Carmel DeAmicis (courtesy gigacom.com)

“Cuddlr is a location-based social-meeting app for cuddling,” cuddlrapp.com explains. “Find people near you who are up for a cuddle. Have a cuddle with them. No pressure.” What could possibly go wrong? A question gigaom.com journalist Carmel DeAmicis set out to answer. Reading the headline above the article – I snuggled with a stranger using new app Cuddlr, and my fellow cuddlee had a gun – you’d know that Ms. DeAmicis wasn’t the gun-toter in this close encounter of the Apple walled garden kind. Not so smart, eh? And you might think she penned an anti-gun piece. Nope. Here’s how it went down, gun-wise . . .

We cracked beers and hung out in the kitchen for awhile, chatting with relative ease. We talked about life, and what led us to the Cuddlr app – she lost a close family member last week and was looking for something to take her mind off it. We talked about safety and security and the city, and she confessed that she checked the rooms in her home every night with a gun before she went to sleep.

“You’re not a serial killer are you?”

Monica, My fellow cuddlee

There’s nothing you want to hear more when meeting a stranger you’re going to cuddle with than that they have a gun. I had never actually seen one in person, aside from on a cop’s holster, so she led me into the bedroom and took it out from its hiding place, discharging the holster before teaching me how to aim. As I held its weight in my hand, I thought – I am the world’s biggest idiot for walking into a stranger’s home. Sure, I had set up a safety system with my colleague to call the cops if she hadn’t heard from me, but a lot could happen before that.

Cuddlr creator Williams agreed when I told him about it later. “That sounds terrifying,” Williams said. “You should meet up in person and have one of the many types of cuddles that preserve your personal space. That is the best way to manage the risk of cuddling with a new person.”

Sigh. There just had to be some anti-gun hysteria somewhere in the piece. But there mostly isn’t. In fact, the gun fondling seems to have been Ms. DeAmicis’ favorite part of the girl-on-girl action (or lack thereof).

The rest of my hangout with Monica was sweet and uneventful. After she taught me how to hold a gun – awesome – we spooned on the bed for awhile. I was the big spoon, in case you’re wondering. I pet her head, later she massaged my shoulders. It wasn’t too awkward, although it wasn’t the most comfortable situation I’ve ever been in.

So what could have easily been a prime example of anti-gun agitprop – connecting dangerous encounters with dangerous weapons – instead became a gun normalization article. Now that’s what I call winning. Now, shall we talk about the best carry rig for first-time cuddling?

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

126 COMMENTS

  1. Yeah, cuddling with a stranger.. Not gonna happen. There are loony men and women out there.. Not to mention hard core criminals. I’ll pass. If I’m going to cuddle, it’ll be with someone I know, thank you..

      • Have three Golden Retrievers and they give best cuddles. Also since no opposable thumb, they can’t shoot.

        Come from German/Scottish lines. Barely hug one another, much less cuddle complete strangers!

        • @Steve

          They also can’t pick you up from the hospital, feed themselves, talk, give advice, help pay the bills, go out to dinner with you, help wake you up in time for work if your alarm clock breaks, etc etc.

          Not saying you’re wrong, just saying sometimes the baggage is worth it.

      • I haven’t missed cuddling with someone since my divorce. My last couple girlfriends were cuddlers and my current girl thinks “cuddling” is a waste of time when we could be doing something much much more enjoyable (like going shooting, get your mind out of the gutter, ok that too). Cuddling with strangers in their home is insane, PERIOD. It’s like someone thought “How can we make it easier for rapists, kidnappers, and all around scumbags to abduct people?”. What about the spread of disease? Ringworm? Lice? Bedbugs? Somebody didn’t think this through before they said ” Duh, Lets make an app for that!”.

        I have a English Mastiff, an American English Coonhound (I know, dumb name but he’s a rescue), a Danish Chicken Dog, and our favorite an American Pit Bull named Luci-Fur(the names a joke, she’s the sweetest dog of them all). The Pit and Coonhound (he’s the baby at 9 months) always end up on the bed with us. My girl started calling it “Pile Sleeping’ even though it’s sort of cuddling. The Mastiff has her own bed and she’s too old to be jumping up while the Chicken Dog is a cave dweller that has always slept under the end table or under the couch. If someone wants to cuddle that bad get a dog. Dogs have a hard time attaching handcuffs, handling weapons, locking doors, using duct tape, and are about 100% less dangerous than some weirdo that wants to cuddle with a perfect stranger!

