http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1zXLy723qE

‘FPS’ doesn’t just stand for ‘feet per second’ any more. In the video game age, it also means ‘first-person shooter,’ the genre of generally ultraviolent, bullet-riddled military or sci-fi action games pioneered by Castle Wolfenstein 3D and now exemplified by the Halo and Call of Duty franchises. You have heard of Halo and Call of Duty, right?

These games are immensely popular. Despite their generally useless time-wasting character, they’ve introduced literally tens of millions of teenage boys (let’s be realistic here) to the joys of busting a whole lot of caps. Just as ‘Guitar Hero’ has drawn many gaming geeks into the world of guitar-slinging garage musicians, I think that the FPS shooter craze has probably helped fuel the recent increases in gun sales and CCW applications. And irresponsible YouTube shenanigans. Or not.

Either way, video game designers and critics both acknowledge the importance of so-called ‘gun porn’ in the design and marketing of FPS games. Design crews spend months building accurate 3d models of dozens of guns, wrapping them in just the perfect colors and textures, and capturing the sounds and physical dynamics of firing and reloading them. (And then they throw most of that physics stuff right out the window in favor of game balance and fun factor, but that’s another story.)

In the end, no matter how many thousands of virtual foes one has dispatched to their digital Valhalla, there’s a big difference between video-game fantasy and reality. Just like wet-behind-the-ears Lietutenant Gorman’s thirty-eight simulated combat drops in “Aliens”, playing make-believe doesn’t mean shit when it’s time to do the real thing. And by the ‘real thing’ here, I mean real shooting and not real combat.

‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’ is currently the hottest FPS game on the market, and it’s got so much XXX gun porn that the pages of the game manual are stuck together. Players can air out their opponents with make-believe versions of thirty-five real-life guns, from a pheasant-worthy Citori or Orion over-under shotgun to the ‘WTF is THAT?’ WA2000 sniper rifle. Here’s a list of pistols, rifles, shotties, subguns and heavy iron. How many of these objects of FPS commando lust (or their civilian-legal variants) have you owned or shot?

Rifles:

M16
Enfield SA-80
M14
FAMAS
Galil
Steyr AUG
FN-FAL
AK-47
M4
H&K G-11

Submachineguns:

H&K MP5K
Skorpion
MAC-11
AK-74U (Draco)
Uzi
PM-63
MPL
Spectre
Kiparis

Shotguns:

‘Olympia’ (Generic over-under)
‘Stakeout’ (Remington 870 w/pistol grip, no buttstock)
SPAS-12
HS10

LMGs:

HK21
RPK
M60
Stoner 63

Sniper Rifles:

Dragunov (includes PSL)
WA2000
Accuracy Intl. L96A1

Handguns:

Devel ASP (S&W Model 39)
1911
Makarov
Colt Python
CZ-75

Sadly there is no actual prize up for grabs, but contestants will get bonus points for having fired a full-auto, suppressed or short-barreled ‘real thing.’ Otherwise, we’ll assume that you have complied with all local, state and federal laws, which is why I’m skipping the missile and grenade launchers.

For the record, my tally is 14, and my most exotic shoot was a semi-automatic 9mm Spectre machine pistol. FPS fanboys shouldn’t think too ill of me; my ‘Modern Warfare 2’ score was much higher, but times have changed and MW2 is so 2009…

16 COMMENTS

  1. You missed the PSG1 in the snipers category.

    Let’s see. I have fired:
    M16
    M14
    Galil <– single fire version
    FN-FAL
    AK 47 <– single fire version
    MP5
    an over-under shotty
    "stakout" – well a remington 870 with pistol grip
    SPAS 12
    Dragunov and a PSL (was glad to see someone finally got the right sights on the gun, now if only range mattered in the game)
    Held a real PSG1 and looked down scope, but owner would not shoot it, fired a fake PSG1.
    1911
    Makarov (my primary CC gun actually)

    So whats that, 12 and a half?

    The MP5 , M16, and M14 where at an FBI range, had an uncle in the FBI who got me a special tour when I was thinking of going that way. I didn't end up going that way. Also fired a tommy gun full auto that day and a few other guns. Also the MP5 was the SD or silenced version, so not sure if it counts at all or if I get bonus points.

    • “was glad to see someone finally got the right sights on the gun, now if only range mattered in the game” – haha, good point!

  2. “Dragunov (includes PSL)”… For the record – that’s like saying “M16 (includes AK)”. The SVD and PSL are two very different animals! PSL is basically an AKM with a fancy stock and knock-off scope (albeit a well made knock off). The Dragunov is one fine piece of gun a$$! Both guns do look a lot alike and both shoot the same 7.62mm x 54R (rimmed, not Russian) ammo, and I will even admit that shooting a PSL is quite fun – even if the scope is worn out!

    The SVD is milled and machined from solid stock, has a chrome lined barrel, and comes with a PSO-1 battery powered scope. The PSL on the other hand is stamped steel, with a standard steel barrel, and a used a tritium powered scope. Since PSL’s and the LPS scope that they came with are often old, shooting a PSL in anything but bright light is damn near impossible because the thin-reticle tends to disappear as ambient lighting fades.

    PSL’s can be found easily as they were imported by a few companies (I think Century Arms was the largest importer). You can still find them for $500-700, depending on condition. Having shot a nicely used one with modern 150-gr ammo, I can say that as cheap as they’re made, they are still quite accurate. They tend to fling rounds as they get hot (but what rifle doesn’t?). I think there are still some companies that make new scope mounts for them, allowing modern-reticled scopes to be mounted. On a cold barrel, you could easily keep 5 rounds within an 1″ @ 100-yards, opening up to 3-4″ as the barrel gets hot (very hot!). Cold barrels can easily keep shots on 6″ targets out to 400+ yards.

