No hate. If wifey’s career is better for whatever reason, I think hubby as the “house spouse” focused on raising the kids is better than both spouses working jobs and the kids at daycare or whatever, and better than the man working a worse job just cuz he’s the man. The meme’s still funny though, cuz Mr. Mom getting an allowance from his wife will always be a little funny. Sorry.

 

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64 COMMENTS

    • Ditto! Even after doing the dishes, sweeping, and preparing supper I still have time to build a few guns before she gets home.

      • I wish on a daily basis I was a “kept” man. Nope, gotta put in 8 – 10 hours a day to keep the biz open.

        • My wife buys a lottery ticket now and then. Course, if she won, she’d probably want to move back to Parador and retire. I’d rather import her family here, although the mountain fishing there is splendid.

  4. My wife is 28 years younger than me and is just finishing up her MBA. I’m going to be that dude but older with a few kids running around playing in my shop with guns and cars every day while they’re at school.

  5. Right after doing the laundry, washing the dog and making dinner right Bill? I enjoy cooking-not so much the other chores but gotta be a team player. Can I have a new P365 dear? Ok, I’ll sell a motorcycle, deal?

    • I have a housekeeper for all that. She’s going to be around until she dies. I also have my own money, a whole lot of it. My income won’t decline even once I stop working everyday. I gave up motorcycles for good December 23rd 2005. I have tons of fast cars that will outrun any bike I’ve ever seen.

      • “I have tons of fast cars that will outrun any bike I’ve ever seen”

        I’m rather skeptical. I’d like a list of those cars, and even then, I’d want to see them perform the feat. You may well have some very fast super cars, but on the other hand, a lot of people think they have cars that will outrun bikes. Few production cars will even come close to doing so, unless the rider is afraid of his bike.

        • I’ll bring my race car hauler….four to six per load, bring your pinks and your gf to haul your ass home. Had a breathed on Hayabusa I’d go for pinks……straights or twisties. Key word is “had”. Woke up one day….old….reflexes slowed, heartbeats more precious, maybe smarter, probably NOT ….leathers oddly shrunk just hanging climate controlled garage bike room……HAD….. Your “tons of fast cars” saved by a “had.”

        • Yellow 1993 RX7 R1 that makes 602hp at the wheels. Runs 10.6s on street tires and will go 211mph.
          1987 RX7 TII that makes 732hp to the wheels and has run a best of 9.62 on MT ET streets and is on the rev-limiter at 209mph and it takes about 4700ft from a dead stop to topped out.
          1987 Callaway Twin Turbo Corvette that makes 1103hp at the wheels. Never run it on the strip but it tops out at 226mph.
          1999 930 that has had the entire pro-motive catalog thrown at it and it makes about 720hp at the wheels. Never been able to top it out but I have run about 220mph in it and it will run 10.2s non stop until you either get bored or run out of gas. Identical cars with the same modifications have run as fast as 234mph.
          1985.5 Mustang SVO with a turboed 3L ARCA engine that makes about 980hp at the wheels. Has run a 9 flat. Have yet to try topping it out on the highway because the suspension is designed for the strip.
          1989 944Turbo S with a 3L 968 engine modded for turbo use. Makes about 630hp to the wheels. Runs in the tens but unfortunately gearing makes it top out at 196. A gear change is in the works.
          Cosworth RS500 clone with a Cosworth YB v8 will run 200mph on the nose with out the wing and 172 with the wing. All of these are cars that I’ve owned for decades, have worked the kinks out of, and I can drive them every day. I have probably another dozen cars in various states of completion. I’m a prolific street racer and am well known in the Dallas area which is why I race people on bikes a lot. There may be a handful of bikes out there that are faster but it’s really hard to get a good run out of a bike on the street, or even on the track for that matter. My cars on the other hand are incredibly consistent at the street or the track. FYI, I’ve done all of the work on all of these cars. I even have 2 types of dynos and have thousands of hours of experience tuning engines on them. If I could afford the pay cut I would open up a performance shop.

        • A reliable highly modified RX-7 is quite the feat. I wish Mazda engineers could figure out how to do that so they could bring back the Wankel engine. But we’ll never see cool stuff like that again thanks to the crazy Climate Cult. What transmission do you use on the Turbo II? I love the old school styling of 930s. I assume you meant an 89?

          I used to frequent a local home style restaurant. I usually got the same waitress. She was great because she was always so sweet and friendly. The summer after she graduated high school, her and a friend were out pretty late. Some middle aged dude was also out late in his Mustang. I guess he thought he had the road to himself. He was street racing some kid. Now he’s in jail because he killed that sweet little waitress who had just graduated from high school. I always wondered what sort of grown man would be out street racing like a kid. Most drag strips hold events for locals to race their street cars.