    • So you though you would go to a stranger’s house to cuddle? Scenarios like this always make me say “No one could possible be that stupid” yet there you have it, stupidity in all its glory.

      • A stranger with a GUN no less…oooh the horrors.

        At least she wasn’t hoplophobic running from the home in a panic. Maybe if some ‘gun sense’ ‘common sense’ S/A from her new snuggle friend rubs off on her, there might be hope for DeAmicis yet.

        • ‘Course this discussion isn’t complete without mentioning the security risk of sharing that you keep a gun available in your home with a complete one night stand snuggle bunny stranger as the gun owning ‘snuggle friend’ did in this case.

          I wonder if ‘snuggle friend’ took the precaution of unloading and clearing the weapon before handing it off to DeAmicis to “hold”.

    • Not terribly surprised that our primary and university school systems produces a society that finds value in such an app.

      Wondering what will come first….

      A) a rape and dismemberment story
      or
      B) a billion dollar buyout by Facebook

  2. Sure, I had set up a safety system with my colleague to call the cops if she hadn’t heard from me, but a lot could happen before that.

    My eyes! The light-bulb finally clicking on over her head is too bright!

    • Some ‘safety system’… the cops could hopefully find your body. If you have to warn your friend that she may need to call the cops to come help you, maybe you should rethink what you’re doing.

      • It’s standard procedure for many girls when dating strangers (and usually people are strangers on a first date). Shit happens.

    • Or “I had a body recovery system in place..” I need to get back to work on my spaceship, this planet is too weird.

  3. Wow… what a shelterred life I must live. Cuddlr? An app to finf strangers to invite into your/thier home for close personal contact? Think I will pass.

  4. My head hurts sooooo much after reading this for so many reasons. Damn, I need my morning coffee and some Advil.

    • Agreed. Some idiot sat somewhere and thought that this was a good idea.

      And then other idiots joined in…

      • You’d be surprised.

        People, especially women are growing to publicly accept the power of human contact.

        When I was in college, I had a platonic cuddle buddy and there were a few girls I knew who liked to come over just to cuddle while watching a movie or fall asleep next to me while I played video games.

        It wasn’t sexual and didn’t turn into that sort of thing.

        People like to feel safe, and as many women will admit, quite a few ladies feel safer being around a guy they trust.

        • Wow, I thought I was the only one who ever did that (sleep with a girl in college without, ahhh, “sleeping” with her, I mean).

        • @ Another Robert

          I think it’s not super common, but still a lot of guys don’t talk about it because they (correctly) feel some less self-confident guys will call them metrosexual or something.

          I think it’s healthy to have female friends and prove that we can think using our heads and not our penises.

          Not only that, pairing higher brain functions and a reputation of being a gentleman along with a healthy dose of legitimate testosterone makes for some interesting female attention.

          A lot of my male friends don’t understand why I still get female attention. I’m definitely not as fit as I once was, and I’ve never been especially nice…

          I think a lot can be said for women’s intuition and empathy. Women can pick up on things that men will be blind to till the day we die. I think that is pretty cool, but if push came to shove I think I still prefer being able to open my own jars. 😉

        • “People like to feel safe, and as many women will admit, quite a few ladies feel safer being around a guy they trust.”

          Key difference between what you are describing and this stupid create-a-victim app is the “trust” part.

          Friends hanging out together is very, very different than strangers doing it. What the hell happened to people keeping their address and stuff secret until they built trust in another person?

          This kind of app/social networking is an example of the decline of “personal space” and “intimacy.”

          Any port in a storm mentality with precisely ZERO vetting…even less vetting than meeting a one night stand in a bar. Yeah. This will turn out well.

        • @JR

          I trusted my girlfriend when I first met her after talking to her on the internet for a while. We’ve been together 5 years now.

          I don’t know how old you are and I won’t make any assumptions, but this could be a generational thing. Some of my older friends just don’t see online interaction as /real/. On the other hand, I trust some people I have online friendships with more than people I’ve known in person for years. Quite a few people I know who are my age or younger met someone they met online and considered themselves to be seriously dating from the first day.

          If the people using an app or a site to cuddle are just randomly meeting each other, sure there is no trust there. However, if they talk for a bit first or text prior to meeting, it’s not the same at all.

