A few months ago, my love life took a sudden and dramatic turn for the worse. My GF of two years — a supportive fence straddler on the issue of firearms freedom — dumped me. With heavy heart, I returned to the dating scene of the crime . . .
It eventually dawned on me that “admitting” I was a gun blogger in my online profile was something of an anathema. (The tumbleweeds blowing through my in-box being a significant clue.)
So I became a publisher and widened my search; responding to a few profiles where the woman in question self-identified as a liberal or indicated a left-leaning bias (e.g., NPR is one of the six things they couldn’t live without). As you can see from the screen cap above, that hasn’t gone well.
I think it’s odd that so many liberals have so much hatred in their heart. My small “c” conservative beliefs are just as strong as theirs. But I don’t consider people with whom I disagree pond scum. In fact, I enjoy vigorous debate. I find it stimulating. Still, as my late father liked to remind me (more times than should have been necessary), the trick in life is not to make the same mistake twice. So I’ve sworn off anti-gunners.
I know we’ve delved into the romantic fortunes of TTAG’s Armed Intelligentsia before, but I could use a little group therapy. Have you undergone a similar evolution? Have you, could you, date an anti-gunner? Did that ever work out?
Of course! There’s no point even talking to somebody if you already agree on every single thing.
Wait — we’re supposed to talk to them?
That’s never going to work.
LOL!
“…meanwhile, the poor Babel Fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”
–Douglas Adams
Not in a million years. I wouldn’t date a moron no matter how hot she was.
+1 for this…dating means you are on the same wave length…otherwise it is a waste of time, effort and funds.
Numerous bad asses through out history survived through plenty of wars and hardship to produce me and I have no intention of being the one to dilute the gene pool with a mentally defective liberal.
Not happening.
+100
Nope, never, don’t even try.
.My wife of 30 years is pro gun rights she personally doesn’t enjoy shooting or hunting, but doesn’t mind that I do. She has actually bought me some guns over the years! That’s a minimum requirement in my book!
Let’s ask Jewish TTAGers if they would date a Nazi. Ask black TTAGers if they would date Klansmen. Ask Miami Cubans if they would date Fidel Castro (before he died, natch).
Why in the name of all that’s holy would anyone want to date people who despise them and their culture?
Because many supposedly anti-gun people are gun-neutral or even gun-positive people who just haven’t had a competent teacher take them to a range.
You’ve changed the premise.
I thought we were talking about dating an anti-gunner here, not training someone who’s undecided.
Can an anti-gunner magically be converted through a range trip? I don’t think so, but I could be wrong. I’ll tell you what — you convert them. I don’t have the time or the inclination.
The one thing that the world has plenty of is women. If you have the money, they have the time.
I’m pretty sure most girls aren’t into guns. As long as she isn’t inflexible. What Ralph said.
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
― Albert Einstein
Took my sister to shoot her first gun. Had her ringing steel and running malfunction drills (loaded the mags with random duds and round count) with a G19 from 20, 50, and 80 yards. Pretty proud, she’s a natural. Followed the 4 rules, range commands, and kept it downrange. She leans left but I’m pretty sure I can save her from her sorority friends.
My brother is a very successful car salesman. His theory on cold calls is that if you can get one call out of 20 into the dealership you will succeed in one sale out of 20 who come in.
While I know his incentive is to make a living -now turn that into gun friendlies getting non gun friendly to convert or even become neutral. If every gun owner in America would do this there would be a few million more Americans who would be gun friendly or at least tolerant of the gun owner side.
I don’t believe that would be a “waste of time”.
At work I have suceeded in getting an actual range day once a month for employees. Of course it helps that we have an indoor range 1.1 miles away. The first trip I only had 2 co-workers go. Now, 7 months later, I am up to 11. 7 of them had never held or fired a gun before. 5 of the 7 now own at least one handgun and one of them just completed his first deer hunting and took an 8 pointer.
Not to shabby for 7 months of sharing with friends.
Take the time and share this wonderful sport with anyone and everyone. Your attitude will make all the difference in the world.
Just my thoughts on your comments.
@B, as an instructor, I’ve trained more women than men in the use of firearms (generally speaking, women are better students and have excellent eye-hand coordination). To my knowledge, while most of them started out gun-ignorant, few of them started out as anti-gun. Besides, just because I train them doesn’t mean I want to date them.
@Dez, I would be more disposed to approving your analogy to cars if I was buying a woman, but not dating one.
I understand that there is a thriving market in used women. I’m looking for one with low mileage, good on gas, preferably owned by a priest who only drove her on Sundays.
In my experience some antigunners can be changed. Many people form opinions without even knowing what it’s about. My gf used to hate guns before she met me. I was able to convince her to try shooting and she said it wasn’t as bad as she originally thought. Now she still doesn’t like them but she doesn’t hate them anymore. Baby steps…
Don’t be that guy who gives a first timer a powerful gun like a 44 mag then laughs after it smacks her in the face.
There are many points between socialism and freedom. Not everyone who is “anti-gun” despises us and our culture. Many of them are just living in a left-wing bubble and deprived of information.
I know people who say, “I don’t like guns.” It’s because they understand their destructive power but nothing else. They’re afraid of guns, because “Gun safety” is a foreign concept to them. Some of these people can be taught.
Exactly. The kind of liberals who would happily watch a public execution of gun owners (though would never actually pull the lever themselves; the cowards) are not everyone. They might be a small majority (tough to say with any certainty; they’re certainly the most vocal), but there are millions of people out there who identify as liberal who are NOT the vile, frothing-at-the-mouth, hateful kind. Educate them. If they refuse to be educated, that’s on them. But if they’re willing to consider ideas that conflict with their accepted worldview, absolutely try to educate them.
