“An Idaho motorist told the local sheriff’s department that a Bigfoot sighting caused her to crash her car last Wednesday night.” The Huffington Post “reports” that “the woman told the Latah County (Idaho) Sheriff’s Office that she saw a Sasquatch chasing a deer on a stretch of US-95 outside of Potlatch.”

Lets assume you were changing a tire out in the boonies. Here comes Bigfoot, posing an imminent credible threat of grievous bodily harm or death to you or other innocent life.

For some reason, you’ve prepared for just such an eventuality; you’re armed for bear (at the least). With something LEGAL.

Bringing down one of the big beasts wouldn’t be easy. The witness above described the Yeti as “shaggy” (oh wow, Scoob!) standing between seven and eight feet tall. As taking down a deer — on foot without firearm — requires some serious speed, you probably aren’t going to get a second chance.

So what gun, what round to defend yourself against a rampaging humanoid biped? Side question: trophy hunters not welcome?

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202 COMMENTS

  2. If I was out and about in bear country? Glock 20 with the hottest load I could handle. With my normal load? Empty the magazine. Nothing is going to particularly enjoy 18 rounds of +p 9mm critical duty.

    • Depending on the situation you might only get a few rounds of before he was on you. I would want something with more stopping power than that in case I could only get a round or two off. 45acp minimum if it was a handgun but I would prefer a shotgun.

      • If I shoot something 18 times and it doesn’t die, I’m not fighting Sasquatch, I’m fighting the fucking terminator.

    • Yep, that would tend to put some serious hurt on any two-legged or four-legged attacker.

    • Hey man an AR pistol is still a pistol. Cc might be difficult but still would make a decent walking companion.

    • I could not for the life of me imagine what purpose something that light, handy, fast firing, high capacity and rapidly reloadable with that much power could possibly be the ideal tool for…until you had to go and ask ‘what gun for Bigfoot’, and it was the very first thing that popped into mind. Glad to see I’m not the only one.

  4. Whenever my wife is changing a flat tire I usually stand guard with an M1. So I guess I’d have to go with that…

  5. Medium velocity grenade. You get a 10M kill zone and I’m not interested in bringing back a trophy. ?☠️

  8. Custom round loaded with Jack Link beef jerky. From the commercials, that stuff’s supposed to drive Bigfoot over the edge.

    Or a man-portable Dillon. Since we’re talking make-believe…

    • I use to say it is make believe to. Them one day when I was hiking, I walked out in a open feild and had rocks the size of watermelons, being thrown at me from about 200 yards away and saw a group of trees that far off shaking like in jerasic Park and a big black spot in the trees 8-10feet high and 15-20 feet wide. (More that just one bigfoot or whatever) I can’t say I saw Bigfoot but you tell me what elce could it be? Sure as hell there was something weard there that day! And it was something that can pick up a throw rocks a good 200 yards!!! (Distance to the shaking trees and where the rocks where landing) I know still don’t believe right just like I use to be. When you live in you will beleave!!!

      • I’m working on buying a house in the NC mountains – and Bigfoot is there – I’ve seen the evidence. The owner has lived there 35 years; he feeds BF cake icing smeared on a tree, etc.
        This woman is very convincing. She saw BF looking right at her and was incredibly shaken by the event, even telling the story years later:
        https://sasquatchchronicles.com/sc-ep759-its-right-there/
        And yes, BF is known for throwing large stones from a good distance away… So, yeah, I want to carry the right thing around my new home…

  9. Mossberg 930 High Performance Kryptek Yeti Camo with 3″ 000 Buck shells. The only “Official” choice. Obviously.

    • Good luck finding some 000 buck 0000 would be better but 00 federal flight control, was the best I could find for sale good stuff and tight pattern one less pellet, but 8 hits is better than 9 fails.

  10. 55gr .223 solid. And let him get real close. I need as little damage to the hide and skull as possible.
    Of course, the big win would be a wounding shot where he could get away. I’d track the blood trail and then bag the whole family.
    I hear the loins are delicious.

  11. If I am to take down a mythical creature which the MSM claims does not exist, I want something in the 30 watt range. Preferably with a thingy that folds up and a high capacity clipazine which won’t run dry. After that a strong hairbrush, can’t have the ‘squatch looking unkempt for the after pix……..and lipstick……..

