Glock 30SF and Dan Baum's Gun Guys (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

For reasons that I can’t quite explain, author Dan Baum and I have become fast friends. Actually, I can explain it: professional courtesy. Dan’s one of the best writers of our time. His work is insightful, artful, literate and funny. I’ll save suitable examples of his creative genius for my forthcoming review of his latest tome. Suffice it to say, Gun Guys is a must-read—even though Dan’s attempt to walk the [non-existent] middle ground on gun rights gives aid and comfort to our enemies. Again, more on that later. For now I’ve got a pristine hardback copy worth $16.95 (msrp) for the member of our Armed Intelligentsia who can come up with a pro-Second Amendment slogan aimed at non-gun owners. Hey, if Dan can court the fence straddlers, so can we. As a man who claims to understand both gun guys, non-gun guys and gun-grabbing libtards (paraphrasing), Dan himself will choose the winner tomorrow. May the best agitprop propagator win!

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203 COMMENTS

    • Criminal extinguishers. Every home should have one.

      Criminal extinguishers. Don’t leave home without one.

  4. “The Second Amendment: Protecting even cupcakes/pussies like me”

    “The Second Amendment: Just because I’m scared of guns doesn’t mean I don’t want you to have one”

    “The Second Amendment: I don’t think we need it, but I don’t want to live without it”

    “The Second Amendment: Because it’s not unpatriotic to be armed against an overreaching government”

  5. Here’s a slogan for ya:

    “The 2nd Amendment’s just for muskets? Kinda like the 1st is just for paper. Think again.”

    • Or a different tagline:

      “The 2nd Amendment’s just for muskets? Kinda like the 1st is just for paper. Get Involved.”

    • “The 2nd Amendment’s just for muskets? Kinda like the 1st is just for paper parchment. Think again.”
      There fixed if for you.

  8. “Need to make a bad person stop what they’re doing NOW? Just point and click.”

  10. I was met with Dan while he and his wife were driving through the Midwest and spoke to him over dinner. I responded to a posting of his on ar15.com about gun caching. I haven’t read the book yet (its on order), but I found Dan to be a very sharp and open minded guy. His love of guns is deep and he personally identifies with all the reasons I love guns so much. He, his wife and I spoke on dozens of subjects over dinner and on the issues of firearms, I found very little difference between us.

  11. Paraphrasing Winston Churchill: “A person very rarely needs a firearm. But when they do, they need it very, very urgently.”

    • This made think of the Dos Equis Guy, to wit: I don’t usually defend myself, but when I do, it is with a firearm.

      • A while back I saw this one used as a SIG on a shooting board:

        “I don’t always go to the range, but when I do I prefer dos AKs.”

  12. “I’ll let you smoke dope, outlaw all religions, kill all the unborn babies and take 100% of everyone’s pay, if I can have my guns. Please?”

    • Well……..I’ll let them smoke dope, anyway. I’m gonna USE my guns to make sure they dont do those others, however (as there would not be much left for the ol’ 2A to protect).

      • Hope you got the snarkiness of my comment. I detest what liberal turds like this Dan Baum stand for. To even think that someone who supports authoritarian state-ism as a solution for every other issue in life BUT would be a solid individual rights constitutionalist 2A supporter makes me laugh. Gotta realize when your getting played. And this guy (and others like him) be playing us.

  15. Guns are no more an invitation to violence than a lock is an invitation to a burglary.

  19. “Armed Piece of Mind”

    “I’ll Take Mine in 9mm, Please”

    “380ACP, When a Shield Just Won’t Do”

  20. The Second Amendment: Because absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the people are there to stop it from happening.

  24. “Just because I don’t have a gun now doesn’t mean I’ll never want one…
    And I vote.”

  27. Man up and be responsible for your own safety…

    Guns, better than an I-Phone…

    You are first on the scene, the police arrive second…

    Be a pioneer in your own self defense…

    A firearm is a dog that never has to bark or bite, but stands ready to save your life and that of your family…

  28. A child’s best defense against monsters is believing they don’t exist. Is that your best defense? The second amendment lets you protect you and your family from the world’s real monsters.

    • Ooh you I like that. Here is a streamlined version of that:

      ************* 2nd Amendment ****************
      Real protection for the real monsters in the real world.

    • Yes, that first sentence is golden. A really smokin’ second sentence however is much tougher…

  29. The Second Amendment is a choice for the individual, not to be decided by anyone else.

    Knowledge is power, like the knowledge that I may be armed.

