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Comedian Ricky Gervais demonstrates just how popular the pompous CNN demagogue still is with most of his former countrymen. Assuming Ricky’s cockatiel cage is already well covered and depending on the funnyman’s diet and fiber intake, those 337 pages of daft dreck should keep him from having to make a TP run for quite some time. If you’re the unfortunate one in the office who snags one of these works of fiction from your secret Santa this year, what will you do with it?

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50 COMMENTS

  1. Someone should print things like this directly on toilet paper. Seriously. I’d buy it. Take my money.

  2. Ricky Gervais’ comedy is really hit or miss for me. I loved the BBC’s The Office, Extras was pretty good, and Derek is just painful. But on this, he and I are in total agreement.

    Alternately, I could tear the pages out, run them through my shredder, and then use them as packing material for gun-related Christmas presents to other people.

    • Derek is great, but I think many people can’t handle confronting stuff, or something multidimensional, as it’s a drama show with some comedy.

      But anyway, why not just NOT buy the book? Saves us putting money in the wrong pockets.

  3. I’ll suggest a TTAG target contest, however I would be hard pressed to send a penny to Piers, unless of course it was going towards a flight back home for good.

  4. Wasn’t Gervais in one of those TV commercials for a Call of Duty type of FPS game not too long ago?

  5. Indeed. I’d use the gun for target practice, but only if I could obtain one (legally) with giving one cent to Piers.

    • Did he even have enough to say to stop a .22? I doubt it would even make backstop for a pellet gun.

      • Our buddy Piers always has too much to say – loves to hear his own voice and lacks an off switch – the book’s probably thick-enough to warrant a warning to make sure a child (or small adult like myself) can’t tip it over onto themselves. I’ll attempt to verify this hypothesis ASAP.

        I promise right now that I won’t attempt to hold you responsible if I pull a muscle trying to lift the thing, assuming he (as usual) didn’t know when to STFU.

        On the other hand, I will make every attempt to bring Piers to court in the event that I suffer a hernia trying to give a damn about what he has to say.

    • Same here. If someone gave it to me, I’d give it the same treatment I gave some of my least-favorite grad-school textbooks after finding out they had no value on the used market. Manufacturing confetti at 75 yards, one 30-caliber bullet at a time.

  6. “If you’re the unfortunate one in the office who snags one of these works of fiction from your secret Santa this year, what will you do with it?”

    Oh, now doubt whatsoever … it will be my family’s white elephant Christmas exchange gift in perpetuity.

  7. Not going to happen; as a single proprietor, I’ve a very small office staff.

    That said, should a copy wend its way into my hands, I’ll dissolve it in nitric and sulphuric acids, bury it two feet down with an electrically triggered pyrotechnic squib and make of it a very small mushroom cloud.

    • EDIT: Or I might correct any gramatical, spelling and usage errors, critique the overall thesis and send it back marked F.

  9. I’ll just repeat my original comment from the original Piers Morgan book post from a few days ago:
    “I only see one purpose for “Shooting Straight”. After it gets moved to the 99 cent shelf it would be good bathroom material–to be used and flushed a page or two at a time.”
    Ricky Gervais stole my material. 🙂

  10. Shooting Straight? Really, Piers? That’s funny coming from the most dishonest journalist (and I use that term extreeeeemely loosely) of our age, a disgraced unrepentant traitorous fraud.

  13. Hollow out a section, pack with tannerite, and BOOM! Make it a raffle and donate the proceeds to the NRA.

    • Yeah, but he also knows pedantic stupidity when he sees it, and he’s not afraid to point it out.

    • He’s perfectly welcome to be a liberal in his views / how he lives day-to-day.

      I haven’t heard him on the TV, internet, etc. lobbying to take my rights away.

      • Bingo. He’s more than welcome to believe and make fun of whoever and whatever he wants, and it suits me fine. Its only when he takes an active part in trying to tell me how to live that its a problem, and I haven’t seen or heard anything along those lines from him.

    • Funny. To me, the shape of Piers’ head reminds me of what they call in his native tongue a “Bell End.”

  19. Tried to put a copy in my range bag but the zombie targets keep throwing it back yelling something about neighborhood standards.

  21. Being slightly familiar with the particular publishing house and the standards required of their printers….. I would cut the spine, take 25 or so pages at a time and roll them into tight little logs, Dip both ends (just the ends, about an inch each) in paraffin wax, and then use them as fire starters. Not as much fun as making confetti at 20 yards to be sure but at least it will make Morgan useful for once in his life.

  25. I’d quickly return the book to its proper pedestal beside the Necronomicon before the ancient Evil Ones notice that their toady Piers Morgan stole it and put his name on the cover.

  28. Should one ever come into my possession…I’d hollow out the inside and hide my .45 inside.

    Irony at its best.

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