shanekamoniquetorres

Let me set the scene for you. It’s 3 AM on a week night, and you and your BFF suddenly get a craving for some cheeseburgers. So you hop in your ride, cruise down to the local Mickey D’s and pull into to the drive-thru lane. The over-worked, under-paid employee on the other end of the intercom takes your order, and when you pull around you’re handed your food…but without the bacon you’d ordered. What do you do? Well, obviously the best option is to pull your heater and put a round through the building. This is, after all, bacon we’re talking about . . .

From The Smoking Gun:

According to cops, after ordering at the drive-thru window, the 29-year-old Torres and another woman “complained that the order was incorrect.”  When a McDonald’s employee stepped away from the window, “one shot was fired from the suspect vehicle.”

Torres was reportedly upset because she expected bacon on the sandwich she ordered.

God knows that bacon is delicious. But – a word to the wise – it’s not worth a felony charge. While a dearth of smoked pork products is certainly cause for concern, it doesn’t constitute an actual life-or-death situation. To avoid prison and large legal bills, keep your gun holstered unless and until your life is actually threatened.

Shaneka Monique Torres is currently enjoying her stay in a (no doubt bacon-less) Michigan correctional facility awaiting trial on a smattering of charges. Hopefully the IGOTD award we’re sending along will keep her company.

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121 COMMENTS

  2. You don’t mess with a persons bacon!! That’s an unforgivable offense!! Damn Mc D employees ought to know that!!

  3. Wow… shots fired over bacon. Wouldn’t have guessed that.

    “You take my bacon… I will kill you”

  4. Would like to point out, she was not a legal carrier of said firearm. Just another case of a crazy hood rat, not a permit holder gone loco

    • Where did you read that?

      As an aside, I do wish this blog would make it a point to include that information in their articles. I support carrying concealed weapons wherever one goes, especially at 3 AM. But I have to wonder at the nitwits who think firing a round through a restaurant is appropriate. I want to know where these antisocial approaches to life come from! I don’t think they’re a product of watching too much TV (although I haven’t watched TV is ages. Is this a typical scene on TV? Shoot up buildings over sandwiches?) I want to believe people who do such things should never have had the gun in the first place. But I can’t make that assumption.

      Gah, I wish we offered basic firearm safety as a course in elementary school.

      • Have you ever driven by a “hood”? They grow up and live in an environment where this is considered the only reasonable response! Probably tens of thousands of similar shots are fired every night in America (luckily they don’t practice aiming much) but if it’s not against a fast food joint or innocent bystander you never hear about it. And yet people wonder why anyone would want the means to defend their self in this ‘advanced’ society we live in.

  6. Something about “nothing good after midnight” comes to mind. Granted, there is no crime in being out after midnight, nor should there be. Some people have to work after midnight, the McDonald’s employee for one. However, it seems like an extremely high number of stupid things happen in the wee hours of the morning.

    • Worked at a taco bell on the all night drive thru. Nothing normal is coming to your window at 2-3 in the am. Seems to be the witching hour. Before that you have the evening and graveyard shift people handling business. After that you get day shift people handling business. Don’t ask me about the carny folk.

  7. Ha! What happens to me is that I’m usually miles down the road before I realize they messed up my order.

  12. The one positive outcome from this incident is that other customers of this particular McDs are likely to find bacon on everything they order.

  13. The fact she was eating at McDs strengthens her case for temporary insanity.

    Also 3:00a.m. is their another 3:00, It is 3:05 a.m. right now, think I get a bacon cheeseburger

    • Bacon as a person’s meds: Yep, just another person off their meds. She needed that bacon. Obviously.

  14. ” . . . keep your gun holstered unless and until your life is actually threatened.”

    Her life WAS being threatened – being denied her bacon!

  17. Yeah the munchies at 2 AM is a real big deal.
    Nice hair style, I bet she played the guy in the relationship.

  18. Jailed in lieu of $50,000 bond, Charges of carrying a concealed weapon, discharge of a firearm, felony firearm charge, also had an outstanding bench warrant for unpaid fines associated with driving with a suspended license. The icing on the cake, or the maraschino cherry in your McD shake as it were, is that they tracked her down from her telephone number. Her telephone number that she left with an employee at the first drive-through window after flirting with him. All of this is from the UPI website.