  12. Tranquilizer dart, probably Fentanyl, yeah? If it was proven to exist it would be retroactively added to the ESL, so you’d go to prison for shooting it.

    • Plus, under the influence of the tranquilizer, he’d give you all the classified info on Area 51 and the ’47 Roswell alien crash…..

    • I agree on the 45-70. I believe “Josh Randall” was supposed to have carried a mare’s leg in 45-70.

    • I’ve made a point to never watch it, but one of the commercials for it mugged me once:

      http//www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/finding-bigfoot/

      The clips of the cast looked and sounded exactly like what I imagine a smug Hollywood exec thinks gun enthusiasts look and talk like.

      Took me a while to clean up the condescension that dripped off the TV.

    • Nope. We’re all paying attention, working hard, and definitely not faffing off at the office reading about guns

    • I belong to some prepper/SHTF/End of the world FB groups. I can assure you this is discussed? Anywho since Bigfoot is just an extinct ape I’d want an Apeload…

    • You weren’t around when the “innawoods stories” and Skinwalker craze hit /k/, were you?

  17. The obvious answer is the Magnum Research BFR. I understand that the BFR stands for ‘Big Foot Reaper’……

    As to the caliber, that’s of secondary importance but .454 Casull/.475 Linebaugh/.460 or .500 S&W should do the job.

  20. I would never kill such a magical creature.
    That’d be like killing a unicorn.

    Plus, since it seems that the animal is a predator, he’s probably eaten up with parasites, so I aint gonna eat it. Just sayin

  21. It is well established that the Skwatch is light on his feet….he’s got moves. And, we want him alive!

    .308 leg-shot.

  22. I would go with a lever-action rifle in .45-70 Government … shooting something like a 430 grain hardcast lead bullet with a big flat meplat that should exit the barrel around 1,500 fps.

    That is equivalent to a 12 gauge shotgun shooting a 1 ounce (437.5 grains) slug!

  24. Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40watt range for Bigfoot. You know why? Because neither frickin exists!!!!

  25. .700 Nitro Express, chambered in a Holland Holland double rifle, if it isn’t too much of a bother, old boy.

  26. Don’t shoot Sasquatch! I heard form Michael Moore that there is more energy in Bigfoot’s burp than in all of the Unicorn tears and Butterfly farts combined!

  27. No need to shoot him. Sasquatch is harmless as long as you don’t mess with him. Enjoy your Jack Links.

  28. Might as well go all out, a vehicle mounted Angry 107 with a Beehive round ought to do the trick – that way his hide will already be tacked to a tree.

  30. In terms of range, size, diet and habitat, Bigfoot compares well to the black bear. Likely a good bear gun will take down a Bigfoot.
    That brings up the “however.”
    Black bears are legally hunted and seen. Given the number of hunters in the woods, it’s impossible to think that. Nobody has ever gotten a kill.
    Then is the need for a viable population. Supposedly, Bigfoot has been around for hundreds of year. This returns us to the size of the black bear population and how often they encounter people.
    Last are the shows that supposedly search for Bigfoot. The plot is always the same: start with the mystery and the legends. Toss in some reenactments. Have the intrepid hunters walk the woods banging on trees, howeling etc. Finally, have some ambiguous evidence “that science can’t explain.” Last close with lead to the next program.

  32. 10mm. Its shoots through mooses. That’s been documented. All of your arguments are invalid.

    • watched an article about guys shooting a 500-700 pound grizzly. 31 shots with 10mm and 45acp. only died when someone popped it in the side of the head at 5 feet. most of their rounds never penetrated through the fat. now talk about something that can get 900 pounds, heavy muscled, and incredibly fast. your pipedreams of pistol defense is noteworthy. you obviously have not faced a 1000 pound angry animal with a pistol. good luck. you’ll be on the list of missing and never found.

  33. I’d prefer a lot of distance between Biggie and myself, so I’m thinking .338 Lapua Mag. in a highly operational operator’s fully automatic assault weapon with a silencer and a combo IR/low-light sniperscope.

