I ate a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios this morning. Normally, I quaff a glass of Amplified Gold 100% Whey Protein. But not today. Maybe it’s because I quit smoking cigars yesterday – the same day I ferried my second ex-wife to rehab in a two-hour adventure that easily qualifies as the worst car journey of my entire life. Real life. Where I don’t need a bullet-resistant vest. If nothing else, I look nothing like these brick shit house-built operators operating operationally (in slow motion!). Even their target looks cool. According to the “about us” boilerplate under the press release accompanying the video . . .

“RMA uses only the highest quality materials in its armor products to ensure that the men and women who protect this great nation are protected against any potential threat imaginable.” Good news! Non-law enforcement officers can buy the plates (click here for dealers), except where prohibited by law. The Level IV plate runs $700. As for protecting protectors “against any potential threat imaginable” how does RMA body armor protect OFWGs like me against obesity? Just wondering . . .

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26 COMMENTS

  1. ” how does RMA body armor protect OFWGs like me against obesity? Just wondering”

    RF, ya gotta cinch the Velcro up really, really tight…

    • And then run ten miles a day while wearing all that gear. You won’t get obese. You may have a coronary, but you won’t get obese.

  2. Body armor is the fat guy corsets of the 21st century. Who needs chiseled features when you have guns.

      • that would be the greeks. They used hardend (boiled) leather armor and it could be shaped or imprinted however you like. The standard roman armor kit was usually chainmail, or the layered metal sheafs that are so pretty when polished up for parades.

        • Fortunately, today, the tacticaler you look, the more effective you are. Mr. Farago, a round of applause I watched the video, and read the article at the same time with no sound. It was like a hilarious narration.

  3. That video is hilarious. I can’t take some of these companies seriously…just like the AR maker that has some dude with skull facepaint on in their magazine ads.

    • Seriously. This operator marketing schtick so prevalent of late needs to die. Who are they trying to sell to? Anyone juvenile enough to think it’s cool isn’t earning an income to spend except maybe Michael Bay.
      I hated the Zombie marketing nonsense but crap like this is more than just stupid. It’s damaging to the whole of gun owners.
      When the MDA loons pull up Zombie marketing as an example of unhinged gun owners it can be laughed off. When they bring up ads like this or like the one with the rando guy walking through a bombed out building ala Mad Max it reinforces the tooled-up Paul Blart stereotype.

      And if any actual LE/MIL types actually think this shit is cool it may be time to look for work elsewhere because I predict a snap occurring within the next 5 years of your career if it hasn’t happened already.

  5. So how does it do against M855A1? Oh and it protects OFWG’s from obesity when they take up hiking while wearing it.

      • Ha! I see what you did there.

        But seriously, I too am curious about the blunt force trauma protection. A hammer doesn’t have to penetrate your t-shirt to push a busted piece of rib through your heart.

  7. Wow that stuff is thick, so does it float or something?

    Armor can help you loose weight, just throw a couple of steel plates in a carrier, load up some 30 round mags, pick up your heaviest AR, and take the dog for a long walk. If ya are gonna do that though, ya might want to do it late at night cause in the Summer you might die of heat exhaustion and the neighbors are less likely to call the law.

  10. Wait, you drove the second ex-wife around? What’s all this I hear from RF about situational awareness and avoiding bad situations… and ending up in a car with an ex-wife!
    Not to tell you how to spend your money RF, but it sounds like hiring a chauffeur/livery vehicle for this one instance is within your means, and probably much healthier for you.

    Or is RF losing his fear of crazy? RF, don’t go back! Stay strong!

  11. Yeah, i can squeeze into a pair of 34’s too, if i button em up around my knees.. All these guys are 20 or 30 yrs younger than most of us…

  12. I don’t get this ? It is an ad for RMA body armor and it does not reveal any specs or information about the product. How about some independent tests and comparisons against other brands by someone that is not employed by RMA ? BTW the slow motion crap is aggravating and got pretty old after the first time. It looks stupid. Not sure why this is on here at all unless they paid for an ad ?

  13. I don’t understand the part about RF not needing a bullet resistant vest. Did I read it wrong?

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