“A Pennsylvania woman who allegedly hit a man with a stun gun during a pedestrian hit-and-run was arrested after police say her vanity license plate made her easy to track down.” The correct verb is “fired.” As in “The Zombie alleged drove into two men and then fired her TASER in an attempt to incapacitate her victims and consume their flesh.” The AP‘s news pyramid continues: “Allentown police say Yardley Joy Frantz was promptly arrested Friday after witnesses spotted her ‘ZOMBIE’ license plate [not shown]. Investigators say Frantz ran into a man and his nephew with her car around 7 p.m., then zapped the man’s son with a stun gun after he confronted her.” According to mcall.com, “Other witnesses . . . described the driver as a woman in pajama pants and took down her license plate. One witness said the woman turned onto Clay Street, came to a stop and then accelerated into a crowd of people, hitting the man and boy.” You have been warned.

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13 COMMENTS

  1. I saw that story and I was going to send it your way. Glad you picked it up. That’s an awesome plate in the photo up top.

  5. I believe it is time for the DSM-IV TR to update its definitions to include “Mass Zombie Hysteria” to hammer down a clinically diagnosable illness. Time to dope the water supply with Clozaril and Risperdal. With a sprinkling of Haldol for good measure.

    • I volunteer to do it at no cost to the taxpayers of my state (PA). I have power tools, perfect for opening her head right up and examine all around for abnormalities. Jeepers, this is really too close to home for me, I live 40 minutes from there, and for you folks in other parts of the country, I need to tell you, that if an honest Zombie outbreak were to occur in the USA, northeast PA would be a believable ground zero for such an event.

  7. “When there’s no room in hell….the dead will drive around hitting pedestrians while wearing their jammies…”

  8. The title is misleading. The only zombie-ish facet of this story is the woman’s license plate which read “ZOMBIE”. And instead of using “fired” to repalce “hit” in the AP’s story, I would use “shocked”, as in “A Pennsylvania woman who allegedly shocked a man with a stun gun…” Your rephrasing is comical, but well she didn’t eat anyone. She drove into a Man and his young nephew, and when the boy’s father confronted the woman she tazered him in an effort to flee the scene.

  9. I’ve seen some pretty annoying vanity plates that make me wonder if their cars don’t get keyed once a week:
    ITSFAST – Lotus Esprit
    WLTHPLNR – Mustang Convertible
    URNUTHIN – Audi A6 with racing wheels and window tinting

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