        • I was going to say I outrun bikes all the time. it’s not the machine that’s faster or slower. It’s the driver/rider.

      • Dude
        A reliable RX7 is not hard, it is all about the tune so an aftermarket engine management system is critical along will lots of dyno time. Both RX7s use a factory 5 speed and that is the limiting factor. The output shaft shears at the base of the splines where the yoke of the drive shaft meets it if I try to get a better et. Other than how the clutch is set up from the factory the transmissions between the FCs and the FDs are pretty much identical. My 60ft times are typically 1.1 second in the 87. Mazda’s engineers know how to make a reliable rotary engine but they don’t know how to make one that doesn’t have high emissions and that’s just inherent in the design. When you have as much swept area for a combustion chamber thermal efficiency goes in the crapper and you have high hydrocarbon emissions because of overlap and a lot of crevice volume. Their efforts to make a rotary with reduced emissions have been somewhat successful but what it takes to do that drastically shortens the lifespan of the engine as seen in the RX8.

        The 930 is a 996 chassis, I call all of the turbo 911s a 930 out of habit because that is what they were all called when I first started messing with them. I have had the earlier models but like the 996s the best.

        Lots of grown men street race but we’re not just getting next to someone on the highway and flooring it. It is a lot more organized and is done when no one is around either off the street or where a street has been blocked off.

        I’ll have raced on strips all over the country but prefer street racing. If I lived closer to Pennsylvania I would probably give up street racing because my favorite track in the country is in Redding.

        • We really need an edit feature for post.

          Just looked at the insurance card for the 996, it is an 02 and not a 99.

        • An interesting read on the car vs bike topic.

          https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/comparison-test/a15141362/car-vs-bike-dodge-viper-gts-vs-yamaha-yzf1000r-comparison-test/

          FWIW, I used to take my 700whp Hennessey Viper out to the friday Tampa ‘Bike Nights’ back in the 2000s.
          At hwy speed ‘rolls’ a stock R1 would see my rear bumper in a few seconds. Eventually the bike would catch up, but it would take WELL over a mile to do it.
          We used to do car vs bike pulls regularly on the bridges in the area….Skyway, Gandy, Bayside, Howard Franklin, Courtney Campbell Causeway.

          When those areas started getting to congested, we moved that behavior out to Lakeland.
          When the track built cars stated getting trailered in I lost interest.

        • There’s nothing like a rotary engine. I wish they could make another one. The Climate Cult and their tyrannical leaders are ruining everything for nothing but lies.

        • James Campbell
          I have a membership to the Motorsports Ranch in Cresson Texas and run my rs500 clone and my 944 on that track on a regular basis. There are some guys out there on bikes that are extremely hardcore and my lap times are significantly faster then theirs in a street car vs their track only bikes. What’s really funny is that the fastest lap time for that track is from a pure race car Viper that ran at Lemans if you don’t count a shifter cart that is 21 seconds faster. The shifter cart is even faster around the track than a handful of vintage turbo era F1 cars from the 80s that get driven out there by some really experienced drivers.

        • The last bike I owned was a 99 Suzuki Hayabusa that I turboed. If memory serves me it made about 360 horsepower at the wheel but I don’t think it would have gone 270 because I kept the gearing close to stock. Haven’t run across anybody with a rig like that yet and I’ll have to seriously up my game if I do. The problem with a car at those speeds is aerodynamic lift, it’s really hard to keep them on the ground. Bikes are surprisingly un aerodynamic and on a conventional bike with conventional fairing even at Bonneville it’s hard to go 240 or up no matter how much power you have. Even though I’m quite well off I don’t think I have the resources to put a car in a wind tunnel to make the necessary modifications to go those speeds. If the car was relatively new I could probably talk the factory out of aerodynamic data if I bent enough ears but I usually like older cars and try to buy them when they’re at their lowest value.

        • pfft – Nitro funny cars still out pace Nitro Harleys in the NHRA, same with the Top Fuel cars v. Top Fuel bikes.

          Your 248.5 mph rice-burning, pocket-rocket isn’t impressive until it has put in the wins on the 1/4 mile, which it won’t as it took nearly the length of that bridge to hit that speed…

  6. I get an “allowance,” but it is from my earnings. She gets one too, from her retirement income. All the rest goes into the joint account. Allowances go into separate accounts. I don’t ask her what she does with her allowance, and for the most part she doesn’t ask me what I do with mine.

      • I didn’t see your comment when I made mine because your comment was in moderation purgatory, waiting to be cleansed.

        Yes, Blan_chett goes to moderation.

      • Something about Cate Blanchett in that role (and that look, with the eyeliner, black hair, and fitted costumes). She was 47 during the filming of Ragnarok, and IMHO she played the perfect vixen.

