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Enter the best caption in the comments by midnight Sunday and you’ll win a Strike Industries Checkmate Comp (used by Jeremy for testing, pic after the jump) . . .     [h/t Tom in Oregon]

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(comp has no washer)

148 COMMENTS

  1. After several unsuccessful spear fishing expeditions, Joe finally decides to bring the equalizer!

  2. Electronic Arts has purchased the flagging Call of Duty franchise from Activision and plans on bolstering sales using a cross-over strategy with its own troubled Tiger Woods golf property. Pictured: an upcoming still from the new game taken from a level titled “Water Hazard.”

  3. I really don’t know how they can fire under water without rupturing eardrums or not being able to clear their ears changing depths.

    • Go to depth.

      Equalize ears.

      Insert ear plugs.

      Shoot gun.

      Remove ear plugs.

      Ascend.

      If you fail to remove ear plugs before ascending, you’ll damn sure wish you had.

      • Well, I’ll be… Do the plugs actually do any good under water? Seems as if it still would hurt a whole lot given how well sound travels in a liquid.

        • You’ll have to ask someone who has tried it.

          I like my ears far too much to play test subject…

    • Jacques Cousteau made Scuba divers, Gaston Glock’s marine firing pin cups made them equal.

      FIFY

  4. Insurance Adjuster Jeremy Harris was somewhat shocked to find that the guns were indeed lost at sea

  5. While Gordon endured the interminable wait for his NFA paperwork to clear, he found alternative ways to suppress his firearm while training.

  6. So that’s what happened to the ‘assault rifles’ I lost in that tragic canoeing accident.

  7. When your pool has a serious algae problem, use AK*, Algae Killer by Kalashnikov.

    or

    What happens to Russians who wizz in public swimming pools.

  8. “Under the sea, darlin’ it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me”

  9. When Ivan first came to America he got fired from his first job as a cameraman for the discovery channel shooting shark week.

  10. Now children, this is a photo from the early 21st Century of the well-known military expedition undertaken in Lake Ontario to discover the location that Hillary Clinton hid her soul. The camera was found on the shore some months later, the fate of those brave men is still unknown to this day.

  11. Bob the scuba instructor and gun enthusiast decided to do a special under water tribute to mikhail kalashnikov.

  12. There you go Mr. Krabs. Plankton won’t be trying to get the Krabby Patty formula anymore!

  13. Yep, the effective terminal range of an AK47 under water is about 3 feet.

  14. While Sally sells seashells down by the seashore, Sammy prefers his shells be 7.62×39.

  15. 1. I see they found the JJFU Suppressor Testing Facility
    2. “Obviously guns are responsible for the shark attacks on the east coast, and underwater recreational fishing has no need for large capacity clips or pistol grips or other scary black accessories like rocket launchers and full-auto modular rails! How many fish have to die before we stop this madness” (quote from Democratic senator from NY, while eating his grilled Halibut)

  16. I guess when you live in a gun free zone, there aren’t really many places to go grocery shopping anymore.

  17. The shark interrogation continued to slide down a slippery slope. The fish begged and pleaded for his life. His young sharkling just finished elementary school; his wife finishing up her dental assistant degree. All whilst denying any ties to the Carolina shark attacks. Suddenly, a load thunk deafened the few witnesses surrounding the prisoner.
    Major Smith stood there, bubble erupting all around him. “Spear me your lies, fish.”

  18. When you positively, absolutely, have to kill everything in the pond. Unfortunately, Boris did not have the appropriate stamp and will now spend the rest of his life diving for golf balls at the local muni course.

  19. Some studies suggest that scuba diving is increasing in popularity but the truth is there are fewer and fewer who are accumulating larger amounts of scuba gear.

  20. What’s better than one dead lawyer at the bottom of the ocean?
    One really dead lawyer at the bottom of the ocean.

  21. Dave tried all the lures and every kind of bait with no luck. Then he got even…

    “I’ll teach you stupid fish to laugh at me!”

  22. “Somehow,I thought submarine warfare was going to be different! ….damn budget cuts!”

  23. Putin’s recent demonstration of Spetznaz anti submarine warfare resulted in another front page spread in Pravda for the “beloved” leader.

  24. “Say hello to my LEETLE friend….”

    Hollywood, (attempting to milk a dead cow) takes another ‘shot’ at Tony Montana in Scar Of the Seas.

  25. “The Old Man and the Sea” would have ended differently if he had SCUBA tanks and a modified Kalash…

  26. I guess which gun I use depends on how big the barrel is.
    or
    There’s no fish in this barrel. Promise.
    or
    Moby Dick ain’t got shit on me!
    or
    Kalasnikov: Telling stingrays to fuck off since 1947.
    or
    If only Steve Irwin had one of these.
    or
    Tales of “the one that got away” suddenly become very rare.
    or
    No. More. Excuses.

  27. And last, Mr. AK-47, the very best there is… When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf*cking fish within three to five feet, accept no substitute!

  28. Check out my dive buddy…..it was his first time watching shark week on the discovery channel.

  29. President Obama FINALLY caved in and made an “assault rifle allowed area” in America today, in response to the gun owners cries about “gun free zones”.

  30. You’re scuba diving down a deserted coral outcropping with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. Fortunately, you’re packing and you let him have it with your underwater AK. Thank goodness for that underwater combat course you took in Vegas last year.

  31. Well, the TASER didn’t work out so well. Despite being electrocuted I still have motor function in my trigger finger! Lets try the AK next!

  32. Coming to theaters this summer the next and final chapter in the Nemo saga.

    First there was FINDING NEMO

    This summer we proudly present: NEMO FOUND & TERMINATED (with extreme prejudice) rated G

    Starring DevGru, filmed on location at Dam Neck and off the Virginia coast. The true story of a group of brave United State Navy SEALs on a mission to capture or kill the most famous cute adorable lovable fish in the world, NEMO.

    ( SPOILER ALERT )

    Sushi anyone?

  33. Rule #4 – Know your target and what’s beyond, even if you only have 30 feet of visibility.

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