[h/t Ed D.]

120 COMMENTS

  1. Muhammad tests the new rocket powered pogo stick after the ISIS flying carpet program failed to get off the ground!

  2. Muhammad had Boraq the flying donkey, and modern middle east is attempting to ride a rifle across the sky.
    -or-
    After watching Wizard of Oz, Bill decided to build a boom stick to ride.

  3. Revoke my passport? Can’t return home to spread Allah’s message? We’ll see about that!

  4. ISIS problem solved, Genie will turn them all into goats when he finds out they shot his friend.

  5. I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine
    On a cloud of sound I drift in the night
    Any place it goes is right
    Goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here

    Well, you don’t know what we can find
    Why don’t you come with me little girl
    On a magic carpet ride
    You don’t know what we can see
    Why don’t you tell your dreams to me
    Fantasy will set you free
    Close your eyes girl
    Look inside girl
    Let the sound take you away

    Last night I held Aladdin’s lamp
    And so I wished that I could stay
    Before the thing could answer me
    Well, someone came and took the lamp away
    I looked around, a lousy candle’s all I found

    Well, you don’t know what we can find
    Why don’t you come with me little girl
    On a magic carpet ride
    Well, you don’t know what we can see
    Why don’t you tell your dreams to me
    Fantasy will set you free
    Close your eyes girl
    Look inside girl
    Let the sound take you away

    Magic Carpet Ride
    Steppenwolf

  6. This is going to take longer than I thought, to get to America, if I have to land and reload every 20′

  7. I’ll have to have a talk with that carpet salesman, when I get back, He said this thing would take at least a dozen blasts!

  8. Omar shouted “Allahu akbar!” as he leaped. At the height of his jump he pulled the trigger, discharging a gout of smoke and flame into the carpet. If this didn’t get that damned Steppenwolf song out of his head, nothing would.

    • My favorite Benny Hill “poem”

      They said that it could not be done,
      He said, “Just let me try.”
      They said, “Other men have tried and failed,”
      He answered, “But not I.”
      They said, “It is impossible,”
      He said, “There’s no such word.”
      He closed his mind, he closed his heart…
      To everything he heard.

      He said, “Within the heart of man,
      There is a tiny seed.
      It grows until it blossoms,
      It’s called the will to succeed.
      Its roots are strength, its stem is hope,
      Its petals inspiration,
      Its thorns protect its strong green leaves,
      With grim determination.

      “Its stamens are its skills
      Which help to shape each plan,
      For there’s nothing in the universe
      Beyond the scope of man.”
      They thought that it could not be done,
      Some even said they knew it,
      But he faced up to what could not be done…
      And he couldn’t bloody do it!

      • I always liked Benny Hill. I have a short piece saved of him helping a couple of sexy band members over an iron gate, while fondling their stocking clad limbs. then when it’s time for the old ladies. he simply raises the latch, and opens the iron gate!

  9. Virgins? But I just killed a carpet! BTW-breakin’ news-legal conceal carrier kills girlfriend in apparent murder/suicide in downtown Chicago-as seen on WLS TV/Chicago by me last hour…details whenever…

  10. “Shouldn’t officers use their initiative at all times?”
    “No Lawrence, it’s dangerous. Look at this poor bugger, for example.”

  11. Isis experements kerbel space program style

    Alternative

    After playing team fortress 2 isis has thier soldiers experiment with the soldiers rocket jump ability

  12. ” I can show you the world
    Shining, shimmering, splendid
    Tell me, princess, now when did
    You last let your heart decide?
    I can open your eyes
    Take you wonder by wonder
    Over, sideways and under
    On a magic carpet ri…”

    Read more: Aladdin – A Whole New World Lyrics | MetroLyrics

  13. Alladin didn’t leave detailed instructions on the whole flying carpet thing, but how hard could it be?!?!

  14. With the magic carpet broken down,Abdulluh knew the only way he’d make it home before his wife was with his new Jihad 2000 rocket pogo!

  15. The guidance systems on ISISs surface to air missles most notably illuatrates the technology gap between them and the west

  16. The producers thought they needed a new course designer after the season 1 disaster of Arabian Ninja Jihadist

  17. Abdul Rahman being a super fan of Steppenwolf, is seen here attempting combine two of the bands greatest hits. The obvious, “Magic Carpet Ride” with “Born to be Wild” giving literal reference to the lyrics
    “Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space”.
    Well done Abdul!

  18. “Using his jezail rifle, this skilled Afghani demonstrates a little known technique for escaping from attacking mujahadeen. It is highly effective. “

  19. New from Ronco it’s the Flintlock Magic Carpet Cleaner! Such a fantastic labor saver, now the little lady will have more time to scrape the camel dung from your boots and comb the insects from your beard. But wait! There’s more! For a limited time order 2 and get a free burqa for the little woman! (Just pay extra shipping and handling, limited time offer, not valid in all states, sales tax not included, your mileage may vary, not valid with other discounts or coupons, delivery charges may apply, tax, tag, and title extra, prices higher in AK & HI, Death to America!, operators are standing by).

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