Gun Joke of the Day: Funny Since 1911 Edition

January 16, 2014

A guy walks into a crowded bar, waving his 1911. “Who in here has been screwing my wife?” he demands. A voice from the back of the bar yells back. “You need more ammo.” [h/t Chris V]

Please mail gun jokes to guntruth@me with GUN JOKE (all caps) in subject bar.

45 COMMENTS

Tom in Oregon January 16, 2014 At 18:02

Hahahahaha

I’ve got a pretty good one. Have to wait till after work.
Danny January 16, 2014 At 18:05

Witty
Vhyrus January 16, 2014 At 18:06

Punch line should have been “You should have brought a Glock.”
- RockOnHellChild January 16, 2014 At 18:10
  
  Just not the 36…
  - Dracon1201 January 16, 2014 At 18:35
    
    Another downside to the 42.
Jeff the Griz January 16, 2014 At 18:06

Nice, Hope to see this as a regular feature to add some variety to the mix.
Matt in FL January 16, 2014 At 18:07

I laughed.
Dirk Diggler January 16, 2014 At 18:10

If Shannon Watts’ husband John is mad, he should have rolled on Gracie Mansion in NYC before the end of December
- ropingdown January 16, 2014 At 19:05
  
  Acting on hunch, John barges into a local pub. Only six customers are seated at the bar. He shouts “OK, who in here has been screwing my wife?” The bar-tender carefully looked at the customers, then John. Finally he answers, “well, that would be seven of us.”
  - Felix January 16, 2014 At 23:31
    
    Ah …. not eight. I see.
  - Gunr, from Oregon January 17, 2014 At 13:48
    
    As long as we are on bartender jokes, do you know the difference between a bartender and a Proctologist?
    A Proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time!
    - jwm January 17, 2014 At 13:59
      
      You know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste.
      - Rich Grise January 17, 2014 At 15:43
        
        A doctor has some paperwork to sign, so he reaches up to his shirt pocket, but pulls out a rectal thermometer. “Dammit! Some asshole’s got my pen!”
MiketheHopsFarmer January 16, 2014 At 18:12

I’m not a 1911 fanboy, but I did buy a Para GI LTC for the 100th anniversary in 2011. It shoots like a dream and even my dad says it reminds him of his service days (’69-’72) That said, that’s a good looking gun in the post. Can’t read what it is on my phone though, can someone help me out? What make/model/price is that?
- Dave Curry January 16, 2014 At 18:29
  
  Colt Gold Cup National Match.
- CarlosT January 16, 2014 At 18:30
  
  Series 80 Colt Gold Cup National Match, according to the slide. I have no idea what it costs.
- MiketheHopsFarmer January 16, 2014 At 18:37
  
  Thanks guys.
- Rich Grise January 16, 2014 At 22:08
  
  I’m wondering if there’s a name for that color scheme, like “Canadian Marching Band” or Metrosexual.”
  - Tim January 26, 2014 At 13:42
    
    What’s wrong with nickel?
CarlosT January 16, 2014 At 18:14

Maybe in addition to the weekly caption contest, you can add a weekly joke thread?
BT in Afghan January 16, 2014 At 18:18

that wasn’t funny when I walked into the bar and it still isn’t funny
- Tom in Oregon January 16, 2014 At 19:40
  
  Now ^that^ is even funnier!
Ron Oglesby January 16, 2014 At 18:19

ok. thats funny. I havent heard that.
dwb January 16, 2014 At 18:27

I laughed.
jwm January 16, 2014 At 18:42

She walked into the bar with a pair of 44’s. Then she pulled a gun from her purse.
- S.CROCK January 16, 2014 At 18:49
  
  hahahahaha that one took me a second. that was a good one.
Scholarcat January 16, 2014 At 18:50

I don’t get it.

Edit: Took me a second. Yeah, funny.
- vioshi January 16, 2014 At 23:05
  
  It took me a few seconds too.
Thomas Pain January 16, 2014 At 19:11

yeah, but once one person gets hit with a .45, they’ll all die from hydraulic shock.
- percynjpn January 16, 2014 At 20:23
  
  Ha!
CA.Ben January 16, 2014 At 19:14

I laughed. This needs to become a regular thing.
Scythian Arrows January 16, 2014 At 19:14

So, a couple of Wehrmacht walk into a BAR…
- Taylor Tx January 16, 2014 At 19:41
  
  So this guy Gerry walks into a BAR, the end 🙂
- Gunr, from Oregon January 17, 2014 At 15:02
  
  and said to the pretty young bartender, would you like to see my trouser “Mauser”
tj January 16, 2014 At 19:34

I was gonna tell a losing joke but its to long
percynjpn January 16, 2014 At 20:23

That was pretty good.
Patrick January 16, 2014 At 22:48

Can someone please explain this joke?
No, I’m not trolling; I’m really this stupid.
- jwm January 16, 2014 At 22:53
  
  It’s a crowded bar, lots of guys. If he’s going to shoot all the guys that did his wife he’ll need more ammo cause they’ve all done his wife.
  - Matt in FL January 16, 2014 At 22:56
    
    Specifically, he’s carrying a 1911, so he’s only got 7+1 (possibly 8+1).
    - Patrick January 16, 2014 At 23:28
      
      Oh wow. I can’t believe that went over me. I get the whole “low capacity 1911” thing, but without the rest the joke isn’t the same.
      Thanks
    - Troutbum5 January 17, 2014 At 11:11
      
      Could be a Para Ordnance P14.
- Rich Grise January 17, 2014 At 02:15
  
  Patrick, don’t feel like the Lone Stranger. I didn’t get it either until I put together a couple of other references in about a dozen other posts. 🙂
  
  The world’s wost joke:
  Why do cows wear bells?
  Answer: Because their horns don’t work.
B K January 17, 2014 At 14:37

Short joke
An irish guy walks past a bar……
- Gunr, from Oregon January 17, 2014 At 15:05
  
  That never happened
- Tim January 26, 2014 At 13:45
  
  Ah Mr Dangerfield 🙂