JDH was last week’s winner. This weeks prize is a TorkMag 35-round AR magazine. All you have to do is enter your best work in the comments by Sunday at midnight to be eligible. Good luck.

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55 COMMENTS

  3. You’re the only one who understands me. My wife is against because of her mother’s influence. But you my dear, I know you will never turn on me.

  6. “it’l fire this time, i promise… i just have to warm it up with my breath.”

  7. “stay up if you want to, i’m turning in. once he starts talking to his pistol he’s useless.”

  9. “if these gals figure out i caught my lip in the slide, they’ll never allow me to culturally appropriate their tortilla recipe!”

  10. Don’t worry, ladies. Like the prize, this gun is not California compliant.

  12. Ah, forcing the mother-in-law to don the radiation suit and shut down the overheating core?

  14. Momma look at that trigger discipline, for shame.

    Oh heavens, think of the children!!!

  16. “Ok! Ok! You ladies win! But I’m going to bite on my gun instead of the pillow! That way I keep a small portion of my masculinity! Wait can I at least use some of my frog lube to make it go in easier?”

  18. It’s ok my pretty little Beretta. I really love you more than her! I just said that so I can get her mother’s inheritance! Soon we’ll be alone to shoot together forever!

  20. IF I live to be 100 I’ll never understand the brain of a woman. I’m going back to work. I understand that.

  22. If I live to be 100, I’ll never understand the brain of a woman. I’m going back to work. It’s safer.

  23. Yeah, yeah…..two center mass, one to the head. Yeah….I can do that, sure I can. I do it everyday playing Strike Force!

  24. “So I’m standing like this, and then he said, ‘I’ll just check your prostate now.’ That’s when I shot him.”

  29. If only I had an AR and a Torkmag instead of this puny popgun, I could fight my way outta this gin joint.

  31. River Kwai? Never heard of it. I was a cooks helper in Japan during the whole war. Honest.

  32. The “Lucky Shot”, a pistol shaped flask. Pull the trigger to open the chamber, then take a shot or two. What could go wrong with a “Lucky Shot”?

  33. I’m doing my best, darling, I keep trying to tell them that I was the one who killed all those people, but those moms keep insisting that you committed those murders on your own.

  36. My gun feels light, did they take the ammo out last night when they Shanghighed me?

  37. You wicked women may have broken my arm, but I can still use the rear sight to rack the slide with my lip.

  38. Guy: Yes, I shot myself in the ass.
    Young woman: It’s not as bad as the last time.

  42. “The voices tell me I have to kill one of them. The young one is smokin’ hot, but the old lady. .. damn! her noodles are tasty.”

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