I know what you’re thinking: he’s going to link to another editorial that misinterprets the Second Amendment’s militia clause, argues that American gun owners couldn’t possibly face down the military might of a tyrannical government, and lobbies for draconian gun rights infringement under the guise of “common sense.” Nope. This one is exponentially more execrable. And it goes a little something like this: “There’s a mantra quickly repeating in my head: ‘Please have a badge. Please have a badge. Please have a badge.’ It’s a steady heartbeat as I begin a conversation with a shop clerk and reposition myself so I can peer over her shoulder . . .

I’ve already seen the bulge in his jacket, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has a holstered gun. Now my eyes are quickly scanning, hoping to find a law enforcement badge clipped to his belt.

I’m in a local bookstore and there’s a sticker near the door asking patrons not to carry weapons on the premises. My two children scurried off the moment we entered, each in search of their own treasures.

The man with the weapon is as interested with the bookstore patrons as he is with the books on display. I’ve watched him watch others. The way he tracks them is unnerving.

Spoiler alert: nothing happens. Lynda Waddington’s editorial at Iowa’s thegazette.com, Why your gun makes me nervous, doesn’t go anywhere, plot-wise. Nor does it explain why the concealed carrier made Waddington nervous. But it does raise an interesting question: and they call us nuts?

There’s no badge — at least not one I can see. And my inspection of him has not gone unnoticed. I rotate my handbag so that more of it rests toward the front of my body and gently pat it. It’s a tell by women who are packing heat in their purse. Many do it without thinking, a subtle check of hard steel through the leather. My touch is greeted by the bristles on my hairbrush, but no one else knows that.

The man recognizes the gesture, his eyes briefly flicking to my own before he moves past us in the aisle.

I still don’t know him, and the movie trailers increase. He could be the stalker, searching for his mark. He could be contemplating a robbery, or seeking someone to abduct. He could be an off-duty police officer, or even one that is undercover. He could be paranoid, thinking the world is out to get him or knowing someone truly is. He could be a fugitive, a drug dealer, a rapist or the owner of a sporting goods store. He could be a million things.

Whatever he may or may not be, we know what he is: an American exercising his natural, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms. As handgunlaw.us reveals, “‘No Firearm’ signs in Iowa have no force of law unless they are posted on property that is specifically mentioned in State Law as being off limits to those with a Permit/License to Carry.”

The real problem here is obvious: fear. Ms. Waddington’s fear that a man with a gun could do her harm. In this she is not wrong. But there’s wrong and there’s wrong. While a man with a concealed weapon could pose a lethal threat, anyone could be carrying a concealed weapon. Anyone could be a threat to her or her family.

Gun rights offer Ms. Waddington a chance to defend herself against threats to her and/or her family. The idea that legislating against gun rights would make her safer against people who want to do her harm – with or without a gun – makes no sense. But like I said, this could be the worst anti-gun rant in the history of the wold ever.

Although he is unknown to me, I do know Iowa’s lackluster gun laws and that they offer no assurances. While law enforcement officers have been trained with their weapons, civilians handed licenses to carry weapons in Iowa need not have ever touched, much less fired a weapon.

Mandated classes do not teach those who carry to use, nor do they assess accuracy or respect.

I do not know the last time the weapon in the man’s holster was maintained, and state law provides no assurances he knows how to maintain it.

As we leave, I am angered by lawmakers and gun advocates who preach blind trust in the same breath as they extol the dangers of society as their reason for needing to carry a weapon in a bookstore.

Blind trust? Well, someone’s blind here and not a little emotionally and intellectually challenged. For example, I don’t think the word “extol” means what Ms. Waddington thinks it means. Anyway, Ms. Waddington, do not ask for whom the gun rights advocates extol. They extol for thee.

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

198 COMMENTS

  1. Wait, she’s basically saying she felt terrorized because she thinks this man had a gun, so to feel safer she pretends she has a gun in her purse???

    • She is a histrionic nosey busybody with no real self defense training making up an overly dramatic scenario where nothing illegal happened to advance her fear based agenda of civilian disarmament.

      Because she believes in fantasy, especially the one about feeling safe means I always am safe.

      And her whole story she made up out of thin air.

    • Excellent point. If a dude wearing a ski mask walked in and grabbed her kid, betcha she’d want more than a hairbrush.

      But the whole story is BS. If she’s educated enough to recognize concealed carry, she knows that CCW folks aren’t creepy stalkers looking to grab kids or shoot people. Not to mention off-duty and some plainclothes cops aren’t going to wear badges like on TV. I’m reading a lot more stories that reek of embellishment or fiction. BS BS BS.

    • [q]He could be a million things.[/q]

      And nowhere does she consider that he might just be out looking for a book/movie whatever, just minding his business, and being aware. Or maybe just eyeballing the MILFs.

    • Short version: I was in a bookstore, and think I saw someone carrying a gun legally. I was really scared. Nothing happened, and that’s why guns are bad.

    • hahaha…. Therefore proving that she would feel safer if she actually had one. It’s brilliant, actually.

    • So if he was up to no good, guess who would get shot first? Yup the one claiming to have a gun in her purse! Just sayin’!

  2. I read this the other day. The thing that kills me? SHE NEVER VISUALLY ID’D AN ACTUAL WEAPON. That could have easily been a cell phone on his belt. Ugh.

    • Yeah, I read this the other day as well, and like a bad nightmare, I’ve been trying to forget it.

      It’s rather disturbing that there are people this disconnected from rationality out there…they have a voice on the ‘Net and they vote.

      One thing that stuck in my mind as a possible reply: “Lady, you ever happen to check the crime rate stats on those with CC permits vs those with badges?”

      Her faith in “please have a badge” is just mind numbing.

      Not cop-hating – truthfully, she should fear neither group. But, if she is going to pick one to irrationally fear, shouldn’t it be the one that actually represents more risk?