        • “I trusted my girlfriend when I first met her after talking to her on the internet for a while. We’ve been together 5 years now.”

          Doesn’t sound like that’s what this app is about.

          Yeah, I’m older (no offense taken) and yeah, to a degree I see ‘meeting online’ as not quite real. There are a lot of reasons for that. One big one is you have NO IDEA if the information being provided to you is accurate at all.

          Yes, that problem exists with face-to-face meeting (like a bar or a party), but there are other additional clues: facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, observing how the person interacts with others (his friends, bartender, your friends, other strangers, the person she accidentally bumped into coming out of the bathroom, etc) that ALL factor into ‘building trust.’ None of that is authentically provided on the Internet…it can all be faked – and very easily – if it is provided at all.

          At the very least, meeting a person online can (should?) take a LOT longer to build trust. We are less evolved (as a species) to discern the patterns of deception via online communication than we are at discerning those patterns IRL.

          Can one build trust online? Sure. But two big points stand out. First, there’s always that niggling doubt that the person deceived or duped. Second, and the tricky one…the transition from “online friend” to “real friend” is risky, and perhaps dangerous.

          “Meeting” online adds a layer of social complexity; it does not reduce social complexity. For relationships that are and are to remain online, it does not really matter. For ones that are to transition to ‘real meeting,’ the hazards (emotional and physical) are very real.

          No offense, but I do wonder if “younger folks” recognize this difference clearly enough to put it into practice. I kinda doubt it sometimes. I think the comfort one feels with ‘chatting online’ (where there is no real danger at all) translates to misplaced trust and comfort in the real physical world where the cost of being wrong is very high.

          To paraphrase the dude on a commercial a few years ago, “In real life, there is no “ignore” button.”

          This app sounds like a very bad idea to me, and this comes from someone that has been “online” since the 1980’s.

        • @JR

          Honestly, I think you make some excellent points.

          However, as I’ve explained to some of my friends, online interactions carry their own “rules” and ways to feel people out now. I had to learn the hard way in the past, but these days it is much easier to vet people, especially using webcams and such.

          One thing I absolutely agree on is that meeting people online carries its own unique pros and cons but for good or ill, it’s here to stay and it’s becoming the social norm.

          Even some of my upper management now have met their spouses and significant others off of dating sites, chat rooms, and games. In fact, there isn’t as much of a stigma attached to couples who met on World of Warcraft anymore.

          I am barely young enough to be part of the completely inundated with information, always-on generation. It’s hard to explain why I feel so comfortable meeting people online. All that said, intellectually I acknowledge and agree with the fact that as a species, our morality and social interactions have not caught up with our new technology yet.

  7. They already had an app for cuddling. It was called the wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend/kid(s)/dog/cat app. You had to put in a little legwork like actually caring for the person/animal and being nice to them for awhile before getting to the cuddling part, but it actually worked pretty well. Didn’t have it on iTunes though…

  11. We are officially heading down the road of becoming as weirdly disconnected and socially estranged as Japan. How did it get to this point?

    • We give our children IPhones at age 10 so they can learn for themselves how to interact only with people who are too far away to actually interact with. Then when they become young adults they don’t have any social skills. When they do want to have physical contact the only way they can think is to reach out to the people that are safe when they are too far away to be a threat.

    • We’ve spent–depending on how you want to count–80 years dismantling the social supports that every generation born before 1870 took for granted.

      Having financial problems? Don’t look to your family or your church or your fraternity or your mutual aid society. Just go on welfare.

      Having trouble with your marriage? Don’t call your mom, your pastor or your sister. Just get a no-fault divorce. (Certain parties get great parting gifts in this exchange.)

      Finding having a child inconvenient right now? Don’t figure it out the way your ancestors all did, get an abortion. Or choose a life of voluntary barrenness. Now go back to step one because you don’t have a family to depend on if things get difficult.

      Now, in 2014, are you longing for social contact and the human touch? Sorry, there’s no way to indulge that short of acting like you’re the mother of a dog (!), joining the hookup culture or downloading Cuddlr.

      This is all working out very well for the permanent bureaucracy. As usual, the most vulnerable in our society get hosed.

      • Very well said.

        Instant gratification as a goal is very dangerous. People that want all the benefits of $GIVEN_SOCIAL_INTERACTION with none of the effort it takes to get it are short circuiting all human physical and cultural evolution up to this point.

