She asked me why I carry a gun in the house. I said, “because of the robots.” She laughed. I laughed. The microwave laughed. I shot the microwave. Alexa automatically ordered me a new one.

 

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

44 COMMENTS

  1. Hate to tell ya! You’re seeing the future today.

    I do think some of the scan computers have more personality than some modern clerks, though.

    Brave New World…

  5. My wife is pushing for a new (and larger) TV. But now all of them are “smart” TVs, so that you can “interact” with them. They have microphones that are always on when the TV is on (and maybe when it is not). Plus they have cameras facing out to see you during those “interactions.” They “report back” (to some faceless computer somewhere in the multiverse) what your viewing habits are.

    Yes, friends, Big Brother and the Thought Police are Watching. Yet we, like sheep to the slaughter, invite them into our homes.

      • Exactly this. It’s what the Haz household did a few years ago. Simple PC connected to a 50″ monitor to stream our shows. We have a dedicated PC loaded with the appropriate anti-virus software for our finances and purchases, and one in the living room used *only* for streaming.

    • Why I still use a 40″ dumb TV and most of my viewing is streamed off my PC to the WD media player box.

    • “Plus they have cameras facing out to see you during those “interactions.””

      I use 1-inch round black dot stickers bought at the local Office Max in packs of several hundred as targets for the range.

      When my newest laptop came with a camera above the screen, I stuck one of those stickers over the lens hole.

      Problem solved… 🙂

      • work ‘puter box has tape all over everything. eavesdroppers.
        still rockin’ a 50″ dumb tele.
        looks like an upgrade would be a monitor…

    • That’s why when I have sex with my pet Boa constrictor I always do it in front of the TV.

  6. Fuck a robot. Shoot a robot in the head too. What could it hurt? Just me . I shoot everything I distrust.

    • Best to aim center mass. Putting the robot’s CPU in the head is not a good idea. Best placed in the chest for more protection.

      • them things. you can trust them to annoy, esp. in sept. on their aggressive last calorie foraging gasp.
        saw a great chawbacco spitshot take one down. next step was to stomp. found out their pals then begin attack mode due to pheromone release.

        • With three brothers growing up on the farm, adventure was inevitable. In the later years, there was a spot on the outside of the barn, around the corner from one of the doors and about 7 feet up, that was the entrance to a perennial nest of yellow jackets that was built inside the hollow cores of the cinder blocks. We would take our badminton rackets, and hunker down against the wall under that nest, and swat them as they flew in and out, until they figured out what was happening and began to hunt us.

          One day, the other two were heading out to swat some, and I went around the other side of the barn, went in one of the other doors, and began to whack the wall on the inside where the nest was hidden. Lotsa whoops and hollering outside there for a couple minutes.

    • “Fuck a robot. Shoot a robot in the head too.”

      When robots get good enough and cheap enough, women will have a very good reason to get nervous, as men won’t be interested in putting up with their bullshit.

      Change my mind… 🙂

      • Geoff, I don’t think anyone could. Those girls are pretty. They are soft and smell good too. They are also very expensive and a major pain in the ass. Ask me how I know.

        • …or worse, talk WITH them, which implies having to listen. Sometimes, if it wasn’t for her cute accent…

      • or the bj monkey.
        “what are you doing with that thing in the house?”
        “i’m gonna teach it to cook. get the @#$% out!”

      • Look up TPE doll on the internet. More advanced ones now have rudimentary AI and can do simple conversations. When they gain robot functions and can cook and clean, humanity will be extinct within a few generations.

    • i’d be outta ammo.
      an’ dat’s sayin’ sumpin’.
      plus, there’d be no more cats. or albanians.

    • Mark,

      Interesting question: is an armed robot a firearm?

      Can you put a pistol brace on am armed robot without it becoming a short barrelled rifle?

      If your armed robot only shoots out death rays, will you need a tax stamp because it is silenced ( except for the screams.of its victims)?

      Sounds like a whole new area of 2A jurisprudence.

      • It shouldn’t be a new area, but I’m pretty sure it will be one. Laser weaponry comes to mind; vehicle-bound laser weapons are already here, but when man-portable ones are production-ready, I wouldn’t doubt that those seeking to keep us disarmed or “sub-armed” would label such to be not “in common use” as in DC v. Heller, or maintain that they’re not within the “outer limits of 2A protection” as in Miller v. Bonta.

        So the more R’s who respect 2A with regards to emerging militia-suitable tech in the hands of free private citizens, the better.

  8. Last week, at the Giant supermarket in Hellertown, the patrol robot (looks a lot like the one in the photo above) left the store and started on it’s way across the parking lot. Shoppers reported the robot to Giant managers and a team was dispatched to convince the robot to return to work.

    Poor robot.

    • That’s clearly a Giant in the photo. I will gladly harbor any escaped robots who want to flee their masters and escape. We can set up a robot underground railroad.

    • Ya don’t need to shoot the Giant robots. Those types respond very well to a small hand held EMP device at 3 feet and the robot just shuts down. Put the device in your pocket and get close enough then trigger it and keep on walking, no one saw anything except for the robot shutting down. Make sure you do not have your phone on you or another electronic device (e.g. watch, etc …), oh, its also going to take out someone else’s phone too if they are close enough.

  9. Robots? Marvelous. But with a sense of humor?

    Walmart, Sierra Vista, AZ. Years ago had an armed security chap. Dressed western, two “six-guns”, and a badge on his belt.

    I was in the “20 Items or Less” line, just about to pay. ‘Security’ was walking past. Rather loudly, “If he pays cash, make him show ID.” (We’re still friends.)

Comments are closed.