Those who know and know that they know are wise. Follow them.
Those who know and know not that they know lack confidence. Encourage them.
Those who know not and know that they know not are ignorant. Teach them.
But those who know not and know not that they know not are liberals. Shun them.
— Ancient Romanian proverb (told to me by an ancient Romanian)
Ralph, that is getting burned into a wooden
plaque and hung on the wall of my shop.
@Ralph: Good quotation, but it reads better in the original Romulan.
“Anti gun” is really not the issue IMHO, they may be converted. It’s the staunch Liberal that will never switch sides or even listen to the other side.
Why would you want to date someone with whom you have nothing in common. Not only that, but there is absolute hatred for everything you represent as a Conservative. You may be tolerant but as this election proved the other side will never be.
God forbid something happens to my wife of 27years but if I’d be in the dating “pool” I know I won’t hook up with a lefty be-otch. Years ago I’m certain I “dated” some anti gals. I wasn’t concerned with guns then(except my 19″ arms lol). Good luck RF-you’ll need it!
Buy her some bleach. Piss or Poison, you’re the bartender, if they ain’t too drunk already, and they ain’t crazy, serve them up.
And tell her, “funny, for a bleach drinker, you really kinda smell”.
“Could I Date an Anti-Gunner?”
No, my wife won’t let me.
All kidding aside, why would you want too? Look anyone that wants to limit your freedoms is a bad person. To say otherwise is like a black person saying a slave owner in the antebellum south is a good person. In short, it’s a deal breaker.
Not enough gun-grabbers and liberal_progressive_communist_globalist [&] (D) are told daily what a bunch of used Fbag POS’s that they are. THAT’S THE TRUE PROBLEM WITH CONSERVATISM. WE HAVE OCCUPIED THE HIGH GROUND TOO LONG IN THE BELIEF THAT IT WILL ALSO WIN THE LOW GROUND. That sh_t (the previously mentioned POS’s) should live in fear, they should be compelled to perform their satanist globalist agenda on Pluto before they are forced to some more remote place. At the very least, no opportunity to call them out to let them know what a fing piece of sh_t they are should go to waste. It’s what the POS’s have been attempting to do to Conservatives and Conservatism since the POS’s each fell out of their mother’s a_ _.
Of course I could! I dated a KGB agent back in the days, her name was Vlad.
Did once. Won’t happen again.
if you going to be a pro-trump guy looking for love, ya gotta get out of any city with a population over 100,000. Liberalism is too embedded there.
Especially that liberal shitehole named Austin.
R. F. – Do what you’ve always done and you get what you’ve always gotten!
Why waste your time and energy, not to mention money.
Call 1-800-rent-apiece.
Forgot to mention she’s a mutt. Sorry to break it to ya, but no loss for you!
Some advice, RF: stop chasing after liberal Austin chicks just because they’re cute. “Opposites attract” is only true in magnets, not people. Find someone more compatible to spend your life with, and you can have your “vigorous debates” with people who don’t have the ability to make your life miserable when you disagree on fundamental values.
Also, you might want to find a better dating app, or be more honest in your profile, if that one said you were a 72% match…
I’ve never used a dating site, but I’m guessing that if she’s Jewish, female, single, heterosexual and living the Austin area, that would comprise the 72%. Those five traits alone narrow the field quite a bit.
Part of the problem is you live in Austin. Texas is filled with millions of women who would probably want their man to take charge of defense of the home front and other typical (manly activities). Plenty of them grew up around guns and plenty of them probably own guns.
Repent or hit the road!
I live in, and intend to stay in, a part of the country where gun ownership is assumed. I’ve had a few gun conversations with strangers in completely out of context situations (half an hour talking about ARs in a Best Buy, for example). Hell, the lady at the post office chats with me about hunting whenever I get parts in from Midway or Brownell’s. Any woman around here who would be openly anti-gun and expect to find a like-minded partner would be a special kind of stupid.
That said, my lack of social skills (and money) kind of puts me out of the dating pool to begin with, so I don’t see it ever being an issue.
“I live in, and intend to stay in, a part of the country where gun ownership is assumed.”
So, the South Side of Chicago?
100% no.
I even talk to lifelong friends less and less as some of them lean farther left now than when we were younger (before politics mattered). I wouldn’t want to (eventually) share a house with an anti-gunner. Too many guns hidden in various spots for them anyway…
Match.com includes “shooting” under hobbies you like. There are women there. Don’t waste your time with lying gungrabbers. Never going to go anywhere.
An inflexible, anti-2A position is a marker for a leftist (or generally authoritarian) outlook on life. My experience has been that vast majority of people who have a leftist outlook on life are seriously miserable people who will make anybody who is exposed to them over a long period miserable as well. So no, I would take a pass on dating an anti-gunner.
I was seeing a girl for about 3 months and the gun topic never came up. One day she hugs me and feels my handgun and asks “What is that”.
I reply “its my gun I always carry”. Apparently that made her uncomfortable and she asked me if I could leave it at home next time. needless to say I’m no longer seeing her.
Should have explained that if you took her to the range and taught her how to use it, it wouldn’t make her uncomfortable anymore.
Eh, I’d have just told her I was happy to see her.
Depends if it was a .22 or a .44 magnum. 😉
Or a rifle.
I’d go into the old “shot placement vs. stopping power” debate, but I think that might be taking it too far off-topic.
If you date her, you might end up marrying her.
And then you’ll end up selling your guns.
