20140518_220415

By Nick J.

“Why do you need that?” The question that plagues every rightful gun-owner in America, and quite likely you are thinking the same about my mall-ninja-esque Red Ryder. But it has all the evil, telltale features of a politician-designated “Assault Weapon,” sporting a holographic sight, a foregrip, and a whopping 300 round capacity! So, why do I need it? . . .

Well I don’t, but that’s not the point is it? The point is that it’s my right to have it (as silly as it looks), just as much as it is my right to have the Mossberg it sits next to in the closet, or the 1911 in a case under my desk: a right that countless brave men and women have fought, and died to uphold. It is a right that I will uphold as long as I draw breath.

(No Red Ryder BB guns were harmed in the writing of this post.)

44 COMMENTS

  1. Ha, nice. We did this to one of my roommates Red Ryers. I used the rail from a 10/22 Archangel stock and attached a grip, light and red dot. we even taped the bayo on the end. It was the short version, so we folded up a Coke box and taped it to the stock, to increase the length of pull.

  2. ONLY 300 rounds? Lol

    By the way, is that a lever action? If so, it makes my Model 94 Winny look like the toy here…

    …until we compare calibers.

    The 30-30 shows no mercy (I say in best Adam Sandler/ “The Waterboy” voice).

    Neener neener 😛

    • Of course it’s a lever action, which, despite the holographic sight, the foregrip, and the 300 round capacity, disqualifies it from being called an “assault bb gun.” Technically, assault weapons are capable of fully automatic fire, although, in the current climate of anti-gun blurblings, being capable of only semi-automatic fire will qualify a weapon to be prefixed with the adjective “assault.” This bb gun is capable of neither. And working that lever requires 1) a long throw, and 2) a bit of effort.

      • Had to ask if it was lever action, as the last experience with a BB gun I had was an old rusty Daisy we found in “the old house” at my family’s property.

        It was a crappy, tired old thing, in which tilting the end of the barrel towards the ground would result in spilling what seemed like hundreds of BB’s all across the ground. Fun times!

        Since then, lol, no thanks, no thanks.

        And yes- it would shoot- sometimes. And the keyword is “sometimes”.

        • Hey, Josh, I had one just like that, and was very envious of the kids who had either a lever-action or a pump-action bb gun. Eventually I did get a Daisy lever action, but it wasn’t the Red Ryder, for which, like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story,” I lusted, but for which my folks would never spring. I now have sitting in one of my closets a long-unused Daisy “Spittin’ Image” version of the 1982 Winchester lever-action that, like the real thing, loads bbs through a port in the side of the receiver.

  3. (No Red Ryder BB guns were harmed in the writing of this post.)

    The picture suggests otherwise.

  4. Never could get into air rifles.

    I’m definitely biased and prefer larger calibers, although I do shoot the hell out of some rimfire.

    Lately, I’ve had the strangest hankering for a .17….

  5. I was thinking it was going to be one of those bb machine guns they used to sell. Cheap plastic thing with a stainless steel tube for a barrel, and you used Freon or an air hose for power. You aimed them like a 50 cal, walking the stream of bb’s to the target. I wonder if that is still somewhere up in my garage rafters.

  6. Self-preservation is a right that all living things enjoy. It’s why some “prey” animals travel in packs or have antlers or what-have-you.

    I don’t have antlers. Traveling in a pack just isn’t that appealing to me when I know that one “predator” can, with good marksmanship and a GLOCK-brand GLOCK™ 17 in stock configuration, severely injure at least 17 people without a reload. That’s his “teeth.”

    If he has teeth, then don’t I have a natural right to teeth of my own?

  7. “Why do you need that?”
    ##########################
    “Because Fark you…that’s why” Has pretty much turned into my standard answer.

    • When they ask me why I need such and such firearm or howsoever many firearms, I tell them I’ll make a deal with them: I’ll tell them why I need these firearms if they can tell me what the square root of blue sounds like.

      The brighter ones realize that the answer lies in the unanswerable, and sometimes we then go shooting. The less bright ones, well……..look, they weren’t going to understand or accept any real answer anyway, since their question was disapproval cast as a question, and never was a real question in the first place. So why not just have some fun with them and mess with their minds?

  8. It still needs some sort of muzzle device, a bayonet lug, a barrel shroud and a shoulder thingy that goes up. Speaking of which I got some time on one of those rare rifles that really does have a shoulder thingy that goes up (M1A) this weekend, good fun!

    • Because they adore Imelda Marcos!
      You think you got problems? I’m married to Philippine lady!

    • Because they adore Imelda Marcos.
      You think you got problems? I’m married to a Philippine lady!

    • Because they adore Imelda Marcos.
      You think you got problems?
      I’m married to a Philippine lady!

    • Because they adore Imelda Marcos!
      You think you got problems? I’m married to a Philippine lady!

  9. So my godson is going to be needing a first gun soon, and I’ve been considering the Red Ryder. Always open to suggestions though, especially from the TTAG AI. Thoughts?