    The great thing about The Constitution is I have guaranteed rights I can choose to exercise or not.

    The most powerful guarantee of liberty is written in ink and entitled the Right to Keep and Bear Arms.

    I may exercise the First to defend the Second, and I may exercise the Second to defend the First. (OK that’s a bit more gun owner pro 2A but I had to write it down)

    • I really like your last statement:

      To paraphase it (make bumper sticker friendly):

      “I exercise the First to protect the Second because I may need the Second to protect the First.”

      RF, give Dan the book (and a taco, cuz I think he likes those…)

  30. The power to defend your body.
    The ability to defend our country.
    The freedom to choose how.
    The Second Amendment.

  31. “The Second Amendment debate should not be about the need for “assualt rifles” and “high-capacity magazines,” just as the First Amendment does not debate the need for Islam or Hinduism. No one needs to have some many choices of religions or guns; but as American citizens, it is their right to!”

  32. The Second Amendment – Allowing your neighbors to protect you, even if you’re unwilling to…

  33. Other possibilities:

    The Second Amendment. You don’t have to like it. You just have to honor it.

    or

    What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?

    or the bumper sticker version:

    History shows when guns are outlawed, only despotic, genocidal megalomaniacs have guns.

  34. The Bill of Rights protects the people,
    Second Amendment keeps it real.

    or
    Second link in our Amendments Chain,
    Bill of Rights lets the people reign!

    or
    Civil Rights start with defense of self,
    Sec’nd ‘mendment keeps Bill of Rights in health.

  35. “It’s about the Right to bear arms.”
    Or
    “A right is most important when it is threatened”

    You don’t have to own a gun to appreciate the need for for the second amendment and the guy without a gun making the arguments is probably worth more than the silent guy with a collection.

  36. “There is no “pro-gun” or “anti-gun”. A person labeled as “pro-gun” is a person that believes that regardless of age, gender, race, or physical health status, an individual should retain the means to defend their lives and the lives of their loved ones with force, up to and including deadly force, without having to rely on outside assistance in the gravest of extremes. A person labeled as “anti-gun” is not anti-gun. They are anti-civilian-ownership-of-guns. This means that they want to give the government and it’s cronies, as well as the well-connected, a monopoly on legal force and violence. These same people are often VERY outspoken against any sort of monopoly, and are also often against military conflict involving our government and armed forces. So, why on Earth would they want to monopolize force in the hands of the entity that they so often rally against? Is this simply a conflict of interest, or a misunderstanding of the role that firearms and deadly force play in our civilized society?”

  38. Taking a page from abortion and gay marriage:

    If you don’t like gun ownership, don’t own a gun.

  39. 1. Self defense should be a ‘pro-choice’ issue
    2. Owning guns – it IS for the children (mine)
    3. 125 – the number in millions that have been killed by their own governments in the 20th and 21st century because they were unable to defend themselves

  41. The 2nd Amendment – Second to None
    Better to Have a Gun and Not Need It than Need One and Not Have It
    Gun People – Looking Out For You

  42. It’s commendable you would rather die than use violence in self-defense.

    Now please step aside. You’re standing in front of my target.

  44. The Second Amendment: the last resort to preserve consensual government.

    Do you like the Patriot Act? Maybe crises should be wasted.

    A world without guns is a world where the strongest men get to do whatever they want. Civilization as we know it is impossible without guns.

    Criminals don’t submit to background checks.

  49. Speak softly and carry a big caliber.

    Guns, a tool to not become a victim.

    Guns, better to have and not need than to need but not have.

  51. The 2A: Born in the land of the free because of the brave.

    Guns: Working hard where tact and diplomacy won’t.

  52. Private ownership of firearms by the citizenry, is the difference between freedom and slavery.

  54. It’s not original to me, but I like:

    You don’t need a gun any more than Rosa Parks needed to sit in the front of the bus.
    —

    I think gun owners are the new civilian rights movement.

  56. Get a gun. If you do, you’ll certainly be glad you did. If you don’t, you might wish you had.

  58. Gun rights are civil rights – my long standing favorite but not my own

    Mine:
    If any one right can be ignored, any other right can be ignored

  60. World’s most interesting man: “I don’t always carry concealed, but when I don’t, I carry open.”

  62. You can vomit and defecate all you want but neither will stop a bad guy like a gun. Try one on for size.

  64. Pro choice. Pro gay rights, Pro freedom of expression, Pro 2A. Aren’t all of our rights worth protecting?

  71. “The Second ensures the First”

    “2A protects 1A”

    “We have a First and a Second, so that we do not become a Third (world)”

  72. …………….. 2nd Amendment ………………..
    Everyone’s right to keep and bear arms
    …… No one needs it … until they do …….

