implement.
    And you know a lot of people could have actually saved they’re or some others lives if they carried a gun, from a burglar, rapist, kidnapper, murderer, or some crazy person. If someone capable enough was carrying a firearm on them, when these shootings take place, it could have been possible to prevent the loss of life when some idiot decides he wants to hurt people. Another thing is if it wasn’t for hunting rifles and pistols a lot of these people that liven in the back country would starve to death, cause they have no other way to put food on the table. If they outlaw firearms, it would be just like Ireland, Australia, England or where ever they banned firearms, the CRIMINALS WOULD STILL BE ABLE TO GET GUNS, while the rest of the honest to God citizens would be defenseless. There isn’t enough law enforcement employees to defend people. Another thing is what if you was out hiking in the mountains or some place where they have cougars, wolves, grizzlies, weirdos, etc., a person must carry a firearm in these places, because a knife, pepper spray, rock, or a stick is not going to fend off an attack from one of these creatures. No a gun shouldn’t be in the hands of an imbecile, yet neither a pencil, pen, cell phone, booze, drug pipe, or a keyboard. I hope you enjoy reading this rant. Goodbye.

  25. Cars kill more people than guns… Ban. Alcohol kills more… Ban. Cigarettes kill more… Ban. When will these people see the lunacy of their arguments?

  26. “The physical body IS a time machine.
    At birth, one emerges as a presence in form into an ongoing chronology of events and circumstances relative to this particular, so-called, physical realm. The duration as measured in years is currently 120 or less.”

    “Given that intentionally or otherwise, people do harm to themselves and others by various means and in a variety of manners, and most always hands and feet are in some way involved — the unarguable conclusion is that possession of a physical body is way too dangerous for people.”

    “Tools? Any object, implement, device or machine which can be utilized by a disabled woman in a wheelchair to defend herself against a two-legged predator intent on doing her harm obviously has no place in civilized society, and therefore must be banned immediately.”
    “Do No Harm / Successfully Defend”
    Gw

  27. Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40-watt range please………….oh wait……just like time machines, those aren’t real. Duh!!!!!!!

  29. Unfortunately, fire, gravity, bodies of water, sharp objects, blunt objects, alcohol, reproductive organs, automobiles and power tools are real. And for some reason, we’re not willing to admit that, even though they’ve been around a while, they are too advanced for humans to use safely.

  33. Fast cars are “fun and seductive. But they’re just too dangerous for some people, and that puts the rest of us in a really bad position.”

  34. I did notice this statement: “They’re fun and seductive. But they’re just too dangerous for SOME people, and that puts the rest of us in a really bad position.”

    I agree. SOME people should not even be left loose in the streets!
    However, too bad there isn’t some kind of test to identify those types…

Comments are closed.