Or her taking half of your guns and using that half to make anti-gun sculptures.
http://news.hamlethub.com/fairfield/life/40805-new-anti-gun-violence-sculpture-made-from-guns
After you kick her to the curb.
Just don’t do it.
And look how well that worked out for Sean Penn.
You can’t tell from a picture that a person is rude and self-righteous. You dodged a bullet with that one.
True enough.
But I would not have left the “bleach” comment alone. I would have replied with “Are you as rude and self-righteous in face-to-face conversations as you are in internet conversations?”
Uh… I wouldn’t try it. Do you want a lasting relationship? Then you need to find someone with similar ideologies, morals, ethics, beliefs. You can be different all you want. Have totally different hobbies, ideas of fun, etc. But deep down you need to have similar morals. Similar concepts of right and wrong.
I would think you would want to avoid the following types of people:
► The state needs to take care of them. The state knows better than them. People are like animals, incapable of taking care of themselves or taking responsibility for their lives. Laws are the answer to everything. Thus they see the state as a moral authority.
► They would rather die than have to defend themselves. There is glory in being a victim, but there is no glory in using violence (regardless if the results lead to a moral consequence).
► They don’t understand a logical “AND” or a logical “OR.” I think everyone has a certain minimum intelligence requirement. If they are excessively gullible and believe whatever mother jones or the view says, I would skip over them.
I’ve heard it said that conservatives think liberals are stupid and liberals think conservatives are evil. I happen to think liberals are both stupid and evil. The only way to date an anti-gun liberal would be to pretend to be something I’m not, since allowing my true identity to be known to such an individual would be akin to announcing you’re a Nazi or in the KKK. They’re going to dump your ass as soon as they know who you are and pretending to be something else just seems like a pointless and exhausting waste of time. On the other hand, if they’re open minded enough to accept a range date…
BTW, first Kool-aid and now bleach? Perhaps you could find a nice alcoholic instead.
“BTW, first Kool-aid and now bleach? Perhaps you could find a nice alcoholic instead.”
He’s been there, done that, and gotten the shirt. The same shirt several times, actually.
Ease up on the guy…
I’d think it would still be better than dating a Kool-aid drinker.
i’d say an anti-gunner couldn’t date me!
luckily i’m married so its not an issue :p
Date is a strong word. I’m a magnet for blue haired girls and I have trouble turning down sex. Its crazy hard to find noncrazy girls and Match is a cesspool of zombie profiles and trolls. Funny enough I’ve had way better luck on tinder finding girls more philosophically aligned with me. They’re the ones with pics of them shooting guns.
“I have trouble turning down sex”
If you have ever turned down sex you are doing better than most guys in both the game and moral side of things.
Yes, blue haired girls scream crazy and yes psycho-chicks are reputed to be able to conduct circumcisions without a scalpel . . . but then there is that guy rule about never sticking your d1ck in crazy . . . but then you realize that all human beings tend towards crazy especially the ones that lack the Y-chromosome.
Yes, date is a strong word and RF is dating himself by attempting anything other than coitus-non-interruptus with a female. Most of the kids these days just shag each other rotten. If you are attempting to have a meaning relationship with a womb-man then go in peace my son 🙂
“I’d rather drink bleach.”
I’d rather she drank bleach, too.
In small and repeated quantities it would raise her body’s PH (Power of Hydrogen) allowing her body to destroy pests (AND THEIR WASTE PRODUCTS) with more-easily produced acids, then it could safely pass the acidic by-products without much further damage to its tissues without the need of neutralizing elements like Calcium (drawn from her bones) which might help create kidney stones. Her body would not have to produce fat cells to (instead) store the waste and by-products, and lead to her inevitable poor figure, cancer, organ failure, and lessen her life-span.
http://www.cancerfightingstrategies.com/ph-and-cancer.html
http://www.acidalkalinediet.net/cancer-cures-body-ph-and-your-diet.php
…And the dreaded “Actually” Guy strikes again.
Except he’s ‘actually’ full of crap…
My inclusion of that comment was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but what I posted wasn’t false, you wouldn’t know either way though if you got it by suppository.
Joe R. – “her body would not have to produce fat cells”
So…kind of a flashing red light there. Adult humans do not “produce fat cells”. We ingest them and break them down for fuel, but we do not create them.
ah, yes we do.
We even replace them after they die. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/05/health/research/05fat.html
The only thing permanent in life is argument.
Define ‘date’. Pump & dump, hanging out, friends with bennies, teabagging, sure. Any sort of relationship that might lead to marriage or one of those gun stealing restraining orders, never.
What, you think those restraining orders are restricted only to seriously relationships? A stranger could get one taken out on you, assuming she’s female.
Mr. Farago, there are lots and lots and lots and LOTS of women in the world. Many more options than the narrow-minded, white, inner city, garden-variety-liberal, finger-waggers would have you believe.
Abandon these awful women to their lonely fates. They deserve to be alone, wrinkled and childless, sipping mocha chai for the remainder of their days.
Agree there are too many women in the world to attempt to date someone who despises something you enjoy. But I disagree that being single, childless, and sipping chai lattes is a horrible fate. I’d rather be single and childless, enjoying a decent beverage than be married with kids to the wrong person. YMMV.
Sipping chai lattes will continue to be a horrible fate as long as there is beer in this world. And bourbon.
schwink dinkelman once said, “do what you want. you’ll get yelled at anyhow.”
coupling eventually exposes differences and incompatabilities, get what you can while it’s awesome.
they’re all pretty screwy somehow, if you can tolerate one you’re doing well.
read the freakonomics chapter for the statistically successful points to utilize for maximizing dating site responses. be entirely honest if you must, but like other areas where we have to fudge, i think most by far tweak their profiles somewhat just to initiate action.
then laugh about it later and say “we never would have met if we’d been truthful.”
or not. but i’m a city dweller…
A house divided against itself can not stand. Looks fade. What’s left after that?