    • If you’re interested in getting him an airgun of some kind, check out what’s available at Pyramydair.com or Airgundepot.com. Note that there are semi-automatic, CO2-powered pistols available that have the heft of the real thing and feature blow-back action, which means that their slides cycle with each shot, and lock back when the magazine has been emptied. Way cool.

    • The lever action Red Ryder might, or might not, fit the bill. I have one for my oldest (10 yo) and it fits her fine and the length of pull is good. She can even run the lever well enough. On the other hand, it also fits my 7 year old (or 7yo in one month) and she can’t run the lever very well without anchoring the rifle between her legs and beating it up a bit while she attempts to cock it. I’m looking more to a cheap Daisy or Crossman forestock pump (Creossman Pumpmaster 760) as she *can* easily pump that. If your godson is older that 7-8 or fairly strong, the Red Ryder is a good choice. Otherwise you might need to look at something else.

    • Ruger American Rimfire Compact in .22LR is a good starter gun for a young fella. A “real” gun will attract and hold his attention and make him focus on gun safety. A BB gun? Maybe not.

      Yes, I understand that a BB gun is “real,” but a lot of kids don’t and won’t, even though they are well taught. But every kid instinctively understands that a twenty-two is the business.

  10. Rather of a short entry, but not too bad. Still need to get a shoulder thingie that goes up.

  11. It’s starting to give me a rash to the old question, “well why do you need that?” Need is inconsequential.

    We all have possessions we don’t need. How many guys do we know that drive around a full size truck they don’t need and could get along fine with a Honda?
    We are Americans, most of us anyway and those of us who live in the United States know that means we are self indulgent and have things we don’t need. How many us guys have a huge tool box in the garage and may just buy a new tool, when there really is no need? Because we want to.

    We have possessions because we like them, want them and we go to work so we can have our toys and enjoy them in our own little world.

    The same thing goes for those who practice any of the many martial arts. Why would they do that? Are they running around beating people up? No, but they could. Like firearms, martial arts is a sport. Like firearms, martial arts could be abused. But we enjoy the benefits each has to offer without infringing on anyone’s rights and it’s really nobody’s business whatsoever why anyone has anything that’s legal to own or legal to do. That’s the benefits of living in a free society, working, having money so we can enjoy ourselves with our toys, be it a boat, RV, motorcycles, tools, that new chainsaw or our guns. We have them because we want them. It’s just that simple.

  12. “a right that countless brave men and women have fought, and died to uphold.”

    and that politicians will give away with the stroke of a pen…

  13. I rightly laugh directly in the face of anyone who asks me why I “need” this, that, or the other thing.

    I first answer their question with another question, “Why would I even “need” to justify anything to you? Please explain to me how you think it’s any of your business in the first place.” The conversation usually falls apart after that if it doesn’t come to a full stop. Unless and until the anti’s answer that question — and with anything other than the proverbial laundry list of the logical and factual fallacies that are inextricably married to every single solitary one of their so-called “arguments” or that answer is completely invalid — that’s every bit as far as this whole “gun debate” ever needs to go.

  14. When they ask me why I need such and such firearm or howsoever many firearms, I tell them I’ll make a deal with them: I’ll tell them why I need these firearms if they can tell me what the square root of blue sounds like.

    The brighter ones realize that the answer lies in the unanswerable, and sometimes we then go shooting. The less bright ones, well……..look, they weren’t going to understand or accept any real answer anyway, since their question was disapproval cast as a question, and never was a real question in the first place. So why not just have some fun with them and mess with their minds?

  15. When they ask me why I need such and such firearm or howsoever many firearms, I tell them I’ll make a deal with them: I’ll tell them why I need these firearms if they can tell me what the square root of blue sounds like.

    The brighter ones realize that the answer lies in the unanswerable, and sometimes we then go shooting. The less bright ones, well……..look, they weren’t going to understand or accept any real answer anyway, since their question was disapproval cast as a question, and never was a real question in the first place. So why not just have some fun with them and mess with their minds?

  16. When they ask me why I need such and such firearm or howsoever many firearms, I tell them I’ll make a deal with them: I’ll tell them why I need these firearms if they can tell me what the square root of blue sounds like.

    The brighter ones realize that the answer lies in the unanswerable, and sometimes we then go shooting. The less bright ones, well……..look, they weren’t going to understand or accept any real answer anyway, since their question was disapproval cast as a question, and never was a real question in the first place. So why not just have some fun with them and mess with their minds?

    • Really sorry about the over posts, friends. I see now, though, that some others were having the same difficulty with error messages and repeatedly submitted some of their comments, too. Looks fixed now, whatever the cause. If there’s a next time with that problem, I’ll just ride it out with the original posting attempt and avoid the inadvertent duplications (triplications?).

  17. The relevant question is not “Why do I need it?”, it’s “Why do I need to be stopped?”

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