42 COMMENTS

  1. Now, remember kids. A zombies bite is how it turns you into one, so keep your arm as close as possible

  2. “Hi there!! I’m Sheriff Tool giving some kind of BS demonstration using a fake girl, a fake gun and a fake sense of importance!”

  3. When the impossibly improbable event of a kel-tec RFB appearing in the wild, in the same place and the same time as the impossibly improbable event of a zombie apocalypse, the time-space continuum in which we all exist backflipped to May 23rd, 1998, groaned in anguish, and the entire universe caved in on itself.

  4. Mike found it very difficult getting along with his siamese twin … until one day, he found the solution…

  5. “You said my girlfiend is a vampire. Why would you say that?”
    “Because she is really pale looking, and she looks like she just finished drinking blood”
    “TRUDY, How many times do I have to tell you. Clean up after you make a kill.”

  6. My new bride and I have been looking forward to this honeymoon for a long time. Now if you’ll excuse us, it’s time to consummate our marriage.

  7. mom…I want you to meet candy….candy this is my mother….no mom she’s not pregnant…but mom she’s the apple of my eye…..yes mother i love you too…..wheres dad?

  8. MikeyB’s newest business venture……zombie cathouse escort service. “Just me and my business partner here. Runnin it by hand for now till we get a bigger lineup.”

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