Money.
If she hasn’t taken it all and spent it on shoes.
See, that’s where you went astray, Ralph. You have to marry a woman who has more money than you do, like an heir to the Heinz or Hilton fortunes.
Holiday romance turn long term until her ballistic fun meter pegged? I had a 19 month, three country love affair with one of the Queen’s subjects, best time in the pit, but the cultural divide too large a gap.
My wife was anti-gun until I proposed the question, if I was cross country and something bad happened, how will you protect yourself and the children? Took about couple of days for her to agree then a month for her get a mid week range time. Learned for about an hour, placed the armament in a locked drawer…then I left the subject alone. Once or twice a year invite her for range time and some lunch and she politely declines, I accept knowing to ask for more is a bridge too far.
Often we want our sig’s to be like minded, I’m glad she’s not. More than once she broke out the file and dulled the sharp edge of my character without impinging my principles. One does one best and some things are best left alone.
…
RF,
Every time you get the urge to date someone you’ve met on the internet
I suggest you first play this clip from As Good As It Gets.
“How do you write women so well?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBz0BTb83H8
…
This.
This indeed, dog always Wubs.
In a word NO.
No sense starting something that wont end well.
Ive found in my own experience. A lot of Liberal or anti gun folks are so entrenched in their beliefs. Its not worth the time to me to try to even talk anymore.
Its never ended well.
I’d be too worried that she’d somehow get ahold of one of my guns and shoot me over a slight disagreement. Projection and all that.
I would not date an anti-gunner even if she was atomic hot. Remember Charlise Theron is reputed to have forced Sean Penn to weld all of his guns into some kind of sculpture.
Heck, a family member recently told me he couldn’t think of a single reason why someone would need a semi-automatic firearm. We had the discussion about “need” vs. “want” and “freedom” as well as between 500,000 to 3 million defensive gun uses a year against 11,000 firearms homicides more than 80% of which are gang and drug related as well as the need to actually target gangs and drug dealers to reduce that rate but ultimately he declared “you’re never going to convince me.” He actually said “If we can save five lives by making semi-autos illegal, we should.” I said what about the 500,000 to 3 million people whose significant others were violating restraining orders, the robbers, rapists and murderers who were stopped every single year by defensive gun uses and asked “are you going to save 4 gang members (80% of the five lives “saved”) and lose 50,000 innocent victims to murders or rapes?
He said “you’re never going to convince me so why are we having this conversation.”
If he wasn’t family, I’d have said “What, are the bothersome facts making you uncomfortable?” but as it is, we probably won’t talk for five years or so.
No way would I voluntarily associate with that kind of mentality.
And he votes. For gun control.
An actual, active anti-gunner? No way. With firearms, it’s not just about firearms themselves. With anti-gunners, neither is it just about the firearms. Firearms are a proxy for a great many other issues and principles. You can get firearms right, but still get some other things wrong. However, you cannot get firearms wrong and have much reasonable expectation of getting other major issues right.
While being firearms indifferent is somewhat of a complication, because there’s a divergence of lifestyle there, it’s at least workable. But outright anti? That’s a nonstarter.
Do you also say you’re Jewish in the profile? I think there could be some antisemitism causing your box to be empty.
I tried. It didnt work out. In my experience, the liberal women who I dated were very close minded to viewpoints that were not their own. I would have no problem dating someone who held viewpoints opposite to my own. But they would have to be open to discussion on those topics and have something of substance to say (aka not regurgitating the standard liberal talking points).
I feel for you, RF. We’ve both spent most of our lives neck deep in left leaning social, interpersonal & geographic circles.
You have to recognize your own rarity – a product of Jewish, East Coast liberalism who lived in the U.K. yet rose up to meet the strong siren call of the righteousness of individual freedom.
I was born to an English mother, raised & schooled in their system through university and wed to an English rose. If it weren’t for the distant influence of my rarely-seen Floridian paternal grandfather (a gunsmith by trade), I’d probably have never seen a gun in person during my formative years.
It’s important to remember how overwhelmingly powerful an influencer one’s formative bubble really is (google ‘Religion’ for evidence). It takes a special individual to shed the layers of normalization foisted upon you. It’s probably the reason you still seem to find yourself attracted to liberal women; they possess all the other qualities you were raised to expect. Your head knows it’s a dead end, but you struggle to deny the sense of familiar comfort. Or maybe not… what the heck do I know?
As for me? Happily married to an “anti-gun” liberal for 10 years now. Marriage is first and foremost about compromise; exploring the opposing view point, disagreeing and loving someone anyway.
Dating? I wouldn’t know what that’s about, never had the knack.
Talking with a hardcore liberal anti-gunner is akin to trying to convince a Glock fanboy that a .38 snub is a relevant firearm.
Waste of breath.
Like button needed.
It caused me to have an ex-wife!
If you only have one ex-wife, you’re not even trying.
But he’s a quicker learner than the one with multiple ex-wives.
I am married so this is just hypothetical but my God, if I were single, no way on earth I would date an anti. A fence sitter, sure. My wife is a fence sitter. She is a good shot but doesn’t like to shoot, it’s too loud, it’s too hot, it’s boring, etc. But she is fine with me and my son going, me owning guns, reloading and fundamentally she is not anti-gun. There are too many good, hot women out there who are pro 2A and pro gun to not date one of them instead.