  34. Need my J frame so that I can press it into his flesh while he’s pummeling the poop out of me. He might turn me into jerky anyway…

  37. A Super Redhawk Alaskan in 454 Casull MIGHT be adequate with proper shot placement, but that’s if you can keep a steady hand under imminent threat. Since ‘squatch attacks happen on such a regular basis in that part of the country, I propose Ruger get cracking on a Super Redhawk Idahoan chambering 50 cal rifle rounds.

  38. Well being that the Sasquatch is probably supernatural I’d use some of those special silver packed loads from Monster Hunter International fired though a Thompson .45 for up close and something .308 at a distance.

  39. I expect Bigfoot would carry a Mod. 29 Smith, .44 Magnum.
    And sure, I’d buy him a round and I’m sure he’d do it for me. (Especially since I’m a teetotaler, so I’d be a cheap date).

    • Make sure you go to a gun store with a dedicated Big Foot Gun Section(TM). There will be a dedicated Big Foot Gun Expert(TM) behind the counter to answer every question you have.

  45. William Moore & Co. side by side with 8 gauge slugs. It was good enough for Burt in Tremors.

  46. Geko 9mm AP. If it took out that fat bastidge Biggy Smalls, then Biggy Foot would be child’s play.

  47. +1 for a Glock 20 with hot loads, or my 686 with Buffalo Bore’s. A Henry 44 mag. or 45-70 would do the trick as well, but not nearly as easy or practical to carry… Just my $.02

  52. There is only one gun suitable for BigFoot.

    A Ghost Gun.

    It also doesn’t hurt that it has a thirty caliber clip, to disperse with thirty bullets within half a second. Thirty magazine clip in half a second!

    That should do the trick.

  53. Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
    Just in case you run into that other rabbit’s brother as well.

  54. The only time that I ran across one I only had a .22 rifle with me. Needless to say I didn’t take the shot.

  56. It’s unfortunate Big Foot doesn’t live in England. The citizens there are only allowed to carry a “marking spray” to identify your murderer/rapist/fictional animal AFTER they’re done with you. However, +1 to carrying Chuck Norris when in Big Foot territory.

  57. It’s unfortunate for Big Foot that he doesn’t live in England. The citizens there are only allowed to carry a “marking spray” to identify your murderer/rapist/fictional animal AFTER they’re done with you. However, +1 to carrying Chuck Norris when in Big Foot territory.

  60. Funny you should ask. I just loaded up some 45-70’s for exactly that purpose ! 305gr Lehigh Defense solids going at 1850ft/s out of a Henry AW should do the trick. 🙂

  61. Not sure that I’d take a shot at Bigfoot. Based on the accounts (hairy, smelly, etc) he or she may be some long lost relative. However if I was convinced that the critter wasn’t kin and I perceived a genuine threat to my person, I’d go with my Remington 870 firing slugs and Ruger Super Redhawk loaded with 300 grain solids. If that doesn’t work I’ll give him the keys to my pickup and $20 for gas and send him on his way.

  64. Henry All Weather in .45-70 Gov’t. Probably gonna want the Winchester 12 loaded with slugs as backup. And a Ruger Super Redhawk Alaskan in .454 Casull just in case.

  65. Does this mean we’re done with zombies? I never get the forking memo.

    Here I thought bigfoot was just nuisance vermin. Next time I shoot one does this mean I gotta have a tag?

  66. I don’t want to live in a world with one less Bigfoot. So I’d take out him and every other living thing on earth, with a round of .22 ratshot.

  67. To hunt Bigfoot, I’d use an “assault weapon,” because, like Bigfoot, “assault weapons” are completely made up.

  68. E-11 Blaster Rifle using plasma cartridges. 500 shots from that should do the trick.

    However, if that fails, fall back and call in an orbital strike followed by sending in a full division of clones backed by LAAT gunships to mop up. (Mixing Sci-Fi I know, my bad.)

  69. 12 gauge slug out of a maverick pump.

    Cuz it would be cool if a dirt broke kid bagged the greatest zoological discovery in the history of ever w/ a dirt cheap gun.

  71. For a roughly 7ft-9ft bipedal, heavy muscled primate that could weigh anything from 700lbs to 900lbs, I would choose the following.

    Marlin 45-70
    12 Gauge Shotgun with either heavy slugs or buck shot, 00 or 000.
    30-06 bolt gun (for distance)
    44 Mag Revolver

    Anything that could drop a good sized Black Bear or moose should do.