  20. She had ordered a sandwich earlier that same day and they had forgot to add the bacon. She called the restaurant to complain, the manager agreed to give her a free meal at her next visit. She supplied her name and phone number to the manager. After clubbing with her bff they went to claim the free meal. Received her order for the second time without bacon. Luckily they already had her name from her claiming the free meal.

  22. Someone should form the Association to Prevent Stupid Baby Names. How can two parents (or one, at least) look down at a little newborn infant and inflict a name like “Shaneka” on the poor thing. I wouldn’t do that to a hamster, much less a human being. Result: A permanent bad attitude that results in ill-advised hair care and homicidal rage at burger assembly technicians. If she’d been named “Susan” or “Elizabeth” she might now be studying a cell under a microscope instead of a cell inside a jail. Or maybe not . . .

      • Those names are at least actual words and they do appear to be appropriate descriptors of the female in question. The lack of objection to foolish monickers is all part of the general decline of honest English. “Personnel” is now “human resources.” “Insane asylum” is now “treatment center.” “Wastrel” is now “community organizer.” Even our own ranks are falling victim to the trend. Hunters don’t shoot or kill deer; they “harvest” them.

        • I consider hunting and harvesting two separate activities. To my mind hunting implies going afield, stalking quarry and with a preference for more interesting specimens as opposed to the best meats while harvesting implies taking either the likely best meat animal or simply the easiest to get at from the most comfortable position in the most likely manner to effect a kill and recovery.

          Contrast the hunter in camouflage awaiting a big buck in a tree stand to a harvester sitting in the back of a pickup truck on a lawn chair watching a feeding station in an open field.

          It’s not that I have more or less respect for either approach as they are intended to accomplish different goals (generally the former is a type of sport performed for entertainment while the latter is intended only to supply meat). It’s just that, at least to me, they are very different activities.

    • “How can two parents (or one at least)”…….I’ll bet you a beacon sandwich it’s the latter.

    • Shaneka is not an uncommon same, being a feminizong of Shan, which is of English origin and a variation on Sean. Compare with Siona of Shawna.

      Non-English names are no sign of the decline and fall of Engligh. Neither is Torres English, for that matter, although it’s certainly American enough.

      I tend to cut “people of colour” a bit of slack on names, anyway, if they are choosing something “Africanesque;” it’s an understandable backlash against the forcible removal way back when of family and personal names and their replacement with Toby Jackson or some such.

      Very few posters ’round here get to throw grammatical stones, anyway.

      <sarc>
      Their just isn’t anywy they’re language is good enough to justify complaint about other’s. For all intensive purposes, there at about a sixth grade level, or worse. Personally, I could care less but still it needs pointed out…
      </sarc>

  25. Another victim of the white racist system. The bitter clingers instilled her rage. The NRA convinced her that guns were cool. They even brainwashed this poor underprivileged minority victim with the racist notion that blonde hair = beauty.

  26. I can see a whole new fast food marketing line. The Mc Ruger, the Big Mac-10. A beef and bean Berett-o. Washed down with a frosty mug of S&W root beer.

    I admit to some trouble with my Austrian brand. Glocko Bell? Glock in the Box?

  27. Come on…..

    Who amongst us wouldn’t have at least considered, doing the same thing under the circumstances?

  28. I wouldn’t want to get close to anything that size. Piss her off, and she might hit you on top your head and break both your ankles!
    My wife is a manager at the local MacDonald’s, Every night when she gets home from her swing shift job, she has a story to tell, which is why I never eat there.

  30. I’m assuming, based on high, high probability, that her previous criminal record would’ve prohibited her from owning a firearm in the first place.

    #criminalsdontfollowthelaw

  31. They f**k you at the drive-thru! So who gets f**ked? Shaneka, that’s who. But not this time, dammit.

  36. Wow… How can someone that damned stupid even figure out how to point and shoot?

    It’s unlikely that the overworked, underpaid public defender will be able to save that b¡tch’s bacon, so she can cool her bacon where there ain’t much bacon.

    Think I’ll go fry me some, just in celebration and cerebration of my not being – that.

  38. When they messed up her order she should’ve just kept her cool and called 911 like a normal person.

  39. That McDonalds is only a few blocks from my house; honestly when it hit our local news I could hardly stop laughing it seems so fake.

    At least they caught the crazy lady quick…

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