        Things like trust take time to develop for a reason. Buying it with how someone filled out a profile in an “app” is an illusion at best.

    • I believe it’s known as “technological and social progress”. People have been decrying its existence and consequences pretty much forever – at least for as long as we had writing, since we still have a bunch of that kind of stuff about disrespectful youth who don’t know how to live their lives properly from some Egyptian and Greek dudes from several millenia ago.

      TL;DR: we’ll live.

  14. Post pictures or it didn’t happen . . . . .

    But seriously, how friggin’ weird can you get? A cuddle from a stranger? While I am mildly amused that my dear sweet Shannon would embrace technology should I be in the Indianapolis area, how dumb can you be to meet someone and let them into your personal space without knowing anything about them but their email???

      • Really?

        Not to defend one night stands or anything, but at least they are based on real face-to-face interaction and all the subtle clues that brings to the table. Yes, people are wrong from time to time (they rolled their dice), but statistically, more information tends to equal at least the chance for better decisions.

        If this app is such a good idea, why not just hang a poster down at the gas station with your address that says “Free Cuddles.” You can leave your front door unlocked.

        Not the same thing? App lets you vet candidates? No, not really. The info is too easy to falsify and there’s no way to know it. Can’t even trust the ‘like count’ or whatever, as that can be faked, too. (It’s just a number in a database).

        • @JR

          I already responded to you above, but let’s consider.

          Most chicks I know who have done the one night stand thing were in various state of intoxication while making their decision making. People using a cuddle app will be stone cold sober.

          Also, and I am being honest here, I can glean more about a person in 10 minutes of rapid fire texting than I can in an hour of conversation.

          People tend to be much more straightforward and uninhibited using IMs or texts, plus just seeing how a person writes can lend social clues.

          It’s a skill, and I’d argue that it’s an even more complex and nuanced social skill than meeting people face to fact.

          Honestly it’s why I still prefer not to text my older friends (who text). They don’t completely understand the etiquette nor how some people may interpret some of the things they text. While I know them and can understand what they are saying and in what tone, it still grates on me.

          It’s hard to explain.

  15. “took it out from its hiding place, discharging the holster before teaching me how to aim. ”

    “Discharging the holster” ??????????????

    • The only thing I can figure she meant was, “Removed the magazine” but didn’t know the right terminology. She admits to never having seen a gun before, except in a police officer’s holster.

      • Yes, but she clearly knows what a holster is. Even the most gun-ignorant person would have said “took out the bullets” or something like that. Then again, this is a person who shows up at a stranger’s house to cuddle because her iPhone said it was okay, so maybe she’s not super smart.

        Still, she had a positive experience with a stranger and a gun. This one goes in the “W” column, in spite of the abject stupidity of the entire exercise.

  16. The idea of lying down with a total stranger is mind boggling….. Go visit the app website and read about the founder. He doesn’t sound like a guy who has even the slightest situational awareness.

    “Before working as a developer, he was a classical pianist and film composer, ran an Argentine tango studio, and received a Finnish cultural knighthood.”

    John Davies
    Spokane WA USA

      • Hey, no spreading doubts about slaying dragons! I have it on great authority (Alexandre Dumas, no less) that one of my ancestors DID slay a dragon in a wood in France. It’s TRUE! You can look it up (Lyderic, legends of Flanders).

  17. I remember back in my good ol high school days my parents warned me of the dangers of MySpace, mainly meeting up with strangers. I replied in a I know it all fashion with who would be so dumb? Apparently, many many people would be.

    • I met my x on myspace.

      I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me how meeting someone online is any more dangerous than meeting someone at a club or the the grocery store.

      A stranger is a stranger regardless of where you meet them.

      My suggestion is don’t take take advice on how to use technology from people who have no experience with new technology.

      • “I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me how meeting someone online is any more dangerous than meeting someone at a club or the the grocery store.

        A stranger is a stranger regardless of where you meet them.”

        Addressed this above, but will outline here as well.

        (1) You have NO IDEA if the “online” info you are getting from someone is at all true or not. The falseness of a face-to-face encounter is much easier to discern, as we have 100,000+ years of development in our brains helping out with that.

        (2) The cost of being wrong “online” is virtually zero, so you are not directly invested in making such discernments. Thus, you can build up trust falsely.