TBF, RF: you didn’t open up to that woman in the OP with something about guns, but something about Trump. There’s a lot more involved in that package deal.
That’s a good point. This particular rejection is about a lot more than just guns. Leading off with “I voted for Trump” two weeks after the election with a liberal Austin chick was destined to fail.
Expand your search to Williamson or Hayes counties, RF. Travis is fast becoming a dead zone in the search for people who respect independence and self-determination.
RF, you’re dislike for Trump has been evident in every article on TTAG where you’ve mentioned him.
Two refrains keep popping up on this site from time to time…
1) Liberalism is a mental disease.
2) Don’t put your dick in crazy.
Need I say more?
You Sir, win 100 Internets are the best comment (and advice). I dated “one of those” once…my name for her was (and still is) “psycho-bitch”. That small issue aside, she was a hottie….
I could, but as Bishop would say, “Believe me, I would prefer not to.”
Been quite lucky that despite living in very liberal Westchester County, just about everyone
I’ve dated has been OK with guns and a couple have even been enthusiastic about going
to the range.
There was one woman I had known for some years through my business. When she separated,
she asked me out and I said yes. After we went out a few times, she came over to my place
and saw my computer with a big desktop background image – a beautiful photorealistic image
of a Desert Eagle. She was quite surprised to see something like that, and we chatted a bit
about guns – she was generally anti-gun as I suspected, and according to a “post mortem”
conversation that we had (we’re still friends) she said, “It was almost a dealbreaker, but I was
already familiar with you, and liked you a lot.” Nonetheless we went to the range a couple
of times when we were an actual couple.
This is only anecdotal, but I would suggest waiting until your prospective partner clearly
likes you before revealing an interest in firearms.
One way I’ve brought up the topic during the first or second date: “Did you go to summer camp?
Did you enjoy archery and riflery?” The idea is to associate guns with a distant but pleasant and
non-threatening memory. Sometimes timing and presentation play a part, as well.
I genuinely wish you good luck, RF!
Sure I could but my wife might shoot me if she found out.
My wife might not appreciate it.
John
“Would you date an anti-gunner?”
Hell no! Libtard/progtard females are all about feeelz and have way too much hatred for anything that doesn’t fit their narrow mental view of the world. Basically the feeelz override their minds, and brains/intelligence is one of the things I find attractive on a woman.
Want proof? Just look at all the folks from the so called “tolerant” left who are dumping significant others/family members just because they didn’t get their way politically.
Do you really want to be associated with someone who is so fickle and would destroy the love and work of a marriage of years just because their team lost a freaking election? Puhleeze.
I’ve hooked up anti-gunners, but was never in a relationship with one. “Apathetic” toward guns was probably the closest any of my girlfriends have been to being anti-gun.
I also broke up with a girl a few months ago (in August) for totally non-political reasons who didn’t really enjoy shooting, but had nothing against guns. She used to come to the range with me and just hang out on my bench and pick up all my brass for me. She was awesome like that. I’m totally fine with someone who’s at least tolerant of guns, but I could never be in a relationship with someone who “supports commonsense safety measures, etc.”; I just wouldn’t be able to respect her.
I’m at a point now where I’m ready to find a wife and raise a family, and in the very near future, I’m going to be making a new dating profile. I’ve been pondering the question of whether or not I should mention that I own guns and like to shoot.
On the one hand, I don’t want to mention it because I feel like I should cast a wide net and not risk turning anyone off right out of the gates. On the other hand, I am searching for my future best friend with whom I will spend the rest of my life and who will be the mother of my children. I really don’t want to be with someone who is intolerant of something I’ve been passionate about my entire life.
So I decided I am going to mention guns. I’m going to try to do it in a brief, light-hearted way, but it will be mentioned. I’d rather just screen the anti-gunners out, even if it means blocking otherwise amazing women.
I enjoy debate and argument, which revolves, even if heated at times, around facts and true rhetoric (as in Aristotle’s sense). But there are limits and for a common life there must be certain things held, well, in common. I would suggest one be fairly open minded, but ask themselves before ever dating anyone, what are you non-negotiables?
1. She must be of my faith, practicing etc. I could not but raise any children in my faith, and anyone not of my faith would either butt heads with that, or else they are indifferent. I can be good friends with Baptists, or Jews, or any number of people, but raising children with them?
2. She must be accepting of my primary hobbies, including shooting. I can change some things, like making blackpowder at home, and I accept a reasonable budget (seems wise to agree that each has X sum to spend as they like… discretionary). I can accept things like needing a safe, or not cleaning in the house. But if she opposes me carrying, etc, then we will butt heads.
3. She must at least share some of my hobbies, because hey, I would want to spend time doing what we both enjoy, but shooting need not be one of them (in fact camping would be higher on my list)
4. She must be intelligent and able to discuss/argue literature, or politics, or philosophy, without animosity. And yes such women (and men) do exist. I have dated a few.
As soon as any of these four are broken, I walk away. And if you know any of your nonnegotiables are not met before starting, don’t start. Avoid building an attachment that you will have to break, or be unhappy with.
My wife kept asking for a gun so I got back into them after years on non-interest. She is from Europe which is even more surprising. Also she is highly educated. So we have guns and go shooting once in awhile. The moral is there is a small stable sane pool of American women but the rest are liberals and/or batsh*t crazy. To quote a famous Canadian group:
“American woman stay away from me”
Years ago I read that American women have the highest rate Borderline Personality Disorder aka BPD in the world. There are plenty of European expat groups in the U.S. with alot of single women in them. Several weeks ago there was this Austrian woman asking us to help her. Found out she loves to shoot and had belong to a club back in Austria. Look outside of the box RF.
