See, this is why we can’t have nice things. That’s Paul F. Smith, above, dressed in his best orange outfit. His neighbor walked outside on Monday only to find a hole in his whip.

Officers were called about 3 p.m. to the 400 block of Center Street in Woodstock for a criminal damage to property complaint, according to a statement from the Woodstock police. The officer determined the vehicle was damaged by a bullet that came from the apartment next door.

Fortunately for the aggrieved car owner, this little incident happened in Chicagoland where gun crimes are always job one. Friday and Gannon were obviously on the job.

Detectives learned a social gathering had been held in one of the apartments on Sunday, and Paul F. Smith intentionally shot a gun at a dart board, police said. The bullet went through a window in the apartment and struck the neighbor’s parked vehicle, which was unoccupied.

Because if you can’t hit the bullseye with a steel tip, you might as well give it a try with your 9mm, amirite? How many Old Styles do you think Paul had put away prior to pulling the trigger?

Smith, 31, of Woodstock, was charged with felony reckless discharge of a firearm and misdemeanor criminal damage to property, police said.

Smith was held on a $20,000 bond. We don’t know if the professor was able to come up with the two grand he needed to get himself back on the street. In any case, he’ll no doubt lose his gun rights. Forever. And the rest of the gun-owning community has lost a little face for having this dim bulb counted amongst us. Maybe he thinks earning our Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day award is worth it. What are the odds?

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37 COMMENTS

    • It has little to do with the alcohol.

      All booze does in this regard is lower your inhibitions. If you’re an idiot drunk you’re 99.999% likely to be an idiot sober but slightly less prone to showing it.

      There’s nothing inherently dangerous about alcohol and firearms provided that the person imbibing the alcohol isn’t a retard and has a reasonable amount of experience with firearms. In fact, if you’re one of the people who chooses to drink you should drink while shooting occasionally because if someone does decide to break into your house and wave around a crowbar they’re not going to wait until you’re stone cold sober to do it.

      • Yeah. Like you outta have a few drinks and practice some evasive driving techniques.

        The cops will even help you out with the realism.

        Let me know how that works for ya?

        I’m betting the alcool had lots to do with it. Unleashes the inner dumbass and take it to a whole new level.

        Hey y’all …. watch this.

        • Specialist, you’re better than this. Arguing a point to absurdity isn’t a form of argument. It’s a logical fallacy. Further, making a comparison that has nothing to do with the original discussion is yet another form of fallacy.

          The point here is simple. It’s been studied fairly well. For a significant portion of the population noticeable impairment driving a car, mostly in reaction time, is affected by a 0.02BAC. This doesn’t come to a threshold of being dangerous, generally speaking for most of the population until it’s significantly higher, which is why 0.08BAC is the DUI limit in most states (although 0.04BAC can get you a DWAI in some places).

          Now, a car requires major motor skills, judgement, a bit of coordination and reaction time. The major difference with a gun is that it requires fine motor skills.

          I’ll say this yet again because someone inevitably brings it up every time I say something like this: No one is talking about getting trashed while shooting. However, that whole “train like you fight” mantra kicks in here. Your judgement and your fine motor skills will be affected by alcohol, if you’ve been drinking, and also by adrenaline in a DGU. The amount of alcohol doesn’t take much to start screwing with your fine motor coordination and the adrenaline is going to do that too. Alcohol will affect the way you shoot, your judgement and your fine motor skills. So, if you’re the type that likes to unwind with a drink or two and the end of the day, it is wise to see how that affects your shooting by shooting while consuming a drink or two while shooting. That way you’ll know what’s going on if you do have a home invasion. Statistically that will be at night, and statistically that will be when you’re drinking if you’re the type to drink. The BG isn’t just going to go away until you’re sober and can deal with him.

          You know what’s more dangerous than even being flat out legally drunk? Being tired. That’s why the military exhausts you in training. To teach you to think and make good judgement calls while you’re tired. Would you disarm because you’re tried? Obviously not. So why would you disarm when you’ve had a couple, A COUPLE, of drinks which is actually safer than walking around strapped and tired? So, put on your big boy pants and learn to shoot after a beer or three. It’s not unsafe unless you’re an idiot when you’re sober and it’s the only way you will truly learn how a couple drinks at the end of the day affects your ability to handle your business.

