(courtesy evoke.ie)

Parents in the US are naming their babies after GUNS the headline screams at Ireland’s evoke.ie, hovering above an incendiary image of a young girl reaching for a handgun. [Note: she needs that extended mag like she needs a hole in the head.] “Gung ho parents in the US are naming their kids after weapons and guns,” the article begins. I wonder how Galen English resisted the urge to write “Gun ho parents in the US.” Maybe Ms. English thought using the word “ho” with the “gung” prefix would have labelled her racist. Anyway, “More children are being given names related to guns, knives, historical warriors, dark goddesses and macho movie stars, according to a survey by [an ironically unnamed] US baby name website. Shooting its way to the top of the list [ED: Atta girl!] . . .

Gunner, which was given to more than 1,500 babies in the US last year.

Whoa! Only 1500 Gunners out of just under four million U.S. births. That’s not exactly what I’d call a trend – although I’m not a left-leaning elitist writing in a country where only the police, terrorists and aristocratic grouse hunters have guns. More to the point … no wait, that is my point.

Here’s another one. If you’re going to make gun – I mean, fun of American baby names, there’s plenty of non-firearms fodder. Gunner (which could very well be an Americanization of the Nordic Gunnar) is nowhere near as popular in America as . . . wait for it . . . Bethzy. Or Jamarion. Or Sincere. No really.

Ms. English – saddled as she is with an unfortunate surname for any Irishwoman working for a Dublin-based website – felt compelled to evoke the specter of American “gun violence” in her revelation that some Yanks opt for ballistic baby names. Like this . . .

Also on the rise in the US – a nation which has seen significant gun violence this year – for baby boys are Trigger, Shooter, Caliber, Magnum and Pistol. There has also been a rise in the use of gun manufacturers such as Barrett, Remington, Kimber, Ruger, Wesson, Browning, Benelli and Beretta.

Other weapons are also finding favour as baby names.

The traditional Lance has been joined by Mace, Blade, Saw and Dagger, whilst Sabre has been trending for girls.

Define “significant.” One thing’s for sure: this article ain’t it. Funny though, in its own special way. Did you know that “Galen” means tranquil? How apt is that? [h/t AM]

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107 COMMENTS

  1. Haven’t met a kid with a gun name other than some guy who had Beretta as a last name.
    The weird named ones I’ve met are either ghetto trash or euro trash.
    Just a moment ago I got done talking to a euro trash couple who named their kid Thor.

    I certainly wouldn’t put it past some idiot to name their kid Blade.

      • In our household, we happen to be in a period of selecting both baby names and dog names. So who knows? There could be some crossover appeal with some names like Gunner, Ruger, maybe Ranger. I’m open to it.

    • One of the strippers at my bachelor party was named Kimber! I asked and she said it was in fact after the firearm manufacturer.

      Thinking about it now, that was a pretty good way to put potential stalkers on notice.

    • My deceased grandfathers name is Kimber. He was 98 when he passed and that was probably 15 years ago so I don’t believe he was named after the firearm. My sister was named Kimberlee after him.

  3. Named after guns…that were named after their designers….who are, you know, people.

    And Gunnar/Gunnarr/Gunner has been a norse name of note since at least the 5th century. Which was, if I recall correctly, probably before guns.

    • My last name is Palm. When I came home from Vietnam, I was determined to name my first son Nelson Alexander. Got it? N.A.Palm? The bride undetermined me. Poo.

        • Actually, the loadout I was working with most of the time, off the alert pad, was referred to as “Snake and nape”, Mk82 snakeye bombs (when dropped, 4 fins deployed to slow the descent, like a metal parachute) and 750 lb Napalm. I wanted at first to name a daughter “Snake” (which I kinda liked), but eventually decided on my own that naming a daughter after a 500-lb retarded bomb wouldn’t win me much affection from said daughter, so I gave it up.

  6. It’s funny, I have a long list of co-workers in Ireland that can’t wait to come to Austin and go to the gun range with me because they never shot a gun and want to desperately.

    Seems the citizens have a very different frame of mind from their press.

    • My family has a lot of friends and acquaintances from Asian, (Korea, Japan, Taiwan, and China mainly), I get asked to take most of them shooting when they visit. The most common comment, especially for the ladies is something along the lines of, “I thought that was going to be scary but it wasn’t at all!”

    • They should be used to it by now. The English disarmed the peasants after they conquered the Isle centuries ago.

