02MODERNMAN-master180

“The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.” – Number 25 in Brian Lombardi’s list, 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man [at nytimes.com]

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157 COMMENTS

    • The problem with “modern man” and I assume we are speaking in the societal sense not the evolutionary sense, cuz the evolutionary “Modern Man” kicked ass and took names in the survival game. …but I digress. The problem with the “modern man” in question is that when the “modern” is removed from the equation, this guy is clueless for at least a while. If given time he would eventually drop right back into the swing of nature, but nature may not give him that opportunity. His biggest problem is that he doesn’t believe that scenario could ever come about.

      We won’t be listening to “modern man’s” bright ideas if the SHTF…

      …and in that scenario, be sure to give him a quick punch in the gut when no one is looking.

      • Agreed. You should read the whole list. It’s sad. A transparently desparate attempt to convince himself that his own effeminate, hyper-liberal, cuckolded life is somehow a paradigm for all men. Give me a break. He needs to tone down the narcissism and put this type of projection in the trash.

        • Agreed. That list is a list of ‘Justifying my life’ text.

          Or rather: “You should do as I do”.

          Shoe size, seriously? My wife doesn’t know mine, nor do I expect her to.

          Self aggrandizing posture weasel.

      • Three Things have not changed since Cain slew Abel. the Human Body, the Human Mind and Human Nature. pretending the gun changed us into a violent society is pretty ignorant of history.

    • Yeah, I agree. I mean c’mon, will this guy grow a pair? No need of a gun but he sleeps towrad the door to protect his wife from an intruder? Is that a joke? What’s this puss boo-boo going to do use harsh language? Maybe his wife will get up, grab her S&W 646 and protect her lame hubby form the night crawler.

      What trash; typical for the NYTimes.

    • Cosmopolites. The article personifies a significant portion of the American population, most of whom seem to reside in the mega-cities on both coasts and in university towns like Austin. I was in a restaurant yesterday and close by were a couple of these worthies. They were so enjoying each others company that their conversation went on and on. . . . and on . . . and on. . . I don’t normally pay much attention to what other people are saying to each other at lunch but these two guys were virtually at my elbow and were hard to ignore. They must have talked for a solid hour or more, but what impressed me was that in that whole time neither of them seemed to have a real opinion about anything nor did they exhibit any expertise or even knowledge of how anything, and I mean anything, works. Their combination of ignorance and self-satisfaction was stunning. We’re doomed.

      • They are the Eloi of H.G. Wells’ imagination. Docile, pampered creates who only exists to serve as food for the predators – who are really running the show.

  2. The “modern man” is an effeminate spineless sack of incompetence. This is the sort of pussy who didn’t get his face sufficiently rearranged in high school and needs to have some toughness beat into him before he goes full mangina.

    • This is the modern man whose wife is having an affair with someone who drives a pickup truck, knows how to change a tire, and damn sure knows how to protect her.

    • That guy is a closet case. Not quite as far as Tom Cruise or John Travolta, but about as far as Elton John in the ’70s. He’s here, he’s queer, he just can’t quite get used to it. Instead, he tries to redefine manhood to suit his secret life.

      • I know gay men who are not effeminate in any way and I know straight men who are. It’s just as bad a stereotype as what is put on gun owners. The person who wrote the article is a spineless coward.

        • Same here. When I was cruising the Med as a Marine there was a Sailor who was a regular dude, I never even suspected of being gay until he said something about it.

        • I was based in the Bay Area for 4 years and lived Top of Market for a couple of those, and had one location in The Castro. I’m very aware that there are all sorts of gay guys, and some of them are outwardly fairly masculine. Most people will never know.

          That said, if Rock Hudson didn’t set off your gaydar, you might want to get it tuned up. Anytime a man starts talking about buying his wife shoes, he’s got a fetish, or he’s in the closet. There’s a dozen other little hints in that screed, each rather innocuous. Add them up? He’s not just beta.

          And there is nothing wrong with that. Not my thing, but it’s their life.

    • Modern man has been raised by modern mom only and does not want to be a man . Modern man wants to be effeminate and a spineless sack of incompetence and wants a pussy between their legs instead of a penis and does not want the responsibility of reproduction or a job or to know how to change a tire , use a tool or get a splinter in their hand , they want to play video games and be taken care of by government or modern woman , they want to earn a living by making you tube videos .

