“Police say a man robbed a hotel a mile from the Pentagon with an unusual weapon: a hot cup of coffee,” nbcnews.comreports. “The suspect entered the Best Western in Arlington, Va., on Tuesday night around 9:45 p.m., threw the coffee on the front desk attendant, and jumped the counter, stealing a cash drawer with about $450 and a cell phone in it, Arlington County police said. He then drove away. Officers dispatched a K9 unit and a U.S. Park Police helicopter was called in to help search for the suspect, who fled in a white sedan, but he wasn’t caught, police said. The desk clerk’s condition is unknown.”

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27 COMMENTS

  3. WhoaWhoaWeeWhoa! Stop right there! You mean to tell me that not all robberies happen with guns or swords?! I am (almost) speechless!

    /end sarcasm/

    But seriously, I wonder if the fugitive actually planned that, or if it was a spur-of-the-moment deal.

    • My vote goes to spur of the moment. Who doesn’t feel like commuting felony assault and then robbing a cash register when they get a bad cup of coffee?

  5. Time for some common sense coffee control.
    These morning people who bitterly cling to their coffee are the real problem.
    After all, nobody NEEDS to have their beverages at a hot temperature.
    Obviously, only police and military are responsible enough to handle a drink as dangerous as coffee.
    The burns wouldn’t have been so bad without the criminal’s high-capacity assault cup. Ban venti size!
    And, with thanks to our most recent lunatic featured on the site: Sometimes we need to have our coffee privileges taken away until we can learn how to behave with hot beverages.

  8. Didn’t Caleb Giddings defend himself once with a cup of coffee? This just demonstrates that coffee has a dark side too. A rich, velvety dark side with hints of citrus and a strong finish.

  9. You see? this is why we need to ban ASSAULT WEAPONS and EXTRA CAPACITY ASSAULT CLIPS! Dammit, don’t y’all see the violence……wait, what? Coffee? Ummm, but if he didn’t have coffee, he surely would have used an assault weapon, so ban them anyway, and knives…and fist and feet…and pointy things…and blunt things…Oh what the hell, just ban robbery, that should work.

  10. Cain attacked his brother Abel with a rock. Now people are being attacked with coffee. What can’t be used as a weapon? We must ban everything.

  11. Speaking of coffee having a dark side. Did anyone else hear (I think it was yesterday) about the open tennis umpire that reportedly killed her husband of 50 some odd yrs. with a coffee mug? Chalk another stat up to blunt objects.

    • i shit you not. about 30 years ago a woman bartender killed a customer with a glass ashtray in a dive up the street fron where i lived. one of those heavy glass ones you used to see in bars. hit him in the head.

  12. Caleb defended himself from a mugger with this same weapon a while back. I also remember a woman suing a dealer of this weapon successfully after a self inflicted wound due to negligent discharge. Some of the most powerful of this weapon is imported from South America. Even when you use this weapon responsibly and as intended it will still loosen your bowels.

    Sounds like a “bold” robbery to me. It takes more then the average “Joe” to pull such a stunt.

        • Hollow ice cubes are cop killers! They were made exclusively for the murder of police. Anyone caught with hollow Ice cubes in their coffee will be sentenced to 15 years for endangering an officer

      • Have you ever fired an ice cube out of a WristRocket slingshot? Assault cubes! Plus, the evidence melts!

  15. Gun-grabbers take note.

    Gun Free Zones Kill.

    Therefor, lawmakers enacting those laws are killing us.

    Therefor, the gun-grabbers who knowingly vote for them, kill.

    Is there more than that? YOU gun-grabbers are the problem!

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