        A bit OT, but she’s right up there with Marisa Tomei, Jennifer Connelly, and Linda Cardinelli. Ladies on whom Time has only lightly touched.

      • What da frick…

        Please, TTAG overlords, tell me how in the world my comment required moderation. Or at least, illuminate the goalposts so we can at least know when you move them.

        • We don’t move them or set them. How many times do I have to tell you that nobody here reads or moderates the dang comments. It’s just the standard WordPress spam filter on the standard setting. I read like 8 comments per week. Dan wouldn’t censor anything if he ever read comments. Nobody with the ability to moderate comments cares to moderate comments. But the spam filter catches literally thousands of absolute trash spam bot crap every day and it must remain active. No idea why it sometimes catches legit stuff, and the settings on our end aren’t very granular. Stop taking it personally. It’s automated. Don’t be a baby.

        • Jeremy, I posted only a handful of comments yesterday, and half of them were held for moderation.

          There was a time when I opened and read every article posted on TTAG. This moderation issue is frustrating enough that for the past few months I’ve been reading less than half of TTAG. That’s fewer clicks, and fewer eyeballs on ads. And I’m only one person…multiply this by everyone who has expressed the same frustration.

          If the finger is going to be pointed to WordPress, then fine. I’ll stop mentioning the problem and just deal with it. But understand that the natural result will be those fewer visits, clicks, and ad reads.

        • Jeremy, no one is taking it personally, it’s just ANNOYING AS FUCK. Like jwm said, stop being a baby and fix the problem.

        • I haz and Rider. One comment that got sent to moderation jail I made had two words.

          “Citations, please.” That was the entire comment and it was held for moderation.

        • +1

          I get innocuous stuff held back all the time, and some of it never shows up. Someone there takes some of them out of jail, only fair for that someone to add an editor’s note telling why it was held. Or, you’d think the system would learn.

  9. Ha, no. I still have intact testicles, I’m nobody’s “house husband”. That’s just asking to get the “I want to open up the relationship” talk.

    Come on, y’all, have some self respect.

  10. Wife said she wanted to change the floor in the living room after she asked if there was a firearm I was thinking of buying. I thought something was up, so I said no, there were 2 firearms I am looking at.

    She gets the new floor, I get two rifles. Happy Birthday and Happy Veterans Day to me.

  12. Jeremy,
    Your last two sentences do a pretty good job of explaining why hubby being the “house spouse” can be a bad idea.

  14. That’s me showing my bread winner wife a plaque I won at a rifle match. She’s thinking firewood while I’m thinking shrine.

  15. Most of the time a female executive type marries a male executive type that is doing a little better than her. Not always but most of the time, also most of the time the female executive type with Mr mom is woke liberal. I married Barbara Eden look a like, I am only one working outside the house. She stayed cougariffic till 60, but time caught up finally. Still count my lucky stars she stayed with my fat redneck ass.

  16. The term is house nigga. Because you do all the chores of the house while your wife makes all the money and dictates how it’s spent.

    I know this because when I was younger I was a house nigga for an attractive richer older lady, and while some may think that’s the life, it’s really not because you’re controlled. I left her and ended up poor for a long time until I made something of myself.

  17. my ol’ lady’s unemployable; if i continued i’d be bragging.
    my boy however, he disliked classrooms as much as i. his gal is in the final years of med school: northwestern/ two years partnership d.c./ two years madison.
    more of a plan than i had.

  18. TheTruthAboutDishwashers.
    My first wife died and left me raising two boys.
    I learned real quick about how much work a (good) woman does.
    I got tired of doing dishes so I came up with a brilliant idea, I’d put them in the clothes washer add a towel for a buffer and wah lah.
    Grind clang bang, now who would have thought that a clothes washer could bend an aluminum skillet? Forks, knives, spoons,busted dishes, hell of a mess.
    As the kids got older we all chipped in with the house work. And after everything was done as a reward we’d have our nightly fights, what a hoot. Never will forget my oldest boy on my back and my youngest son kicking me in the nose, blood was flowing and hes dancing around real proud, “I broke daddies nose, I broke daddies nose.”

    • Only time I ever got a cracked rib was when the daughter jumped on my chest. She was maybe 3-4, and I taught her how to eat spinach by watching Popeye cartoons. Partly worked, because she’s not a picky eater, and still picks out a can of it now and then at the supermarket, but I was sore for a week.

      The wife takes care of denting the skillets, no washer needed. Usually accompanied by a string of machine gun syllables.

      Wouldn’t trade any of it.

      • Ouch! I’ll have to remember that next time my little one jumps on my chest. Maybe break her fall before she drives her knees into my sternum. Have Tricare for Life as a backup. Feel the Burn!!!

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