  3. #28. Pretend the New York Times is still relevant (and make sure it sits in a prominent spot right next to your half-caff soy latte).

    • LOL, you win the interwebz today. I thought the same thing when I got to a half dressed modern man going down his driveway to collect a “crisp” morning newspaper.

    • Cmon, if it isn’t the NYT, it’s the LAT, WAPOST, CBS, NBS, FOX, CNN, on and on. The message from the media is all the same.

  4. Gender bender confusion!!!! This is why female depression and suicide is up every year, per capita, since the rise of feminism starting shortly after wwii.

    I’d kill myself too if I lived alone in a posh city with my dog and all men acted this way…..

    If I was a female and all I guess lol

  6. 16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

    Of course.

    • I sleep further from the door so I have time to grab my gun, hopefully my wife is a good fighter! 😉

      • I sleep farther from the door, because the gun on my side table can then point out of the house. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.

        • My biggest reason is I always slept on the right side of the bed, our last townhome the door was closest to me, Just in the house we live in now, it’s closer to her. Also the gun on my night stand is farther from the doorway, so no one can make a bee line directly for it if they enter the bedroom. They’d have to go around the bed.

      • I sleep closer to the door so that neither of my girl friends get caught in the crossfire!

    • “He will fight them off, with only his Kenneth Cole oxfords, and a shoehorn”

        • The only Wu Tang I know is a character in a flash game called Dragon Fist (me and my boys got hooked on it for awhile).

      • Any man who brags about his “Kenneth Cole oxfords” needs help. There are two relevant men here:

        The man who doesn’t know what the hell an oxford is. He gets a pass automatically.

        The man who’s power position requires him to understand the value of fine shoes. This man wouldn’t be caught dead wearing kenneth cole anything. If you play with millions on a daily basis and your shoes don’t cost at least 500 dollars a pair, you are selling yourself short.

    • I’m sure he gives great fellatio to placate the “intruder”.

      Make love not war I’m sure he’d say

    • Wrong again. His modern man won’t try to fight off the intruder. He’ll beg the intruder to take what the intruder wants and leave. He’ll be tied up and beaten before being forced to watch the intruder rape his wife. His only chance against the intruder is that his wife is one tough mean cookie and fights the intruder off herself.

      • I suspect his wife already wears the pants in the family. He’s not gonna be tied up and forced to watch; he’ll be the star of the party.

    • Seeing as how the ‘modern man’ has no need for a gun, his wife will be raped and murdered after his feeble attempt at fighting off an armed home invader results in him getting gutted like a catfish.

  7. These same metrosexuals will be cowering and whining for the government to come save them when they are in trouble. In a free country they are free to believe as they wish, but so am I. If you do not want a gun that is fine. However, do not move to disarm others.

    • The word you are looking for is traditional.

      Seriously though, Kenneth Cole? Everybody knows that a real man wears either boots (blue collar) or Allen Edmonds (white collar). Kenneth Cole is for the types that buy for today. Real men buy for the next twenty years.

      • I like retro. They just don’t make men like they used to.

        My boots, like much of my wardrobe say ‘Carhartt’ on them. I do have a nice pair of dress shoes (I have no idea the brand). Every man should have a decent suit for weddings and funerals, although I try to avoid the former.

  10. Comes off like a joke. Melon baller? Good for denucleiation…not much else unless you really like round bits of fruit.

    Cola? I don’t drink any of that garbage. Combined with guns, I guess I’m from 1910. Damn.

  11. The idea the modern man actually even gets a physical newspaper is absurd. With garbage like this no wonder the Internet is putting them out of business.

    I will say that if I was this sort of person, I’d probably cry often too. A shell of a person left behind in the decadence of society.

  12. That list is a Beta Male Pajama Boy wet dream.

    But this one jumps out at me, for the irony:

    16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

    Juxtaposed with:

    25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

    The modern man must have a steady supply of NDAIDs, to deal with the cognitive dissonance-induced headaches.

    • Another contradiction:

      23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

      Really? I can’t picture this guy watching Heat, Last of the Mahicans, or Collateral. What a joke.

    • AoM is great. I’ve tried a lot of things thanks to them. Like shaving with a straight razor. Although now I go full tactical beard so no need for that.

