Good news for Disney World! . . . Alligator hunting has become big business in Florida -“It’s a well-known fact that Florida has a lot of alligators. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission estimates the state is home to about 1.3 million of the freshwater reptiles. So how many of them are hunted? More than 87,000 between 2000 and 2015 by the FWC, which coordinates two gator hunting programs: the statewide nuisance alligator program and the recreational statewide alligator harvest program.” Tastes like chicken, but then what doesn’t?

https://youtu.be/6RpgmmhpPRI

My only commentary on this video: some of these hunters could have dropped the camera and defended themselves. You see a dangerous animal charging you and these idiots are like “But first let me take a selfie!” Sounds like something I would do though.

Beware! Darwin is out there, somewhere . . .  16-year-old dies after hunting accident in Charlotte Co. – “A 16-year-old male was accidentally shot and killed in a hunting accident Friday evening, according to the Va. Department of Game and Inland Fisheries (VDGIF). The Game Commission says this happened on private property on Mt. Carmel Rd. in Charlotte County around 5:20 p.m. They say a 17-year-old male was hunting and mistook his 16-year-old friend, who was hunting with him, as a deer. The 16-year-old died at the scene.”

I hate to disappoint those of you who’ve joined the overly commercialized hunt for Big Foot, but the search for the mythical creature has hit a road block in the State of New York [click on link for letter]. “The simple truth of the matter,” NY Chief Biologist Gordon R. Batcheller writes, “is that there is no such animal anywhere in the world.” I guess all those Comic Con nerds will have to find a new outdoor activity to participate in… Good thing the chupacabra myth hasn’t been rejected by the State of Texas. Oh it’s on! 

This email’s been circulating on the net. It’s veracity has been questioned . . . St. Martins Island Deer Poachers Rumor – “From our raid on St. Martins Island on Nov. 19, 2009. Thirty-one bucks and nine does on the pole. Nothing smaller than a seven-point. Another approximately 10 deer, antlers and heads found on the ground around the camp. A mix of smaller bucks and does. Ten deer without tags, approximately another 10 deer with wives’/girlfriends’ tags. Investigation continues.” Truth or lie boy that’s a lot a venison!

Michigan maliciousness . . . Coopersville area men caught illegally duck hunting over bait – “Fifty-eight mallards and wood ducks were confiscated in the Sunday morning incident – the second day of the duck hunting season that goes through Dec. 4 in the south zone of Michigan, according to the Grand Haven Tribune. Not only were the duck hunters well over the legal limit of how many birds they could take, they were also hunting over bait – which is illegal, according to Conservation Officer Ivan Perez.” These hunters must have hit a sweet spot on a pond and failed to resist the temptation of taking birds past the limit. Imagine telling your wife “Honey, I spent $29,000 on duck hunting in one day.” Dog house for a year for sure.

Corn Picker, 10-Point Whitetail Buck Have Ugly Confrontation “Nature’s not pretty sometimes. Some folks will use tickle chains on a bar in front of tractors when bushhogging to stir up any fawns to keep from running over them. But sometimes things happen and deer get hit. There are other deer and it’s not the end of the world.” For the deer it was.

I don’t talk when I hunt. These pro-gamers get paid to do it. At 42:00, Idiot 1 asks Idiot 2 “Are we shitty hunters?” Answer: you have no idea . . .

37 COMMENTS

  1. For those of you who haven’t tried it – no, gator does not taste like chicken. We just tell you that so you’ll stop making that face and try it. Chicken-like or not though, it IS good and you’re missing a treat.

    • I’ve never had gator. But since it’s a reptile I assume that it tastes more like fish, than chicken.