        When an interaction then goes “live,” the trust that has not, in fact, been earned is much higher than it should be. Now, in the physical world, the cost of being wrong is VERY high, yet the signals are (can be) attenuated due to the false trust already given.

        (3) You are using the word “meet” to mean two different things. You don’t really “meet” someone online and in real life the same way. Online, you meet an icon or an avatar and only what that person chooses to share.

        Certain things that can be dangerous can be easily hidden.

        (4) I’ve posed as others online as part of investigations to catch a felon (a violent rapist). I know how easy it can be for a skilled (or semi-skilled but observant) person to say “what the other wants to hear” and how much easier it is to get away with that without eye contact and body language throwing a wrench in the works like a face-to-face meeting with a ‘stranger’ would.

        In other words, I’d be a TERRIBLE liar face-to-face. I never could fool women into thinking I was something I’m not. But, I have successfully fooled men and women online when that was part of my job.

        And, here’s the thing. I knew I could not “be” that fake person when the meeting went “real life,” so a substitute had to be made. Now, think about that. Leads to the next point…

        (5) You have NO IDEA the person you are meeting is really the person you “met” online. There is no way to be sure. Or, just as threatening, there’s no way to know that someone else has not intercepted the “meeting” information and beats you to the meeting. Etc.

        • Once again, very interesting and insightful stuff here.

          I don’t fundamentally disagree with you…

          But social norms have changed – for good or ill.

          Plus, nobody talks to each other anymore. True story, I know girls and I have encountered girls who will not give out their number anymore. If they meet someone in person, they will give their skype information or email.

          Reason? It’s considered safer. Plus, these days people have cell phones with numbers they never change. That phone number follows them the rest of their life. It’s a lot easier to block someone on an IM program than ignore calls or change your number.

  18. Lady reporter at party: “She’s been seeing a shrink for years”
    Crocodile Dundee: “What, she doesn’t have any mates?’
    Lonely, sad people out there, people. Treat everyone nicely and ask them to the range for a first “getting to know you”. Maybe you’ll become their “friend in need, indeed”, and make a friend for all POG.

    • Hell, I’m 19, I’m typing this reply on my phone (with my laptop sitting on my lap and my Playstation controller sitting beside me), and even I couldn’t believe it. I thought for sure it was just a casual sex finder, but it really does seem to be about just cuddling. With random strangers. For people who apparently don’t value their lives or their dignity. Jesus Christ.

  21. If Initiative 594 passes in Washington state this would be considered an “Illegal Transfer”. Go in for the cuddle and come out a felon. Sound like “common sense” to me.

  22. Wow…as an OFWG (who used to get way more than my share of the ladies) this may be the pinnacle of loser culture. Yeah all those women happened in the 70’s and 80’s but DAMN this is stoopid 🙂

  23. BTW, Mr. Williams was so terrified to hear about a gun in the home, I wonder if he has considered that pretty much every home out there has at very least a steak knife or two in it.

  24. College “educated” middle class white girls are some of the most naive and lacking of common sense people. They live in a fantasy land of “you go girl!” privelege where nothing could possibly go wrong cuz self esteem!

    A cuddle app to find cuddlers. Go to a strangers house for this.

    Morons.

  25. This is obviously fake. If that lady had a gun, it would obviously taken control of her mind at some point, and forced the owner to shoot instead of cuddle. We’re lucky the children are safe.

  26. “discharging the holster before teaching me how to aim” Am I the only one who said WTF out loud after reading that line, and then again after reading it a second time to make sure I wasn’t insane? How does one discharge a holster?

    Also this app raises so many red flags on my “dont want to become a skin lampshade” radar.

  30. I cuddle my children.
    This whole notion makes me think of that scene in Boondock Saints where Dafoe’s character gets that phone call in the middle of the night…..

  31. Wait, so she clears the house with a handgun every time she comes home, but she’ll invite a random person from the internet to come over to her house and cuddle?

    • It was girl on girl cuddling…

      After verifying the person’s identity through the door, she could probably be pretty sure of her safety.

      Let’s face it – statistically you’re a lot less likely to be raped and killed by a woman.

      • “After verifying the person’s identity through the door, she could probably be pretty sure of her safety.”

        So, situational awareness should go to zero just because the person at the door is female?

        I thought the other day we had a whole bunch of comments about how dangerous and deceptive women can be (that story about the Good Samaritan helping the lady on the side of the Interstate).

