When I worked at CNN as a videotape editor, the producers would hand me a “package” of audio and video and tell me they wanted it assembled within half-an-hour. It was literally impossible. But a videotape editor couldn’t say that to a producer. So we’d nod our heads, salute and say KBISFB. I can now reveal the meaning of the videotape editors’ secret code: “Keep Believing It, Shit for Brains.” Which refers to other readers, NOT our Armed Intelligentsia. Anyway, I’m bringing the term here to TTAG for firearms-related stories that stretch the limits of credibility to the point where they don’t require a blogger’s deft deconstruction. The first one hails from my hometown police’s blotter . . .
A 19-year-old Mount Hope man told the police that he fell down drunk and shot himself in the leg late Thursday night.
The police were called about gunfire on Doyle Avenue a few minutes after 11 p.m. and found Jason Stallworth at Camp Street and Doyle Avenue, according to a police report. Stallworth had a bullet wound in his leg and abrasions all over his face, the police said.
Stallworth told the police that he was drunk and fell down some stairs, which is when he shot himself. He said he dropped the gun somewhere, but wasn’t sure where, the report said.
Stallworth was taken to Rhode Island Hospital for treatment.
Translation: I got shot buying drugs, but can’t admit it or they’ll kill me.
We had a highly-publicized home invasion in our neighborhood. Once we figured out the details, it turned a bit grey: the college-age kids got broken into around 3AM. The thieves stole their cell phones, so they couldn’t call anyone until the next morning, and they called daddy (the homeowner) first. Yeah, right. Guido and Guido came by asking nicely for payment for the party favors, and quit being nice when they couldn’t pay. It took them all until morning to sober up and clean up after the drugs. At least, that’s my best guess. (#2 guess: they were broken in on, but were so drunk or stoned no one knew it until morning.)
Some things just pin your bullshit meter. But its amazing how many people’s bullshit meters are broken. Or just turned off, when it’s convenient.
This is the kind of thing that happens all the time in Mount Hope. Which is why it’s sometimes called Mount Dope.
They should have pushed the issue that he is underage for a handgun then. I assume it was a smallish handgun that was “lost” versus an long gun. Maybe he needed Lohan’s longslide?
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