    • My favorite way to fry gator is this:

      Salt and pepper the gator meat after patting dry
      Mix 1:1 Crystal Hot Sauce and buttermilk (try to get some local stuff, not that low-fat bullshit)
      Marinate the gator in the hot sauce and buttermilk for 2 to 24 hours
      Mix up flour with some salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper
      Take the gator out of the marinade, shake off excess, dip in the flour, and deep fry however you like best
      Personally, I like to use a cast-iron Dutch oven and a candy thermometer

      • Yeah, that all sounds kinda familiar and easy. What would tie me in a knot is, how do you BUTCHER the thing? Clean like a deer and cook like a fish? Confusing.

  2. What does one shoot gator with?
    The primal fear part of me says 12ga slugs or 458 socom.

      • “.22LR between the eyes…… Really.”

        Not really. Shoot it “between the eyes” and you will most likely have a *very* pissed-off gator on your hands.

        About 6 inches rearward from the eyes is where the brain is.

        …and it’s about the size of a walnut.

        Make that shot count! 🙂

    • .22 lr. . In Alabama you have to have positive control of the gator before you can shoot it. Eye shot/ head shot. Ya don’t want to maim the hide or meat.

    • Shooting a gator anywhere but the brain is just about pointless, as it’s essentially a dinosaur and doesn’t feel pain the way mammals do. Even shooting it with a very large caliber in the body would not really stop or kill it, at least for awhile. I personally use a bang stick chambered in .38. Then I still make sure to scramble the brain with a knife and tape it’s mouth shut just incase. Those prehistoric bastards don’t die easily.

  3. My old man taught me that shells between the fingers trick with my single shot .410. I was only ever charged by a rabbit one time.

    It was hare raising.

  4. Poaching is one of those tough issues for me. On the one hand, I hate the idea that our forefathers spilled blood to make sure we weren’t jailed for shooting the King’s deer, among other things, and yet that’s exactly what happens now if you shoot the State’s deer. But on the other hand, shit like the story above is proof that there needs to be SOME laws on bag limits, etc. Perhaps some middle ground? It seems silly to me that in Northern PA, where whitetails are basically giant forest rats, I can only shoot one per season, and it better have antlers on it. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, as I don’t claim to be a forest ranger or conservation expert. But let me put it this way: some people I know (including relatives by marriage) have 1000 some-odd acres up by the PRNY border, and sometimes deer end up getting shot without associated tags. This has been going on for decades apparently, and there are deer aplenty up there. If they upped the bag limit, would we see a deerpocalypse within a few seasons? Or would everything be perfectly fine?

  5. Wildlife in farm machines is a serious problem, and it gets only worse as the machinery becomes larger and larger.

    It can cause serious problems downstream. A neighboring farmer, who used a “big bale” baler (4’x4’x8′ bales, about one ton in weight), had sucked up a couple of sage hens into his swather and blew the resulting bird puree’ out into the windrow. Four days later, he baled it.

    Three months later, he was paying his dairy farming customer $25K or thereabouts for 22 dead dairy cows that died of botulism poisoning as a result of the uncooked bird meat compressed into a couple of bales.

    • Sasquatch aka Bigfoot is a main character of Marvel Comic’s series Alpha Flight.

      As for the chupacabra, he was “taken care of” along with Bigfoot last time Red Dead Redemption was played.

      • Not gonna lie, that one was a stretch. If it had said Marvel nerds, or Alpha Flight fans I would have immediately made the connection, but “Comic Con” is pretty unspecific. I like it, though.

        Also, there’s something very fun about hijacking a gun blog with comics and crypt zoology.

        • “Not gonna lie, that one was a stretch.”

          Agreed, was the best that this one(self reference) could concoct, though. In all seriousness, it would seem that the author associates all things esoteric and strange/ridiculous to her with comic book nerds(this is merely an extrapolation and not meant to be pejorative in anyway).

          “If it had said Marvel nerds, or Alpha Flight fans I would have immediately made the connection, but “Comic Con” is pretty unspecific.”

          Well, I don’t believe that was the author’s intention. This one(self reference) wouldn’t expect her to be an Alpha Flight fan.

          “I like it, though.”

          Thank you, the compliments of a fellow comic connoisseur are always appreciated.