      • Not sure about the art of manliness. MY son wrote an article for them. Despite carrying a gun in the mideast as a soldier,being a spy for DoD and traveling the world as a gubmint agent he won’t have a gun in the house and thinks gun rights should be highly restricted. He also stated he disagrees with me 97% of the time.(That’s real bad). And LOVES Maryland. And his wife does Muy Thai so I guess that’s good enough to protect my 3 grandkids…in no way is he metro sexy but drank the left koolaid.

  14. Great, the effiminate panzies want to define manliness now.

    I’m 30ish years old, and I may or may not be able to hold my own in hand to hand combat with an attacker. But to be honest with you… I don’t want to have to hold my own against a knife attacker who breaks the effiminate panzies laws of manliness by carrying a weapon. Knife fights aren’t interesting to me. I’d like to avoid one and just shoot my attacker.

      • I know it is funny and sounds re dick clue less but from what I have observed recently , last few years here in WV , this actually does describe a lot of the young men I’ve encountered , and it scares the bejusius out of me .
        Not a comforting condition to afflict our culture at this time particularly , or ever .
        I have a little hope that if SHTF , these clueless dudettes will step up and meet their challenges .

  16. Modern man huh?

    Well life is tough, it’s even tougher when you’re stupid…or unskilled and unprepared.

  17. My opinion, A real man or woman doesn’t let current trends define or control who they are or what to care about.

    • Even then, he mis-spelled filet.

      And since when does beef tenderloin have a fat layer? All the fat in a filet mignon is in the marbling (if the tenderloin is separated/trimmed properly).

      • My favorite cut is the porterhouse, so I get to eat the fat layer buy the filet. I honestly feel that every time they cut a filet it ruins a perfectly good porterhouse. ;-D

  20. They still think the 2nd Amendment is some kind of 18th Century anachronism. In a modern, civilized and enlightened society, people have no need for guns. Of course, you’d have to willfully ignore how the 20th Century was the best yet for brutal tyrants and dictators; and that they were only defeated by force of arms.

    Not to mention, the 21st Century is starting out like gangbusters for brutal tyrants and dictators.

    • I live in the S.F. Bay Area. I attended an Appleseed Shoot in Castro Valley about 30 miles east of SF and there were 10 or 12 guys from SF City also attending. I was talking to one of them about living in the City and owning guns and he told me he couldn’t tell any of his friends that he owned guns because he thought he might loose their friendship.

      • You have met the people who helped disarm San Francisco and close the last gun store in the city.

  23. Kinda like this guy:

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and goods and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

    “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

    To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

  24. I couldn’t care less if I meet this simp’s definition of a modern man. He can consider me a cro-magnon man if it makes him feel superior.

    I AM A GOOD MAN. And furthermore, I will die to protect my wife, children, family, and friends if necessary. But dying isn’t in my plan so I’ll be bringing a firearm with me since it either levels the battlefield or gives me an advantage that allows myself and those I care about to walk away alive.

  25. ‘1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.’

    How in the hell is a heterosexual male supposed to know which shoes do or don’t make his wife’s ass look fat? Stay away from women’s fashion, if you get it you’re living a lie.

    • I don’t even try to buy clothes for my wife. Jewelry, gadgets, and GUNS. Hard to go wrong that way.

      • I thought guns were gadgets and jewelry at the same time. Come to think of it; 28 – A modern man buys his wife a Beretta PX4 Storm subcompact and takes her to the range every couple of weeks to teach her how to be proficient with it.

  26. This “article” has nothing to do with “the modern man”. It’s just a self-appreciation piece. Look at number nine, “9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.”
    Apparently you aren’t a modern man if you don’t have a daughter.
    All he’s doing is listing things about himself and in typical liberal fashion asserts everyone must be just like him.

  27. Who is this Kenneth Cole and why should I trust his shoes more than my steel toed Wolverines? For that matter, who is this Brian Lombardi imbecile who writes about things (manliness) he obviously has no experience with?

  29. If the “Modern Man” has all of Micheal Manns movies on Blue Ray, then Im pretty sure he owns a gun or two.

  30. I’m sure this “Modern Man” needs a whole bunch of outdated “Throwback Men” capable of raising the cattle that produce his steak and the leather for his Kenneth Cole oxfords, cutting and milling the lumber for his hardwood floors, and wielding the guns he has no use for. Because he sure as smegma isn’t able to do it himself.

  31. “The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.”
    Except when he does.

    This “modern man” that the NYT author is referring to is an
    Emasculated Man and I predict is an Endangered Species.