      • “While law enforcement officers have been trained with their weapons, civilians handed licenses to carry weapons in Iowa need not have ever touched, much less fired a weapon.”

        extol? I’m not sure she understands the word “trained” either. I think what she meant to say was “have qualified annually”.

    • You never know. It could have been… EBOLA.
      ..and as I walked through the bookstore aisles all I could think was “please have a Hazmat suit, please have a Hazmat suit, please have a Hazmat suit”.

      Oh wait, wrong imaginary threat.

  4. Talk about paranoid.

    “gun advocates who preach blind trust ”

    Seriously, screw this lady. We The People do not need to prove ourselves to the Holy Government.

    The only other thing wrong here was the guy didn’t conceal well enough to avoid notice by this pearl-clutcher. If it even was a gun and not a cell phone or Leatherman or whatever.

    • Grindstone says: “Seriously, screw this lady.”

      Uhh….”no”, not enough alcohol in the world.

      • “Grindstone says: “Seriously, screw this lady.”

        Uhh….”no”, not enough alcohol in the world.”

        Now that’s mighty intolerant of you…

        How about ‘taking one for the team’ here and adjusting her attitude?

    • Yes. it deserves a TTAG post. I saw it the other day, too, and bookmarked for future reference.

      And this woman… is in dire need of medication.

      • I can change two terms in her opening sentence and illustrate how utterly and totally irrational this woman is:

        “I’ve already seen the bulge in his jacket pants, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has a holstered gun an erection.”

        Based on that observation, would she be sane and rational to go on and on about how the man must be a rapist who is about to assault someone — anyone — at any instant? And would it be sane and rational to dispel all that fear that the man was a rapist as long as she saw a badge on his belt?

        Sheesh!

  7. “I rotate my handbag so that more of it rests toward the front of my body and gently pat it. It’s a tell by women who are packing heat in their purse”

    Sooooo… She is so freaked out by someone possibly packing, that she fakes like she is packing?

    Someone call a shrink for her. Please?

    • You can further add her over active hollywoodized imagination to the therapy sessions. She only assumed the potential carrier was there to commit a crime, no other reason. She even admitted the trailers ran through her mind. News flash dearie, hollywood movies aren’t reality, get a grip already.

    • I use a conceal carry handbag occasionally and never once have I done anything like this:

      “I rotate my handbag so that more of it rests toward the front of my body and gently pat it. It’s a tell by women who are packing heat in their purse”

      Only in her fantasies! With all the women I know who use a conceal carry handbag, not a one of them would or even consider any kind of action like that. She’s a few fries short of a happy meal and I think she needs to put her fantasy novels down.

    • You’d trust her with a gun?

      I sure would’nt!

      There’s a reason she’s so fearful, and it’s the same reason she and most anti-gun fanatics should never have, or even hold a firearm. It’s called frantic poor judgement.

  11. “The man with the weapon is as interested with the bookstore patrons as he is with the books on display. I’ve watched him watch others. The way he tracks them is unnerving.” – said the pot. Projection much?

    • Not only that, but she never even considers the fact that many carriers are very aware of their surroundings, and that includes paying attention to who is entering the location you are at. Of course, when the first thing your mind jumps to is hyperbole and “zomg, he could be planning a robbery!”, what are the chances of a logical and rational thought like that ever occuring?

      • The situational awareness of knowing your surroundings exercised by the CCW scared her into pretending to brandish a weapon. This is a prime example of the liberal regressive that has infected the Great Plains and other freedom retaining states, thank you costal sheeple. That sorry excuse for an American would be terrified if she knew that the man minding his own business exercising self-protection has threat assessed everyone in sight, sound, and smell to ensure his safety and by extension hers. She is unfortunately able to continue to indoctrinate her children to be weak shells of American citizens thanks to the first amendment, which is backed up by the second. Her exhibition of irrational fear is amazing and profoundly confusing to rational people. There is no compromise with people like this and it is sad how much disdain for freedom she expresses while exercising the most important tool of freedom, The Pen, not the sword that makes her wet her self.

  12. “I still don’t know him, and the movie trailers increase.”

    And we are the ones living in an action movie?

    She never even saw a gun, and freaked out this much? We are the paranoid ones?

  13. Here’s the scariest part of that story: My two children scurried off the moment we entered. That woman’s genes will continue to pollute the gene pool for at least another generation.

      • Un-known to Lynda her kids play ‘Call of Duty’ at their friends homes and can’t wait to get a job and an apartment so they can start their own gun collection…

    • I think this shows how propaganda can effect some people. Guns have been a part of my life from Daisy Red Rider’s to Remington 700 30-06’s. This lady hasn’t any experience with any firearm in her life. And it shows. This is the problem with so many. Glittering jewels of colossal ignorance.

  15. So, did she ever figure out if he actually had a smoke wagon? Or was she losing her mind over an iPhone?

  16. So in other words, what we have here is a woman who went bat-sh_t paranoid because she saw an outline of what she thought was a gun….

    … another example of a hysterical woman over what could have been a cell phone case! She’s so scared of her own shadow.

    When I read these articles by these Moms, I think to myself “Thank God that isn’t my mom!”

  17. I am fearful of the bill her obesity is going to incur on those us taxpayers who don’t go for the third latte that day…

  18. Her fear is completely out of control. She’s a paradigm sheep and unbalanced by her unreasoning fear. Thank goodness she did not have a gun. She could have worked herself into such a frenzy that she pulled the gun and shot the man she was projecting on. She is a danger to herself and others. To make matters worse, she thinks that how she thinks and feels is “normal” and everyone else ought to think and feel as she does.

  19. She’s lucky to have survived. She should get to wear a ribbon or something that announces to the world that she is an “encounter with a possibly armed person” survivor.