        Trust in this app to decide who is safe to ‘Meet and allow in home’ is sadly misplaced.

      • Yes, but less safe with the lady’s insane boyfriend hiding behind a hedge, and just waiting for the door to open to launch a blitz attack. Game over.

        • Maybe.

          But life is too short to live in a padded room with no human contact.

          I carry a pistol when I can because that is just common sense. The day I have to suspect every person I come in contact with of being a criminal I will either move or off myself.

  32. I thought “cuddling” was being used as a euphemism for hanging out, having a drink, etc… But, they actually got in bed and spooned. WTF? This is a real app? WHY?

    • OK, kids who are never cuddled end up with development issues and often end up violent offenders. This can be seen in brain lesions affecting the higher brain functions We all need cuddles, whether we admit it or not. I have a cat who talked her way into my house, and that is the reciprocal service she provides. Some women friends used to drop by for a cry and cuddle, before being sent back to their husbands with renewed faith in mankind. A cuddle never hurt anyone. This is just a new tech way of dealing with it. As with everything , there are risks. At least this story had a happy ending (no, not that kind!).

  33. Well, I missed the boat on this. I could have turned the time I fell for that “Free printer” listing on NYC Craigslist into and app…

  36. I am still thinking of how a cuddling site existing doesn’t surprise me..Maybe I could start a gun cuddling site..where people can exchange guns to cuddle with, fondle and “strip” and then return them clean and lubed when done..
    Is it just me when I get a new gun home, the cuddling, stripping the gun, lube..?
    guncuddle.com?
    There is always a new door of weird ready to be opened.
    Any investors? Hit me up..

  37. “It wasn’t too awkward, although it wasn’t the most comfortable situation I’ve ever been in.”

    Derp. Cuddling a complete stranger wasn’t the most comfortable situation. *facepalm*

  38. From the web site FAQ:

    “5) How do you build in trust and safety measures?
    For potential cuddlers, you can see how many successful and unsuccessful cuddles they’ve had in the past. Users with a substantial proportion of reports are unlikely to have their requests accepted, and we ban anyone who is consistently using it improperly. In addition, we don’t share your location until you’ve indicated that you do actually want to cuddle this person, and you can block anyone if you don’t want them to even see you on the app. “

    TOTAL PERSONAL SECURITY FAIL.

    Geez, these people are idiots.

    How is any of that AFTER THE FACT stuff going to bring one back from the dead after a murder?

    So, some psycho kills a cuddler and then what? First of all…who would KNOW to “dislike” them? I guess using a fake name and stuff is screened out how?

    Victim’s Friend to Cops: “She was meeting up with User3921331 on Cuddlr. She was meeting at the back alley behind the Sleezy Bar on 4th.”

    Cops: “Uh, thanks. You just solved our case for us!” (not really, of course).

    So, User3921331 on Cuddlr now gets a “Dislike” and potentially banned…*IF* the app designers deem the complaint credible enough against THAT user.

    Question: Has any of this “response to missing victim” resurrected the victim, or even located the body?

    Good grief. No wonder these people are largely anti-gun. They have zero survival sense. r Selection on display…but even mice and sheep can sense some danger and TRY to avoid it when they do.

    What’s past r Selection? Pure idiocy? Just thinking there are people this willfully pathetic makes me want to vomit.

    • I had to deal with a bit of this mentality in computer security 15 years ago, just when biometrics was starting to become the “hot” thing.

      People in meetings kept claiming that biometrics were “foolproof” and “couldn’t be hacked.”

      After hearing enough of this, I finally sat forward, cleared my throat and said in a raised voice: “Bullshit.”

      The PhD’s in the room demanded to see my proof.

      I said “Imagine in this hand, I’m holding a Glock. 9mm, .40, doesn’t matter. It’s black, goes ‘bang’ and it scares the piss out of people like you.”

      Eyes got real wide in the conference room.

      “In my other hand, I’m holding a Ka-bar knife. Marines carry them. They’re big, sharp and mean looking, but they work really, really well as a knife if I wanted to cut off fingers or extract eyeballs. Now, you’re claiming that your biometric access controls are not hackable. I don’t care about your theories, because here’s how this is going to work: You come with me to the biometric access panel willingly (waving the hand carrying the imaginary “Glock” around) or I can kill you here and cut off the part of you I need to get past the access control. Which would you prefer?”