  32. Ah yes, the NYT. Stopped reading this fish wrapper many years ago. When I want news I go to a news source, of which there are many. When I want editorialized news I read rags such as NYT or listen to NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC or any network newscast.

    As I told my daughter when she was young, news is a product that is sold for advertising over the air. Someone somewhere (usually NYC and Washington DC) decides what stories will make it on the air, how it will be presented, which slant to use to promote a particular point of view. More importantly, someone also decides what will not be presented nationally. Like the Planned Parenthood story currently being talked about. The networks seem to have very little interest in this story. Just one of many not reported,

    As others have said, ‘At the end of the world their headline would be “World to end tomorrow, women and minorities hardest hit”.

  33. The NYT talking about being a man, rofl

    Apparently, the NYT’s Modern Man doesn’t love himself or his family enough to protect them, is too stupid to understand that preparation is common sense, and is a quivering coward at the sight of a metal tool.

    That’s not the Modern Man. That’s the Leftist Man.

  34. NYT: Modern man has no use for his testicles. He lives in an apartment overlooking Central Park, in a building with armed security.
    If his drain is clogged he just calls a knuckle dragger with testicles to fix it.
    He doesn’t need his testicles because his wife can choose better sperm at a sperm bank.
    He does need his testicles because they will just disappear after a decade or so of apartment dwelling anyway.

  36. And that one about flowers? My wofe would be PO’d if I wasted money on store flowers.
    But a box of Hornady Lite 9mm? That would make her smile.

  37. When a large criminal with a gun is standing over Mr. Lombardi I bet that rule goes out the window pretty quick in his mind.

  38. Reminds me the old Twilight Zone episode, “The Obsolete Man”. The powers that be are winning this long term social conditioning war against liberty, despite the hubris often seen on this forum claiming otherwise. Just yesterday posters here were claiming that collectivism and individual liberties were essentially the same…nothing could be further from the truth.

  39. Consider this collection of opinions in the grander scope of the trans/gay movement, anti-bullying sentiment, anti-gun slant, and all other arms of the war on responsibility. According to this men should be more like women, they should be further removed from where their food comes from or any physical exertion in any way. As the myth goes, progress means the physical capabilities of a man are no longer useful and only brain power is important and culture and fashion are a false sign of intellectual sophistication. The movement is that men don’t have to be men and the war on responsibility wins when men ignore their responsibilities.

    I must note I feel communication skills are important. On a radio program recently I heard something I agree with, that violence enters when there is a lack of communication skills and personal introspection. Part of that violence is acting out personal issues with violence instead of dealing with it, but it’s a man’s responsibility to deal with his issues and not spread them around to everyone around them.

    The truth is, physical capabilities are still useful and attractive to the other sex (if you care about that). Anecdotal note incoming: in a recent talk with a “modern man” ( 26 year old hipster and self-proclaimed wine and cigar aficionado) I found out the “dad bod”, with a flabby front, pale skin, and generally looking shabby was in and “the ladies love it”, as my wife shook her head and walked away. She said later “don’t ever get a ‘dad bod’, I don’t like fat guys (no offense to seasoned ‘dad bod’ members of our community). As much as hipsters and “modern men” say something is popular they’re really just trying to justify their own deficiencies and oddities as normal and good.

    • “Dad bod” is just a new age hipster term for a guy who has kids and is not in the best shape, like 15-20 pounds overweight (which I’d say the majority of men are).That’s all it is.

  40. Having read the entire list I’d say much of it applies to any decent man,modern or otherwise. The part about the gun only applies to the emasculated “modern” male.

  41. “25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
    26. The modern man cries. He cries often.”

    While the Second Amendment is a persuasive reminder of the First Amendment, #26 is a pathetic confessor of #25.

    • Speaking of the Constitution, the modern man has at least one use for a gun: to fulfill his Constitutional and Citizenship responsibility as a part of the militia, of which every able-bodied male between 17 and 45 is a part of according to the US Code (revised last in 1993). Those conducting the war on responsibility would like us to all ignore that in conjunction with the Second Amendment.

      That is, of course, unless the modern man wants to live in a more “modern” country that doesn’t have this responsibility written into the US Code and Constitution.

    • Good question. Since hunting & gathering duties, family security, lawn care and vehicle maintenance responsibilities seem all to have been handed off to various other men, perhaps modern man’s modern woman outsources that job, too?