  20. She lets her children run off out of sight? She’s real worried about them, huh? This woman watches way to much tv it would seem to me. Reality escapes her.

  21. So she is saying that she is as scared of a law abiding person licensed to carry a gun as she is of a criminal carrying a gun illegally.

    That she would be less frightened if they made a law to keep law abiding citizens from carrying a gun; there by leaving her and everyone else incapable of defending themselves from the criminal that will ignore the law. Both laws, the law against committing unprovoked violence against another human being, as well as the law against carrying a concealed weapon without a license.

    Irrational, illogical, immature, delusional. This woman just showed the world a level of dysfunction bordering on outright insanity; and what is especially frightening is she actually thought she was making some valid point others would find some edification from her sharing her perspective.

    if it wasn’t for the fact that so many share her dysfunction; it would simply be amusing; but these are the people that put politicians in power that cater to their irrational fear; and that work tirelessly to violate our rights in some Quixotic attempt to assuage their fear of an inanimate object.

  22. This gal is pathetic. Pretending she has a gun? And she probably thinks she is the smartest one in the room.

  24. I was walking on the sidewalk today and suddenly became terrified. There was a person driving down the street. What’s to keep them from losing control? What’s to keep them from just turning and running me over? Do the breaks work? When’s the last time they took a driving course? Are they even licensed?

  25. OK, I’ve repeatedly tried posting the same thing multiple times, but it doesn’t show up. So if I have multiple identical posts here for some reason later on, please go ahead and delete them.

  26. Her argument about this is completely flawed because she’s basically saying “hey I’ve got a gun, don’t mess with me” to a guy she thinks has a gun. Which is almost like the quintessential wave to another motorcyclist. Basically if they were both open carrying there wouldn’t have to be this awkward gesture by her. So in her absent minded article she all but states ” to protect my children and myself against a perceived ( and I’m pushing the limits of perceived) threat I let it be known that I’m packing and can engage if/when necessary”

    • You nailed it. The irony is strong in this one. She defaults to the most effective defense against violence (real or imagined) when “threatened”. Might as well be an NRA add!

  28. Why Your Purse Makes Me Nervous

    As my eyes catch sight of the woman in the bookstore acting very nervous and patting her handbag, I get concerned. Why is she in a bookstore? Is she researching bomb-making materials and methods?

    Did she purchase a pressure cooker and does she have a bomb in her purse or her child’s backpack? Why is she patting her purse as she nervously eyes the cashier? Is she preparing to rob her? Is she checking me out so as to discover if I’m armed, and evaluate whether I’d resist? Is her purse ticking?

    Is she an extremist, bent on destroying books and preventing education of the masses?

    She stares at me suspiciously, and I nod approval out of fear that – having been made – she’ll activate her terrorist plot early, while I’m still in the bookstore.

    First Amendment advocates scream about the need for the freedom of citizens to consume nearly all available information, but laws can’t stop civilians from researching how to make bombs that can kill or mutilate dozens of people using common, available, materials. While Bomb Squad members know how to safely handle bombs, civilians don’t – and she isn’t wearing anything that indicates that she’s a Bomb Squad member.

    Why doesn’t the Government protect us by passing laws that prohibit people from producing and providing information and media that could be harmful in the wrong hands? Why is there no Government committee to determine what civilians should and shouldn’t have available to us?

    Why doesn’t the Government censor media to keep us safe? Why can civilians view whatever they wish on the Internet with impunity? How can responsible leaders allow the availability of culture corrupting media to civilian markets?

    Sylvester Stallone and Liam Neeson movies glorify and perpetuate a culture of violence only serving to increase violent crime and create a perception that violence is the proper way to deal with adversity – all while showcasing poor safety practices and misleading the public about defensive gun use.

    Why can’t we simply insist that all civilians begin psychological training at an early age to prevent any potential resistance to authority? I gather my things and quickly leave the store, happy to have escaped the clutches of terrorism.

    • Oh gawd, Steve! Please! You’ve got to send your post to the gazzette! Seriously! It’s better written than hers, and way more accurate in terms of things that might happen.

      By the way, it made me laugh so hard I had to head to the can…

    • Outstanding Ludwig! Here’s one more:

      I suspect she lives with a farmer who races cars on the weekends which means she has the perfect cover story that no one will question as to why she is toting around that package of ammonium nitrate fertilizer mixed with racing fuel that she’s hiding in that shopping bag.

    • Excellent job Mr. Ludwig. Try this angle on for size! (Pun intended!)

      . . .

      There’s a mantra quickly repeating in my head: “Please have a badge. Please have a badge. Please have a badge.” It’s a steady heartbeat as I begin a conversation with a shop clerk and reposition myself so I can peer over her shoulder.

      I’ve already seen the bulge in his pants, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has an erection. Now my eyes are quickly scanning, hoping to find a law enforcement badge clipped to his belt.

      I’m in a local bookstore and there’s a sticker near the door asking patrons not to have erections on the premises. My two children scurried off the moment we entered, each in search of their own treasures.

      The man with the erection is as interested with the bookstore patrons as he is with the books on display. I’ve watched him watch others. The way he tracks them is unnerving.

      I do not know this man, have no knowledge of his profession, personality or character. I am unaware of his mental state, of why he feels aroused in a bookstore. Frankly, I’m not that interested in his reasons right now. My mind is too busy filtering through the various scenarios that could be taking place. They flick before me like movie trailers, and I watch, casting some aside and mentally marking others for further consideration.

      There’s no badge — at least not one I can see. And my inspection of him has not gone unnoticed. I rotate my handbag so that more of it rests toward the front of my body and gently pat it. It’s a tell by women who have cell phones with 911 on speed dial. Many do it without thinking, a subtle check of the hard plastic phone case through the leather. My touch is greeted by the bristles on my hairbrush, but no one else knows that.