    And yes – my COD-BO sniper gun of choice is the SVD with suppressor. I typically sport a Famas with launcher though… 🙂

    • I almost forgot my list…
      Rifles:
      M16 <– semi auto only
      M14
      FN-FAL
      AK-47 <– AKM semi-only
      M4 <– semi auto only

      Submachineguns:
      H&K MP5K <– not the "K"
      SP89 <– MP5K that is semi-auto only

      Shotguns:
      O/U and SxS
      ‘Stakeout’ (Remington 870 w/pistol grip, no buttstock)

      LMGs: I wish!

      Sniper Rifles:
      PSL
      Accuracy Intl <– have shot a few AI guns, although not the L96A1

      Handguns:
      1911
      Makarov <– knock off, but close enough!
      Colt Python
      CZ-75

    • I own 2 SVDs, a Tiger (SVD converted to hunting and made import legal), and a PSL. One of my SVDs is all but junk sadly due to it being a war trophy that was seriously neglected by many of it’s previous owners. The chrome helps, but when they shoot the corrosive military machine gun rounds through it without cleaning it bad stuff happens.

      The PSL is actually pretty close to the SVD and Tiger in accuracy (the round goes pretty much exactly where you want it to go).

      Also, just a note of correction, my PSL is also chrome lined, I believe all PSLs are chrome lined, in fact I think most Russian guns in general are chrome lined. PSL is Romanian not russian, but I still think they are all chrome lined, unless I got lucky somehow.

      And just so you know, the SVDs scope will mount the PSL and vise versa, it is the only part that is interchangable, the magazines are not even interchangable (and I think it will mount a real russian AK with the side mount system as well, but have never tried). And you can buy plenty of after market scopes to fit both the SVD and PSL including if you have the money scopes that are designed for low light use. You can also, as you noted, buy replacement dust covers for the PSL with the various standard rail systems for mounting other things like a real red dot, acog, or standard scope; however the same is not true for the SVD.

      Whenever I am at a range and they wont give me the far right lane, I always fire the PSL first, and the far right lane is quickly opened for me. That thing throws the spent casings like no other gun I have ever fired. I have found casings 40 – 50 ft away. The casings are big too, and other shooters typically don’t like having them whiz by and/or bounce off their scopes or guns. I have once or twice traded guns with the person to my left and experienced this first hand, not fun.

      EDIT: Just a point of correction, in thinking about it, I don’t own an AK with the side rail system otherwise I would check, but I have seen them. I think the AK has a slightly shorter rail, so things meant for the AK will mount the SVD and PSL but not the other way around.

      • My buddy said the Romanian made PSL’s are chrome lined, but the Chinese and other variants are not – including most of the “kit guns” that were made and/or assembled here in the states.

        As I said, the PSL is a good shooter – actually an excellent shooter. Having not shot a true SVD, I will take your word on it. However, feel free to send my FFL one of yours for a few weeks to test out 🙂 I promise to only run the match grade stuff and to give it a through scrub when finished!

        The PSL also have a cool spring-loaded butt plate – but the springs are so stiff that I’m not sure it is that effective.

  3. The Stakeout is actually an Ithica 37, from what I understand. I actually learned to shoot trap on an 870, if you want to leave it on the list. The Mosin-Nagant shows up on one of the levels (and figures heavily in a prior installment of the franchise), and I enjoy shooting those. I’ve also fired a Python, and an AR-15 if you’ll consider it an acceptable substitute for the M-16.

    In game, my favorite weapon is the HK21. Keep the engagements at medium to long range and there are few guns that can compete.

    • I’m more of an upclose and personal guy… claymores, semtex, and flash bangs are my “accessories of choice”… while I’m at it, those who wish can add me as a friend: carrube_rulz is my tag.

  4. FPS means ‘frames per second’ and you need at least 60 to play COD online and be any good.

  5. “…it’s got so much XXX gun porn that the pages of the game manual are stuck together.”

    Too bad most game manuals that are included with games today, like the Black Ops manual, absolutely suck… not unlike some firearms manuals out there.

  6. Well I don’t come close to many of you.
    Rifle –
    M16 (full auto while in the Army)
    M14 (When I was 13 years old. My dad was an ROTC instructor for a couple of years in the early 70’s after having served a tour in Viet Nam as a 1SG of a infantry company. He allowed me and my older brother to participate in summer training maneuvers. We were in hog heaven, we flew in on Hueys, humped rucks and M14’s like the big boys. Got to shoot them. It was awesome. I’m not sure he could get away with that now a days)
    AK-47 (full auto while in the Army as part of Light Fighter training in Ft. Ord)

    Pistol
    1911

  7. I still play Modern Warfare 2 because Black Ops looks funny.
    I think it’s the animations, or something.

  8. Let’s see
    M16 – real thing.
    M14 – civilian newt
    Galil – civilian newt
    Steyr AUG – civilian newt
    FN-FAL – civilian newt
    AK-47 – do I get bonus points for real thing AND civilian newt?
    M4 – civilian newt

    MAC-11 – real thing
    Uzi – civilian newt

    ‘Olympia’ (Generic over-under) – generic real thing
    ‘Stakeout’ (Remington 870 w/pistol grip, no buttstock) – real thing
    SPAS-12 – real thing

    M60 – technically not an LMG, it’s a GPMG, real thing

    Devel ASP (S&W Model 39) – modern clone of same, not actual Devel model
    1911 – duh.
    Makarov – real thing
    Colt Python – real thing
    CZ-75 – more variations of the real thing than I can count.

    So that’s 18.

  9. Just the 1911 here.
    Oh I so wish I could even touch a WA2000. Then again, at nearly $80,000 for one and only 176 existing, I doubt I ever will

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