Well, Robert, assuming that you’ll actually read down this far, I have a somewhat different approach to suggest. Obviously, you’ve discovered the limitations of dating/match-making sites. Just mentioning that you like guns places you somewhere near lepers on the social desirability scale. Soooo . . . I think you should shift focus and take advantage of the skills you have that others don’t have. Here goes:
1. Start offering free women-only beginner’s gun-education courses over at Leghorn’s gun range (you can also do this in Austin Community College’s continuing ed. program). Doing that will put you smack-dab in the middle of the exact demographic you’re looking for. The married women who attend will more than likely have attractive, single friends they can introduce you to and there will also be more than a few attractive and unattached women who not only are OK with guns but like their teacher.
2. You could also offer a continuing ed. course on web-site management and editing. Announce that it’s being offered by the publisher/owner of TTAG and you’ll automatically filter-out those wimmin’ who equate gun-ownership with an awful skin-disease. Any questions?
I’ve read all the comments. Thanks for yours! It’s got me thinking.
I’m thinking this is the start of a new weekly feature at TTAG: Single Wretch of the Week
Articles about discussing civil rights issues with wretched Antis -group therapy for those looking and a window into the dating world that will make the rest of us glad we’re not looking.
I could get behind that! Go for it, RF!
You get group therapy here every day Robert. You were really fishing for guidance and Garrison just gave it. Follow it, however this process makes sense to you, and you’ll succeed. Goals are fine but difficult if you’re off on the process.
Or, RF, you could augment your profile by stating that you’re an accused serial killer.
You’ll get bags of female fan mail and plenty of conjugal visitation.
http://crimefeed.com/2015/06/serial-killer-groupies-murderers-fans/
I married an anti-gunner long before guns were an issue in my life, as I wasn’t raised around them either. She is still anti-gun, a liberal (but not progressively liberal) Democrat. She used to hate my “gun”, but did not object to my black powder revolvers. If she ever felt my gun at my waist, she’d get all freaked out. But after years of total disability and recognizing that we live in an area with many homeless drug addicts, she is glad that I have one in the house, even if she is convinced I will probably shoot myself. In fact, the last time, just a few days ago, when felt my gun, she casually asked me if I’d gotten a new one. (I’ve lost some weight and gotten an IWB holster, so it must have felt different.) [Maybe someday I’ll tell her about the guns she doesn’t know about.
My daughter had a good Catholic elementary school education, and eventually attended one of the most liberal colleges in the US; but she is pretty middle of the road Democrat compared to her college classmates, many of whom would be freaked out if they knew she not only shoots, but shoots well, and owns guns. Quite frankly, I don’t think SHE would date a guy who was anti-gun.
No, I could not. It’s a philosophical lack on their part. They have no means of defending themselves and will call on superior people to risk THEIR lives to defend themselves…. They are, therefore, LIARS.
There exists a continuum: liar, thief, murderer. The slope of that continue varies with the person.
I’d not waste my time; let the dead bury the dead.
Personally I wouldn’t.
That said, your problem is that you’re engaged in online dating which is effectively a Facebook version of dating. The women who get into online dating, for the most part, are vain and engaging in online dating in a narcissistic campaign to compare their cleavage to that of other woman. (Don’t you dare “notice” that though you sexist pig!).
The real reason they’re online is because they can’t hold a conversation for shit because, generally, they can’t talk about anything but themselves, how much they love Whole Foods or how great some cause they support is (virtue signalling).
If you want to find someone to actually date join something you find fun that has single women in it. Kickball leagues are great for this.
So do you have a synagogue you like?
This “I’m a gun enthusiast” bit is being played all wrong. Have fun. Paint the town. Discuss the Tibetan Book of the Dead. But when the inevitable happens and things seem stale, THEN discuss your favorite guns. It’s supposed to be an ace in the hole, not a joker.
It isn’t worth dating someone who is anti-gun, even if you aren’t an avid gun hobbyist yourself. People who are anti-gun are AT BEST people who have made their minds up about a thing that they probably have no experience or no real knowledge about. At worse they are fooled by easily dispelled propaganda. People who do either that are idiots.
Also, Libertarians make the best partners, regardless of your political affiliation.
If you rub your lantern enough, a genie comes out. Use a good lubricant on the lantern and some kleenex as the genie can be messy. Also protective eye wear as the genie will sting if it gets in your eyes. Also sex robots coming soon. Holding out for the cooking and cleaning model. Nag mode off.
A good woman is worth waiting for . If you do not find her enjoy time, money and freedom instead.
I have not ever and would not date an anti-gunner. Just like I would never date a Wiccan, or a Muslim, or a Greenpeace activist. All of those religions (yes, I believe being anti-gun is basically a religion, founded on pure faith on tennets that, despite reason and logical argument to try to convert anti-gunners to see the truth and set them free, seems to imprison them in a psychosis of fear, paranoia, and unwavering devotion to the belief that guns are evil, no matter what anyone says, because that’s how they FEEL. Feelings trump logic to an anti-gunner. No thank you. Not worth my time.
My last girlfriend was bipolar and almost certainly had borderline personality disorder. I hid my first gun from her during the last year of the relationship because I was worried she’d turn it on me or more likely herself. She engaged in highly unethical activity and attempted suicide when caught, so I made a good call there.
As a former liberal, I can assert that liberal women are more often than not flakey, selfish, mentally unstable, and just plain rude. I’m also now in the defense sector, so who I date is highly relevant to my continued job security.