    • That should do the job, however the biger the animal the slower the heart beat = the longer it will live even after a shot though the heart. Better hope it doesn’t keep coming at you!

  73. My Desert Eagle .50 ae should do it. Dropping bigfoot would help justify the money I splurged on it.

  74. A Glitter Boy combat suit’s railgun. SAMAS Combat armor ain’t enough.

    Apologies to Kevin Siembieda, creator of the RIFTS rpg and universe.

  78. 12 gauge one ounce slug. Good for bear defense so I’m guessing it works on a fictitious creature too.

    • Try the 357 defender (12 ga round) 357 is just the name of the round custom made $18 a shot but it will pen, hp slug made of aluminum with a 357 hp slug inside of it’s hp. If that don’t kill it try a 50 cal by the way a 12ga = 50cal but the rounds are not as good.

  80. Marlin 1895G with 4 rounds of 430gr. Hard Cast +P.

    If I can’t kill it with that load I really do not need to be shooting at it.

  81. Since I can’t comfortably shoot .44 mag, I hope that I would have my trusty S&W M27 by my side. Six rounds of .357 mag 125gr JHP pack a considerable punch, and if that wasn’t enough I have a couple of speedloaders in a belt pouch too.

    Nah. I’ll reload while I watch the sucker bleed out. Six rounds is enough. 🙂

    Charlie

  82. I recommend bigfoot defend himself from rampaging humanoid bipeds with a rifle loaded with combination anti-psychotic/tranquilizer darts.

    • Hmmm. I grew up around Bigfoot country. Not exactly pith helmet country. Huzoor might want to save the pith helmet for La Chupacabra.

  84. I’m just a simple caveman, frightened by your horseless carriages and the magic device in my pocket – the demons inside it convey the voices of my friends and family over great distances! What little I know about your fire-poles tells me that if .30-06 won’t stop the hated Ape-bear, then I should have chosen other lands to settle.

    • 22lr LMAO that might get past the hair and hide. Try sticking it in its mouth or butt maybe you will get it’s attention.

  91. Dear Lord, man! I’ve never seen such an easy question answered so wrongly by so many! When in quest of mythical beasts one should naturally use a cartridge named after such. Since my 750 Bigfoot Disemboweler Magnum has yet to be certified by SAAMI (it’s a 10 gauge necked to take a 2 ounce, 875 grain SWC projectile traveling at about 1750 fps for all you wildcatters) the next best thing is, of course, the .50 Beowulf. I mean one mythical being slaying another is just classic! (I’ve discounted the 6.5 Grendel as being sufficient only for smaller mythical beasts like maybe the Thunderbird at best and has no use at all in stalking the larger bipedal beasts). The 750 BDM theoretically should shoot through at least 7 Bigfoot(s) making the $14 per round ammo actually a bargain at just $2 per animal.

  92. I’d use a banana and a rabbit snare. Then stick an ether soaked rag under his nose.

  93. Being as bears have been known to travel up to 5 miles after being shoot straight through the heart. I don’t think that it will matter much to the shooter what what knid of gun or cal you use. Because even if you kill it it most likely live long enough to kill you before it dies!! I would shoot it with what ever I had at hand but ONLY if I had to shoot (don’t pick the fight) and if you have to shoot you better hope it brakes off its attack and runs off to die!!

  94. If you are going hunting for it I would use a 12 ga loded with 357 defender rounds they run about $18 usd per shot but have great pen, and a 500 handgun as backup.

  99. Ran into one while bear hunting on the Washington peninsula in the early 70s. All the bloodhounds came back and hid under the truck. Except our female walker. I remember the screaming. We found the dog. Had to dig her out from under a stump. She had a broken leg and all the hide on one side cleanly ripped off. You people that chose a pistol may want to think twice. The dog died. I guess it was lunch for later. I still hear those screams.

  100. Mayby a 6.5 Creed, or better yet, a 308. Nothing smaller then a 300 caliber for sure. 300 Blkout, mayby. Need good penetration for a beast like Bigfoot.

  103. the obvious choice is a 10-gauge 0000 buck if it’s not down after two shots of that I’m not hunting bigfoot I’m hunting the ###### predator.

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