  73. There is no reason why anybody should have a Kentucky Rifle. If a musket is good enough for the Redcoats, it should be good enough for the the Common Man.

  75. A gun grabber does not the boot on his neck as long as he is convinced the other boot is on your neck.

  76. Oops. Left out a word.

    The gun grabber does not mind the boot on his neck as long as he is convinced the other boot is on your neck.

  77. You’re at home with your wife and daughters…
    A few drunk thugs decide to break into your house for a little fun…
    What do you do??

    • More serious entries:

      -Police respond to crimes. Guns prevent them.

      -Gun ownership is about freedom.

      -Power belongs with the people, not the government.

  84. Life is too precious to allow it to be taken by evil. Don’t let anyone take yours.

    Today we need a nation of minutemen. American citizens have defended liberty since 1776.

  85. Pro 2A: Because I trust my family, friends, and neighbors more than my government.

    Pro 2A: Because I trust my family, friends, and neighbors to do right, even when my government doesn’t.

    Pro 2A: Because I trust my family, friends, and neighbors to do right when the criminals don’t.

    Pro 2A: Because I trust my family, friends, and neighbors to do right when my government does wrong.

    WE THE PEOPLE

  92. The 2nd Amendment is the only thing protecting every other amendment – without armed citizens, the rest can be easily taken away.

  96. Equally Armed > Equally Vulnerable

    Read as: Equally Armed is greater than Equally Vulnerable

  97. How about: “I believe in the 2nd Amendment, but I choose not to exercise my right.”

  98. The more power You have, the more control you have over your own life; the more power They have, the more control they have over your life. Gun=Power

  101. I am a fan of the whole Bill of Rights, because when you allow the government to infringe one, you give them license to trample them all.

  112. You don’t have to be a journalist to support the right to free speech,
    You don’t have to be a minister to support freedom of religion,
    You don’t have to be a Defense attorney to support the right to a fair trial…
    and you don’t have to be a gun owner to support the Second Amendment…

    Even if you don’t believe in guns, believe in a government that protect the rights of those that do….

  114. Personal safety. There’s no app for that. Learn gun safety!

    or

    An armed society is a polite society.

  115. ‘Tis far better to have and not need than to need and not have.

    Or more poetically:

    If you will not when you may, you shall not when you will.

  117. iThink, therefore iCarry…support the 2nd Ammendment! (might get me sued by apple though…lol)

    Revolutionary…the 2nd Ammendment.

    Defending your freedoms requires the freedom to defend yourself.

    My right, my choice…the 2nd Ammendment.

  120. Well my gun is my wand, therefore I must be a wizard. Since they dont have guns/wands, I believe that makes them muggles.

  122. 2nd Amendment:
    So our daughters don’t have to beg the rapist to wear a condom.

  123. Criminal governments are far more dangerous than ordinary criminals, yet they fear armed citizens.

    • Y’know, that whole Constitution, U.S.A, American Revolution thing was progressive. So was ending slavery, f’rinstance, or ending the “civil death” that was written into marriage law. Or permitting women to vote. Perish the thought! They’re mentally inferior apple pickers, after all.

      The “conservatives” liked, as ever, the status quo and I’m sure that you, as a non-progressive, would very much like to sweep away all that liberal tommy rot and go back to the good ol’ Collonial days.

      Or you and your moronic ilk could stop the ass-hattery and political jingoism in this space. This space is about firearms, and about keeping ’em.

      Progressives see a problem and try to fix it. Trying to undo the Constitution is regressive, just like the Patriot Act and “free speech zones.”

      • Cheers. Abe Lincoln was a Republican before there were Republicans–and he stood for a strong central government, abolition, and equal rights.

      • In a historical sense, you’re right — the very existence of the US is due to progressive ideas.

        Unfortunately, today’s “progressives” aren’t your Ben Franklin/Abe Lincoln types. They’re closet totalitarians who think guns are a problem and believe they’re justified in forcibly removing our right to own them.

        • Many of em, yes. However, some instead try to get the government to research an oil-free future, rather than subsidizing Exxon.

          The best political bumper sticker I ever saw was in ’08; it read “I miss Ike. Hell, I even miss Harry.”