      The man recognizes the gesture, his eyes briefly flicking to my own before he moves past us in the aisle.

      I still don’t know him, and the movie trailers increase. He could be the stalker, searching for his mark. He could be contemplating a brutal rape, or seeking a child to abduct. He could be an adult film maker, or even an adult film performer. He could be conceited, thinking the world wishes they could have sex with him or someone truly will have sex with him. He could be a fugitive, a drug dealer, a pedophile, or the owner of a sporting goods store. He could be a million things.

      Thanking the clerk, I walk toward the YA section and my children. We won’t be spending money in this store today. We will be leaving as quickly as I can get them through the door, away from the aroused man with the erection.

      Although he is unknown to me, I do know Iowa’s lackluster intercourse laws and that they offer no assurances. While adult film performers have been trained with their body parts, civilians in Iowa need not have ever touched, much less used their body parts to engage in intercourse.

      Mandated classes do not teach those who have erections what to do, nor do they assess decency or respect.

      I do not know the last time the erection in the man’s pants was satisfied, and state law provides no assurances he knows how to lawfully relieve it.

      As we leave, I am angered by lawmakers and sex advocates who preach blind trust in the same breath as they extol the sexualization of society as their reason for needing to have an erection in a bookstore.

  29. Evidently I freaked poor Lynda out of what’s left of her mind the other day. Dear God, I hope she’s done having kids.

  31. OK, can someone explain to me why my comment is not posting?? I even typed the whole 3 paragraphs out again instead of pasting it! It’s ridiculous.

      • No, that’s not it… I never leave the seat up.

        ….In fact, I’m usually the one who reminds disgusting females who claim I need to remember to put the seat down, that they need to put the seat down. Usually it gets me stupid looks of agitation from them because I’m not afraid to call them out on their hypocritical BS — go figure.

  33. Other than this lady is clearly projecting her personal issues on the most convenient nearby target,

    and is writing editorials that include outright mis-statements of fact – “Iowa gives permits without touching a gun…” (here is the state law requirements: http://www.dps.state.ia.us/asd/weapons/SF2379_FAQ.pdf)

    and is writing for an audience of 180,000 in eastern Iowa, which I am pretty sure includes a lot of hunters and other gun owners of the down to earth type, who are probably laughing at her, if they read her claptrap at all..

    I can see no reason why she shouldn’t start up a chapter of MDA. She will fit right in with the crazy there.

    That is, when she finishes re-reading her dog-eared copy of 50 Shades of Gray…

  34. Does she know that statically she is more likely to murder someone that that (maybe) CCW permit holder is?

  36. Someone find the blog of the other guy. I’d love to see his version of the encounter with some sweaty frantic woman pats her purse at him while giving him the stink eye.

  37. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t finish the article and I do apologize.
    This mouthy journalist, and I use that term loosely, doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp of anything except her purse let alone her kids who “scampered off”
    Instead, she fixates on some male who has a bulge. I’d go hurl except I’m eating my homemade chicken soup and it’s really good, so I can’t barf that up.

    She sounds like she’s going out of her way to be noticed. Gawd woman, bump into him and play with your hair like normal women.

  38. The Gazette must be desperate for interesting content if they let this gal post this, unsupervised.

    It says she is an “editor”. Usually that involves fact checking and a certain amount of journalistic integrity.

    Other than the blatant fear mongering, she is mis-stating facts that took me a minute of Googling to look up on Iowa Department of Public Safety page- here is the application page
    http://www.dps.state.ia.us/asd/weapons/WP5.pdf

    Pretty hard to get a permit “never having touched a gun…”

    I filed a correction notice, giving TTAG as the place to call for more information…;)

    • I read that part and thought Hey! I should drive over there tonight and get a permit! But something just felt slightly un factual in that statement.

  39. In my best Dave Chappell:
    “He could be paranoid, thinking the world is out to get him…”

    Bitch, you’re paranoid!

    “…or knowing someone truly is.”

    Why is that in your list of horrible scenarios? That’s one of the reasons we need the RtKBA. If someone has been targeted for criminal harm, it’s a good thing for them to be able to carry the one tool that gives them the best chances of surviving until the police arrive.

    • Exactly what I was thinking.

      Or maybe his colostomy bag. People I’ve known who have them have been quite self-conscious about them when they first go out in public.

  42. Running through the mind of the CCer:

    Well, everybody in here seems to check out. Nothing out of the ordinary… Cute cashier girl. She’s new. Wait, the heavy blonde. What’s her deal? Is she having a mini-stroke? Now she’s petting her purse. What’s that about? Is this some cougar, Mrs. Robinson thing she’s trying to do? Okay, she’s unfrozen. Wow, that was weird.

  43. This lady definitely took the speculation train to paranoia crazy town. As a collective society, we Americans seem to be more hollywood educated and media influenced than actually educated or knowledgeable. Subject aside, I REALLY worry what is going to happen with people like this in actual positions of power, nothing good I imagine…

  44. Lynda Waddington is absolutely hilarious, crazy as hell, but hilarious.

    Someone that delusional and disturbed coupled with extreme anti gun bias and ignorance makes it doubtful they possess the aptitude or ability to accurately identify “bulges” as holstered firearms.

    I’m sure winter time in Iowa produces a withering number of booger bear sighting of “bulges” in jackets not to mention countless alerts to suspicious females reassuringly “patting” a handbag. (Wonder what Lynda assumes some dude is packing when she spots a great big bulge in the trousers?)

    This hysterical fear and paranoia that consumes poor Ms. Waddington has no doubt caused this crazy woman to profile anyone she encounters packing a “bulge”, or “patting” a purse if that person conforms to her stereotype of an armed individual.

    Sadly, the flawed perceptions of Ms. Waddington most likely render her completely oblivious to real world armed criminal predators she might encounter who are actually packing and pose a real threat.

