http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U3xKDvjM8U

Whether you’re in Mogadishu or Aleppo it’s catch-as-catch-can in rebel fighting land. You find a heavy machine gun, secure some ammo, weld the thing onto a pickup truck and it’s Allahu Akbar all day long. Assuming you had access to some primo hardware, both gun and truck, what combo would you choose? Oh, and one more thing. Wolverines!

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

103 COMMENTS

  1. Get a fifty trucks, mount a PK on each, and you have a cavalry regiment fit to take on any African warlord’s militia.

    • For the truck: Ford F-150 3 in lift, supercharged diesel not gas engine.
      If the SHTF you can filter fry oil from the local fast food joint to make it run.
      Steel tube bumpers front and rear, just in case you need to move one of those brain dead Sunday drivers out of the way, or run over some brain eating zombies.
      The size of the F-150 is not to huge, but not tiny either. It has heft and weight in case you run across an IED. Much like the Toyota Tundra which would be a choice if I was outside the US they are powerful and can put up with a beating. Both with diesels can have some armor added to them to help against bullets and other things.
      Gun: M2HB-QCB made by browning and in service in one form or another since 1933. It is solid and works, and chances are if you run into issues, your friends or possibly foes might have parts you can use to repair it.

      In both cases I asked myself what, in the US, has been made forever and a day. What is most popular, and what is maintainable. Sure the Lamborghini SUV is sweet, but really? Parts are a pain..

      • Actually, I would choose the new F350 Super duty, preferably the dually. It could serve a dual purpose, as being a protective gun truck, and hauling gear, and pulling trailers. In addition, it comes in a diesel, And I agree with the M2, but and M240 could carry more ammo, although lacking some stopping power aginst armored targets

    • @ Robert Farago:
      You ended the paragraph with “Wolverines!” and a hot babe in tight combat shorts and a turban manning a .50 cal immediately came to mind.

      You’ve got me conditioned, RF.

    • What’s funny is that they are fighting with crap trucks and Jerry-rigged weapons amongst rubble, under a giant overpass near apartment/office buildings, and they have Internet access to post videos.

      I bet they use gunbroker and gunbot to rearm and resupply.

  2. I’d say an M3 halftrack with a Quad 50…

    …But I’d have to go with an H1 with a 50 on the back.

    Or more than one 50.

    • M2? Really go big or go home. H1 with either a MK19 or a M134 on the back. Set you back a home loan just in ammo. But totally worth it.

        • Sir Newton plays no favorites. If the recoil of the GAU is enough to noticeably slow down an A-10, it’s going to flip your truck.

        • Half track? I don’t think you’re going big enough. Does a CAT 797F count as a pickup? Slap your GAU8 on a motorized swivel mount on the front, drop a Bofors 40mm in the bed for AA and just run over anything that’s too small to shoot.

  4. You choose the MG; it all starts with a Toyota pickup, for longevity and parts availability worldwide.

  6. I think I’d have to go with the GMC Denali w/concealed minigun (ala Secret Service).
    But, that’s just me.

  8. Hilux and a PK is probably the best outside of North America, parts availability and all. Here in the USA I’d say K1500 and an M2. An F-150 would also be a solid choice.

  10. Yep, the Toyota hoopty, classic hauler of camels, sheep, goats and their herders throughout the middle east. And nuthin says mine’s biggern yourn than a zpu-2, a brace of 14.5mm auto-goodness. Gonna need another hoopty to haul the ammo.

  13. Quad-cab F650 244″ wheelbase. 4 mg240s off the sides with a 60mm flack-cannon in the bed.

  14. 1970 Landrover, the kind with few electronics, and the back roof cut off, and a dual full auto 20mm anti air cannon modified to take out ground units.

  16. ’72 Chevy El Camino with an M240. Kick start my Heart by Mötley Crew and don’t stop me now by Queen on a constant loop.

  17. Toyota Hilux with a Czech UK Vz.59. Indestructible truck with a lightweight, belt fed weapon that still shoots a nice powerful round that’s easily found.

    • Have you seen the Top Gear episode where they TRY to destroy a Hi-Lux… and fail?

      Tough truck, indeed.

      • Yeah, you have. And looking up thread it appears so has every one else.

        Now I will do the dance of my people.

        Fluurdeguurrrdebligph!

  18. GMC 2500 with the diesel, and anything you want. For that size I am thinking .50 and a recoiless rifle for good measure.

  19. http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A2KJkIdImcRRjA0A.nqJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dgiant%2Bpu%2Bwith%2Bmachine%2Bguns%26n%3D30%26ei%3Dutf-8%26y%3DSearch%26fr%3Dmcafee%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D38&w=680&h=450&imgurl=www.firearmstalk.com%2Fimages%2F3%2F9%2F0%2F8%2F3%2Ftechnical-786.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.firearmstalk.com%2Fentries%2FA-High-Tech-Technical.html&size=173.4KB&name=High+Tech+Technical+-+christophereger+-+technical-786.jpg&p=giant+pu+with+machine+guns&oid=41ced1cec34634a9c2b9cabdf778c9ea&fr2=&fr=mcafee&tt=High+Tech+Technical+-+christophereger+-+technical-786.jpg&b=31&ni=72&no=38&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=11u28jl8t&sigb=13sus6e6o&sigi=11npdljn2&.crumb=1.deJl2USYo&fr=mcafee

    • They got enough ammo crates around the base of that mount to sort of off set the top heavy aspects of it. But they better fire straight behind. Off to either side and they might roll it from recoil.