          “Also, there’s something very fun about hijacking a gun blog with comics and crypt zoology.”

          Indeed, it’s alway entertaining to muse on such things that allow one to escape the mundanities of life and revert to more youthful entertainment. Going off topic is just a bonus, after all, the author left this path open when she mentioned “Big Foot” & “Comic Con nerds”.

    • Because nerds like to dress up like furry creatures. I’m also a huge comic con fan BTW

  6. Got a friend that use to live near the Ute reservation in Roosevelt Utah. After spending a couple weekends hangin’ around drinkin’ and swapping stories with some of the locals, he is now afraid to go out in the hills at night without a 12 gauge.

    Bigfoot, the wendigo and skin walkers have been added to his ever growing list of fears. Aliens, the goatman, his wife and werewolves(which he carries around a derringer in 45 colt with, shit ya not, silver bullets just in case) were already something he was terrified of.

    • That guy sounds incredible. I’ve never even heard of any goatman, though the rest I’m familiar with.

      And I gotta say, I cracked up when I read “his wife” in the list of bloodthirsty mythical creatures that haunt his dreams.

      • “That guy sounds incredible. I’ve never even heard of any goatman, though the rest I’m familiar with.”

        Yeah, Ol’ Yohan Skinner is quite the guy, a tad daft in the head some days though.

        The goatman is a local legend around where he grew up. The story goes that the beast is a quasi incarnation of Satan, and somehow a bridge got thrown into the tale. There are two such bridges in the area, these are where the goatman is purported to appear. He shows up at night, in a rain jacket offering to assist stranded motorists that breakdown near the bridge. At first the creature looks like an ordinary man, eventually though he will be found to have features reminiscent of a satyr. Finally if his help isn’t declined………he drags the unfortunate victim into the depths of hell.

        Skinner wouldn’t cross goat man bridge at night to save his life.

        Yohan’s wife can get quite nightmarish when she finds that he’s been drinking and spouting apocryphal inanities. When this happens, she typically gets out the broom to use on him. Oftentimes, one can hardly blame her.

    • I watched Supernatural, so I know to carry salt with me at all times.
      Seriously, I put this here because I wanted to see all the comments.

      • lol

        Apologies but Esoteric Inanity is by nature cryptically nonsensical, such as his use of illeism and metonymy. However, the author’s articles are always entertaining and much appreciated for their informative content.

  7. Alligators don’t actually wear boots. Took a ten year study by Texas A&M to discover that for a fact.

    • Also, the cattle guards in Wyoming are not on the Fed’s payroll. At least that’s what Bill Clinton ostensibly discovered in his endeavors to cut federal expenditures.

  8. Anyone that thinks a buck is harmless needs to think twice. We have tame deer on the property ii work and I give them a wide path, especially in the rut. I’m surprised he didn’t get the antlers to the face.

  9. I love that picture of the deer in the harvester. I’ve had this discussion a few times with vegans/vegetarians who are such due to a moral/personal belief about the sanctity of animal life. There have been a few studies (my memory says out of Texas A&M) comparing beef, chicken and pork production to the more common cereal/staple crops (corn, wheat, soybean, sorghum, etc). Their conclusion was that to generate the same number of calories, the plant farming causes the death of dozens of times more animals. Put another way, to kill one cow, you cause one death, and get thousands and thousands of calories of meat. To get the same number of calories of (insert favorite crop here), there are dozens of birds, mice, deer, snakes, etc killed, either being caught in harvesting equipment like the deer shown above, or burned out of a field, or displaced when their habitat (nest, burrow etc) is destroyed by farming activity. And thats not even counting insects. So bottom like the vegans and vegetarians are actually causing MORE death and pain to animals than us meat-eaters. Who knew.

  10. If a NY biologist says it doesn’t exist, you can bet somewhere it does. Never trust anything said by a Cuomo-lead government…..

  11. The size of that boar in number 8… holy sh!t.
    Need a good pole weapon (spear, pike, halbred) as a backup with those things.

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