46 COMMENTS

  1. This is my special day. You’re gonna marry me, and you’re gonna like it.
    I’ll show you why to buy the cow when the milk’s free.

  2. Before the wedding, the bride had a heart-to-heart talk with the ladies who wanted the groom to marry them instead.
    -or, as Loretta Lynn said:
    “You ain’t woman enough to take my man.”

  3. What part of “There will be no crying” did you not understand?

    or

    Do they speak english is ‘what?’ huh, do they?

  4. Someone spoke now and she pulled her piece. I’ve always wondered why I’ve never heard anyone object when the pastor said that.

  5. A FREE wedding dress for your daughter with the purchase of a $500 black powder pistol. Just imagine all the money you’ll save (and actually keep) when it’s time to marry her off and you have to pay for a bridal gown costing thou$ands. Such a deal!

  6. Why yes, I do know what wearing white implies. Now stand still while I show you for what exactly you were being “groomed.”

  7. “You listen to me mister , now that w’ere married , I AM in charge , and I don’t want your damn mother over here telling me how and what to make as your favorite meals ,GOT IT ?!

  8. After a recent same-sex marriage in Boston a woman turned to her new spouse and said “No, I changed my mind. You are going to be the bottom and I’ll be the Top”.

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