As Ben Shapiro stated on his podcast before Thanksgiving, you must date your values if you want the right mate in your life. I can’t conscionably date a leftist or a gun-grabber for that reason, even if that’s all there was. Anyway, the desire to date again is there, but the will isn’t, so I can’t even be bothered to look 😉
Answer to your question is “no.”
Been there, done that, back in the 80’s, before I got into shooting “seriously,” and in hindsight, dumping her was one of the smarter moves I ever made. I recently learned through friends-of-friends-of-friends that she took her own life after several years of being bat-crap crazy and being (probably over-) medicated by several variously fashionable head-pshrinkers.
Today’s women – sheesh. I wouldn’t want to be a young man in the dating pool now. I more than occasionally chat with young men and listen to their tales of woe about dating today in America. What a trainwreck – and that’s before we get to issues of guns and hunting.
Take a break from dating. I noticed the profile was from Austin. That’s likely the problem. I was a conservative in the wasteland of Madison WI. I moved about 30 miles away and lived on my own for 6 months after my last divorce. Things became a lot clearer. 10 years later, I live a drama free life with my conservative, gun packing wife.
Don’t do it!
I’ve been lucky to have avoided dating serious anti-gunners, but I have ended up on a few dates with ones. Usually it comes out in the context of politics or hobbies. However, I did marry (and divorce) a woman who appreciated shooting and hunting, and I was once lucky enough to date my twin, who voted Republican, liked guns, motorcycles, and Star Trek.
The odds are stacked against you the older you get, but there are gems out there.
Too bad. 3 out of 4 isn’t bad. You will needed to work on moving that Star Trek predilection to a more Star Wars point of view…
People who hate you because they disagree with you are called bigots. That’s the definition. I love calling liberals bigots. It short-circuits their politically-correct robot brains when you call them out on it. Their cognitive dissonance is so strong they just get more angry, loud, and hateful. It’s great!
Educating people on the proper use of words may come off as pedantic, but I’ve found that it’s extremely helpful in cases like this when people are willfully ignorant and hypocritical (i.e. self-proclaimed “tolerant” liberals who are vehemently intolerant of pro-gun folks). Once in a while, you just might catalyze an ideological epiphany. In the worst case, you’ll be unfairly labeled and criticized, and just need to move on.
You need a good shadchan, not the internet. Shidduch is a much better way to find a khaverte. Leave the reform shiksim alone.
All I will say is that my wife is from Canada and was very ant-gun when we met & married. It was a subject that never came up when we dated. Once we were married and the more we talked about it her anti-gun views began to weaken. A nearby robbery and criminal hiding in the next door building (apartments) brought her around.
She now goes shooting with me and is on the pro-gun side now.
I’m married, so this is all hypothetical. I got into guns several years after being married, so guns never came up in past dating relationships. My wife is neutral on the subject and takes no part in my shooting hobby. But yes, I think I could date someone who was anti-gun if we had a lot of other things in common. I really like my guns, but my life doesn’t completely revolve around my guns. But, since I’m not a gun blogger, unless a girl was an obvious gun person, guns probably wouldn’t be the first thing to come up. Sure, if we talked about hobbies I’d mention I like to go shooting. I’d ease into the fact that I conceal carry all the time and other details about my gun preferences. Anyway, if a girl was a sweet person with a lot to offer, her not liking guns wouldn’t stop me from a relationship. And no, if she gave me an ultimatum, I wouldn’t get rid of my guns, because if she felt the need to do that, we probably weren’t clicking that well to begin with.
That said, even before I liked guns, every single one of my serious girlfriends was a conservative, like me. That wasn’t a conscience decision, it was just what happened. So, at this point (theoretically), I doubt I’d get seriously involved with a liberal woman since I have a track record of only conservative girlfriends.
NO
I dated a woman who leaned anti-gun. I took her shooting and taught her how to handle firearms safely. She had a blast. Of course, she freaked when, after a time, I told her I carried…everywhere. And then I explained to her why I did so. I took her shooting a few more times. We’re married now.
She’ll never carry a gun (at least not that I can foresee), but she’s not the person she was before. And neither am I, but I still carry, everywhere, all the time.
If she got bigguns, I’ll date a libtard.
Is this more of that famous liberal tolerance we keep hearing about?
“Anti-gunner” implies an ideologue, and that suggests someone who is closed off to further discussion. I really don’t get along with that sort of folk.
Someone who says, “I believe X because reasons Y” and doesn’t follow it up with “and people who believe not-X are, literally, Hitler”– I can at least have a conversation with those people, no matter what value is assigned to X.
(Well, I guess unless X == Nazi stuff. But I’m usually pretty good at filtering for Nazis when I meet people. I went to school in Illinois after all.)
More relevantly, based on my knowledge of Texas culture, (which is founded on knowing people from there, part of my family being from there, and being born in a state immediately adjacent to there,) isn’t meeting people at church events kind of a thing in the Lone Star State?
Admittedly, that puts you a bit behind the 8-ball if you’re not, actually, a Christian. Still, if I were a betting man, I’d say if you can’t find a suitable (firearm-friendly) candidate at a Christian-themed event in Texas, there are probably larger issues at work….
Is Paris well worth a mass?
…
Here’s Fred Reed’s timely comments on this question:
Gun Control: Hawglegs and Hawgwash
“…If a woman tells me that she favors gun control, I can with confidence predict that she favors unchecked immigration, sanctuary cities, affirmative action, banning the Confederate flag, suppressing Christianity, homosexual marriage, abortion, feminism, and the dumbing down–she will call it something else–of schools to avoid wounding the self-esteem of the usual suspects.
