A Washington man faces felony charges after shooting himself in the butt at a gas station on Nov. 3. Police caught up with the victim/suspect at a local hospital where he promptly blamed the shooting on a stranger, but authorities were already the wiser.

Officers responded to a Shell gas station in Kent around 3:15 p.m. on Sunday after reports of a man shooting himself and then fleeing the scene. Speaking with the Kent Police Department, a gas station clerk explained that the man had stopped in to gas up and was browsing items on the shelves inside the convenience store when a gun fell from his pants. The suspect picked up the handgun and returned it to his waistband, only to have it fall several more times while he continued to fumble with it like Tim “Tampon” Waltz loading a shotgun. 

As the suspect continued to fiddle with the gun in his waistband, he ultimately discharged the weapon right into his own butt. After installing the new orifice, the man fell to the floor and stumbled out the door without saying a word or asking for help. That’s when witnesses told police he got in a car and was driven away by someone else.

The 43-year-old Ferndale man was dropped off at a hospital in Auburn by his girlfriend who left him there and drove away shortly after the incident. When authorities caught up with the man, he told them he was shot by somebody else as he walked out to the gas station parking lot, a statement easily dismissed by video footage of the incident. The man was eventually transported to Harborview Medical Center to undergo surgery.

Officers also caught up with the suspect’s girlfriend, pulling her over. She turned over the firearm in question, which he had stashed in the car. According to police, the man has a prior felony conviction for violating a domestic violence no-contact order, making it illegal for him to possess a firearm. In addition, the gun itself had been reported stolen.

Kent police say the man faces three felony charges once discharged from the hospital. 

It’s always a unique twist when the suspect is also the victim in a story. The irony of catching a triple felony case for shooting yourself in the butt doesn’t escape me either, nor does its congruence with the whole felon in possession of a stolen weapon dynamic. There are all sorts of lessons learned with this one, such as proper handling and holstering of a firearm, not lying to the police, not breaking the law in general, and definitely not shooting yourself. I wonder how many of these our suspect will learn, and I wonder if he’ll be allowed an inflatable butt cushion in prison. It’s a lot cheaper than a sex change operation…so I hear.

33 COMMENTS

  1. If you’re going to point guns at each other while drinking beer don’t document it in a photo. Or better yet just don’t.

    • Just what I was going to say. This example/photo discredits the writer, the site and gives ammo to the gun grabbers. Wonder if the law will track down and arrest the guy brandishing a pistol. My late father’s wisdom rings out to me: “Use your head for something besides a hat rack.”

  2. Appears he listened to the ignorant azzholes on this forum who barked at my instructions for making a trigger plug from a tire stem. Having that plug could have save his behind…pun intended.

    • No, that is still a dumb idea. Israeli carry is a better thought. What this idiot needed was a holster and, I’m going out on a limb here, probably pants that fit and a belt.

    • Any kind of actual holster would have been an improvement. Even with a trigger plug, you should have some kind of holster.

  3. Now that our asshole attorney general is going to be governor, I bet he’ll use this as another excuse to further impair our rights.

  4. This felon shot himself in the butt, but he’s in custody now so it worked out in the end.

    Darwinism is a term used to describe a theory of biological evolution. It posits, eventually, that intelligent life ‘evolved biologically’, but the theory states that all species of organisms arise and develop through the natural selection of small, inherited variations that increase the individual’s ability to compete, survive, and reproduce.

    Darwin apparently left something out of his theory.

    • Darwin left out the influence of lawyers in natural selection. A good lawyer can make a victim of an accident rich and more attractive to potential mates, making them more likely to breed and pass on their defective genes.

      • Lots of alcohol ingested can make that woman in the bar more attractive to potential alcohol infused mates, making them more likely to breed and pass on their defective genes.

  5. I once had an employee that managed to hit himself with his own car…

    Like Energy, stupid is never destroyed, it just changes forms.

    • I’ve known a number of folks that were injured or suffered property damage when their unmanned cars got frisky. Cars are deadly as hell. I had a neighbor get under his jacked up car and it fell on him. He never fully recovered.

      Do not leave a vehicle running if you ain’t sitting there in it.

  6. About 1975 I knew a police officer who carried a .25 auto in his back pocket. One day, while taking it out of his pocket, he accidently shot himself in the hand. He was take to the hospital where his hand was bandaged. Later, back at the station, another cop asked him how it happened. He tried to take it out of his back pocket with his other hand. You guessed it. It discharged again striking him in the other hand. Some people just don’t learn.

  7. As an addendum to the Darwin comments, why couldn’t he be appendix carrying? A sure method of birth control, is a lead vasectomy.

  8. C’mon folks. The guy already paid for his crime against himself; let it go at that. Proper justice doesn’t always require jail time.

  9. In the last ten years I read news articles to see what was left out of the description of the events and people involved. Once again, what we aren’t told is the real story.

    In this case, defying the law by carrying illegally doesn’t get fixed unless enforcement is meted out. Being Nice hasn’t reduced crime over the last 50 years and it’s time to face the fact that we are not winning until criminals are made aware there are consequences to their actions. Unfortunately, too many young men are raised with no father to teach them that, and too many women are destructive of raising them properly to be constructive citizens. it’s going take 2-3 generations to reverse this, and the tears of those currently preventing discipline need to be ignored. After all, if it saves one butt from being shot . . .

  10. @tirod3
    If you spank your kid with a ruler for drowning the neighbors dog the state will throw you in jail and take your kid away from you.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here