      Things got real quiet after that. Later there were lots of “we never thought of that” admissions.

      There’s quite a few very bright, but utterly clueless-in-meatspace people out there in the computer industry.

      • Trust me, it’s a well known thing in computer security circles. So much so that there was an XKCD comic strip about it:

        http://xkcd.com/538/

        In Russian IT circles, there’s a joke along the similar lines that refers to a subdiscipline of cryptanalysis (the study of analyzing systems for security flaws, either to properly secure them or to break them) known as “thermorectal cryptanalysis” – this is when they shove a soldering iron (thermo-) up your ass (-rectal) and then politely ask you for your password (cryptanalysis).

        • That xkcd is what comes to mind when people talk about safe storage laws. If someone really wants those guns, they’re going to get them.

  39. curious, how many comment moderateds were there for this?
    define stranger. are they no longer strangers after a few libations? sounds familiar…
    to the point:
    if you’re the big spoon, i’m thinkin’ small of back carry.
    if you be the lil’ spoon, then maybe that undywears holster ttag reviewed previously.
    unless of course, you’re dallas archer…

  43. The activity isn’t strange, but using an app to cuddle with a complete stranger is bizarre. Back in the day (25 years ago) in college the girls/boys would often have a few drinks and wobble home or meet late with a favorite that was in their circle of friends. It wasn’t every night, it wasn’t exclusive but we hooked up several times a month and it was always a good time and safe.

    Get a dog or get out, get a circle of friends, be decent looking & acting and a cuddle buddy will come your way.

  44. “I had never actually seen one in person, aside from on a cop’s holster, so she led me into the bedroom and took it out from its hiding place, discharging the holster before teaching me how to aim. As I held its weight in my hand, I thought – I am the world’s biggest idiot for walking into a stranger’s home.”

    Wait, a stranger let you into her house and showed you her firearm, and THEN you feel stupid? After she’s handed over her means of protection?

    But anyway, how does one discharge a holster?

  45. I have pretty much given up all hope for the future of humanity, but this just has me shaking my head. I don’t even know how to process the level of stupidity in this story.

  46. While I can definitely see the possible negatives to an app like this, it seems as if people are judging way too harshly. As some have pointed out, it could be a generational thing, but I’ve met many people online who I eventually became real friends with; one of which was a snuggle buddy long before apps like this existed. I met some really interesting people in response to a goofy craigslist ad I placed just as an experiment. When we go on a blind date we are taking many of the same risks as someone using Cudlr. Everyone’s a stranger to us at some point, and we can never really know someone else completely (no matter how much we think we do). Being married, I wouldn’t have much use for an app like this, but if I did I’d damn sure be packing when I went to cuddle. As long as people don’t forget common sense and the rules that apply to the situation, I see no greater risk from an app than from asking a girl for her phone number. It’s not like you HAVE to meet a person at their home. You could just as easily meet in a public place, that allows CCDW of course, screen the person and then choose to go home with them or take them back to your place; no different than a traditional date, just using a new way to get there.

  47. Sorry, but these people are f’in weird! I hate cats, but in this case, they should get one. Or two. Or fifty. Since they’re nuts anyway.

  48. I understand one-night stands, swinger clubs, “friends-with benefits,” etc. Even if you don’t like those activities or participate, those are all things that take place without any emotional attachment, that is why they work. With cuddling, or “cuddle buddies,” it is not the same. Cuddling is something you do with people you share an emotional attachment or with people you can share emotions. For that reason, it is why Cuddlr is so weird and creepy: you are expected to share an emotional link or attachment with a person you just met – it’s like a stranger coming up to you at OverprivedCoffee and hugging you. Creepy? That word only begins to describe it.

  49. Actually, the founder of cuddlr, suggested meeting people in public to cuddle. His intent was never to have people meet in private homes with strangers, at least not until you know the person better. Oftentimes, it is also wise to not take a first date home unless you are sure you have vetted that person out well. I do find it interesting that people think sex is casual and cuddling is very emotional and filled with attachment. I find it the other way around. Cuddling, hugging and non-sexual touching while fully clothed, are things I can do once I’ve vetted a person out and I know he is not going to disrespect my boundaries. Sex, for me, takes a little longer to build the trust needed, because the sex brings a lot of attachment.

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