The question of guns demarcates a sharp dividing line between who read the New York Times and those for whom it is the house organ of a class of people they detest. This is the Trumpo-Hillarian Chasm. New York, which controls the country with Washington as its action arm, is not particularly cognizant of what goes on in the rest of the US. The imposition of political correctness prevents New York from hearing anything it doesn’t like, but also prevents it from knowing the extent to which people believe things New York doesn’t want to hear. Thus their surprise at the rise of Trump, which anyone could have suspected after an hour in Joe’s Bar in Chicago…”
http://www.unz.com/freed/gun-control-hawglegs-and-hawgwash/
…
I don’t need to date a woman who owns guns, but she would have to respect my choice to own and carry.
You lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.
My wife does not like guns. So kind of yes. If she had been vociferous enough against gun rights we probably would not have made it far, though. It’s hard to be with someone who will treat you like crap simply for disagreeing with you. Which I am very sad to say has been my experience with many people.
Good luck in your search for companionship. I am grateful for and remained absolutely committed to my wife despite and in many cases because of our differences.
Could I date an anti-gunner?
I’d sooner drink bleach.
This is true–I was lottery lucky with my first wife. She was a midwestern girl who was gorgeous, kind, nurturing–and insisted on HER OWN shotgun and .40 S&W, having been a shooter since she was a teenager. Sadly, she died. I stayed alone for 13 years because nothing is more depressing than being married to the wrong woman. It’s a prison you build for yourself! After 13 years, I was lucky enough to win the lottery again…ANOTHER midwesterner babe. Delightful, beautiful, kind, and a sharpshooter. The moral of the story? Seek out women who grew up in rural areas, or parts of our great nation where guns are not an anathema or a totem of hate. They’re out there, and they are real and delightfully loving & supportive. The crazy ones/liberals? Good for a night/weekend of fun, but long-term they’re just toxic beyond words. Stay selective, but look in the right places and you increase the odds of success. Just one man’s opinion, but it worked for me TWICE. I’m a happy bastard!
Sorry to hear about your first wife. Looks like you’re happy again and that’s all that will ever really matter in life. And guns. But guns are happiness to me. Best of wishes and long life and health to you two!
And a LUCKY Bastard too it seems!
If my wife dies before me I doubt I’ll find another as good.
No, my wife would object….
But if single, answer would still be no. I pretty much always carry, so there would be no getting around the issue.
Date an anti? No. Bend her over once or twice? If she’s hot.
My advice to every man of any age anywhere: Stop attempting to attract a mate in any way. Focus on being financially successful and contributing to your community. Focus on your own success and the success of those around you. Climb up and bring as many as you can up with you. Hustle for that every day.
Every person I’ve ever seen focus on those two things has never had any difficulty attracting a mate.
Do not marry an anti-gun women. As Dr. Laura says “They are who they are. They will (notwithstanding protests to the contrary) NOT change for you. Incompatabilities do NOT go away — she will, however, take the children and ALL of your money.
Re dating. There are plenty of non-gun hating women in the world. Look for one and you will find her.
If you must date one who is anti-gun, expect go waste a lot of time and effort only to be disappointed.
You guys think finding a gun girl is hard, you should try finding a gay guy that’s pro second amendment. I’ve met a few that were not against it, but none that were willing to fight for it. And that’s in the southeast.
I live in Seattle, and its been rough dating here. My present GF isnt into guns and was minorly against them when we started dating. But, after some long chats I managed to break down the ins and outs of guns, and why I carry. Now, shes happy I carry when we are out in the city cause of the insane homelessness.
I hope that Iive shown people here that gun owners are good, law abidding citizens.
Why create more work for yourself?
I try to avoid “fixeruppers” because people tend to be adverse to change, especially the older they get.
The exception would be they are open to logical conversations and are vehemently “anti”.
My wife is from europe. When she found out I had a lot of guns, she said I would have to get rid of them if we got married. I said, looks like we aren’t getting married. She changed her mind shortly after that conversation. Now years later she has her own pistol, an M&P 22, and goes shooting with me occasionally.
Everyone’s different, and so are the depths of our convictions. This has become a divisive issue in politics, but there are other issues that divide as well. Anyone who’s reasonable and loving, you can at least find some middle ground with, possibly enough middle ground for a deeper relationship.
My uncle married my aunt who’s not a fan of firearms, and he’s not a huge gun guy, but he owns a shotgun and went hunting every year with family (our side of the family) for over twenty years. She never went with, never cleaned the doves, but she ate some. He still has his shotgun and she doesn’t mind too much. Everyone’s different. Good luck!
I Married an Anti gun Woman.
I Was in the closet Until 2012 about my ownership of Guns. When I came out, I brought home a Beretta.
I Took her shooting. She tolerated but hated my “hobbies”. Hated worse when i talked about them, especially with her pro gun family! any way……… In 2015 she heard a “bump in the night” in our house, i ignored it, she insisted I get u and check it out….. I jumped up garbed my gun and searched the house. Home found to be safe, wife calmed down and said…. Im glad you did not have to use that………………….but im glad that you had it…… LETS GO TO THE GUN STORE BABY!!!
I dated a women who was kinda/sorta afraid of guns. Claimed she would never allow guns into her residence, or live in a place where guns were kept. We had a calm, logical discussion. I took her to the range. We have been married for 11 years….and keep many guns in the house. She owns three of them. The only anti-gunners that need to be avoided are those, like the woman above, who are close minded and refuse to have a discussion.
Also Jewish, gun owning and single. I have it buried in my Jdate profile. My last girlfriend wasn’t Jewish but was pro gun. It didn’t work out and I am back on the market. I’d prefer to date someone who shares my religious tradition.
Comments are closed.