          There’s a Republican who’s hand I’d very much like to shake.

  129. The 2nd Amendment: protecting your right to live free!! Given to you by the Brave Men and Women who have fought and still fight for your rights daily!!

  130. Guns: because when your rape whistle fails, it’s nice to have a backup.

    The 2nd Amendment: adding teeth to the Bill of Rights since 1789.

    alternate:
    The 2nd Amendment is the enforcement arm of the Bill of Rights.

    The 1st Amendment guarantees your right to talk. The 2nd ensures
    that your allowed to be heard.

    We need guns because no one else can be Chuck Norris.

  131. 2nd Amendment
    The right to bare arms to protect you and your family.
    Or……
    Put your life in the hands of someone who wants to go home to theirs.
    you choose your way I’ll choose mine!
    Don’t screw it up!!!

  132. …………. 2nd Amendment ……………..
    Because governments executed over
    100 million people in the 20th century

  133. These are not mine, so I can’t accept the free book:

    “There is nothing quite like a gun for convincing a young man with a crowbar that differences may be resolved without escalating the violence.”

    “In a perfect world, you wouldn’t need guns. This is not a perfect world.” — Sheriff Ben Johnson, Volusia County, Florida

    “When it comes to infringing on Americans’ Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms, losing the arguments means never having to say you’re wrong.” – Robert Farago (president of The Truth About Guns.com)

    “Gun control… It’s not a new idea… Just a bad one!”

    “Criminals love gun control – it makes their jobs easier and safer.”

  136. Between you & the bad guy lies obsession . . . . with the 2nd Amendment.

    Have you met 2A today?

    Early to bed, early to accurize,
    Keeps one healthy, safe and 2nd amendment wise.

    Chuck Norris told me to support the 2nd Amendment.

    Nothing outlasts the 2nd Amendment. It keeps going and going and going.

    Like a good neighbor, the 2nd Amendment is there.

    The 2nd Amendment: legal in all 57 states.

    Spread the wealth – share your 2nd Amendment with a friend!

    The 2nd Amendment: don’t leave home without it.

  137. The 2nd amendment is 2nd for a reason.
    You can’t have two 1st amendment’s.

    The 2nd amendment: Because we talking monkeys just can’t be trusted.

  138. Stick and stones may break my bones, but my inalienable rights can never be taken from me

    Sticks and stones may break my bones, but this 9 will surely drop thee

  140. Does Dan have to pick a winner.

    Because I hate to say it, but most of these miss the point: a slogan for non-gun owners.

    Which may be our problem: we utterly fail at communicating our point to those who aren’t “into” guns like we are. We mistake “preaching to the choir” for persuasion.

    Not that I’ve done any better, and I’ve been trying for years…

    The “If you’re against guns, don’t get one” [ Rokurota @ March 4, 2013 at 14:49 ] and the “pro-choice” [ Ken @ March 4, 2013 at 14:50 ] angles were mentioned earlier, and those would be my picks. But I found those ideas haven’t worked. Back in 1999 or 2000, I tried to convince the Colorado State Shooting Association to adopt a “pro-choice” re gunowners ad campaign, but I they didn’t get it.

    And when I was at the Colorado state capitol this morning, I was handing out cards that said

    CORPORATIONS
    PREFER UNARMED WORKERS
    They used to settle labor disputes differently
    back in the “good old days”

    and pro-gun people thought I was being anti-gun, simply because I’m not a corporatist. * Go figure. Until the gun-issue is separated from the rest of the right-wing BS **, I think we’re going to be in trouble for a long time.

    * I define “corporatist” as somebody who believes that corporations would behave as benevolent engines of innovation and job creation “if only the government would get out of the way”, celebrates sociopathy as a virtue (i.e., lack of morality is a good thing), and/or fails to see that “corporate personhood” is as much of a distortion of and threat to the market as government is.

    ** Not that I’m a fan of left-wing BS either.

    • I lean away from “pro-choice” simply because

      – it is an extremely weak constitutional argument
      – it is extremely inflammatory to about half the population (and not directly down anti/pro gun rights lines)

      Which is why I stuck with:

      If any one right can be ignored, any other right can be ignored

      Right / Left / indifferent – they all have huge growing segments that see the erosion of rights (both ones they care about and ones they don’t) and there is growing appeal to defending rights period, and not just the one they hold near and dear.