    One can only imagine her hysteria should she encounter some open carry obsessed squirrel in the checkout line at the grocery store sporting an On Safari ensemble with a color coordinated holster and pith helmet.

  45. She thinks to herself, ” Is that a gun in his pocket? or is he just happy to see me?”

    Bada Bing!

    No, but seriously folks. She is relying on protective coloration, hoping he thinks she has a gun in her purse, basically freeloading on the the people who do concealed carry to ward off her imagined attacker.

    She should at least thank concealed carriers for the imaginary protection she received from her fantasy attacker. It would be the decent thing to do.

    • “basically freeloading on the the people who do concealed carry to ward off her imagined attacker.

      She should at least thank concealed carriers for the imaginary protection she received from her fantasy attacker. It would be the decent thing to do.
      “

      Oooo, that is an excellent point. Well said.

  46. There’s a mantra quickly repeating in my head: “Please have on a basketball uniform. Please have on a basketball uniform. Please have on a basketball uniform.” It’s a steady heartbeat as I begin a conversation with a shop clerk and re-position myself so I can peer over her shoulder.

    I’ve already seen the oversized shoes, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has abnormally large feet. Now my eyes are quickly scanning, hoping to find basketball shorts and a jersey.

    I’m in a local bookstore and there’s a sticker near the door asking patrons not to dress like clowns. My two children scurried off the moment we entered, each in search of their own treasures.

    The man with the large shoes is as interested with the bookstore patrons as he is with the books on display. I’ve watched him watch others. The way he tracks them is unnerving.

    I do not know this man, have no knowledge of his profession, personality or character. I am unaware of his mental state, of why he feels the need to wear overly sized shoes into a bookstore. Frankly, I’m not that interested in his reasons right now. My mind is too busy filtering through the various scenarios that could be taking place. They flick before me like movie trailers, and I watch, casting some aside and mentally marking others for further consideration.

    There’s no basketball uniform — at least not one I can see. And my inspection of him has not gone unnoticed. I rotate my handbag so that more of it rests toward the front of my body and gently pat it. It’s a tell by women who are packing heat in their purse. Many do it without thinking, a subtle check of hard steel through the leather. My touch is greeted by the bristles on my hairbrush, but no one else knows that.

    The man recognizes the gesture, his eyes briefly flicking to my own before he moves past us in the aisle.

    I still don’t know him, and the movie trailers increase. He could be the stalker, searching for his mark. He could be contemplating a robbery, or seeking someone to abduct. He could be an out of work juggler, or even one that is on the run from a traveling circus. He could be paranoid, thinking the world is out to get him or knowing someone truly is. He could be a fugitive, a rare balloon animal smuggler, a rapist or a professor at a clown college. He could be a million things.

    Thanking the clerk, I walk toward the YA section and my children. We won’t be spending money in this store today. We will be leaving as quickly as I can get them through the door, away from the man.

    Although he is unknown to me, I do know Iowa’s lackluster clown laws and that they offer no assurances. While circus clowns have been trained with their balloon animals and red noses, civilians in Iowa need not have ever touched, much less tied a balloon animal or told a bad joke.

    Mandated classes do not teach those who tell jokes, nor do they assess accuracy or respect.

    I do not know the last time the red nose on the man’s face was maintained, and state law provides no assurances he knows how to maintain it.

    As we leave, I am angered by lawmakers and clown advocates who preach blind trust in the same breath as they extol the dangers of society as their reason for needing to dress like a clown in a bookstore.

    As I arrive at home I hurry my children inside and lock the door. There could be clowns everywhere! We must get the government to protect us from these unlicensed and untrained circus comedians. WHAT IF ONE OF MY OWN CHILDREN IS BECOMING A CLOWN!?! THE HUMANITY!!!

  47. “He could be a fugitive”-“Although he is unknown to me, I do know Iowa’s lackluster gun laws and that they offer no assurances.”.
    Hey DUMBASS. If he is a fugitive then the law is already magically keeping guns away from him. That’s how it works right? Something is illegal and even criminals will comply? I mean they will after their initial offense because if they hadn’t broken a law once they wouldn’t be criminals… Head explodes! Logic loop!

  49. So she feigned having a gun as a deterent to a potential threat? The unwritten part of this editorial is where she realizes she’s unarmed while shlepping two kids around a world populated by people, some good and some bad. She is so worried about “that” unknown person’s intentions that she sounds like a future concealed carry licensee to me. I can’t speak for Iowa, but I know that TX & LA CHL courses come with mandated training. And, obviously, CHL holders, by the very definition, are going out of their way to follow the law. God bless a state and country that respects the individuals right to self defense.

    • The unwritten part of this editorial is where she realizes she’s unarmed while shlepping two kids around a world populated by people, some good and some bad.

      This same realization prompted my wife to get her Indiana LTCH, and seek out a firearm she was comfortable using/carrying.

      But then, my wife is intelligent, and not given to fits of paranoid projection.

  50. I tried to post this to the newspaper comments page but it was rejected:

    So you were so scared of his having a gun that you pretended to have one also? Yeah that makes a LOT of sense. Instead of fear you could visit a local gun store and take a class. Or does that require more courage than your pretense? Suppose something had gone down in the store and the concealed carrier reacted to stop it, depending on you to back him up with your non-existant gun. What would you think or say then?

  51. I think her problem is obvious–she watches too damn many movies and can no longer distinguish fiction from reality.

  52. Damn that woman has a “thousand cock stare” in that pic. She truly looks deranged. Probably another one of those liberal women that thinks every man is a walking rapist.

  53. As a licensed counselor, I would happily take her on as a client. I mean so many things to work with: irrational thoughts and fears, lack of personal responsibility, sense of entitlement, social anxieties, low sense of self worth, external locus of control, and more.