  23. I was always fond of the Ford F-150’s with bag ass AA guns mounted on the back that the Iraqi Police had.

  24. I’d have to go with a Nissan Titan with uparmored window glass, a roof-mounted mini-gun facing forward on a Q switch, with another facing rearward, also on a Q switch (hey, the passenger’s gotta have something to do, right?), and as long as I’m driving through fantasyland, I might as well have side-mounted grenade launchers and… what the hell… two side-mounted Sidewinder missiles with advanced AI laser guidance. Yea though I drive through the valley of death… 🙂

  26. Lets be realistic here. If we’re going to have a Technical it will be in a third world country, so a Toyota Hilux would be the first choice in terms of a pickup truck as they are simply EVERYWHERE.

    Machine gun would be a choice between the DshK, PKM and the RPD for wide availability of everything for them at the Khyber Pass.

  28. I would like a Browning M2 .50 BMG in the back of a Ford Excusion 7.3L 4×4. Oh I’m drooling a little bit thinking about it. lol

  32. “weld the thing onto a pickup truck and it’s Allahu Akbar all day long”

    MANY lolz at this

  37. El Camino + DShK
    (yes, I do realize the absurdity of putting such a large firearm on such a small vehicle)

  39. If money were no option and needed a smash n grab Ford Raptor with a supercharger and a GAU-19 mounted up top!

  40. A deuce and a half with sandbags and armor plate. M2 brownings at front and wing positions. M79. Stacks of laws rockets. Or RPG’s if you can secure a supply. People batshit crazy enough to man it. Good times will be had.

    • Agreed. Anything without transistors or computer controlled fuel injection would be a great asset against EMP. (the only cool thing about the new Red Dawn..). Plus, those old deuces would burn anything! Diesel, kerosene, vege oil, gasoline, motor oil… Whatever

  41. Think outside the box: Ural sidecar rig, with any of the choices shown in the factory demo video (machine-gun, grenade-launcher, anti-tank).
    Relatively easy on gas, available in camo, up to 3 riders with gear.
    Easy to field-repair.
    Plus when not used as a gun platform, you can use it as a grocery-getter and give nieces/nephews rides.

    • It is, they call it a Tacoma. I love mine. Had it for 10 years and done way more stupid things than a person should in a vehicle with a high roll over risk. It still runs beautifully.

    • The official vehicle of the Taliban. Every time you see a rebel group in a remote and infrastructure free location it’s a near sure bet they’ll be operating Toyotas of one make or another.

  43. Hands-down winner in real life, always: Toyota Hilux/Tacoma.

    This former reporter has boxes full of newspaper clippings from the 1980s forward. Before my friend/colleague Charles Thorton was gunned down in Afghanistan in 1985, (by either Afghani regulars, rebels or Soviet troops) he shared many stories that would curdle your blood. One recurring theme is how often, and how widely used the Toyota trucks are in the military. From the ME to all throughout Africa, it was far and away the truck/weapon of choice.

    “Chad’s Toyotas Rout Libyan Tanks” is one of my favorite headlines from the era. Ghaddaffi got his butt kicked by .50s, 30mm cannons and Milan missles mounted in the beds of the little trucks.

    I’ll take that one.

  45. Vehicle and MG combo?

    What people want:
    >.50 cal or M134 mounted on some behemoth can go anywhere. Would also be lightly armored from scavenged parts.

    What people will actually use in a SHTF/civil war scenario:
    >any 4×4 with a full-auto modified AR or AK and drum mags everywhere. Could also modify fixed guns to the side and front of the vehicle that could be remotely operated from the cab.

  47. Machine gun mounted to truck are NOT worth a damn as fighting vehicles. Their primary and best use is as patrol missions and check-point/guard duty, where over-watch is the order of the day. This is double the case in urban settings.

    Fighting from them is a last resort. And the best way to do that is drive as fast as you can to the nearest concrete building and taking you and your machine-gun inside.

    • While they lack protection, they make up for it in speed, range, and manouverability. Add a M2 or a 14.5mm, and you will have something that can do a shoot and scoot, appearing and disappearing almost at will.

      And don’t forget a RPG-7 and a box of reloads for extra hitting power.

      My vote is for the Toyota Hilux/Tacoma. Thoroughly unbreakable. Able to go almost anywhere. Very reliable with good parts availability. Turbo-diesel engine with factory optional extra fuel tanks, and you can rove at will where the enemy will least expect you.

  49. A Subaru Brat with 2 Swedish bikini models in the jump seats blazing away with
    Matching full auto Atchisson Assault Shotguns!

  50. If I was too poor for an SVT Raptor, I would roll in a Ranger FX4, and a m240 for either truck.

  53. Old Jeep CJ8 with the indestructible 4.0 straight 6. Remove the top and put a pintle mounted converted 7.62×51 mg43 in it. Yes, such a beast exists, I saw one on gunbroker once. Full auto fun with rock crawling capabilities!

  54. Going to have to keep it traditional–fifth gen Hilux 4×4 with 2 PKM’s or single DShK on a DYI pintle mount, big mudders and mild lift, winch in the front, diesel preferred. If you wanna Americanize it, Ford Ranger (any built after 1998, it never changed all that much) w/ M2. I dunno if it would pass Top Gear’s Hilux torture test but I’ve seen those little Fords survive some insane beatings, we’ve had several in our family. Parts for them are available everywhere too.

  55. I’d go with an ice cream truck with a mini gun mounted to the serving window and the music cranked as high as it goes. 🙂

Comments are closed.