By now, the whole zombie apocalypse thing isn’t a matter of if any more. It’s really just a matter of when. The stories of naked face-eaters continue to pile up. And they’re not even bothering to keep up that ‘bath salts’ pretense any more. But never fear because every prepper’s friend, Optics Planet, has just come out with the first all-in-one World War Z comprehensive survival package that’s designed not only to keep you alive once the stiffs get the munchies, but to help you find a cure for the virulent menace that’s sure to walk the earth . . .

That’s right, their new Z.E.R.O. (Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations) Kit is the first full-spectrum post-ZHTF survival solution. Just add your own firearms, food and water and these 49 top-of-the-line items will keep you equipped for any eventuality. From high end optics and reloading gear to lab equipment, night vision and solar power, this package will keep you at the top of the food chain shooting down at the shambling hordes until you can come up with a vaccine to end the undead advance once and for all.

Sure, all this top notch gear will cost you a pretty penny now ($23,999) but since money won’t do you much good anyway once the brain eaters are pounding at your door, can you really put a price on survival? Besides, how many credit card collectors will be left to hassle you once the zombies hit the fan anyway?

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13 COMMENTS

  2. Suitable for SOME type of award………funny as F#@! I was having a crappy day; thanks for giving me a silly smile, I truly needed it…still giggling…..

  3. I wish I had a job that allowed me to create bullshit all day long. I want to know how many of those EOTechs with the bio hazard reticule have been sold.

  4. There’s only one thing to do…tally up the individual costs of each item and compare to the $24,000 bargain 🙂

      • Using a notepad, choosing the lowest cost version of each option, and rounding off some rough edges, my grand total came to $25,005 and 0 cents. Shipping must be astronomical on this kit. Of all the categories, glass came in the highest at around ten grand…big surprise.

        As the sole reviewer so eloquently waxed “YES! This+ three wolf moon shirt = indestructible zombie killing juggernaut.”

        Warning: my math sucks and YMMV

    • Things I don’t understand:

      OFWGs wondering why younger generations don’t enjoy their sport as much.

      OFWGs complaining about marketing aimed at younger generations.

  6. Z-Day aside,
    This really made me want to go shopping on optics planet. That guy with the ball bat testing the battlemug has a great job!!!

  7. Not really seeing the use of the science tools, those are hella expensive and if you dont know how to use them?!? Im guessing its going to take more than a microscope and a piepette tumbler to find the cure in the apocalypse. /sarc

  8. Years ago, I sold a guy a $10,000 stereo tuner. Later, I sold a couple a $308,000 engagement ring and matching bracelet. It is amazing what some people can and will spend money on. I wonder if that couple is still married?

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