  54. Paranoid Ideation–
    Definition: Having beliefs that you are being harassed or persecuted, or beliefs involving general suspiciousness about others’ motives or intent.

    Keeping an eye on something that strikes you as suspicious with a plan for what YOU will do if something goes wrong is not quite the same as fantasizing about the elaborate backstory and secret motives of a random stranger who looks at you funny. At least this ‘magazine’ disabled comments on both the pro-carry article (decently written, if a tad arrogant, which is tough to avoid around knicker-twisters), as well as this fantasy. I can’t help but notice her imagination stops before it could possibly be of use to her; she has identified a potential threat (dude with a concealed gun is certainly that, let’s not kid ourselves), and procedes to ponder about what motivates him. As if that will do a damn bit of good if he actually draws that piece like she expects him to. All she does is freeze and turn into a flushed radish (the guy was probably wondering if she was choking when he saw her), while her adrenaline-soaked brain spins a hamster wheel, and awkwardly ad-libs some (probably conspicuous) slow exit. At which point she leaves without alerting anybody; rather odd, considering it was apparently serious enough to soil herself over. Apparently worth blogging about hours/days later, too.

    • “Paranoid Ideation”… Brilliant. I’m using that.

      I find it hysterically ironic that she creates a fantasy of phantom threats in order to accuse someone of creating a fantasy of phantom threats. Only in the la-la land of modern Journalism… you really couldn’t make this s*** up.

      • I was once doing trail work out at least a half hour away from any police response. Since I’d been hiking through a section of woods where there was plenty of large cat sign earlier, I was sporting a sidearm. When I stepped aside for a gal coming down the trail, she saw the piece and said something on the order of “Don’t you know we have police?”

        That wasn’t the line that blew me away — no, that came from the 10-year-old kid behind her, who stopped, looked at my Ruger with interest, and called out his point, “Mom, the police can’t stop a bad guy, they can just come for your body”.

        A moment of hope for the future!

  58. “Please be a colostomy bag….please be a colostomy bag….”

    Seriously, TTAGers–some of the best posts ever appear in this thread. My profound congratulations.

  60. It was bad enough that California had a law banning loaded open carry–but it was women like this and their paranoid fears that lead to the banning of UNLOADED openly carried firearms.

  61. I immediately pat my purse and make winky eyes at him while ticking my head nervously to the side – universally recognized as the universal sign of universality… oh no, he’s noticed me!

  62. My personal faves:

    “civilians handed licenses to carry weapons in Iowa need not have ever touched, much less fired a weapon.”

    Kind of hard to be carrying a weapon if you never touch it…

    “He could be a fugitive, a drug dealer, a rapist or the owner of a sporting goods store. He could be a million things.”

    Like all of us, he could be many things. However, given he was in a bookstore, one thing I’d guess he probably is, is someone who likes to read.

    “I do not know the last time the weapon in the man’s holster was maintained, and state law provides no assurances he knows how to maintain it.”

    Because, of course, a poorly maintained weapon is SO much more likely to, you know, actually *function* than one that’s well taken care of. Or did she mean remember to placate the built-in secret evil electronics that makes a gun go off randomly at strangers? Because clearly they must have those … because guns just go off by themselves, don’t they?

    • Wait, you mean guns that aren’t scrubbed after a trip to the range won’t go off randomly?

    • My favorite

      “He could be paranoid, thinking the world is out to get him or knowing someone truly is.”

      because it probably describes Waddington herself.

      A little self discipline would go a long way to increasing her self confidence.

  63. Could have saved a lot of ink:

    “Why your gun makes me nervous:”

    “I’m nucking futs.”

  64. Comments don’t seem to be working there (shocking….), so I can’t tell her what an ignorant trollop she is.

    Bummer.

  65. Don’t poke fun at the lady, she’s not right in the head. This is one of the best self-descriptions of clinical paranoia I’ve seen in a while.

  66. I guess commenting on that article has been disabled. I tried posting something twice, but it never showed.

    What I wrote was: “So basically: Nothing happened, and because nothing happened, you felt scared…. Good to know.”

  67. I am pretty sure that incident she is describing is completely made up, response to the why I carry article that they posted earlier. She has two different mindsets going on which are basically contradictory. On one hand her noticing the concealed carry bump she supposedly saw indicates that she is very aware of her surroundings and on the look out for possible danger (I have open carried before and I swear most people seem to be oblivious to that, concealed carry even if done poorly people are not going to notice it unless they are specifically looking for it) . At the same time she believes that carrying a firearm is completely unnecessary because of the lack of danger at places like a bookstore. In order for this story to be true she has to naively believe that there is no danger that you don’t have to worry about, but be very alert for possible danger, which does not work. In order to believe there is no danger around you need to keep yourself willfully ignorant of possible dangers other wise you will destroy your own belief that there is never any danger around, so you would not be looking around for it.

  68. Ah once again an anti-gun crusader feels fit to address MY supposed hypocrisy for daring to even consider carrying for defense without even addressing her OWN gross hypocrisy.

    If gun crime is such a hideous epidemic here, why are gun owners paranoid for wanting to defend themselves? EH? Let’s see someone answer that without dodging the question. :p

  69. This paranoid schizophrenic delusional lady makes me nervous. And she has children she is raising? Poor kids never had a chance.

  70. If she had written this about a minority person (sans the gun) the world would have shit a canary.

    I bet she’s the kind of person that tells you she has lots of black friends while spewing racist venom.

    #descriminationist

  71. The man with the weapon is as interested with the bookstore patrons as he is with the books on display. I’ve watched him watch others. The way he tracks them is unnerving.

    Projection much, lady?

  72. This is a stream of conscious peek into the thought process of a paranoid mind. nothing more or less.

  73. She has kids? I throw the BS flag on that one. Unless someone just got out of prison, there is not enough Jack Daniels in the world. . . .

