50 COMMENTS

  1. Seeing this picture, Katie Holmes asked Tom Cruise for a watermelon and a Glock. He said no.

    Result:

    Divorce.

    • I’m fairly certain that photo violates the Hauge Convention, the Geneva Convention and laws in at least 47 US States and 9 Canadian Provinces.

      • Goddamned Newfies.

        Or maybe Manitobans?

        Gotta be one of them. The Quebecois may be annoying, but they have some style.

    • That pic needs a really fat spliff of Acapulco Gold in order to properly ruminate over.

  2. I’m tired of cutting up watermelons with a knife. Ya ever seen what one of these does to a watermelon.

  3. An ample, well developed FUPA lends added stability while utilizing the isosceles stance, as Brenda here will demonstrate…

  4. When planting your Detroit urban survival garden be aware some crops require more attentive care than others….

  5. You may choose one of three to be your lifetime companion:
    A) watermelon
    B) woman
    C) Glock

  6. And for the last point of our comparative review: grip ergonomics. Sorry Glock, this one goes to the watermelon.

  7. Say “make me a sammich” one more time and you’re going to know what it is like to pass a watermelon. . .

  8. Some people are never satisfied. Like the woman with a Glock in one hand and a watermelon in the other and she still complains she only has FMJ instead of HP ammo.

  9. Short-term zombie survival plan win! Or… “No time to explain! Come with me if you want to live!”

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