  142. I have the choice to protect myself.

    (Plays on pro choice language. At same time, doesn’t say how you would make that choice. )

  144. I may not own any guns, but I fully support my neighbors’ 2nd Amendment right to defend me with theirs.

  146. fire·arm – noun – ˈfī(-ə)r-ˌärm
    The surest means by which to satisfactorily resolve a really bad situation.

    Or:

    Who really deserves to have a rotten day? You and yours, or the bad guys…?

  147. The 2nd aammendment: because if you want defense done right, you have to do it yourself.

  150. 1. Bi(athlon) Curious

    2. This is a gun-free house (but my neighbors got an arsenal AND my back).

  151. GUNS……grow a pair and everything becomes clear.
    GUNS……because Zyklon-B smells awful.
    GUNS……the original man purse.

  152. The Second Amendment can be the difference between a safe family or a safe criminal.

    If your family doesn’t have minutes to spare waiting for the police to arrive then support the Second Amendment.

    If your family needs protection don’t rely on 911, rely on 223 instead.

    If the safety of your loved ones is more important to you than the safety of a criminal support the Second Amendment.

    The founding fathers discovered a way for us to keep our god given rights, the Second Amendment.

    Even if you choose not to exercise your Second Amendment right, you should still have the option to.

    Would you rather have a firearm and not need it, or would you rather leave your loved ones unprotected because you cant have one. Support your Second Amendment.

    The Second Amendment isn’t just for those who exercise it.

  153. To paraphrase Ben, Sacrificing our rights for security can but result in Tyranny.

    A government of the People, by the People, and for the People cannot exist without the freedoms from tyranny enshrined in the Bill of Rights.Cherish those rights, one and all.

    Without our freedoms, we would be British subjects.

    Without our freedoms, we are slaves. We must always endeavor to fight government restrictions on freedom, fight the insatiable appetite of government for ever more power and control, or slavery is our destiny. Defend your Constitutional rights. All of them. Choose freedom.

  155. “Grow up and get a clue.”

    Hm, maybe I’m not the best for this. Lots of good options here.

  157. Don’t worry – I’ll defend you too.

    No hard feelings – I have enough ammo to defend us both.

  159. Having read through the entries I am both impressed by the passion and inventiveness of most of the entries but somewhat unsettled by the vitriol of some others – completely understandable considering the ill-treatment heaped on us by the grabbers – but counter productive none the less. Same goes for some of the comments on the “concerned neighbor” story.

    While it’s perfectly fine to demand our rights and unabashedly trumpet the joys and positive aspects of firearms, we should be careful not to play into their hands by reacting to provocations by the grabbers as per Alinsky’s rule # 10.

    The main point I’m trying to make is that while it’s fine to heap abuse and ridicule on the dedicated, social engineering grabbers, we must be careful not to cause collateral damage among the vast majority of our fellow citizens who could care less about what we think, do or carry and are simply terrified of having their kids, wives or themselves being slaughtered “en masse”. The grabbers have figured out how to play on these fears and are going for broke – with a depressing amount of success. Do not help them on their way.
    You know the 4 rules of firearms safety, here’s the 3 rules of firearms advocacy.

    1/ We are friendly, neighborly people who are responsible citizens and more than willing to come to your aid. Our guns aren’t a danger to you but a protection. Don’t fear us, join us.
    2/ We are part of a long tradition of firearms ownership dating back to the roots of America including pioneers like Daniel Boone, the citizens of the Colonial Militias, the Revolutionary Patriots, the Lawmen of the Old West and right up to the Armed Citizens of today, stopping or preventing innumerable robberies, rapes and other outrages all too common in the modern world.
    3/ Whatever the horrors of some recent events, they don’t even come close to the deprecations of various oppressive governments of all political ilks – numbering in the hundreds of millions. While not near to anything of this kind yet, we must not fool ourselves into thinking “It can’t happen here” and must always be on guard. An armed population among other rights, insures that this will not happen and protects not only one side of the political spectrum but all of us.

    I hope this helps and please don’t think I’m asking anybody to adhere to a “no venting” policy, just be open to actual concerns as opposed to the machinations and brayings of the real grabbers. Be sure of your targets before you shoot off your posts.

    • I think you make some very good points. We are not communicating well or for that matter representing ourselves particularly well.

  162. The Bill of Rights = Human Rights

    I may not own a gun, but I have the right to.

    Patrick Henry said: Give me liberty or give me death. The 2nd Amendment lets me pick the former over the latter.

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