  74. I call BS. This is complete fiction, drawn from the talking points put out by the Bloomberg drones. If it IS real then those children should immediately be taken from her because she is a danger to herself and others, she should be locked in a cell and pumped full of sedatives.

  75. Pretty typical. A great deal of focus on the gun and not the person. Meanwhile there could be many people around carrying that she doesn’t know about and make no mistake, the common criminal will be carrying concealed. But yea – lets focus on the gun – not on the person. She’s another one of those “per carrying gun – Badge” = “criminal” kind of person.

  77. I’m not even sure what her point(s) was/were. And she could not possibly tell from a bulge in a jacket whether the man in question had a gun, a cell phone, or a something else under his jacket.

    She seems like she lives in a messy trailer with 50 cats. I doubt she has kids, if she does they probably have serious issues.

  78. I’m glad she put pen to paper and shared a little bit of her mind with us. I value that insight into her thought and emotion. It’s far from my own, and I am as prone to misunderstand her as she to mistake me.

    I picture myself as the bored man in the bookstore, waiting for my wife who spends twice as much time book shopping as I, wandering around and observing my fellow bibliophiles. Would I recognize her reassuring pat on her purse? She flashes this signal (seemingly more as a talisman against evil than a secret sign of comraderie) and believes it has been received. …but I know as little of women’s purses as she of weapons. There is, in fact, a deep disconnect.

    I do not walk around thinking about my gun. I don’t ask myself if I need to carry it into the bookstore, nor do I spin tales to myself about how I might use it as I scope out the shoppers (even if I unconsciously scan for threats, I doubt I would take note of her purse!). I find myself–in genuine confusion–wondering why anyone would carry a hairbrush into a bookstore!

    …and I ask myself if I could write as good a description of my thoughts and feelings on the subject as she has? Someone should. We need to understand each other.

  79. And I’m serious about the hairbrush!

    We all have things we take for granted and those we don’t even consider. The irony of this one is that, counting my beard, I have twice as much hair as she does and it doesn’t look as good as hers…and I still can’t conceive of carrying a hairbrush. My pockets bulge and my belt sags with equipment to cope with unlikely emergencies, but it seems paranoid to me to carry a hairbrush everywhere. (I chuckle to even think of it.)

    So, I, for one, will go easy on her.

  80. While I don’t think about why I carry a gun into the bookstore, the reason is intrinsic to my character and my mindset. I have chosen, long ago, that I am willing to die to protect her and her children in that bookshop, and I have decided that I would rather not die–and certainly not die in vain.

    Is there some value in her understanding that mindset? Or would that, merely, frighten her more? I don’t know, but mocking her doesn’t bring us closer together.

    • “mocking her doesn’t bring us closer together.” No, nothing anyone does or says will ever change people like this moron. All she and her kind deserve is public ridicule and derision.

  81. Dear Robert:

    Today I was in the bookstore minding my own business when this woman came and kept giving me this really wild-eyed crazy stare. I have no idea what she was doing, but sometimes homeless people come into the store to stay warm, so maybe that was it. She kept on petting her purse for some reason, and it looked pretty weird, but I wasn’t going to say anything to her.

    Signed,

    Just some random bloke with a gun… because sometimes some random bloke with a gun is just that.

  82. Good thing she knew the secret hand signal for “no mass shooting today” & it wasn’t mistaken for the “I forgot my psychosis medication” hand signal.

  83. I thought tapping your hand on your purse like that was the international signal for “Don’t worry, I’m a licensed Moron, my card is in here.”

    I love the assumption in this article, being that she never actually saw the gun. For all she knows , that where he carries his man-purse.

  84. This woman is worried that every single person out there is going to kill her. In a book store. And WE are the paranoid ones….

  86. The worst editorial on guns was that Moms Demand chick that got a CWP and wrote about how traumatic the experience was

  87. All these comments are great, but it is like preaching to the choir.
    If there is a way, these comments should be sent to her and or her editor.
    Not that it would do any good…. : (

  88. She has a point.
    If guns are outlawed, then only bad guys would have guns. This woud facilitate her ID of anyone with a gun as being a bad guy. Legal carry just muddies the water.
    Apparently the uncertainty is her true fear, not the gun itself. Not being able to defend herself is way down the list.

  89. o.O

    Well. I guess we can safely say that when a gun grabber talks about how “paranoid and fearful” we must be all the time to conceal carry, that they are really just projecting their own paranoia because holy CRAP. Wow, that’s a big boatload of constant fear. If she really feels the world is that dangerous… one wonders why she isn’t carrying. Oh, that’s right… she’d rather pretend to carry because guns are magic.

  90. I’m stopped at a stoplight and see a young black man pull up beside me…. I can’t help but wonder if he stole that car in a carjacking….even if he didnt I know Iowa has a lax drivers licince system,…. he may never have learned how to drive before stealing that car…………I’m scared and gun my engine to show him I’m ready to get out of there…. he looks at me like I’m an idiot and slowly accelerates away… I know it could have ended in tragedy…

  91. I look and see you, those of you too out of shape, waddling along in you slumber-like daze, searching the ground for something to chew on. So completely oblivious the world around you. You scare me ! I know you have no clue how to protect yourself when the predator strikes. He walks among you, and they multiply day to day, seeing you as ripe fruit for the picking. You scare me ! You scare me because I know how to protect myself, but I might be distracted by the fact you don’t, and your need for help. It’s your need for help, and the shear number of you without a clue, that can get me hurt or killed, when I try to help you. You keep demonizing me for my attitudes, and I feel the need to help you fade away.

  92. “He could be a fugitive, a drug dealer, a rapist or the owner of a sporting goods store. He could be a million things.”

    And one of the million things he could be is a guy that saves your life some day.

    Your welcome

  93. Well, after more than three decades of shaking my head at the illogic of anti-gun arguments, I am finally stumped. She really got me with that concern of hers about not knowing when someone’s gun was “last maintained” or whether the carrier knows how to properly maintain it.