    • As a Uber driver I get asked all the time by foreign travelers where the local gun range was because in their countries they are denied the right to firearms.

  7. Because every child named Harley will totally be a black leather clad thug dealing meth from a motorcycle saddlebag.

  10. I’ve known a few Hunters, Archer, Gunner, I knew a Colton, and I think a Colty, I thought about Barret as a boys name but my last name is B——– so it sounded more like a stutter.

  12. ” [Note: she needs that extended mag like she needs a hole in the head.]”

    Last time I checked I have 5 holes in my head and they are all necessary…

  14. If I ever have a boy, I’d name him Winchester Lewis, or Chesty for short. It covers three greats; the guns, and one of the most badass Marines of all time.

  18. I’ve shot a few times with a federal agent (I won’t name which agency) whose first name is Barrett – guy is at least 35 years old, so I think that pretty much rules out any inspiration from Ronnie Barrett’s company. He’s a really nice guy and an excellent shot.

  20. Wasn’t there something in the news late last year or early this year about the deaf kid getting in trouble for signing his name? Wasn’t his name Hunter? Does that count on Ms Tranquility’s list?

    • Yes. The variation of sign language he used had his name signed in the form of a finger gun . The parents were asked if they would choose another name to use in class because you know ..for the children. His parents promptly presented another finger gesture. Once the Americans with disabilities act was referenced the problem vanished.

  21. Could this really be any worse than some of the other idiotic names that I have heard and seen in the past few years ? How about people naming their kids something that won’t make them look like their parents are idiots ? Some of these names look funny and unique when the kid is young but make the kids feel like total outcasts when at school and other public places. What is the point in all of these weird names anyway? I suppose the next step will be for the schools to ban anyone with a “Gun Name” to enroll or attend classes. If they can do with that with finger pointing then why not gun names ?

    • Many of those idiotic names come from the narcissistic leftist jewels of colossal ignorance we know as Hollywood celebs: Apple, Rumer, Scout, Tallulah, and the classics Dweezle and Moon Unit. 🙂

  22. Chip: I was thinking the same thing – what if one of those names runs afoul of “zero tolerance” rules in school? Can they never even set foot on school grounds?

  23. BTW, whoever took the picture of that cute little girl reaching for a gun is a total idiot. Probably someone that wants everyone to lock up all of their guns. So, they encourage this very young person to reach for a gun, like it is a toy, for a photo op to promote their propaganda. Whoever shot that photo is likely a hypocrite.

  24. A kid named anything firearms is better than naming a kid North West, even phenox or raven or Jennings is better, but maybe not Hi-point.

  26. Ha! My son’s name is Gunnar… with an “A.” He’s 14 years old, so we were way ahead of the “trend.”

    Though many people (who know me) assume that the name was derived from my enthusiasm / passion for firearms, it is not.

    First… it is nearly the Swedish equivalent of “John” in terms of commonality in that country. But, no… we aren’t Swedish, either. The fact is my wife knew a kid by that name when she was young and thought it was a cool name. When she proposed it as the name of our first child, I immediately took to it… again, not because I “like guns.” It was because I liked the name. It was different (not trendy). There wouldn’t be 4 of them in his 1st grade class. And, it was masculine. Winner, winner!

  27. My son’s name is Wyatt, and my youngest daughter’s first and middle initials are A.K. Go soak your head Ms. English.

    @RF, that pistol is an HK P2000sk. A fine shooter to be sure, but it’s a 2-finger grip, so the P2000 or P30 mag with X-grip is a welcome thing for range time. Flat floor plates for CCW, naked P30 mags for reload.

  28. Bob Glass (who at least used to own a gun shop in Colorado) named his dog Uzi.

    I also know someone who named his cat AK (which didn’t really seem to fit, honestly).

    One neighborhood well east of here has street names like gunbarrel and ramrod.

  31. Idiotic names?
    Two words:
    Plaxico.
    Burress.

    Autocorrect almost won’t allow you to type that on an iPhone.

  34. I wonder how many folks have wanted, or actually named their kids after an ex sweetheart they had in the past.
    Have you ever found yourself immediately liking someone you see on a TV program or movie, just because of fond memories you had of someone of that name in the past?

