Dear Diary: 30 Days to Conceal Carry, Home Stretch edition.

So I’m driving around yesterday, all situationally aware and all that, and I get a call from my offspring on her new iPhone. (Santa been belly belly good to her this year, mon.) She tells me that she and her mom are in their car, driving near a Chase Bank branch less than a mile from their (my former) house. And they can’t help but notice the place is surrounded by police. Armed police. And S.W.A.T. guys. In full battle regalia, armed with either AR-15s (at least) or M-16s (I presume police get to go full-auto, right?). My ex wisely decided that the best way to avoid trouble is to not be there when it happens, so she pulls a u-ey and moseys on outta there, taking a different route to home base. This got me to thinking, though, and what I thought does not make for a pretty picture.

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Discover THIS: The lone gunman was an Eco-Nut.

God, how I love irony. (It’s like goldie or bronzie, but more afforable.) Today, when word went out across the InterWebs that someone had taken hostages at the formerly-credible tree-hugging network known as The Discovery Channel, I shuddered. Not because of the potential loss of innocent lives. That’s ALWAYS scary. No, I figured it would end up being some nut that was protesting how every other word on Discovery seems to be “green” and how they’ve become Al Gore’s bee-yatch on Ecological Ponzi Schemes (a.k.a. CLimate Change). But noooooooooo! It wasn’t a pistol-packin,’ Palin-lovin,’ animal-eatin’ cowboy shootin’ up the joint. Nope It was some moron who thought The Discovery Channel is too Conservative, and too soft on ecological issues.

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