          You can argue logical fallacies all you want but you can’t crack the actual logic of what I’m saying. If you drink, then statistically the most likely time that you would have a DGU is very likely to be when you’re not sober. Disarming only makes you a victim in that case. There is no inherent danger is having a glass of wine and shooting some targets. There is no inherent danger in have two or three so long as you can handle your booze.

          If you drink, not to get drunk but a couple to unwind at the end of the day, and you disarm to do it that’s dumb. Massive advantage for a BG. If you drink and don’t disarm but don’t practice having had a few, you’re still giving the BG an advantage that you shouldn’t be, it’s just not as large.

          Sorry, this “alcohol and guns don’t mix” line is fucking horseshit. Being drunk and guns don’t mix but you can drink and not get drunk (unless you’re one of those people with a weird metabolism, Pacific Islander or Native American). If you drink and can’t trust yourself to have a few drinks and properly operate a firearm then you shouldn’t have either one.

          Seriously, are you going to forget the 4 basic rules if you have three beers? Yeah, like I said if that’s a problem you actually see yourself having you shouldn’t have a gun in the first place.

        • No, it wasn’t the Alcohol. Just like it isn’t the gun, or the vehicle. These are non-aware material composites that bother nobody when left alone. It is the people like YOU who can’t develop the synopsis connections to comprehend that all crime is a human BEHAVIORAL problem/issue. Until “You People” emancipate yourselves from your regime brainwashed cognitive detention center and realize that you are doing nothing more than exacerbating the crime problem by your puerile attempts at ‘spanking and grounding’ the problem with illegal rights suppressions, Statist privacy and property control, and police state tactics to further a Totalitarian proprietary profit agenda, and get into some advanced criminal justice and social psychological population education and enlightenment, YOU’RE ALL GOING TO KEEP FUCKING DYING OF STUPIDITY!

          By the way, great insert, TAG! This what people need to constantly see. Stupid, IS, a curable disease. If enough attention is paid to it. Just ask any Spec Ops people.

        • “Alcohol and guns don’t mix” is the mantra of the fudd.

          Alcohol and firearms have mixed for as long as they’ve both been around, and will continue to mix forever. The trick is to acknowledge it, and try to live life so you personally are not negatively impacted.

      • I fully agree. I drink at my house and don’t take my gun out of the holster or the holster off my belt because it is my home. I’ve never had an issue and I foresee never will because I just don’t act like an idiot. Alcohol might make me more fun, but that isn’t because it makes me do stupid things. Alcohol makes me more fun because it lubricates my dialog. Like you stated, if you have a propensity to be a dumbass sober then it will be that propensity that comes out when you drink. The real key is understanding what happens to when you drink and being honest about it. The same with driving a fast car, playing backyard chemist, reloading, playing backyard architect with 2x4s, or having a few of Sam Adam’s oat sodas. Life is a big version of “how far can I take it”. Know your honest limits sober or otherwise.

        • And I agree. I always have a beer or wine to accompany a meal at any restaurant. Inside my pocket or on my belt there is also a .38 or 9mm on all those occasions as well. It would be, as I see it, stupid to let one cancel out the other. I’m no more drunk after one beer than you are after your afternoon siesta, and to maintain otherwise is to spew the nonsense peddled by MADD, an organization not far removed ideologically from any of Mike Bloomberg’s “false skirt” front groups.

      • Wow thanks for the great legal advice. In many states being in possession of a firearm while intoxicated is a criminal offense.

        • SO if you are home, having a dinner, and have a drink or two, and just about as dinner is wrapping up someone busts your door down in a home invasion, and you’re supposed to do what, drop your guns because you were drinking?
          And I don’t believe he was giving out legal advice, he was stating his opinion on how ridiculous the whole alcohol & guns don’t mix argument is. Drunk and guns don’t mix.
          not that I think everyone should get a six pack and head to the range, since you are right, it is probably illegal in 99.9999% of all states. BUt that once again brings me to my original question; you’re in your own home, having a dinner, a get together, a bat mitzvah, what ever, and you have 2 beers. Some one kicks your door down to steal all the birthday presents. You react and shoot the SOB, so now some liberal panty-waist DA gets to put you on trial because you were in possession of a fire are while “intoxicated”?