    Not about naming kids, but I’ve always wanted a mean looking dog named “Boogger”

    • I fairly recently discovered that one of my exes named a child after me — I find it fairly disturbing…

  36. Whatever folks name their kids is OK with me(well except the creepy gal who named her kids Santanus & Lucious after satan)…My kid named his girls(middle) names Faith,Hope and Grace. My 4 sons all have Irish names just because they sounded good to me. I ain’t having any more(I hope!) but the gun thing sounds great to me…

  37. Used to be a guy, kind of a problem child in my town, names something like Winchester Sharps Colt Spencer III.
    Yup. The third…

  38. Barrett, Wesson, Ruger, Remington and the like wouldn’t be too bad, especially as middle names. I shudder for the child whose first name is “Glock,” though.

  39. I don’t understand why anyone would give their kid the same name as their own, such as John Jr. Not that I think it is wrong, I just wouldn’t want to have “Junior” tacked on the end of my name all the time.
    Women don’t seem to have this problem??

    • Guys also have names like “Dick,” “Rod” and “Peter.” And yet I never met a woman named . . . nah, I ain’t goin’ there.

    • My brother, dad, grandpa and great grandfather were all named Rudolf. It’s tradition in our family to give this name to second son as far back as memory reaches. But Czechs don’t use suffixes, so no jr. or II.
      I know families with Josef or Petr or Pavel in each generation.

  40. Since my last name is Lamb, I kinda like the name Savage. That way someone talking about my kid would have to say “That little Savage….

  41. Volunteer w/Golden Retriever Rescue organization. Went small town shelter to evaluate/transport a male Golden, dog was huge, 90 pounder at minimum. There was a guy there that was visiting his girl friend who worked there. Big guy with lots of tats and rode in on a Harley Davidson motorcycle, actually pretty nice guy. He volunteered to load the shelter dog into my SUV. While walking the dog from kennel to my car, guy asked me “what’s his name” Told him I was giving the dog the name “Harley” cause he is as big as a Harley hog, he really liked that! Later Harley was adopted by a family with last name of Davidson. So there is a dog out there named after a motorcycle. But our organization has named a Golden “Ruger” Next big dog we get want to name it Colt

  42. “… Note: she needs that extended mag like she needs a hole in the head. …”

    I see what you did there.

    Coincidentally, I’ve been listening to a Dublin talk radio show on the intertubes all week while at work. This type of breathless indignation (not that it wouldn’t be otherwise) comes as no surprise.

    Somebody make sure this topic gets over to Quora in some way, shape or form so that enthusiastic American-bashing can commence.

  44. My son is named Remington. Ten years old. My pregnant wife asked me what to name him when i got back from chootn. I wanted his middle name to be danger but that was pushing it i guess.

  45. I expect that being stuck with a man’s first name and the last name of a country most Irish hate has made her hypersensitive about anything to do with names.

  46. Sounds like a phony controversy to me. Then again, there are people who sift through the vanity license plate databases, searching for one to be offended by, which they can then complain to the state about. So who knows? Maybe some people do likewise with the Social Security Admn’s baby names site and gun-related names?

    Maybe it’s not such a bad thing? Hear me out. Maybe there should be some name-shaming out there. If you name your kid after a character in a cotton candy movie, you’re an idiot (Bella? Seriously?), and deserve some grief, which might spare the next kid some grief.

    Would some gun names end up as collateral damage? I don’t know, maybe? But if it saves just one Jamarcus, it’s worth it. #stupidnamesdon’tmatter

  47. my sons names are Spencer, Remington, Colton, & Parker Magnum. All gotten off of TV Spenser for Hire, Remington Steele, Jack T Colton (hero of the book in Romancing the Stone) and Parker Stevens (star of Simon & Simon) and Magnum PI.

  48. On the subject of knife names, paging Dirk,

    Also I heard there actually are people with the llast name Garand and Mossberg!!!!! oh my gosh oh my gosh!

    • I used to go through this little berg all the time. Population never changed. Every time a baby was born, some guy left town!

  50. I’ve got buddies who everyone calls them by gun names. Like an Israeli friend everyone calls Uzi because his name is real name Uziel. Or a guy everyone calls Archer and his real name is Archibald. Or another guy everyone calls Hunt since his last name is Huntington and first name is Ashley. He’s a big guy and he hates the being called by his first name.

  51. Gotta jump in on this one. No more kids for my wife and me, but I can dream, can’t I?

    So, three sons to name. The first: Hunter. The second: Gatherer. And the last: Subsistance Farmer.

  52. I once worked for a man named Ruger, we made some fine golf clubs ( Calaway big bertha’s) and some guns,lots and lots of guns.

  54. When I was in a ‘Corps I once saw a fellow with the last name of Shotgunn. Years later, I am still jealous of that last name.

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