Keanu Reeves

82 COMMENTS

  1. If these pellets aren’t moving at least 1500 fps… Well… Either way your head is going to pop like a melon…

  2. Although a little noisy, the city stated that Tru-Green Environmental Company’s state of the art machinery was the reason that they were awarded the sidewalk chewing gum removal contract.

  3. “Baby on Board” sticker? Use the KSG’s dual magazine system to switch to birdshot instead of buckshot.

  4. After a spill, workers at an epoxy manufacturer had to use new innovative methods to remove bird poop from thier cars.

  5. “Hello, I’m Keanu Reeves. I don’t really play Keanu Reeves all the time but when I do loud noises and disintegrating props helps the audience forget I’m here.”

    • And fyi, England, having already lost the ashes to the aussies again, have an outside shot to win the 4th test and salvage a bit of pride.

  6. “I got some cables and I tried to jump it
    I got a shotgun and I’m gonna pump it!”

    – from the song “Push My Car” by the Weatherheads – from the Car Talk Car Tunes Volume I CD

  7. 24 hours later….

    (*phone rings*)

    Keanu: “uh, hello?”

    Man on phone: “Yes, Mr. Reeves? My name is Mark, and I’m with Progressive Insurance. We got your photo of the, uh, ‘hail damage’ you sent. I’m afraid the damage looks, uh, well, it looks a little suspicious. We’re going to need to ask you a few questions before we can cover your claim.”

  8. See if you call me the “worst actor of all time” again…. (seriously, worse than Kevin Costner and Ben Stiller combined)

  9. Now that I am getting older I need to put holographic sights on my shotguns to hit a car at 3 feet

  10. Hi, I’m Joe Hollywood. Join with me to help ban guns and stop violence. Oh, and don’t miss my new film, Killemshootemblowemup.

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