  45. …another victim tries to inculcate others into his delusion. Those that buy into the idea qill be victims at some point too.

  49. The modern man hasn’t paid a truck note in over three years because the one he has runs just fine, despite the faded paint, high miles, various dents and scratches.
    He also carries. Daily.

    • What is this “truck note” that you speak of?

      I’ve never borrowed money for a vehicle, and never intend too (never bought guns on credit either). I did wimp out and took a mortgage for the house, but it has been paid off for a couple years now. Debt sucks. Cash in your pocket rocks.

  50. I think they are talking about the Eloi in HG Wells story “The Time Machine”.

    I lean more Morloc, (less the cannibalism) soooo…….. not really interested.

  52. At the risk of having MY Man Card pulled, by the end of this article I was already starting this guys theme song. I think Gilbert & Sullivan would agree that Mr. Lobardi is indeed “The very model of a modern metrosexual”.

  55. This sort of deluded view of manhood is what you get from a generation of men raised by woman in a culture that aggressively shames manly traits and activities. Thankfully, while there may a sizable contingent of them, they tend to be geographically concentrated.

    The simple solution is to be a man and raise your boys to be men.

  56. Ha! I saw that headline on the NYT website and didn’t click — figured an article on that topic in the New York Times had to be full of crap, and it looks like I was right.

  57. about the only one i could deal with is # 23. Heat, Miami Vice, & Collateral I could watch a few times.

  60. A modern man doesn’t need some metrosexual (whatever the hell that is) telling him how white his shirts should be….
    (Apologies to the Rolling Stones.)

  63. Maybe we are missing an opportunity here!! Perhaps we should look at the NYT published artical and position and this guys “list of ideas” as a filter to identify an help locate all the losers, male and female, that will need to be avoided when SHTF, in whatever form that may appear in.
    May be helpful to know who, what, and were to avoid! The wussy deniers and nasayers will be a dangerous aspect of the future because they will panic first with no thought of the consequences and when in mass, panicked, with little or no direction, unable to find help THEY will want to vet avoided. Think of THEM as our “interference” while WE, the better prepared an aware, make our escape or bunker up to ride it out. There is always heavy colleratral damage at the beginning of a … extreme event … such as social upheaval or the downfall of culture as we know it. Massive natural disaster falls into this catagory someplace too. I was always under the impression that one should understand and use the tool that are provided.
    Of course, we could just presume this gentleman and his herd are simply of low intellegence and only can see and think what their told to, in capable of an original thought of their own. …….. I could be wrong ….. Hahahahahahahahahahaha, NOT.

  65. I’m a 22 year old software engineer, so about a modern man as can be.

    This list is garbage, the author was probably a lame underwater basket sexuality studies major.

  67. 25. The real man will defend his loved ones with a gun and his life and preferably the bad guy’s life. If he is not considered “modern” by girly men for this, so be it.

  68. So teleological.

    I guess by “Modern Man” he means himself. His “Modern Man” is a ‘effing douchebag. “The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.” But he hasn’t made a decision yet. Thanks for telling us. And he knows which brands of women’s shoes run big and small when he buys his wife’s shoes (I guess she doesn’t care about comfort or fashion). I don’t, and I’m not married. I guess that makes me a caveman. The “Modern Man” will also kick you out of his house for asking for a Mountain Dew. If someone did that to me, I’d feel like introducing the Modern Man to the Modern Technique.

  71. This is an attempt by a metro-sexual trapped behind the “corn curtain” in DeKalb Illinois to become relevant. It must be hard to be a liberal with only the hogs to hear you. I wonder what the bumper stickers say on the back of his Subaru?

  72. isn’t Jenner a modern “man” . Brian L is a fool I think a real man will protect what is his.
    No double standards put the DC politicians on Obamacare and SS.Thanks for your support and vote.Pass the word. mrpresident2016.com

  73. It is a good thing this homosexual man does not have a gun. He does not have the mental state to keep and handle a firearm arm safely. Some men are not suited for having a gun. He is one of them.

    He will rely on rough men who are standing ready to do violence in his defense when he calls them. And yes some of those rough men are gay.

  74. 27 ways to be a modern man…

    Cry a lot? Little spoon???

    Should have been titled “27 ways to be a modern effeminate beta male”

  77. I’d rather this be my list – A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
    -Robert A. Heinlein

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