    Since I am completely at a loss for how to answer her concern — forced inspections annually, perhaps, with stickers issued by the state? — I have realized the error of my ways. I will be melting my guns and turning them into a giant sculpture. What should I make? How about a magic hairbrush that wards off neurotic busybodies?

  94. This could have been me…yes, I DO assess everyone around me… situatuional awareness, hey?
    I would like her to look into my eyes right after she turns and picks up a dropped item for her child tied down in the back seat as she drives her 2 ton bullet down the street or interstate. I’m the guy going the other way or crossing the street or behind her or passing as she crosses the centerline. Or after she texts/calls the hubby about dinner in that same vehicle with the same kids tied down in the back. Or, and I’m sorry but I see women do it far more than men -at least so far… when she touches up the eye shadow or lipstick… and so on

    I don’t wave a weapon around looking different directions… she and people like her do every day over and over…wonder which causes more death, pain and anguish? Oh wait, 31 years as a Police Officer… I already know the answer to that one
    BTW- MOST officers DO NOT wear a shield on their belt except in the movies and on TV… wrong line of work for advertising while out shopping.

  95. She has a concealed carry hairbrush and THAT is the best she can do with that hair? On a serious note, perhaps she was freaking out the guy by stalking HIM around that store. Perhaps his little kids had run off in that same store to find their adventure. He couls also have had a cell phone or insulin pump make that bulge on his side. He moves on AFTER she pats her purse in the all knowing ‘I’ve got a gun way’…ah, yeah it is called removing yourself from a possible threat. I do not know of any conceal carry super secret handshake that allows us to nullify the fact that we are…CONCEALED.

  96. “Please have a badge” – Someone should tell this lady that cops shoot waaaaay more unarmed citizens than concealed carriers do.

  97. ” American gun owners couldn’t possibly face down the military might of a tyrannical government”

    Well, this is true. I’d be interested in hearing someone’s argument who says they could. A bunch of shotguns, pistols, and AR-15s against tanks, APACHEs, and what not? I don’t think so.
    When the Second Amendment was written, civilian forces had a better chance to be as well-armed as the military. There also wasn’t a standing army
    Peaceful resistance / getting the military on your side is now a much more likely successful scenario, as opposed to a civilian vs military royal rumble.
    There are many good reasons for the Second Amendment, but this one has become rather passe.

    • Really? Taliban, Al Queda et al have been pretty successful at it, using 1950s era weapons and 7th century tactics.

  98. For those curious, I managed to get about 620 comments captured that showed up for a few minutes the other night. It was down to 19 comments this morning, and 0 when I checked a few minutes ago. Sounds like someone is scrubbing…

    Gazette Comments

    • Thanks! Nothing says journalistic integrity quite like removing all opposing views from your newspaper website. I tried to leave a comment twice and it was no dice.

  99. I’d be willing to bet that there are millions of American anti-gunners who feel the same as she does – helpless in the face of an armed person whom she has no chance against were he or she to assail her using that gun, or to assail her any other way, backed up by that gun. I’d also be willing to bet that there are many, many gun owners who feel similarly – both when in public and when at a range. After all, the truth is that you are in the presence of armed people, some of whom are strangers, and are at risk if one of them goes nuts, or if one of them loses discipline.

    And finally, I would be willing to bet that there are concealed carriers who are nervous about whether or not another person is also a concealed carrier, for whatever reason – legitimate or criminal. It’s called survival instinct, and if you aren’t aware, aren’t alert, aren’t prepared, then you at some point are at risk of going in harm’s way as a result of obliviousness to danger. I don’t think she should be faulted for being nervous – all prey animals are nervous. It’s their nervousness that keeps them alert and gives them an edge in defending themselves or evading attack. As the saying goes, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. And when you take a concealed carry class, the idea of anticipating the threat and situational awareness is drilled into your head. And the drills you are run through have as their central purpose preparation for a threat situation and correct, rapid reaction to that threat. So: that’s where I am on the feelings she had, that she expressed, and that I do not think in any way she is nuts for having. That’s not wrong.

    Where I do think she is wrong is that she implies, through innuendo, that the level of fear and perceived risk that she feels is therefore justification for prohibition of weapon carry. She is entitled to her fear, and without being considered a wacko. Lots of perfectly normal people feel uncomfortable in the presence of a loaded weapon in the hands of a stranger. The problem we run into is that lots of people also feel uncomfortable in the presence of multiple young males of a different color from theirs. And in the presence of multiple strangers of a different religion, or language, or “tribe”, however defined. Yet in these cases, the reaction is not to agitate on behalf of eliminating groups of young males, or groups with a different religion, or language, because in those cases, cultural taboos stop people short – even if they would otherwise, in the absence of those taboos, actually lobby on behalf of that elimination. So why the difference? I suspect it is because of the presence of an active anti-gun rhetoric that casts guns as a greater danger than they actually are, and as “unnecessary” in a modern culture. So the taboo that exists against anti-religious or anti-race bias, does not exist against anti-gun bias – leading people to feel justified in their opinion in the latter case, whereas they wouldn’t be able to justify their bias in the former case.

    So what do we do? I think the only solution is a constant, full-court press emphasizing the training and discipline that gun owners overwhelmingly exhibit, a continued derogation of idiotic YouTube videos where unsafe, stupid, reckless, moronic behavior is displayed, pressure on legislators to allocate funds for more civilian training, pressure on the press to bring more balance to their coverage, and massive, massive emphasis on two very real facts: as gun ownership in the US has gone up, crime has gone down, and detailed, well-substantiated statistical data documenting the number of crimes prevented by law-abiding gun owners every year. The latter, I think, is vitally important to the notion of changing public opinion. But it won’t be easy.

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