        • Concealed is concealed. No, you may not search me without a warrant. What is your probable cause? And, I want a speedy jury trial, where is my lawyer? We need to stop caving to unenforceable laws. Possibly even ” sumbitch came in and waved a gun, somebody shot him. I’m not saying who, you can find out, or not.”

      • Alcohol and guns is a bad idea regardless of whether or not you do it. Alcohol And driving is also a bad idea And lots of people think that’s not a not a big deal either.

        Try sobering up for shooting and hunting. It’s actually more fun.

  2. I have to wonder if it is possible are really that stupid, or they have very poor self-control which is exacerbated by the consumption of alcohol.

    And I sometimes think are they anti-gun sympathizers trying to make the law-abiding firearm owners look bad by playing to almost every media stereotype of the “Gun Owner”.

    • “I have to wonder if it is possible [that people] are really that stupid, or they have very poor self-control which is exacerbated by the consumption of alcohol.”

      As with a lot of things, a little of column A and a little of column B.

  3. Part of me has long been thinking Los Democratos are nudging their own kind to do teh stoopid, just so they have more ammo (pun definitely in-ten-dead) to further destroy 2A.

    But that can’t happen here. Nah.

    Neither can #FakeNews.

  4. D…head will just get another gun illegally and be back teaching anti gun stuff next week. You said he was a professor therefore the comments about him being back teaching next week.

  5. I’ve been thinking for a long time Los Democratos are getting their own to perform teh stoopid to further their agenda – kinda sorta maybe like the peace lovers and their taqiyya.

    But that can’t happen here. Neither can #FakeNews. Yeah.

  6. Old Style. Only a Chicagoland denizen would get that reference. What a putz.Anywho boring football and uninspired commercial content…?

  7. The only reason this is news is because it involved a gun in a big bad city. It wouldn’t have made the news or probably even be investigated here in the sticks. The only thing missing was “Hold my beer”.

    • Well… yeah. Because when you let one fly in a city, the chance of it hitting something that belongs to someone else- or IS someone else- is a lot higher.

    • The reason this is news is because the Chicago Sun-Crimes loves to publicize the one gun owner in a million who does something criminally stupid (Illinois has over 1 million people with FOID cards).

      Woodstock has a population of around 25,000. Not a big city. More of an uncomfortable combination of conservative agricultural/rural and liberal suburbanites that hop the train to Chicago to work.

  8. that’s where they filmed groundhog’s day.
    [they’ve] converted the old jail cell in the square into a pretty good restaurant.
    that kid is a busch light moe.
    and to really drink old style these days, you’ll have to find lacrosse lager.

  10. Lose his gun rights? Well he should. But he’ll plead to the misdemeanor and the State’s Attorney will drop the felony charge. He’ll buy a new Hi-Point the next day.

  12. Old Style. I haven’t seen that for sale since I left the Midwest for someplace where the sun makes regular appearances during the winter.

  14. So a hole in a car lined up with his window. Fair enough. But all the other details came from running a mouth. Stfu would have gone a long way here. The burden of proof would be on authorities to prove who did what and when. Without witnesses or evidence, like a pistol, they would be hard pressed to make charges stick.
    No matter, he believed the cops were there to help him and get his side of the story. Make it right and find out what happened. At some point the court appointed lawyer will get the case and it will be a matter of not if but how long be goes to jail.

    • It was a party. Plenty of witnesses. Not too hard to get to the truth. All it took was one witness who promised not to say anything to the drunk with a gun in his hand, but who came to his senses and sang to the police later.

  15. Woodstock is 70 miles NE of Chicago, 2 counties away. While it’s an easy narrative to blame this on Chicago, it’s also a lazy narrative.

    I live in Woodstock. It’s hardly Chicagoland.

    That said, he’s an idiot.

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